(a bum is hanging around outside a Chinese Restaurant accosting passers-by)
["Mr. Song's" Chinese restaurant]
MR. SONG: (bringing her takeaway) Ah, your order. Your husband come home?
CHRISTINE: No, my husband's still in Washington, but I haven't eaten all day and I'm starving. (giving him a dollar bill) Here, the rest is for you.
MR. SONG: Oh, thanks
CHRISTINE: Thank you, Mr Song.
MR. SONG: Be careful.
(as Chris comes out the bum accosts her)
PUSHY BUM: Missie.
CHRISTINE: Sorry, not tonight.
PUSHY BUM: Oh, please. Anything would be a big help. I'm really hungry.
CHRISTINE: Look, there's a shelter three blocks away over on Second.
PUSHY BUM: Look, I'm a veteran of the two Gulf Wars.
(he puts up his foot up on the Bonnet of her she goes to get in)
CHRISTINE: Hey! Back off, friend!! It's time to leave me alone. Yes?
PUSHY BUM: Yeah. Honestly, you rich bitch! Don't tell me can't spare a poor man a couple of bucks for food.
CHRISTINE: (putting the takeaway on the bonnet of the car while she opens her handbag) Let me show you something. I'm a cop because.... (the bum grabs the food and makes a run for it) Hey! (running after him) That's my dinner!! ...Stop!! Stop thief!!! ...Stop that bum!! (the bum runs across a street and is hit by a cab. He lies there kicking the cab's grille. Chris comes up) Get up you no good!! Get up!!!
CAB DRIVER: (getting out of the cab) It was not my fault. (to the bum) Because of you my insurance is gonna go up.
PUSHY BUM: Come on, lady, it was just some food!!
CHRISTINE: Yes, but it was my food!!!
CAB DRIVER: You saw what happened! You're a witness! (to the people watching) Call a cop there!
CHRISTINE: I am a cop!!!
PUSHY BUM: (getting up) Why don't you just leave me alone?!!!
(the bum grabs the takeaway again and makes another run for it)
CAB DRIVER: Hey!! Come back here!!
(Chris sees the bum run into Central Park)
CHRISTINE: (chasing him) Hey! Stop!
(she loses sight of him and stops, turns all around, looking and listening. She turns her ankle on the side of the footpath)
CHRISTINE: Ow! Oh, damn it! Ow! (she hobbles a bit but has to sit down. Feeling the ankle) Oh! (yelling out) If you're still here...forget it!! ...You win! ...Bon appetit.
PUSHY BUM: (appearing) I didn't do it. I swear I didn't. (looking round behind himself) I didn't...
CHRISTINE: What do you mean 'You didn't do it'? (getting up and going up to him) You took my damn dinner! I saw you take it. (Chris looks down at what the bum is looking at. There is a man laying, face on down on the grass) Oh, God.
(later the police have arrived and a crowd has gathered. Chris is sitting on a bench with her feet up)
SGT ROGERS: You know who that stiff is? Right?
CHRISTINE: I thought he was just some homeless guy.
SGT ROGERS: Not just any homeless guy. That's Earl Yeager
CHRISTINE: It doesn't ring a bell.
SGT ROGERS: You must have seen it. It was on all the news shows. He comes down here and he terrorises all the people in one co-op.
CHRISTINE: Oh, yeah, I remember, I read that. Is that him?
SGT ROGERS: It was. And the co-op is half a block up the Avenue there which suggests something, don't it?
CHRISTINE: Well, it certainly limits the immediate list of suspects. Are you gonna send somebody up there?
UNIFORMED OFFICER: Sergeant Rogers, it's for you.
SGT ROGERS: Excuse me a minute, Lieutenant.
PARAMEDIC: (attending to Chris's ankle) There you go.
CHRISTINE: Thank you.
SGT ROGERS: (into radio) Rogers here.
(Chris looks across. The bum is sitting eating her takeaway)
CHRISTINE: (to the bum) Enjoying yourself?
PUSHY BUM: Yeah. The orange-flavoured beef's too spicy.
SGT ROGERS: Lieutenant, we may have narrowed the list of suspects to one.
(two officers bring up a man, Chance Tucker, handcuffed)
CHANCE TUCKER: You heard me. I didn't do nothing. (as they put him the car) I didn't do nothing.
[Outside the DA's building]
(Chris is picking up some breakfast)
MARY BETH: So what kind of case have you got on this guy?
CHRISTINE: He wraps himself up with the dead man's jacket, get this, with a bullet hole that exactly matches the fatal wound. Not only did he have the murder weapon in his pocket, he also had a very expensive bottle of Scotch and twenty-eight dollars, which according to one of the tenants in the co-op Yeager stole from her.
MARY BETH: Your foot seems OK.
CHRISTINE: He fixed me up. I'm gonna take this bandage off before I go to Washington tomorrow.
MARY BETH: What's it? Another fancy party?
CHRISTINE: (getting a newspaper from a news-stand) I know it sounds glamorous. (the newspaper headline is 'HOMELESS vs. HOMELESS!') Look at this. You wouldn't think one homeless bum killing another homeless bum would land up on the front page, would you. ...(reading) Chance Tucker.
MARY BETH: Chance Tucker?
CHRISTINE: I could not remember the name of the guy we arrested. Chance Tucker. (Mary Beth stops and stares) What's the matter?
MARY BETH: Let me see that.
CHRISTINE: (as Mary Beth walks into the building with the newspaper) Mary Beth, what's the matter?
MARY BETH: (turning) I don't know. ..I don't know yet.
[Laceys' lounge/DA Investigators' office]
(Harvey, in his dressing gown and pyjamas, has his feet up watching TV. The phone goes)
HARVEY: (into phone) Hello.
MARY BETH: (on phone) Harvey?
MARY BETH: (into phone) I thought you'd still be out doing your walking. I was gonna leave a message.
HARVEY: I just this minute walked back in the door. What you doing? Checking up on me.
MARY BETH: Listen, Harve. Didn't you used to know a person called Chance Tucker?
REPORTER: (on TV) ...on East End Avenue began four years ago. Earl Yeager was arrested last April but, as usual, he didn't stay incarcerated for long. So why didn't the police keep Earl Yeager off the streets?
(Mary Beth comes in)
CHRISTINE: It's a news report on Earl Yeager.
REPORTER: (on TV) ...took him to the Emergency Room, who in turn sent him to a safe hospital where he spent a few weeks before being released again. Earl Yeager promised this time, that he's gonna get a job and stay off drugs, but that's a promise these people have heard before. The co-op, six families living in terror and as of today the tenants of this building on East End Avenue still feel like prisoners in their own home.
FELDBERG: (switching the TV off) Well, as you can see, this hasn't bees the City's finest hour, so we need a disposition. I just need to tie up one loose end.
CHRISTINE: The lack of gun shot residue on the coat.
FELDBERG: Exactly. I you want to send Angelus to find someone who saw him wearing a different coat.
MARY BETH: Excuse me, Mr. Feldberg, pardon me, Detective Angelus is at NBD, but I can do it. You see, my husband, he used to work with Mr. Tucker. In fact that's why I came in here, to speak to the Lieutenant about this case.
FELDBERG: Yeah, but Lacey, you had a report to do today, didn't you? The Business and Professions Code offenders.
MARY BETH: Yes sir, but I can do that on the weekend and get it in to you on Monday. And this way I could assure my husband that it's a righteous bust. Arrest!
CHRISTINE: (giving Mary Beth the file. Feldberg goes to protest) Here.
MARY BETH: Thank you, Lieutenant. (as she flees) Mr. Feldberg.
FELDBERG: I wish you hadn't of done that.
CHRISTINE: Why not?! If there is anything, she's gonna find it. It sure has a higher priority than a code offenders' list.
FELDBERG: Cagney, just so you don't think I'm sandbagging you later, unless I find some money somewhere, I'm gonna have to cut out a position in the department and Lacey doesn't have any seniority.
CHRISTINE: No!!! She needs this job.
FELDBERG: Look, it's nothing personal. Just don't say anything about it. OK? There's nothing definite and I'm still trying to find my way around it. OK?
MARY BETH: Pardon me, ma'am, are you Gloria Seeley? ...At the shelter they told me I might find you.
GLORIA: Are you a social worker?
MARY BETH: (showing her ID) I'm Mary Beth Lacey. I'm an Investigator with the District Attorney's Office and I understand that you're a friend of Mr. Chance Tucker.
GLORIA: I'm his fiancée.
MARY BETH: (sitting down beside her) Oh, I see, congratulations. She shakes her hand) Did you see your fiancée yesterday?
GLORIA: Sure. You got a cigarette?
MARY BETH: No, sorry, I don't smoke. Can you remember what kind of coat Mr. Tucker was wearing yesterday?
GLORIA: The same thing that he always wears. A long slicker. You sure you don't have a cigarette?
MARY BETH: No. Sorry. Could you describe this slicker?
GLORIA: It's white! It used to be white. Down to his ankles. He really loved that coat.
MARY BETH: (getting up) OK.
GLORIA: (as Mary Beth walks a way) Nice and warm. Waterproof.
MARY BETH: Thank you very much.
GLORIA: I only gave it to him because it's the same thing cowboys in Montana wear.
MARY BETH: Thank you, ma'am. What was the last time that you saw him?
GLORIA: I don't like to sleep out like he does so I have to get back to the shelter. They lock me out. Besides, he had himself a bottle, and he wasn't in a sharing mood.
MARY BETH: What time was this?
GLORIA: Just before eight.
MARY BETH: Are you certain it was before eight? This is important, Miss. Seeley. Are you certain that he had the bottle just before eight?
GLORIA: Sure. Why?
MARY BETH: (sitting down again) OK. Bear with me. What kind of liquor and where did he get it?
(Gloria is with Mary Beth)
MARY BETH: I'm Mrs. Lacey. I'm with the District Attorneys' Office and I'm wondering if you remember this woman.
JACQUES: No, I do not believe so.
MARY BETH: Well, she came in here yesterday. She was with a man, an African-American man, and he had a kind of a cowboy slicker.
JACQUES: Perhaps. I do not remember.
GLORIA: You remember.
MARY BETH: This man, he bought a bottle Chivas Regal.
JACQUES: This is a liquor store. We sell beaucoup liquor.
(Gloria whispers in Mary Beth's ear)
MARY BETH: Yes. An expensive bottle of liquor ...to a homeless man. He paid you with a fifty-dollar bill.
JACQUES: As I say, I do not remember.
GLORIA: You're lying. Lying.
(she shouts something and walks out)
MARY BETH: (after Gloria) Hang on! (to Jacques) Well maybe your co-worker would recall.
JACQUES: He does not speak English and besides he was not working yesterday, only I. I'm sorry, ma'am.
MARY BETH: (looking at a CCTV camera) And that?
JACQUES: You are welcome to look, but the cameras have not worked since before I came here. Is there anything else I can do for you?
(Mary Beth comes out of the store and runs along looking for Gloria)
GLORIA: (from a shop doorway) He's lying. He's lying his head off.
MARY BETH: I don't know. (holding out a carton of cigarettes) These are for you. And I'm sorry for all your trouble and I thank you for your help.
GLORIA: (she turns to go, not accepting the cigarettes) Nobody cares. ...Nobody! To all of you he's just a bum. He used to be somebody. So don't turn your nose up because it could happen to you. OK?
MARY BETH: Yes, ma'am, I know that. My husband, he used to work with Mr. Tucker.
GLORIA: (coming back) Then why don't you help him?! You could help him if you wanted to!
MARY BETH: (holding out the cigarettes) Here.
GLORIA: No, I don't want your lousy cigarettes.
[DA Investigators' office]
CHRISTINE: (coming in) Any luck?
MARY BETH: Maybe.
CHRISTINE: (looking at what Mary Beth is working on) A burgled vehicles report?
MARY BETH: Tucker's fiancée said that he bought the Scotch with fifty dollars he stole from a sports car.
CHRISTINE: Maybe he forgot. What you were supposed to be doing was finding someone who saw him wearing different clothes from the ones he was arrested in.
MARY BETH: Well the fiancée says he always wore the same clothes.
CHRISTINE: (sarcastically) Probably because fiancée always tells the truth.
MARY BETH: Everybody I spoke to said the same thing. Chance Tucker always wears the same coat.
CHRISTINE: All right. Everybody? Bums whose brains were so pickled they couldn't even remember what they were wearing when they were talking to you.
MARY BETH: For a person (lowering her voice) that's been in AA for eight years, Chris,...
CHRISTINE: Seven years and nine months. Who's counting?
MARY BETH: Chance Tucker's girlfriend used to be a normal housewife with two kids and a husband until he ran off. It can happen to anybody, Chris.
CHRISTINE: All she's gotta do is get herself a job.
MARY BETH: And the kids, they're supposed to get a job too? All right. OK, I'm not gonna argue politics with you. I talked to the clerk in the liquor store and I'm pretty certain he's lying to me.
CHRISTINE: Mary Beth,...
MARY BETH: And there's one more thing. (picking up the forensic report) Tucker's' hands. There was no gunshot residue on his hands either.
CHRISTINE: Maybe he wore gloves and then threw them away.
MARY BETH: Pretty sophisticated thinking for a homeless alcoholic with pickled brain. We've arrested the wrong man hear. I'm taking this to Feldberg.
CHRISTINE: No. No, do not take it to Feldberg, Mary Beth, please. Just give him a list of witnesses you've talked to. Just the facts, no editorial. And also please finish the list of code offenders.
MARY BETH: I said that I would do that this weekend. This is more important, Chris.
CHRISTINE: (very quietly) Look, Mary Beth, there's a rumour going around that there's gonna be a cutback. I don't think this is the time to be tilting at windmills.
MARY BETH: A cutback?
CHRISTINE: I just like having you here. I don't wanna lose you now. ...I've gotten used to having you around again. Anyway, so please will you just promise me that you won't go to Feldberg and you'll have that code offenders' list on his desk by Monday.
MARY BETH: You're gonna miss your plane, Chris.
CHRISTINE: You're so stubborn, Mary Beth. Stop it! Will you listen to me!!
MARY BETH: (standing up) Have a good time. I'll see you Monday. (Chris goes) Cut back.
(in Washington on a wet evening. James is in a tuxedo)
CHRISTINE: Harvey isn't at work yet. She has to support the whole family.
JAMES: You did what you could, Christine. You warned her. I have an appointment with a realtor. He's gonna show us houses tomorrow.
CHRISTINE: But the hotel's amazing. Makes me feel like we're away for a dirty weekend.
JAMES: You don't have to live there.
CHRISTINE: Maid service, breakfast in bed.
JAMES: OK, OK. We'll wait.
CHRISTINE: Couldn't we go back and start now?
JAMES: Two hours. OK. I promise. You press the flesh a little bit, smile that charming smile. I'll get us out of there as early as I can. OK?
(initially Chris is talking to four other well-coiffured women. Later)
CHRISTINE [OC}: I don't think I can do this!
JAMES[OC}: You've been great tonight.
(later Chris is talking to four tuxedoed older men)
WASHINGTON #1: Oh, you're James Burton's charming wife.
CHRISTINE: Well I wouldn't know about the charming part.
(the men laugh)
WASHINGTON #2: James says you're a District Attorney.
CHRISTINE: I'm assigned there as an Investigator. I'm still in the Police Department.
WASHINGTON #2: You mean you're not a lawyer.
CHRISTINE: Just a simple cop.
WASHINGTON #2: Really.
WASHINGTON #1: So tell me, you know any of the ones that are always beating up on minorities?
(later Chris and James are dancing closely)
JAMES: How ya doing?
CHRISTINE: You'll find out. You'll think you're coming into the control room at Endowment Dinner.
JAMES: Oo, sounds scintillating.
CHRISTINE: It is, I'm making a speech. And after tonight you're in the Big Time.
JAMES: A night that is not over yet.
CHRISTINE: You're a dreamer.
[Queens Bridge Park]
(Mary Beth and Harvey are out walking)
HARVEY: It's obscene, you know that? Richest country in the world and we have people so desperate they've gotta kill for a warm coat or a couple of bucks.
MARY BETH: I told ya, I don't think Chance Tucker did kill Jaeger.
HARVEY: Oh, well, you're right about that. Society did it. Life! Liberty! The pursuit of happiness! Lots of work in twentieth century America. If you don't have a flushing toilet, order a PE!!!
MARY BETH: Harvey, you're not supposed to work yourself up!
HARVEY: You know, he had a life, Mary Beth. He had a house and a life before he hurt his back, lost his job, his medical insurance. And all his money was spent on doctors and hospitals.
MARY BETH: Please, Harve.
HARVEY: The only reason he started drinking was because he couldn't afford painkillers anymore! The land of opportunity, eh? What is it? Something like thirty percent of Americans are three paychecks away from being on the street!
MARY BETH: Harvey, we're not gonna be homeless. OK? (Harvey stops. She walks back) What? Why are you stopping? Are you OK?
HARVEY: Yeah, I'm great. Let's go back, I've had enough.
(Chris comes in. She finds Mary Beth in a WC. As Mary Beth turns, smoke spirals from her mouth)
CHRISTINE: What are you doing? I thought you gave that up ten years ago. Why do you wanna go back again?!
MARY BETH: It happens.
CHRISTINE: What the devil made you do it?!
MARY BETH: I had this carton, don't ask me how, and Saturday, I don't know, things got tense between me and Harve and it happened. I was all tensed up again.
CHRISTINE: I thought everything was OK with him.
MARY BETH: The doctor set him on a low fat diet. Exercise. Stress reduction. Pilates.
CHRISTINE: It's hard to change your whole life.
CHRISTINE: Worth life or death, Christine?
CHRISTINE: I gave up drinking.
MARY BETH: Yeah, well, you're not human.
CHRISTINE: You're the one who just had a cancer stick in her mouth! Give him time, Mary Beth. It'll probably be for the best.
MARY BETH: Christine, tell me the truth. Am I gonna get laid off?
CHRISTINE: I swear, I don't know. It's Feldberg's call. ...The truth. Pretty good chance. ...But I'm gonna do anything I can to help you.
MARY BETH: (as she leaves) Right.
CHRISTINE: (into phone) I just wanted the printout! Don't be so stupid and get the information on the Mayor's projection to me!!.
MARY BETH: (putting a file on Chris's desk) I was right, Christine. The man from the liquor store is lying. That is a report of a car break-in exactly like Chance Tucker described.
CHRISTINE: Did you finish the code offenders' list?
MARY BETH: I gave it to Feldberg this morning. I asked for a report on thefts from sports cars in that neighbourhood, and there it is, only two blocks away.
CHRISTINE: The guy says he lost five hundred and forty dollars, a video recorder, two suits, a cellphone. The list goes on and on! The guy only stole fifty dollars.
MARY BETH: The guy is scamming his insurance agent.
CHRISTINE: So you say.
MARY BETH: How could a guy only take fifty dollars and it not be deductible? So this guy, Jamieson, decides to turn it into a windfall.
CHRISTINE: Or it is completely unrelated car burglary!
MARY BETH: Read the report, Christine. I'm telling you we've got the wrong man. You know, I would like to go and interview the car owner. What is his name? Jamieson. ...If that's OK with you, boss?
CHRISTINE: Mary Beth, this guy is not gonna cop out to insurance fraud! And I'm sure that Feldberg has better things for you to do with your time.
MARY BETH: Mr. Feldberg has better things for me to do than solve a murder and free an innocent man?
CHRISTINE: All right. Great! it's your job I'm trying to protect, but hey, obviously you know better.
(Mary Beth smiles and as she goes out through the door)
MARY BETH: See ya tomorrow.
(in the evening Chris pulls up opposite the liquor store. Jacques has just closed and locked the grille)
CHRISTINE: Excuse me. Police. You spoke to my associate, Mrs. Lacey, about Chance Tucker.
JACQUES: It's late, madam.
CHRISTINE: Listen, I won't keep you long. I just wanna ask you one question. Did you sell him the Scotch?
JACQUES: I already told the other lady, 'No'.
CHRISTINE: I know what you told her, but what I wanna hear is the truth.
JACQUES: The truth? The truth is I see Chance Tucker every day. He tries to beg enough money for food to keep him alive and a bottle to keep him warm. At least now he'll be taken care of.
CHRISTINE: You see, I'm not a very patient woman. One more time. Did you sell Chance Tucker an expensive bottle of Scotch which he paid for with a fifty-dollar bill?
JACQUES: All I can think is, if I could, I would help an innocent man.
CHRISTINE: You think Tucker's innocent?
JACQUES: I'm afraid I cannot help.
CHRISTINE: What are you afraid of? Immigration? What if I agree with Immigration not to detain you if you testify.
JACQUES: In my experience to be safe it is best not to draw attention to oneself.
CHRISTINE: Fine. I'm gonna slap you with a subpoena.
JACQUES: I'll ignore the subpoena?
CHRISTINE: Well then I'll have you thrown into protective custody.
JACQUES: Then I will testify in court to the same thing I told to your associate. That I remember nothing.
CHRISTINE: (Chris laughs and smiles) OK, mister, you win. But just between the two of us, I need to know, is Chance guilty of murder?
JACQUES: As I said, if I could, I would help ...this ...innocent man. Now, good night, madam. And be careful. There are many undesirables in this neighbourhood at night.
MARY BETH: (putting her head round the door) Lieutenant, could I talk to you for a minute?
MARY BETH: Christine, you have to help me with this Chance Tucker thing.
CHRISTINE: Mary Beth, you already turned the information over to Feldberg. He says it's the local Precinct to look into it.
MARY BETH: But they already have a suspect. It's gonna land up at he bottom of the pile, Chris. I wanna do this with you.
CHRISTINE: He's already given you another assignment.
MARY BETH: It's another list to compile. I will it tonight if you help me with this here.
CHRISTINE: Mary Beth, I went and I talked to the clerk at the liquor store.
MARY BETH: (sitting down) Really. Why did you do it?
CHRISTINE: I thought it was worth another look.
MARY BETH: And...
CHRISTINE: And ..he hinted, maybe, that Tucker was telling the truth.
MARY BETH: You see! (drawing her chair round beside Chris's) Now you put that together with the theft from the sports car.
CHRISTINE: Mary Beth, assuming it is the same sports car, you can't prove anything. All you've got is suspicions about one guy, a wink and a nod from another!
MARY BETH: Let me ask you something. What was your first instinct about this case? That the tenants at the co-op had a damn good motive. Right? It's all too pat, Christine. It's like that movie. The one... You know the one. With ...Spencer Tracy with the one arm. And he goes into this tiny little town.
CHRISTINE: "Bad Day at Black Rock".
MARY BETH: Exactly. Now, I'm asking, if we were back to the Fourteenth Precinct out on the streets...
CHRISTINE: Which we're not!! And your job is on the line here.
CHRISTINE: Are you still worrying about my job?! ...and this case came up in a normal location, what would you say about it then?
CHRISTINE: You know, I've got very important things to do. The Mayor is waiting for a projection from me and I have a speech to write which I am giving on Saturday.
MARY BETH: What would you say, Chris?
CHRISTINE: I would say that you should talk to people at the co-op.
MITZI GLASS: (chaining a plant pot to a pole) After Ira's throat operation we decided to sell the co-op, but we can't, all because of that Earl Yeager. Oh, we were very angry.
IRA GLASS: (in a croaky voice) Very. I think that he's got a gun.
(Mary Beth looks interested. Chris is there)
MITZI GLASS: Six months ago it went off accidentally in the apartment above us one night. Scared the stuffing out of me! Now there's nothing left to irritate. Now that that Earl Yeager is dead. That bald-headed ape! He killed the old shrubs by urinating on them.
MARY BETH: Mrs. Glass, you were chaining that planter there to the pole.
MITZI GLASS: Round here you never know who's gonna have a crack at it. That's why we wanna leave New York.
IRA GLASS: Mitzi, we'll be no better off in Fort Lauderdale than we will be almost everywhere else!
MITZI GLASS: Ira, we are going to Fort Lauderdale when we sell the co-op and that's all there is to it!!
(sounds familiar to Chris)
(Paul Coster is walking his dog)
MARY BETH: Mr. Coster, did you have any special problems with Earl Yeager?
PAUL COSTER: We all had our problems.
CHRISTINE: The Glasses said about guns? Did you buy a gun, Mr. Coster?
PAUL COSTER: A gun? I can't own a gun. My wife, ...she died.
MARY BETH: Well, we're very sorry to hear that, sir.
PAUL COSTER: Ten years ago. But I was in a hospital. An institution. So with a history of post-depression, no gun owning. Probably just as well. He didn't do it, you know.
MARY BETH: Who? Chance Tucker?
PAUL COSTER: He didn't kill Earl Yeager.
CHRISTINE: Mr. Coster, if you know something, it's important that you tell us.
PAUL COSTER: It's just a feeling. You've had that kind of feeling, haven't you?
CHRISTINE: Well, if Tucker didn't do it, then who did? Who killed him?
PAUL COSTER: It could have been a lot of people. I just know it wasn't Chance Tucker.
MARY BETH: Excuse me, Lieutenant, this here is not the same part where you found the body, is it?
CHRISTINE: No, that part's in the other direction from the building on the far corner.
MARY BETH: Do you wanna walk the dog over there? It's so much closer
PAUL COSTER: A nice day like this? Jade likes a longer walk. Besides I can use the exercise.
MARY BETH: (driving) So what have got? We've got the Glasses who said they didn't hear or see anything.
CHRISTINE: We got Coster who says he was having dinner in his apartment that night. What is the name of that other tenant? Romeo something.
(Chris is using her compact mirror and lipstick)
MARY BETH: Romeo DeCarlo. He's a lawyer. He lives in the penthouse.
CHRISTINE: Romeo DeCarlo! Can you imagine parents sticking you with a name like that. Can you see a pimple?
MARY BETH: Where?
CHRISTINE: Right there!. (pointing to her lower cheek as Mary Beth looks) There!!
MARY BETH: Where? I don't see anything.
CHRISTINE: There!!! Its eczema.
MARY BETH: (pointing) Oh, there it is.
CHRISTINE: (looking closely with the mirror) Where?
MARY BETH: It's a little... I can hardly see it.
CHRISTINE: It's there. It's coming on this weekend this weekend and I've gotta speech...
MARY BETH: There comes a time in a woman's life...
CHRISTINE: I don't wanna hear that! (they are stuck in traffic. To a squeegee man spraying the windscreen) Excuse me! Go away!!
MARY BETH: (giving the man a coin) There you go.
SQUEEGEE MAN: God bless you, lady.
CHRISTINE: If you give him money like that, it merely reinforces his behaviour.
MARY BETH: It's my money, if I wanna give it away.
CHRISTINE: He wouldn't need to beg if he got work.
MARY BETH: They only do that because they're homeless.
CHRISTINE: It's a scam, Mary Beth! He's gonna go and spend it on booze and drugs.
MARY BETH: Yes! I can also tell you that a lot of hard-working, decent people who are down on their luck.
CHRISTINE: Well, fine. Let them take the jobs that illegal aliens fill!
MARY BETH: Minimum wage or less.
CHRISTINE: There is no reason why anyone in this country should go hungry.
MARY BETH: Fine. Tell that to the President the next time you see him.
CHRISTINE: Mary Beth, I need to tell you, I didn't intend to, about the job situation and how it affects you.
MARY BETH: I don't wanna talk about it, Christine.
CHRISTINE: I told you that I would... You do not have to worry about money.
MARY BETH: Thank you. I don't wanna talk about it.
CHRISTINE: Mary Beth, I wasn't...!!
MARY BETH: I wanna do my job, Christine, and my job right now is to go and talk to Sunny Kim.
(Chris opens her mouth and decides not to say anything)
(a store keeper, Sunny Kim Play, throws out a youth out from the store)
SUNNY KIM PLAY: Out! Get out, you lazy good-for-nothing!
FORMER EMPLOYEE: Hey, man!
SUNNY KIM PLAY: You're useless! I tell you 'Once more'. And now I tell you the last time. 'Out!.
FORMER EMPLOYEE: Yeah?! What the hell you doing, you stupid gook?!
MARY BETH: (coming up and pointing away from the store) Hey! Take it easy!
CHRISTINE: (to the store keeper) Mr. Play?
SUNNY KIM PLAY: Yes, lady.
MARY BETH: District Attorneys' Investigators, Mr. Play. We need to talk to you about Earl Yeager.
SUNNY KIM PLAY: I don't have time to talk. I just fire a my lazy, good-for-nothing help.
MARY BETH: Yes sir. We saw that.
CHRISTINE: (following him into the store) Mr. Play.
CHRISTINE: Mr. Play. Could you just...
SUNNY KIM PLAY: When I came to this country, I worked eighteen hours. I sleeped in my store until I saved enough money to bring my wife from Korea, find an apartment. Now I cannot find a good help. I still must work fifteen hours every day. I must wear this flak jacket to protect me from murder.
CHRISTINE: Mr. Play, Earl Yeager,...
SUNNY KIM PLAY: (his wife has joined him) That bastard!!! He scare my wife. She never leave the apartment alone. Never! What kind of country is this!! You let that crazy man out on the streets!
MARY BETH: Mr. Play, please try and calm down. We have a few questions, that's all.
SUNNY KIM PLAY: (having reassured his wife and sent her away) I don't talk to police. They get everything backwards. Do you know what happened to me? I send for the police. And then you fight me. He break my arm. A police officer. Do you want to know? Me. They take me to court. They make me pay a thousand dollars.
CHRISTINE: Mr. Play, The Precinct report said you saw Earl Yeager the day he was killed.
SUNNY KIM PLAY: Going for lunch. I come back here. He yell at me. Four times say he kill me. I call police. No one ever come. But that night, they find the body. They come see me, all right. They think I killed him. You police don't like Koreans. Then they find Chance Tucker.
So better! Blame black man, not Korean man! Do you know what I think? I think Chance Tucker is a hero. Give him medal, give him reward. It's a damn shame you've put him in a jail!
(he walks away)
[Laceys' Dining room]
(Harvey is looking at a filled roll)
MARY BETH: These veggie burgers are pretty good, don't you think so, Alice?
HARVEY: In my opinion it tastes like sawdust.
MARY BETH: I think it's toastful.
HARVEY: What's toastful? Don't tell me. You got any cheese? Maybe cheese'll help.
MARY BETH: (as he gets up) Harve!
HARVEY: A little cheese isn't gonna kill me, Mary Beth. (from the fridge in the kitchen) Are you talking to Feldberg about Chance Tucker tomorrow?
MARY BETH: Er... I'm working on it. OK, Harvey?
ALICE: Have you got any more evidence on Chance?
MARY BETH: Well, I don't think he did it, sweetheart. That's why I'm gonna talk to the boss.
ALICE: I think anybody who was talking to Chance did it.
MARY BETH: Alice Christine, that is not true! There's... There's little children even...
HARVEY: It's not a simple thing, pumpkin.
MARY BETH: There's an expression, there but for the grace of God go you or I. Do you know what that means?
ALICE: I'm just telling what Jennifer's mum said on the way to school yesterday.
MARY BETH: Well, I think that Jennifer's mum is a little short-sighted. (to Harvey) So you and Jennifer's mum are walking to school every day? Is this the start of neighbourhood scandal or something?
ALICE: He doesn't walk. I go with Jennifer. She's on her way to work in the morning.
MARY BETH: Harvey, that's how you said you getting your exercise?
HARVEY: Yeah. I'll start again tomorrow. OK?
MARY BETH: (after a pregnant pause, to Alice, who is looking at her veggie burger) We'll keep trying things until we find something we like.
(Mary Beth takes a bite from hers)
(to herself, in bed, reading from her speech)
CHRISTINE: 'Recent surveys in America showed the most pressing problems in the majority of cases is the highest incidence of crime. If you look at the percentage of citizens too afraid to leave their homes and walk the streets at night' (adding in) ...or ...even ...in ...the ...daytime.., (she scrubs a section out, slaps her pencil down and picks up a mirror and inspects her face. She picks up the phone and dials. Into the phone) Yes. James Burton's room, please. ...Oh. OK. Well just tell him his wife called. ...Thank you.
(Mary Beth follows Chris as she rushes out of a store)
MARY BETH: Would you take it easy here, Chris. I can't drink coffee at home anymore and now you're hustling me out of that joint at eight minutes to eight in the morning.
CHRISTINE: This is your big project, Mary Beth, not mine. You wanna get it done, let's do it!
MARY BETH: (as Chris unlocks the car) All right, but am I to presume there's more going on here than meets the eye?
CHRISTINE: You mean (holding up a leaflet) 'Menopausal Fat'?
MARY BETH: That is not from me.
CHRISTINE: Well, whoever did it, it is not funny!! Now may I suggest, that we divi up your list. I will take one half, you take the other.
MARY BETH: I'll take the half that doesn't eat for breakfast.
(they get in the car)
REBINA LEWIS: (daughter) He's dirty. He's got some very bad, nasty things he does.
CHRISTINE: I'm so sorry, Rebina.
ALCINE LEWIS: (mother) We already went through this with the police that night.
CHRISTINE: I understand, but sometimes we have to check.
[Roy Osmond's lounge]
ROY OSMOND: I'm a physical coward, Mrs. Lacey. Since I was a boy I was bullied. I bribed Earl Yeager to leave me alone.
MARY BETH: The denim jacket Yeager had. The one that was covering Chance Tucker when he was found.
ROY OSMOND: It was mine. He demanded it from me a few days before he was ...killed.
CHRISTINE: Now, about that night.
REBINA LEWIS: We didn't see anything. We watched TV all evening long.
ALCINE LEWIS: First thing we knew about the murder was when the police came. And the last time that I saw Earl Yeager was that afternoon.
CHRISTINE: You said he threatened you?
ALCINE LEWIS: I was just outside when he jumped out from between two cars, he grabbed my purse, took the fifty dollars that I had in it and threw my wallet into the middle of traffic.
[Roy Osmond's lounge]
MARY BETH: And did you ever call the police, Mr. Osmond?
ROY OSMOND: Please, Mrs. Lacey, the police response to this whole affair has been pathetic. And for me complain to the police? In my experience most police have absolutely no use for a gay man in our society.
CHRISTINE: (comes in) Sorry, Mr. Osmond, your door was ajar. I'm Lieutenant Cagney-Burton. (shaking his hand) I've just been talking to Mrs. Lewis across the hall. I just have one question which nobody seems to be able to answer and I wonder if you could help me. Chance Tucker is accused of killing Earl Yeager for, among other things, fifty dollars which was found on his person. But nobody seems to be able to help me with how Mr. Yeager got the fifty dollars to begin with.
ROY OSMOND: Er, well, I gave it to him, actually. He had threatened me that morning and he demanded money, so I gave him what I had. Fifty dollars. (the bell goes) Er, would you excuse me for a moment?
MARY BETH: (getting up) Chris,...
CHRISTINE: Alcine Lewis just volunteered that Yeager stole the money from her purse.
MARY BETH: But Tucker said he took it from the car.
CHRISTINE: And talking to the Glasses, they said they gave him the money. And now Osmond gave him the money.
ROMEO DeCARLO: (coming in with Osmond) Ladies. You must be Lieutenant Cagney-Burton, I believe. (shaking her hand and then Mary Beth's) Mrs. Lacey. I'm Romeo DeCarlo, attorney-at-law.
MARY BETH: Yes sir. Mr. DeCarlo, you live in the penthouse and Earl Yeager vandalised your Mercedes.
ROMEO DeCARLO: 'Vandalised' That's a nice juicy word. How about 'trashed'? How about 'demolished'? He was a deranged lunatic!
CHRISTINE: Mr. DeCarlo,...
ROMEO DeCARLO: You've already got the lunatic's killer. Why are you harassing my neighbours?
CHRISTINE: The murder's a continuing investigation, Mr. ...DeCarlo.
ROMEO DeCARLO: Fine. I'm acting as their attorney and I'm advising them not to talk to you. (to Osmond) Roy, I suggest you say nothing to them. Absolutely nothing.
CHRISTINE: Why?!! But he already has!!
ROMEO DeCARLO: (speaking in a Mafia gangster style) We've been through enough already. Five years of Earl Yeager's tyranny. Five years of absolute police indifference and ineptitude. (in his own voice) Have we not we suffered enough! Can you not just leave us in peace!!!
CHRISTINE: You're staring at it.
MARY BETH: What?!
CHRISTINE: My spot.
MARY BETH: You can barely notice it.
CHRISTINE: You can notice it. I haven't had a spot since I was seventeen years old.
MARY BETH: You heard what I said, Christine.
CHRISTINE: I don't wanna hear about menopause.
MARY BETH: Fine! I don't know what I'm talking about. I never do.
CHRISTINE: Hot flushes, insomnia, diminished libido. Why don't they just take me out and shoot me?
MARY BETH: It'll pass. Do you think we've got enough for Feldberg it now?
CHRISTINE: Unless a stockbroker testifies that Earl Yeager bought a hundred and fifty, two hundred dollars of APP the day he was killed, then Chance Tucker's innocent. Those tenants are framing him.
MARY BETH: Come on! Mr. Feldberg should listen to us now.
[Criminal Court building entrance hall}
FELDBERG: The case is closed. We copped a plea.
CHRISTINE: But you can't do that. He's innocent!
FELDBERG: Oh, no, not you too, Cagney. Don't either of you have any real work to do?
MARY BETH: Mr. Feldberg, we can prove Chance Tucker is innocent.
FELDBERG: Look he stood up in a court of law this morning and freely and voluntarily confessed and plead guilty to murdering Earl Yeager and frankly that's good enough for me.
MARY BETH: So an innocent man goes to prison for the rest of his life!
FELDBERG: Lacey, he says he did it! He was drunk at the time, so I let him plea for manslaughter which means he'll be out in five years, during which time he'll get three meals a day and a warm place to sleep. And that's a hell of a lot better than he was doing out on the streets.
MARY BETH: And it doesn't matter that he's not guilty? There's an actual murderer that's out there on the streets some place still!
FELDBERG: OK. Fine. Who? If it's not Tucker then who did it?
CHRISTINE: The tenants claim that Yeager was harassing them. They did it. And they pinned it on Tucker.
CHRISTINE: Yes sir.
FELDBERG: What? All of them together? What is this? "Murder on the Orient Express" or maybe we could narrow it down a little bit.
CHRISTINE: We're not sure but basically we have ...six suspects.
FELDBERG: Oh. Great. One confessed killer is sufficient. Thank you. Six suspects does me no good at all. Ladies, this case is closed. (tuning to leave and then turning back) Oh, Lacey, I wanna see you in my office tomorrow. Set it up with my secretary when you get back.
MARY BETH: Yes sir. (to Chris) I'm gonna go get some air.
CHRISTINE: Could you kind of hurry it up a bit. I've got better things to do with my time than sitting around Rikers!
RIKERS GUARD: The prisoner's still at breakfast. Be about twenty minutes.
CHRISTINE: He's at breakfast. I should be doing those projections for the Mayor. I better get some sensible shoes for the beat if they're gonna have me walking. When do you see Feldberg?
MARY BETH: Ten-thirty.
CHRISTINE: Are you nervous?
MARY BETH: I'll tell you it's something that I expect already. If he lays me off I'll get another job, that's all.
CHRISTINE: You did great for me, Mary Beth.
MARY BETH: So how is James? When's he coming in?
CHRISTINE: Well, funny you should ask. I got home last night and he was there waiting for me.
MARY BETH: Ah.
CHRISTINE: Yeah. We've been invited to the White House for dinner, Saturday night
MARY BETH: No!
MARY BETH: That's fantastic, Christine.
CHRISTINE: I'm supposed to be giving a speech Saturday night at the Patrolwoman's Endowment Dinner. Remember?
MARY BETH: You hate making speeches anyhow. What are you gonna wear?
CHRISTINE: I told him I couldn't go.
MARY BETH: This is the White House, Christine, not some reservation at the Rainbow Room.
CHRISTINE: He knew I had this thing. His whole attitude was 'Big deal'. You know, 'Big deal' was all he could say about a caucus of ladies. He dabbles in politics! When my career arises, I get a little pat on the head. Thank you!
MARY BETH: Christine, sometimes, in marriage, you have to bend a little, like a tree.
CHRISTINE: Well, I don't mind bending a little ...like a tree. I just mind being ...twisted like a pretzel! It not just this dinner. Do you know what he wants me to do !!! He wants me to quit the Force, move to Washington and network. Do you love that?! Network with the pretty people and lobby for a job in Administration!
MARY BETH: That doesn't sound so terrible.
CHRISTINE: I object to these people, Mary Beth! Besides, Presidents come and go. What kind of security is that for me?
MARY BETH: You get marriage, Christine, that's the security.
CHRISTINE: Well, you tell that to the fifty percent of wives in this country who get fired.
RIKERS GUARD: Lieutenant
RIKERS GUARD: Lieutenant, ma'am, you can go in now.
EARL YEAGER: Harvey Lacey?
MARY BETH: You worked in construction with him about ten years ago. (no response) Oh, that's OK. I also saw your friend, Gloria. She tells me she 's still living at the shelter and she's doing OK.
EARL YEAGER: Gloria Seeley. I'm glad to hear she's OK. You got a smoke?
MARY BETH: Yeah. (giving a cigarette from the pack in her handbag) Mr. Tucker, do you remember being in court yesterday? You plead guilty to killing Earl Yeager. ...Did you kill him?
EARL YEAGER: I guess.
CHRISTINE: What do you mean, 'You guess'?
EARL YEAGER: Everybody there says so, so I guess I did.
MARY BETH: Do you really think you did?
EARL YEAGER: I don't remember. When I'm drinking, there's a lot of stuff I don't remember. Now old Mr. Jenkins, he let me sweep up the bar in the morning. Ten bucks. He gave it to me in advance. Tell him, ...when I get one of those prison jobs, I'll send it back to him.
CHRISTINE: Chance, did you steal fifty dollars from a car?
EARL YEAGER: Who told you that? Did Gloria tell you that?
CHRISTINE: She was trying to help you.
EARL YEAGER: I'm no thief, I swear it, but I needed a drink. It's all I could think of. And I saw this car with the window wide open. Wallet on the seat. So I just took the fifty out. Listen, I'm sorry. If you can find out who it is, tell him I'll send his money back to him too. Only it'll take a little longer. Do you think you could spare a few more of those smokes?
MARY BETH: OK.
CHRISTINE: Look, (taking the pack from Mary Beth) take the pack.
(Chris gives Mary Beth a smile)
MARY BETH: Well, what do we do now?
CHRISTINE: You tell me. He said he had no one coerce him into pleading guilty. I don't think there's anything we can do. Hey, what were you doing with cigarettes in your bag?
MARY BETH: I told you I had a carton.
CHRISTINE: You know how bad those are for anyone, especially if they've had breast cancer.
MARY BETH: Thank you. I'm not smoking 'em. They poison you.
CHRISTINE: I'll believe you. But thousands wouldn't.
[DA Investigators' office]
(Mary Beth gets a cigarette out)
SECRETARY: It's non-smoking in here.
MARY BETH: I'm aware of that, thank you. Do you have the correct time?
SECRETARY: A little before ten.
MARY BETH: How little?
SECRETARY: (looking at her watch) Four or five minutes. See you at ten-thirty.
[Outside the DA's building]
(Mary Beth is sitting having a cigarette. Chris comes out, sees the cigarette and sits down beside her. Mary Beth throws the cigarette away)
CHRISTINE: So? ...Tell me, what did he say?
MARY BETH: I went to his office at ten-thirty and his secretary said that the meeting had been postponed to next week. After calling me specially. If he's gonna lay me off, why doesn't he just do it?
CHRISTINE: Mary Beth, I...
MARY BETH: I'm just wondering what's gonna happen when I tell Harvey.
CHRISTINE: You haven't told him?
MARY BETH: He's depressed enough. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it.
CHRISTINE: I shouldn't tell you, but Feldberg said he's gonna work the budget around so it will be OK. And I ...think you're worrying about nothing. (as Mary Beth gets out a cigarette pack. Chris puts her hand out to stop her) I'll tell you what, why don't I buy you a nice lunch?
MARY BETH: (putting the pack back and getting up) I'll tell you what I'd prefer. I'd prefer to go back to that co-op and we'll give it one more chance.
CHRISTINE: What are we gonna get we didn't get last time?
MARY BETH: I don't know.
[Outside the co-op building]
MARY BETH: (into the doorphone) Mrs. Glass, all we want is a few words with you.
MITZI GLASS: I'm sorry, but Mr. DeCarlo was very definite. We shouldn't talk with you.
CHRISTINE: So, ...The offer for lunch is still open.
CHRISTINE: (as they turn to go) Ah! Mr. DeCarlo! I see someone here must have called you. You've trained them very well. No one in the building will talk to us unless you're present.
ROMEO DeCARLO: Call me Romeo.
ROMEO DeCARLO: I'll tell you, I'm gonna tell you again for the record. No one here saw anything that night and no one heard anything. Not until the police came and harassed Mr. Play.
MARY BETH: Nobody's harassing anybody, Mr. DeCarlo.
ROMEO DeCARLO: No? What would you call it when you've already got a confessed killer awaiting sentence.
CHRISTINE: I'd call it 'Looking at other possibilities'.
ROMEO DeCARLO: You're harassing us!! We the people come together as a society. We pay you police for protection so we can trade vigilantism for the rule of law. When that social contract breaks down then we as individuals have the right to protect ourselves!
MARY BETH: I'm not sure I understand you. Are you saying you have the right murder somebody?
ROMEO DeCARLO: You say that again I'll sue you for slander. Chance Tucker is a confessed killer. No one in this building saw or heard anything that night. End of discussion. ...Lieutenant, I was thinking you and I could get together tonight. A more conducive environment.
CHRISTINE: Say that again and I'll sue you for slander.
MARY BETH: Good day, Mr. DeCarlo.
ROMEO DeCARLO: (shouting after them) Come on, Lieutenant! I'll tell you why my Mumma named me Romeo!
CHRISTINE: (shouting back) Maybe she was hoping you'd poison yourself!
(DeCarlo smiles and licks his lips)
MARY BETH: One of those people killed Earl Yeager. One of those nice, normal people murdered another human being in cold blood. And they framed another one without... Harve, what would you say if I just gave it up?
HARVEY: Chance Tucker didn't do it, Mary Beth, you can't give up on it.
MARY BETH: No, I don't mean that. This whole... This Investigator thing, it gets me so sad sometimes, Harve. Maybe I should be doing something else.
HARVEY: That's great. How are we gonna get by?
MARY BETH: We'll get by.
HARVEY: How?!!! I can't work! Nobody is gonna hire me, and who's gonna give you a job that pays like this?!
MARY BETH: Don't worry about that? (Alice runs in) Hey, sweetheart. (embracing Alice) Come here, give me some, sugar. How was school?
ALICE: It was OK. What's for dinner?
HARVEY: I got a chicken in the oven.
MARY BETH: Did you remember to take the skin off?
HARVEY: I'll take it off later.
MARY BETH: Harvey, you're supposed to take the skin off first so... (Harvey stares ay her) OK. Whatever. It's not a big deal. Oh, I found this guided meditation for stress reduction. I thought we could do it together. Lord knows, I could do with it too.
HARVEY: Alice is hungry. I'm gonna get the dinner.
MARY BETH: Well, OK. After dinner. I mean, Where do you do it to meditate? On the floor, in the chair?
HARVEY: I'm watching TV tonight. We'll do it some other time. OK?
MARY BETH: OK.
[Patrolwoman's Endowment Dinner]
MARTHA CRUICKSHANK: (coming up to Chris) Hi.
MARTHA CRUICKSHANK: I'm Martha Cruickshank and this is Bob Hilliard.
CHRISTINE: How do you do?
MARTHA CRUICKSHANK: We're with the Mayor's Office.
CHRISTINE: Oh, it's nice to meet you. I'm Christine Cagney-Burton.
BOB HILLIARD: Yes we know who you are. Er, may I get you a drink?
CHRISTINE: Please. A club soda.
BOB HILLIARD: (to a waiter) Scotch rocks, white wine and a club soda, please.
MARTHA CRUICKSHANK: We were asked to talk to you.
CHRISTINE: Really. By whom?
BOB HILLIARD: Er, there are rumours that you have ambitions to become Police Commissioner, Lieutenant.
CHRISTINE: Well, I honestly hadn't thought about it in a long time.
MARTHA CRUICKSHANK: Since getting married, you mean? Are you going to be moving to Washington with your husband?
BOB HILLIARD: We don't mean to be intrusive but nobody wants to back a horse who's planning on bolting the barn.
CHRISTINE: Oh, no, of course, please, I want to know. New York is my home. Washington's just a weekend thing. (taking the drink) Thank you. And I'm very open to anything that you have in mind.
BOB HILLIARD: Well, then here's to the future, Lieutenant. ...Whatever it may bring.
CHRISTINE: (as they clink glasses) I'll drink to that.
(Mary Beth and Harvey arrive)
MARY BETH: That's not a bad turnout. Are you OK, honey?
HARVEY: Yeah, I'm just feeling stuffed in this suit.
MARY BETH: You look great, Harvey. You took off a few pounds since the last time that you wore it.
HARVEY: Would you not remind me of that, Mary Beth. Next time I wear a suit I'm gonna be dying in it.
MARY BETH: You're doing great, Harve. Doctor's gonna be very happy with you at your next visit.
HARVEY: Doctor's gonna say exactly what he always says.
MARY BETH: (as Harvey strides on in) Harve, I'm gonna go to the Ladies room.
(Mary Beth is having a cigarette. Chris comes in)
CHRISTINE: I thought you'd stop!
MARY BETH: Don't start with me, please!
CHRISTINE: What are you so temperamental for? Oh, wait, I know. Menopause.
MARY BETH: Oh, that's funny, Christine.
MARY BETH: If you're starting your speech with a joke, I hope it's that one. Or you could try this one. It affects everything. The Chance Tucker exposé.
CHRISTINE: Mary Beth, I'm doing everything that's humanly possible. (holding up her notes) Now did you know, according to a national survey ninety percent of the public are afraid of dying. (wafting with her notes) I was gonna practise my speech before you smoked the place out!
MARY BETH: Is James here?
CHRISTINE: Oh, that's funny. Oh well, I should be out there smoozing it anyway.
[Patrolwoman's Endowment Dinner]
MARY BETH: And she says 'That's human nature'. (to a waiter putting her main dish in front of her) Oh. thank you. (as the waiter puts Harvey's in front of him) Oh, excuse me, but he wanted a steak, not the roast beef.
HARVEY: (to the waiter) I'll eat the roast beef, thank you.
MARY BETH: Well, if you cut the fat of, I suppose it you can have it.
WAITER: (to Harvey) Would you care for some butter and sour cream and chives with your steak?
MARY BETH: (to the waiter) No butter, no sour cream, the chives are OK.
HARVEY: I'll take the whole shebang, thank you.
MARY BETH: (as he butters a roll) Harve, what are you doing. You know that is on the list.
HARVEY: Mary Beth. It's one night.
MARY BETH: Harvey, don't eat that.
(Harvey slams his hand down on the table and stands up. The room falls silent)
HARVEY: (going off) Fine. I won't.
(Mary Beth, excusing herself follows him. Chris watches from the top table)
(Mary Beth is sitting in her nightdress. Hearing Harvey come in, she wafts away the smoke from a cigarette)
MARY BETH: Did you get the babysitter home OK?
HARVEY: Of course I got the babysitter home all right. You don't have to grill me about everything.
MARY BETH: Harvey, I didn't mean it like that. You wouldn't talk to me in the car. You go raging out of Christine's party. I don't understand what's going on with you.
HARVEY: You wanna know what's going on, Mary Beth? Is that what you want? I'll tell you, Mary Beth, what's going on is, Mary Beth, you're always on my back. 'Do this, don't do that. Eat this, don't eat that'.
MARY BETH: Harvey, I'm trying to help you.
HARVEY: And you keep pushing to make love to you. I can't.
MARY BETH: I don't really push...
HARVEY: I can't stand it when you're treating me like my mother.
MARY BETH: I love you, Harvey, I want you take care of yourself. I want you to live forever.
HARVEY: Why? I can't work. I can't fool around. I can't even eat, damn it!! Who the hell wants to live like this?!!
MARY BETH: Oh, come on, sweetheart, it's not so bad.
HARVEY: The hell it's not!!! I used to have a life. This isn't a life. This is just a slower way of dieing. I feel so damn worthless lying there. I mean the only way I'm worth anything to anybody is for the damn insurance money!
MARY BETH: It's late. You're tired.
HARVEY: (as she goes) Now, who doesn't wanna talk?
MARY BETH: We'll talk in the morning, Harvey. You need the sleep...
MARY BETH: (as he follows her in) ...and I may feel better in the morning.
HARVEY: Damn it, Mary Beth. stop telling me what I'm feeling!! (as she gets into bed) I can feel any damn thing I want!!! And I don't feel like living this half a life!! I'd just as soon get it over with!!! I really would, I'd be better off dead!!! (Alice has woken up and is listening. Mary Beth goes and gets something from the bathroom) Here, this is the pills that the doctor gave me when I couldn't sleep worrying about you!! Have them when you clean your teeth and wash the whole thing down with a six-pack of beer! Here! Take the whole damn thing!! Take the whole damn box!!!
HARVEY: (pleadingly) Talk to me, Mary Beth.
MARY BETH: You won't touch me!! You don't want me!!! You don't wanna get better!!! You wanna die, go and get the beer and get it over with! (ripping bedclothes off) I'm gonna sleep on the sofa.
(she storms out with a blanket and a sheet. Harvey looks at the box of pills. Alice sinks down against her bedroom wall, crying)
(in the morning a cab arrives outside the Laceys' apartment building and Chris gets out)
(Mary Beth listens at their bedroom door. Alice opens her bedroom door hugging a doll)
MARY BETH: Good morning, sunshine.
(Alice closes the door and goes back inside. Mary Beth goes and knocks at their bedroom door)
MARY BETH: Harvey? ...Honey.
(she hears something at the apartment front door, goes and looks through the spy hole and opens the door)
CHRISTINE: (holding up a brown bag) Hi. I couldn't get you on the phone.
MARY BETH: I wasn't answering the phone.
CHRISTINE: That probably explains it. (she comes in) Some friend you are. Walking out before my speech. Fortunately I was brilliant! ...Even without your support.
(Mary Beth goes outside)
(Mary Beth is sitting having a cigarette. Chris comes out and slams the street door)
CHRISTINE: I brought Sunday breakfast.
MARY BETH: I'll eat it later, thanks. ...Don't give me that look.
CHRISTINE: OK. (sitting beside Mary Beth) What a wonderful morning. I hear there maybe rain by this evening. ...Rain's nice, don't you think?
MARY BETH: I apologise for leaving you. ...We were fighting.
CHRISTINE: I know. ...So are you OK?
MARY BETH: Other than my husband is locked in the bedroom not talking to me and I'm about to lose my job.
CHRISTINE: Yeah, well, other than that?
MARY BETH: He won't take care of himself (making a gun gesture to her head) and he hates me for nagging him.
CHRISTINE: As long as he doesn't take up drinking. That's what I took to. I can't make you stop smoking.
(Mary Beth throws the cigarette away)
MARY BETH: Oh God, Christine. Last night I tried to shock him out of it. And now I'm afraid that he'll call my bluff.
CHRISTINE: You know, Mary Beth, I really hate people who use the AA buzzwords. Do you know what struck me. You have to ...turn it over. You have to love Harvey and you have to stop controlling him. You've just put one of those out!!!
MARY BETH: See!!! It's impossible. You care about somebody. (she throws the fresh cigarette away) It's impossible to watch them hurting themselves.
MARY BETH: He won't come near me, Chris. We haven't made love... Nothing! Ever since he...
CHRISTINE: He's probably afraid of having another heart attack.
MARY BETH: Well, the doctor tells him not to be. He said it's good for the heart muscles.
CHRISTINE: Well, the doctor didn't almost die!! You have to give him more time, that's all.
MARY BETH: Yeah, all right. ...I hope so. ...Did you talk to James?
MARY BETH: Christine!
CHRISTINE: (shaking her head) You know I thought he would show up last night. Surprise me.
MARY BETH: Call him, Chris. (Chris shakes her head again) Don't let pride stand in your way. Work is great but it doesn't keep you warm at night. ...Your marriage is the most important thing, don't let anything come in front of that.
CHRISTINE: Yeah, that's what they tell us. Ever since I was a little girl. No matter how happy you are, it don't mean anything if you don't have a solid marriage. It means nothing!
MARY BETH: You go through what I have with Harvey. Where every day, God forbid, you don't know if you're gonna lose him. It puts it into perspective, Christine. Talk to him. It couldn't hurt anything. If there's some way, get yourself a house. I'm not kidding here, Christine. If you don't you'll end up sorry and lose him.
CHRISTINE: I want it to work out!! ...Its OK. Maybe I should surprise James. ...I could catch the next shuttle.
MARY BETH: Good.
CHRISTINE: I'll have to go home and get washed and if I could put on something fabulous.
MARY BETH: That's good.
CHRISTINE: Something in ivory.
MARY BETH: Perfect.
CHRISTINE: I could do that. (getting up) Do you mind?
MARY BETH: I'd love it.
CHRISTINE: Will you be OK?
MARY BETH: Yeah.
CHRISTINE: That's it. (as she goes) Keep my bagels for Harvey. Taxi!!!
(as Mary Beth comes back in, Alice is knocking at her parents' bedroom door. Mary Beth, out of sight, listens)
ALICE: Daddy! Daddy!
HARVEY [OC]: Yes, honey.
ALICE: Can I come in, Daddy?
HARVEY: (coming out) What is it, my pumpkin. Such a sad face.
ALICE: I don't want you and Mummy to get a divorce.
HARVEY: (hugging her) Oh, no, baby, We're just having a few problems, but it's no big deal. We love each other. And we just fought last night. (giving her a kiss on the top of her head) And we love you very much.
ALICE: Please don't die, Daddy. Please!
HARVEY: Oh, baby, I'm not gonna die. I'm not gonna die, sweetheart.
[Entrance to Hans Hotel, Washington]
(a cab draws up. Chris gets out)
BERNIE: (the doorman to another car which has just arrived) Welcome to the Hans hotel.
CUSTOMER: Oh, thank you.
CHRISTINE: (running into the hotel with a bunch of flowers) Hi, Bernie.
(Chris unlocks the door and goes up to the bedroom)
CHRISTINE: Honey, I'm home.
JAMES: (sitting in bed) Chris!
CHRISTINE: (seeing a table laid up) Room service.
(a woman with her head wrapped in one towel and another round her body comes in)
JAMES: Christine, please. (after both women look at one another in embarrassment, Chris puts the flowers down and turns to go) Christine!
[Entrance to Hans Hotel, Washington]
(Chris comes out and gets straight into a cab)
CAB DRIVER: Where to ma'am.
CHRISTINE: Airport, please,
(Chris is drinking coffee. Mary Beth sees Chris as she goes past the open door)
MARY BETH: How long have you been here?
CHRISTINE: A few hours. Come on, let's go.
MARY BETH: A few hours! Wait, wait, wait, it's not yet eight AM. I just wanna sit for a second and have a cup of coffee.
CHRISTINE: There's been a discrepancy in the despatch records. The night that Earl Yeager was murdered, Uniforms were despatched to the Park at exactly eleven-fourteen which, according to this, is six minutes before I stumble on the body and called nine-one-one
MARY BETH: Maybe somebody's watch was wrong.
CHRISTINE: Maybe not. Come on, you can drink that in the car.
MARY BETH: (with two coffees) Yes, boss.
[Entrance hall to Police Headquarters]
MARY BETH: So, do you want to tell me? How did it go? Was James surprised?
CHRISTINE: You could say that.
MARY BETH: (drinking the second coffee) Believe me, Christine, I think I drink too much coffee
CHRISTINE: (using a battery fan to cool her face) I couldn't get my earrings on this morning. (Mary Beth holds the fan while Chris does her earrings) I'm gonna have to get a divorce.
MARY BETH: It happens. In fifty-one point two percent of the population.
CHRISTINE: Yeah, well death happens to a hundred percent. (they both laugh) You know if all the hormones shut down at once I wouldn't have to think about marriage, Mary Beth.
MARY BETH: Well, what happened?
CHRISTINE: Nothing. Nothing that I couldn't see to. So tell me about Harve. How's Harvey?
MARY BETH: Oh, he's alive.
(they laugh again)
[Uniforms despatch room]
KAREN: Yes, here it is. The call came in through the operator at eleven-fourteen and I despatched Uniforms. Your call came in on a nine-one-one line and was recorded at eleven-twenty.
CHRISTINE: Do you have a tape of that first call?
KAREN: The nine-one-one call is automatically recorded and taped. A call that comes through the operator, it doesn't work that way.
MARY BETH: Do you remember the call?
KAREN: Are you kidding?! If I lived in Potsdam, maybe. But, here in New York, all I have is what's on the log.
MARY BETH: Well, you could write down it's a male voice.
CHRISTINE: Was there anything distinctive about the voice? Was it amplified with a voice box, accented, maybe, or maybe a little feminine?
KAREN: I would have noted anything distinctive like that. This was just your ordinary common or garden male voice.
[Outside Police Headquarters]
MARY BETH: Well, that seems to rule out Sunny Play, Roy Osmond and Ira Glass. Nobody could miss how they talked.
CHRISTINE: Well that leads us to Coster and DeCarlo. Unless, of course, you ignore the other four million men in The Naked City.
MARY BETH: Oh, come on, Chris, you and I both know that it's somebody in that co-op. They called in the murder so the police could hustle over there and pick up Chance Tucker with their carefully planted evidence.
CHRISTINE: Well, I'll go for DeCarlo. He's a criminal lawyer. He'd know the way to the operator. If anybody knew his voice wouldn't be recorded, it's him.
VAGABOND: Excuse me, have you got any spare change?
CHRISTINE: Excuse me! This is a police station, for God's sake!! (as Mary Beth gives him a dollar bill) Mary Beth, don't do that!!! You aren't helping him. He's just gonna go get a bottle.
MARY BETH: (to the bum) Get a hot meal, OK?
VAGABOND: Thank you. God bless you.
MARY BETH: They're human beings, Christine. Don't you have any compassion?!
CHRISTINE: No, I don't have any compassion. I'm angry. I'm angry because I'm not feeling human anymore. And then I'm getting mad at myself for being so hot!
MARY BETH: Gee, I think it's easier just to give 'em a buck.
MIGUEL: Yeah, ladies, how can I help you?
CHRISTINE: We'd like see the records you have on Mr. Romeo DeCarlo's car.
MIGUEL: Ah ha. Did he say it was OK?
CHRISTINE: Give us the damn records!!
MARY BETH: Please. Otherwise we'll have to get a subpoena. Or if we don't do that, we'll have to contact the IRS, who'll wanna know all about your accounting procedures and the IMS is gonna wanna know all about your hiring practices and on and on and...
MIGUEL: Hey, please, please! It's citizen's job to cooperate with the NYPD.
[Outside the underground garage]
CHRISTINE: He parked his car at exactly ten thirty-eight that night. Five minutes to walk ...that way to the Park and the co-op.
MARY BETH: That's perfect timing. That's all we needed.
CHRISTINE: Wait a minute! Do you know what that doorway is?
MARY BETH: What?
CHRISTINE: That's the doorway they found Chance Tucker sleeping in.
MARY BETH: So DeCarlo sees him on the way home.
CHRISTINE: And sees he's unconscious. (she laughs) Very convenient for a frame up, don't you think? 'Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo?'.
MARY BETH: He's got an office on West 76th.
[Romeo DeCarlo's front office]
MARY BETH: (into phone) Harvey. Harve, are you there? ...Pick up if you're there, Harve. ...OK, I hope that if you're not there that you're out walking. I need you to do something. I'm sorry... I'm sorry to go mother-henning you. I don't wanna be your mother. I wanna... Well then, Harvey, what am I supposed to do? ...I love you. Go, take a walk. (she rings off. To the receptionist) Thanks.
[Romeo DeCarlo's front office]
MARY BETH: (coming in) Sorry.
ROMEO DeCARLO: I was just telling your colleague that obviously the garage records are a mistake.
CHRISTINE: Obviously. It happens all the time.
ROMEO DeCARLO: I was having dinner with Paul Coster. Anyone who gets on a witness stand who tries to say otherwise, I'll spin 'em around so hard they don't know whether he's coming or going.
CHRISTINE: All in the pursuit of truth and justice, no doubt.
ROMEO DeCARLO: Truth?!! Truth, is I don't give a crying crap about bringing Earl Yeager's killer to so-called justice. Chance Tucker was a hero in my book. Now if you'll excuse me. I bill my time at two-fifty an hour. This inane conversation has already cost me seventy-five bucks. (he opens the office door. Mary Beth goes out. To Chris as she passes him) The offer's still...
CHRISTINE: Not a chance.
(Chris lips her lips. He licks his)
MARY BETH: (coming in) Hey? ...Anybody home?
(she checks the answer-phone. It's got her message on. She fast forwards to the next message)
ALICE: (on answer-phone) Hi, Ma, I'm up Jennifer's. Daddy said I should go there so I can stay with her. Bye, Ma.
MARY BETH: Harvey? (rushing into the bedroom) Honey!!
(she looks up)
[Roof of the Laceys' apartment building]
MARY BETH: (she rushes out on to it. There are candles. Romantic music is playing from a radio cassette player. Harvey is tending a barbecue) Harvey!
HARVEY: Do you know we used to do this at the old place? That's how it started, after a night up on the roof.
(a table is laid)
MARY BETH: Are you cooking something?
HARVEY: Something you'd like. Some leaves and some tree bark for roughage.
MARY BETH: That'll be something. I haven't eaten a crow all day.
HARVEY: Every once in a while crow is good for you.
MARY BETH: Oh, Harvey,...
HARVEY: Oh, listen to me, Mary Beth. This is hard for me giving up the way I used to live but if I don't, it's over. And I don't wanna miss any day I could have with you or our family. (they look at one another for a time) It's gotta cut both ways here, baby. If I'm gonna go healthy, then you've gotta give up those lousy cigarettes.
MARY BETH: How did you know?
HARVEY: You smell like an ashtray.
(she gets the pack out of her handbag and throws them off the roof)
HARVEY: (getting a rose off the table and giving it to her) Mrs. Lacey, for the "Seven Sinners", may I have this dance?
MARY BETH: Let me go fetch my kid.
HARVEY: (stopping her) Come here. (taking the rose off her, he puts it between his lips and they start to dance) I can't be perfect, Mary Beth.
MARY BETH: (smiling) Nobody's perfect, Harvey. ...I'm not perfect either.
HARVEY: Oh, you know that. Sometimes I think you don't.
MARY BETH: (taking the rose from his lips) What I know is ...I love you. And I wanna grow very old with you. Shall we call Alice?
HARVEY: You don't have to worry about that.
(they kiss and embrace as the tune finishes)
(it is dark. Chris is watching Paul Coster walk his dog)
CHRISTINE: (shouting after him) Mr. Coster! ...Hi. I've been waiting for you. I know you told me this isn't the park where you walk your dog. That you always go over to York Avenue. But my partner pointed out that this isn't human nature because this park is so much closer, especially on a chilly night like that.
PAUL COSTER: (to the dog) Hey, come on. Come!
CHRISTINE: So if you were here on the night that Yeager was killed you must have seen his body.
PAUL COSTER: Come on, Jade, you know how to heel. They say that dogs don't respect you unless you're stern with them. Sometimes I can never bring myself to yell at her.
CHRISTINE: I know the problem. When you were in the park, you saw Romeo DeCarlo kill Earl Yeager, didn't you?
PAUL COSTER: No.
CHRISTINE: You lied about having dinner together to cover for him, didn't you?
PAUL COSTER: I'm not covering for him.
CHRISTINE: Mr. Coster, I don't think you like what you're doing. You must be a nice person and a good friend, but I'm damn sure a selfish jerk like DeCarlo would never lie to protect you.
PAUL COSTER: Romeo DeCarlo did not kill Earl Yeager. I'm telling you the truth. (to the dog) You sure you don't wanna do your business, we're going home. Come on. ...Heel.
MARY BETH: (using two objects on the table to show relative locations side by side) OK, So we're talking of Glasses here. We're talking of Alcine Lewis and her daughter here.
CHRISTINE: Mary Beth, why don't you call personnel? Find out how much severance they're giving you if they lay you off.
MARY BETH: I already did. I'm on probation, no severance. (putting another object on top of that for the Glasses) Osmond is here and Coster talked with him.
CHRISTINE: Sorry,. Mary Beth, that was Coster in his apartment over the Glass couple.
MARY BETH: Well, that's very good, Christine. Except that Mrs. Glass says...
CHRISTINE: ...that a gun went off in the apartment above her six months ago. And Coster says that he's never owned a gun.
MARY BETH: Good, Christine. Very good.
CHRISTINE: And Coster said he didn't have a gun.
ROMEO DeCARLO: I'd like it to go on the record. Mr. Coster is speaking to you over my objection.
CHRISTINE: Fair enough. Mr. Coster, I'd like to see your gun, please.
(the dog barks and jumps up on Mary Beth)
MARY BETH: Oh, excuse me!
PAUL COSTER: Hey, Jade.
MARY BETH: No, that's OK, Could I use your kitchen?
PAUL COSTER: Of course. Of course.
ROMEO DeCARLO: I'm sorry, Lieutenant Cagney. You don't understand. Under New York State law it is illegal for Paul to own a gun.
CHRISTINE: Yeah. We spoke to the officer who responded to the firing call. He said it was an accident. That you were cleaning your gun? The officer said you seemed like a nice guy so rather than arrest you, he gave you a warning. Told you to get your gun registered.
ROMEO DeCARLO: All right, so Paul had an unregistered gun, but he doesn't have it anymore. It was stolen.
CHRISTINE: Really. So you reported it?
ROMEO DeCARLO: No, I advised him not to being it was illegal.
CHRISTINE: You know, you're such an obnoxious character, DeCarlo. It never occurred to, I expect. This kind of alibi cuts both ways. It's Coster here could be our shooter, not you.
ROMEO DeCARLO: You have no evidence connecting either one of us to any murder.
MARY BETH: (coming back in) Pardon me, Lieutenant. There's something you might wanna look at in here.
CHRISTINE: Excuse me a moment.
[Coster's dining room]
(the two men follow)
MARY BETH: Look there. (pointing at the ceiling) Right there.
CHRISTINE: Wow!! Whoever you hired to patch this should be ashamed of themself for doing such a sloppy job.
MARY BETH: There's a bullet in there, isn't there, Mr. Coster? That's human nature, just leave it in there and putty it over.
CHRISTINE: I'm betting it's the same calibre as the gun that killed Yeager.
ROMEO DeCARLO: I have nothing to say. (to Coster) You don't have to say anything,...
(Coster does a run for it)
MARY BETH: (giving chase) Coster!!!
(the others follow, including the dog)
CHRISTINE: Where's the stairs?
ROMEO DeCARLO: Straight ahead.
CHRISTINE: (to Mary Beth) You go down. I'll go up.
(DeCarlo follows Mary Beth)
ROMEO DeCARLO: Paul, let them talk to you!
CHRISTINE: Coster!!! (Coster goes and stands on the parapet) Paul!
PAUL COSTER: Please. I'm so ashamed!
CHRISTINE: Paul, please come down. And then talk to me, all right?
PAUL COSTER: I can't live with it. I can't!
CHRISTINE: Paul, tell me what happened?
PAUL COSTER: You know what happened. I killed him!
CHRISTINE: Paul, it's OK. I'm sure you had a very good reason.
PAUL COSTER: He was gonna hurt Jade. He said he was hungry. I told him I didn't have any money. He said he didn't want money. (Mary Beth and DeCarlo rush up) What he wanted was my dog. He was gonna eat my dog! Then he started to laugh. I got so angry, I was crazy. I didn't know what to say. I couldn't do anything. And then he lunged for Jade. And then something happened. I just snapped. So I reached in my jacket and I took out my gun ...and I shot him.
CHRISTINE: Did DeCarlo see you?
ROMEO DeCARLO: Don't say anything more, Paul!
PAUL COSTER: I am sorry. I am so sorry. I don't want anybody to get into any trouble. (he turns as if to jump and then falls back on the roof. Chris rushes over and smothers him) I don't wanna die. Oh, God, I don't wanna die!!
CHRISTINE: (as Coster sobs) Paul, I'm sorry, I've gotta read you your rights.
ROMEO DeCARLO: Can't you just skip it?!
CHRISTINE: Get out of my face!!!
ROMEO DeCARLO: He's got a brain tumour, for God's sake! He's only got six months to live!
PAUL COSTER: Please take care of Jade. Please take care of my poor dog.
FELDBERG: Oh, this is first rate. I've got a murderer with a terminal disease. An Obstruction of Justice indictment for half a dozen Good Samaritan neighbours, who are only trying to help out a dieing friend. Well, you've done a hell of a job, ladies. The juries will cry their eyes out and there isn't a conviction in the whole bag.
MARY BETH: With due respect, Mr. Feldberg, we've freed an innocent man.
FELDBERG: Oh, right. Right, I forgot. who's gonna be let out onto the streets and has no place to go. Another victory. Do you know what? Go! Take this ...garbage out of my office. Give it to one of the junior ADAs to process because I'm going to make a call.
MARY BETH: Mr. Feldberg. Mr. Feldberg. do you have...
FELDBERG: (to Chris) Wait a minute. I've just had an idea. Put that on McKinley's desk. He introduced me to my ex-wife. I owe that Moser one.
MARY BETH: Mr. Feldberg, there's something I need to know. Am I gonna be laid off?
FELDBERG: Thank you, Cagney. (to Mary Beth) Come back and see me later this afternoon. We'll know more then.
MARY BETH: OK.
FELDBERG: (picks up the phone) Honey. Why did you call? (to the duo) Go, go, go. (into phone) No, not you. I said I'd ring you back. I decided to ring you right now.
[Outside Feldberg's office]
MARY BETH: (heading off) If I'm gonna get fired, there's something I've gotta do.
CHRISTINE: (after her) What?
(the duo is there with Chance Tucker)
CHRISTINE: Come on, Mr. Play. The last time we were in here you said that Chance Tucker deserves a medal.
SUNNY KIM PLAY: There's a difference in giving jobs.
MARY BETH: Have you found anybody to replace the man you fired?
SUNNY KIM PLAY: No! He couldn't do it, no way!!
CHANCE TUCKER: Hey, excuse me, sir, but I think I can. When I'm not drinking, I'm an excellent worker. And when I am, well, I'm still fair.
CHRISTINE: What do have to lose? Minimum wage to start. He can sleep in the back. You said you did when you first came here.
CHANCE TUCKER: That door needs work. If you want, I can fix it.
(Tucker goes to the door)
MARY BETH: This man used to work in construction with my husband. Fifteen bucks an hour. If he's even half as good as he used to be, you've got yourself a big bargain.
SUNNY KIM PLAY: You could fix it? (Tucker nods. To the duo) OK.
MARY BETH: (to Chris) He said 'OK'.
CHRISTINE: Does that mean we can leave?
MARY BETH: OK.
(Chris waves good-bye)
(the duo are sitting on a bench)
MARY BETH: You know, if he stays sober, gets himself back working, maybe him and Gloria will be able to get married.
CHRISTINE: Hm! Yeah. The blushing bride and the bashful groom. A cardboard box and a white picket fence and they all lived happily ever after.
(Chris laughs out loud)
MARY BETH: You don't have to be so cynical.
YET ANOTHER BUM: Excuse me, ladies, but could you spare some change for a hungry man?
CHRISTINE: (handing her the snack in a bag she has on her lap) Here, I'm not hungry. (to Mary Beth) Come on. Let's go. We've gotta get back.
MARY BETH: (to the man) Listen, I'm sorry. I liked to...
YET ANOTHER BUM: Oh, No!
MARY BETH: Normally I would, but I'm probably losing my job today.
YET ANOTHER BUM: That's OK. Bless you anyway.
CHRISTINE: (comes back and hands him a dollar bill) Here.
YET ANOTHER BUM: God bless you, ma'am. You're a good person.
CHRISTINE: Huh! Thanks. (to Mary Beth as they walk away) Not one word.
[Outside the DA's building]
CHRISTINE: After Washington, I don't wanna talk to you.
JAMES: I've come all the way from Washington so you'll damn well talk to me.
CHRISTINE: You son of a bitch.
MARY BETH: Chris!
CHRISTINE: It's all right, Mary Beth. I'll talk to you inside in a few minutes.
JAMES: If you'd just come down to the White House dinner none of this would have happened.
CHRISTINE: Oh, it's my fault. You can't keep your fly zipped, so it's my fault!
JAMES: You were never gonna move down to Washington. I didn't mean enough to you for you to inconvenience yourself.
CHRISTINE: It seems to me you're less attractive to me as a victim than as an adulterer.
JAMES: You know, most women would have been thrilled to support a career move like this. Huh! But not Christine Cagney.
CHRISTINE: Oh, I get it. So real women are all about being a doormat!
JAMES: Don't give me all that feminist crap! I'm talking about our marriage here.
CHRISTINE: Oh, excuse me, Mr. Feminist Hater. You're so super. The way you talk about the holy state of marriage.
(Chris goes to walk away)
JAMES: Just answer one question for me. Why did you say 'Yes'? Why did you marry me?
CHRISTINE: What? Are you a glutton for punishment?
JAMES: I'm serious.
CHRISTINE: Because I thought I was in love with you. Silly me.
JAMES: We could do this. Give us a break. ...I love you. We're good together.
CHRISTINE: Cut the wining, will you.
JAMES: I mean it.
CHRISTINE: Because I'm good in the sack. Is that it?!
JAMES: Lately, not so you'd notice.
CHRISTINE: (she looks long and hard at him) Go to hell.
JAMES: (as Chris walks into the building) Are you saying you don't love me anymore?
CHRISTINE: (turning) I don't know. If I'm not there next weekend (starting to cry) I'll be in touch with your lawyer.
(Chris goes in)
[DA Investigtors' office]
CHRISTINE: (poking her head round the door) Feldberg wants to see us.
MARY BETH: Are you OK?
CHRISTINE: I'm fine.
(the duo comes in. Two women are there holding glasses. There are sounds of jollification)
KAREN: She's here.
(there is applause)
CHRISTINE: What's going on?
KAREN: It's Bernie's celebration.
CHRISTINE: (going across) Bernie!
BERNIE: (holding a glass) I've taken early retirement. They had to cut somebody and they made me an offer I could not refuse.
CHRISTINE: Oh right! Right!! Righty ho!!!
BERNIE: Mary Beth, have some Champagne.
MARY BETH: (to Bernie) Yes, please and congratulations. Good luck with retirement.
BERNIE: You better believe it!!
CHRISTINE: (to Bernie) Oh, that's just great.
MARY BETH: (going over to Feldberg) Oh, Mr. Feldberg,...
FELDBERG: You're not sacked.
MARY BETH: You won't be sorry.
FELDBERG: I'm not sorry.
CHRISTINE: (to Bernie, raising a glass of Champagne) Here is to your happiness. You're getting out of here. (Mary Beth comes up and they all chink glasses. To Mary Beth) And here's to your happiness. You're staying here.
(Mary Beth watches Chris nearly drain the glass)
MARY BETH: Christine.
CHRISTINE: One drink. That doesn't do anything, Mary Beth. See, I'm putting my glass on the table. And now I'm gonna go home. And congratulations.
[DA's building staircase]
(Chris is leaving)
MARY BETH: (running down the stairs after her) Christine! Stop!
CHRISTINE: I don't wanna talk about it.
MARY BETH: Christine, What did he do?! What happened?
CHRISTINE: Nothing. This is not a tragedy. Some people aren't just cut out for a white picket fence.
MARY BETH: OK, you're coming home with me. You won't wanna be alone, Chris.
CHRISTINE: That's where you're wrong, Mary Beth. That's exactly what I want.
(Mary Beth hugs her, then stands back and strokes Chris's arms and goes back upstairs. Chris leaves)