You've Come a Long Way, Baby
Original Airdate: October 26, 1987

[Lexington Avenue]

(Chris in a long wig, pink fluffy jacket, mini skirt and knee-length rust-coloured suede boots is striding along. She pauses to pull up the boots up over her knees and strides on. A man going the other way stops and looks her up and down)
CHRISTINE: What the hell are you looking at? (she stamps her foot towards his toes and he runs off. Mary Beth in a large white wig and a black fur coat comes up with two go-cups with straws and gives her one)
MARY BETH: Christine.
CHRISTINE: What?
MARY BETH: We're supposed to be the Swiss cheese. Remember? Wink at them now, don't pounce at 'em. What was wrong that one then?
CHRISTINE: Come on! Him?!! I can't see him going for a hooker for a night (indicating their clothes) in these. Would you look at us?!!! Call this a pretty sight?!
MARY BETH: It's a living.
CHRISTINE: I'm gonna kill Knelman. 'Hey, Cagney, Lacey, got one for the two of you. Somebody's been mugging middle-aged hookers'.
MARY BETH: I believe he used the word 'mature'.
CHRISTINE: Even more offensive. Just an excuse to get us out on the streets shaking off wolves!
(there is a wolf whistle)
MARY BETH: Make a wink.
(Chris gives Mary Beth her go-cup and strides off towards the whistler)
CHRISTINE: Are you looking for action or waiting for a bus?
MAN #2: Hey, what are you kidding? You're old enough to be my mother.
(he goes off past Mary Beth giving a disparaging glance)
MARY BETH: I'm sure it wasn't personal, Christine. (Chris takes her go-cup back) See you around.
(Mary Beth goes off on the direction Chris has come from)

[Late night diner]

(Mary Beth has one of her extreme high-heeled sandals off. Chris has hers legs stretched out on the bench seat)
MARY BETH: I'd say the man who invented these was into cruel and unusual punishment.
CHRISTINE: I hate to ruin your fun but 'he' was a 'she'. A Catherine de Medici. And she didn't have to work or walk.
MARY BETH: My feet aren't meant to wear hooker's shoes.
CHRISTINE: I used to pray for shoes like yours. At Barnard showing your toes was a venal sin.
MARCI BRUCKMAN: (coming in) Well, well, well! Get a load of the competition.
CHRISTINE: Yeah, well, we were thinking of taking up mud wrestling but the tips weren't so good.
MARCI BRUCKMAN: Sometimes I would feel threatened. Not tonight.
MARY BETH: I thought you were getting out of the game.
MARCI BRUCKMAN: Maybe late in the fourth quarter but my bankroll's still in motion.
CHRISTINE: You don't have to hang out with that creep. You need the trappings independence.
MARCI BRUCKMAN: Just let that creep try to get my cash. I've got a pimp, but I got spiked heels and I know where to aim. Anyway, like Chuckie always said, 'You can't sell it'. (to Mary Beth) Can I sit down there?
MARY BETH: (moving up) Sure.
CHRISTINE: Good old Chuckie! What a guy! Sort of an offbeat type.
MARCI BRUCKMAN: (to the waiter bringing her coffee and referring to her tights) This speckle-look turn you on too? At least he'd got the skin rash...
CHRISTINE: Yes, he did stand out in a crowd.
MARCI BRUCKMAN: He was quite a guy. Chuckie.
CHRISTINE: So what happened? Did you give him the gate advice, or vice versa?
MARCI BRUCKMAN: Nah. He kicked the bucket.
MARY BETH: Geeze, I'm sorry, Marci, I didn't know.
MARCI BRUCKMAN: Would you believe it. Cancer. After all the bullets he dodged. A month ago at Bellevue. Boy, dying never changed Chuckie.
CHRISTINE: Yeah, he had a way of doing things.
MARCI BRUCKMAN: You should have heard him. Confessing to me like I was some nun. In all those years it never entered my mind, because I thought he was Jewish.
CHRISTINE: Well, it's been real swell talking to you, Marci, and I'm awfully sorry about Chuckie.
MARCI BRUCKMAN: (as Chris gets up to leave) Do you remember that liquor heist when you guys first met him? The one where the owner got wasted.
MARY BETH: The arrest looked good for us.
CHRISTINE: Yeah. Until we found a bit of candy and cut him loose.
MARCI BRUCKMAN: That's the funny part. You never should of.

[Locker room]

(the duo are changing back to their normal clothes)
CHRISTINE: Mary Beth, you can't believe the word of a hood like Chuckie. He's from the alternative School of Truth.
MARY BETH: He confessed on his deathbed.
CHRISTINE: We nailed the perp, remember?
MARY BETH: Yeah, one of our first big collars. It brought us a lot of attention.
CHRISTINE: Right.
MARY BETH: (referring to the sandals) Remind me to burn these when we're through.
CHRISTINE: Yeah, you're dead right. Washington Square, wasn't it?
MARY BETH: Tompkins Square, seven years ago.
CHRISTINE: Right. Around the Fourth of July.
MARY BETH: Memorial Day weekend.
CHRISTINE: Yeah, I remember it well.
MARY BETH: Friday before it started.
CHRISTINE: I know it was hot.
MARY BETH: Yeah, it was over forty. Harvey and I were taking the kids up to the Catskills for the weekend. We had to stay late. By the time I got home late in the afternoon, Harvey Jr. was sick as a dog. Poor kid. He had a whole pound of grapes, pips included. He threw up all the way to Monticello.
CHRISTINE: Yeah?
MARY BETH: May Eighty. Poe. Lenny Poe. He got fifteen years for life.
CHRISTINE: A light sentence, if you ask me. He had priors.
MARY BETH: Yeah. And no alibi.
CHRISTINE: Chuckie did.
MARY BETH: Ah ha.
CHRISTINE: Charlie said it was an open-and-shut case right from the start. End of story.
MARY BETH: Ah ha. Harvey said 'Because you were late, that was why the boy ate all the grapes'.

[Laceys' kitchen]

(Mary Beth comes down)
HARVEY: Hey, what are you doing up?
MARY BETH: I can't sleep.
HARVEY: Well, go on back to bed. Everything's under control. Why don't you put a little sugar in there with your cereal, Michael?
MARY BETH: (coming up and putting her arms around Harvey) It's not every day (giving him a peck) I can see my beautiful family off. (Alice is whimpering. Mary Beth goes to her) Oo. Did Daddy make my angel all gorgeous? Give us a kiss. Give us a kiss.
HARVEY: (going to Alice) Frankly, babe, you're not missing anything. Just a cranky kid mouthing off at his father. (to Alice wiping her mouth) Hey, let me do this, babe.
HARVEY JR.: (coming in) I said I'm sorry. Do you want it in writing?!
HARVEY: See what I mean. Joy in the morning.
MARY BETH: Is that the way to talk to your father?
HARVEY: He's all yours.
MARY BETH: Do you have a problem, young man?
HARVEY JR.: No.
MARY BETH: Something wrong at school?
HARVEY JR.: No.
MARY BETH: What? ...What?!
HARVEY JR.: Did you get my jacket from the cleaners?
MARY BETH: I'll pick it up this afternoon before my shift.
HARVEY JR.: Then how am I supposed to wear it tonight?
MARY BETH: Gee, I don't know. Maybe you could wear your blue sweater instead.
HARVEY JR.: Oh, blue. Great! So I can go to the concert looking like a geek.
MARY BETH: You look very handsome in your blue sweater.
HARVEY JR.: Oh, come on, Mum!! Why can't you just pick it up this morning?
HARVEY: Your mother works all night, mister!!!
HARVEY JR.: Well, she's the one who took it to the cleaners in the first place.
MARY BETH: You want me to run into Manhattan, pick up your jacket, come back home, go back to Manhattan again so that you will not be forced to wear your blue sweater?
HARVEY JR.: If you don't want me to go, why don't you just say so!!!
HARVEY: (as Harvey Jr. goes to storm out) Ask me, Harvey!!!
HARVEY JR.: But it's always my fault.
MARY BETH: Sweetheart. Harvey. If something is wrong here now, you can tell me. What is it?
MICHAEL: Girl problems!
MARY BETH: Girl problems?
HARVEY JR.: (to Michael) Thanks, you little creep.
MICHAEL: (pointing to the earphones he is wearing) I can't hear you.
HARVEY: Keep out of this, Michael!
MARY BETH: Harvey, please, I'm not the enemy here, I'm your mother. If something is bothering you, I'd like to help.
HARVEY JR.: OK! You win! I ...won't ...go. You happy.
(he walks out)
HARVEY: (shouting after him) There he is! Joy in the morning!

[Detectives' Squad room]

VERNA DEE: (holding a box with her possessions in) Thanks Manny. You don't have to move. You can sit with Victor.
ESPOSITO: Get out of town! He's not my friend. You get a chance to sit next to your new partner. I get a chance to get some legroom.
ISBECKI: Heard you were working for the Commissioner for a while, Verna Dee? Did you like it
VERNA DEE: (to Corassa who is helping Esposito to move) It was enough to satisfy me.
ISBECKI: Boring. Almost like being a coach driver.
VERNA DEE: This is my first job out of uniform. I could have been left in desk seat.
COLEMAN: (coming up) I guess all that chauffeuring the Commissioner around, you must have landed up hating his guts. Huh?
VERNA DEE: He was always decent to me. Considerate. Respectful.
ISBECKI: Neurotic. Moronic.
VERNA DEE: Of course, we all have our off-days. (to Victor) Some of us more often than others.
ISBECKI: I need a fix. (looks round, turns back and forces a sweet smile and gets up and goes off) I've gotta find Samuels.
CHRISTINE: (coming up) Things going well with Isbecki?
VERNA DEE: I'm a lucky lady, Sergeant.
CHRISTINE: You have my sympathy, Detective Jordan.
ESPOSITO: (leaping up and following Chris) Hey, Sergeant, do you wanna go in the pool or not?
CHRISTINE: What pool?
ESPOSITO: How long Verna Dee lasts on the Fourteenth.
CHRISTINE: Where is Mary Beth?
ESPOSITO: Coleman gotta a thing that says two weeks. All right. But me personally I say, two to one, she's history by Friday.
CHRISTINE: Esposito, have you seen my partner or not?!
ESPOSITO: All you've gotta do is ask. She's down below.
CHRISTINE: Oh.

[File storeroom]

CHRISTINE: It's not as dirty as I remember it down here.
MARY BETH: (still in her topcoat) I got in early. So I figured I might as well do a little research.
CHRISTINE: On what, she asks, as if she didn't know. You just can't let it go, huh?
MARY BETH: I almost wish I had.
CHRISTINE: OK, Mary Beth, let me have it. Both barrels.
MARY BETH: OK. It is like we remembered it, except for one small detail.
CHRISTINE: Never mind. I'm gonna go get dressed.
MARY BETH: We caught Chuckie two blocks from the liquor store. The next day we picked up Poe. Both had robbery priors. Both fitted the description the owner gave before he died.
CHRISTINE: And Chuckie had an alibi!
MARY BETH: Yes and Lenny Poe didn't check out.
CHRISTINE: The case was a dead-banger!
MARY BETH: Except for one little detail. (showing Chris a file) The rabbit's foot that Marci told us about.
CHRISTINE: Oh, come on!
MARY BETH: Christine?!
CHRISTINE: That's it? The part of a body?! (Mary Beth picks up the file and her handbag and goes to go upstairs) Mary Beth!

[Samuels' office]

(the duo is back in hooker gear)
MARY BETH: Chuckie told Marci that he saw a rabbit's foot the cash register. And we have a rabbit's foot listed ...on the file, sir. Right here.
(Chris isn't happy)
SAMUELS: And this was never even mentioned during the Poe trial?
MARY BETH: No sir. There's only one way that Chuckie even knew it could it have existed.
SAMUELS: Well, how strong was your case against Poe.
CHRISTINE: Strong enough for a conviction, Lieutenant.
MARY BETH: Looks can be deceiving, sir. He's been inside seven years. That's a long time.
SAMUELS: I'm well versed in the er, new math, Lacey. You haven't got diddly here to take to the DA. Words of a dead felon by way of a prostitute.
CHRISTINE: Exactly what I said, Lieutenant.
MARY BETH: We wouldn't go unless we were ready, sir.
SAMUELS: And if you're right on this, there's gonna be repercussions. Unpleasant repercussions. Do you know what I'm talking about?
CHRISTINE: He's talking about back in uniform, Mary Beth?
SAMUELS: And don't forget lawsuits! Against the Department and maybe even yourselves.
MARY BETH: Understood, sir. Lenny Poe's in prison, and he maybe innocent.
SAMUELS: You've gotta do what you've gotta do.
MARY BETH: Thank you.
SAMUELS: But do it on your own time.
MARY BETH: (going out) Yes sir.
SAMUELS: Which means days, because your nights are otherwise occupied until you bring this mugger in.
MARY BETH: Yes sir.

[Detectives' Squad room]

MARY BETH: OK. First thing tomorrow we talk to Poe.
CHRISTINE: We'll have to make some noise to get to him in Maximum Security. Maybe we can arrange to stay for lunch. Maybe they've got a green room.
MARY BETH: Basil's checking right now. Maybe we should call Mrs. Poe. Let her know what is going on.
CHRISTINE: One good deed at a time, Mary Beth. We don't even know if the man is in prison.
(Isbecki and Esposito have been watching the duo in their hooker gears. They come up)
ISBECKI: Hey Cagney, what are you charging these days?
CHRISTINE: Trust me, Victor, you can't afford it.
ESPOSITO: Oh, it's a bargain at any price, Serge. Say, Mary Beth, have you worn that home yet?
MARY BETH: Every night last week, Manny.
ESPOSITO: (as Mary Beth tweaks his ear) That Harvey Lacey's a very lucky man.
MARY BETH: (tapping him on the tip of his nose) He is.
BASIL: Declaration on Poe.
MARY BETH: Yeah.
BASIL: He was at Attica.
CHRISTINE: Was?
BASIL: He died in a knife fight last April.

[Lexington Avenue]

CHRISTINE: Believe me, there was this guy as I said before.
MARY BETH: You mean that one last night with no teeth?
CHRISTINE: No. No matter what I did to turn this guy off, he just stood there ogling me like I was some ten-dollar cut of meat. You would have thought I'd got a prime cut in front of my chest.
MARY BETH: You wanna put that sample a little lower there.
CHRISTINE: (arriving back to the Squad car and talking across the car roof) So I decided that I'd had enough. So I say to him 'All right, we'll go round the corner?'. And as soon as I get out of the light, I turned around, pulled a badge in his mush. He was plain-clothes from Midtown Vice.
MARY BETH: My only chance on the Poe case is Louise Poe. Tracking her down and...
CHRISTINE: Mary Beth, he's dead. They're both dead. Will you open the door.
MARY BETH: Have you got something better to do at six minutes after two in the morning?
CHRISTINE: Sleep would be nice! Give me the key. (Mary Beth takes the keys which she has been resting on the car roof) I assume you have a plan.

[Marci Bruckman's apartment]

MARY BETH: (as Marci puts a box in front of her) That's it!
MARCI BRUCKMAN: Except for his Swiss bank account.
CHRISTINE: Did he have a phone book? Something with names in it.
MARCI BRUCKMAN: Do you want the Yellow Pages? I said he wasn't on anyone's A-list. (putting on a wig) My two AM's late. He'll be here any minute.
MARY BETH: You don't wanna put too much on, Marci. You'll be taking it off soon enough.
MARCI BRUCKMAN: No. This one stands in the closet and he hums.
CHRISTINE: (picking up a fishing rod) Is that a reduced rate? (Marci puts the rod back and goes over to Mary Beth) There's not much to this, Mary Beth? Putting on high heels and push-up bra, Then you go on a fishing expedition.
MARY BETH: Chuckie felt like investing in Marci. Maybe she's not the only one.
CHRISTINE: I thought you had a plan.
MARY BETH: Well, well, well. What have we here?
CHRISTINE: (grabbing a booklet from Mary Beth) What is it?
MARY BETH: The mourners' guest book from Chuckie's funeral.
MARCI BRUCKMAN: (taking it from Chris) What is that?
CHRISTINE: (taking it back) Mourners?!
MARY BETH: (taking it) May I? 'Marci Brockman'. But this undertaker says it's the role officers. (as Marci begins to put stuff in the box) There's a couple of other names here. (showing it to Marci) Anything ring a bell?
MARCI BRUCKMAN: I was his girl, not his Social Director. Now will you guys take a hike, I've gotta get the closet ready.
(Marci tries to take the box. Mary Beth hangs on to it. Marci leaves it alone. Mary Beth gives Chris the booklet)

[Detectives' Squad room]

COLEMAN: Well, where is she? She's a clock-watcher, makes heavy numbers on the range and never drives on inside lanes.
ESPOSITO: She's sensitive and compassionate to the needs of the fellow workers.
CORASSA: Yes, the Sergeant from Missing Persons says she never loans money.
COLEMAN: Well, in eight years of driving the Executive Commissioner around she never got stopped for a yellow.
ISBECKI: I drive! I always drive!!
COLEMAN: What's the skinny on her extra curricular?
ESPOSITO: She sang a blues number at the PBA fund-raiser. Rumour is Knelman tapped his foot.
ISBECKI: Oh, great. Singing in the car. (Verna Dee comes in humming and walks straight past them) What am I gonna do?
ESPOSITO: Oh, cheer up, Victor. Look, once I had a partner who was allergic to deodorant. And in the Summer. Man, oh man!
CORASSA: You still have one.
(the group breaks up)
ESPOSITO: (putting his hand to his head) Right.

[Cab office]

MARY BETH: (to the dispatcher, Norm Turtletaub) ) Can we talk a minute?
TURTLETAUB: (holding up a booking ticket to a driver) Hey, Joe!
MARY BETH: According to your statement, Mr. Turtletaub, at that time of the robbery you were driving Chuckie Lawrenson to a restaurant in The Bronx. Is that correct?
TURTLETAUB: (who has opened the door of his booth) So...? (to another driver) And watch those potholes, Barty. Them axles, they don't grow on trees.
CHRISTINE: Also you were present at Chuckie's funeral?
TURTLETAUB: Call me Sam Newman. I enjoy a good cry. (to yet another driver) Hey, Stinkleberg, enough of the socialising.
CHRISTINE: Funny, I don't seen you mourning over one lost customer.
MARY BETH: Especially after seven years. It must have been a hell of a tip.
TURTLETAUB: Hey, family is family.
MARY BETH: Are you telling me ...
MARY BETH/CHRISTINE: ...you're related?
TURTLETAUB: He my cousin. (the duo looks at each other) So... can I help it if you don't do all of your homework?
(he closes the booth door)
CHRISTINE: (as they walk out) That little creep. His cousin's taxi and using a phoney alibi.
MARY BETH: Statute of Limitations, Christine. We can't touch him and he knows it.
CHRISTINE: His cousin! I can't believe that the DA didn't pick up on that.
MARY BETH: Hey, he wasn't the only one.

[Manhattan street]

(a film crew are unloading a camera from a truck. Umbrellas are up)
CARMELIA STERNS: (coming out of the cab of the truck with a clipboard and walks along with the duo) First the rain and now you. So you're saying that I screwed up the case. That somewhere, in the dark ages, in the last out-take of another life, I went out and convicted the wrong guy.
MARY BETH: We're not saying you personally, Miss Sterns.
CARMELIA STERNS: Hey look, anyone can make a mistake. (the duo stops walking) I got you, didn't I? It's my killer sense of humour!
CHRISTINE: Let me get this straight. Are you willing to admit you were not prosecutor of the year.
CARMELIA STERNS: Oh, hell, I was a lousy DA. I mean, that's why I quit. Call it ...a public service. I saved a lot of people from jail by devoting my life to the big screen. Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa! That has a ring. (she takes a pocket recorder out, switches it on and speaks into it) So I saved a lot of people from jail by devoting my life to the big screen.
MARY BETH: Does this mean that you agree to help us to reopen the case again?
CARMELIA STERNS: Are you kidding?!!! (indicating the movie business) And blow all this! Sweethearts, ...I am making a major movie. I'm gonna afford a life where the sunshine is already good.
MARY BETH: You took an alibi from a person's cousin. And you bought it like it in was a lawsuit discount food market.
CARMELIA STERNS: Oh, no, no, no. You bought it. I merely er, presented it.
CHRISTINE: Well, if there was a connection, you should have known it.
CARMELIA STERNS: And what were you people doing at the time? Taking lunch?
CHRISTINE: We did our bit. We found the killer and checked him for two offences.
CARMELIA STERNS: Oh, so that's how you let yourselves off the hook?
MARY BETH: Hey!
CHRISTINE: I can't believe this.
CARMELIA STERNS: You did the best you could. ...So did I.

[Detectives' Squad room]

(Corassa and Esposito are watching Vena Dee type)
ESPOSITO: Amazing!
CORASSA: Total! With all her fingers too.
ESPOSITO: (as Isbecki comes in) Oo, Victor, you've got it made.
ISBECKI: How do you figure that?
CORASSA: The way she types, she'll have your paperwork done in half the time.
ISBECKI: I do not need a Kelly girl. I need a partner. Someone who will back my tail. Someone who will come running when I call.
COLEMAN: (coming up) You don't want a partner. What you want ...is a Doberman.
(Isbecki looks from Corassa to Esposito)

[Lexington Avenue]

(the duo, back in hooker gear, are huddling in a shop doorway)
CHRISTINE: OK, Mary Beth, spit it out.
MARY BETH: We screwed up.
CHRISTINE: Let me tell you something. Charlie wouldn't have given this a second thought. 'It's a grounder', he'd say. 'Tickers through everything to ten'.
MARY BETH: I was there.
CHRISTINE: Lenny Poe was a cockroach who should have been squashed.
MARY BETH: Oh I see, somebody should pin a medal on us for what we did?
CHRISTINE: Basically. ...The DA may have screwed it, but she did have a point.
MARY BETH: Oh yeah, some point. End of obligation.
CHRISTINE: Lenny Poe is dead and buried. R, ...I, ...P. And all the tea in China is not gonna bring him back.
MARY BETH: That's not the issue, Christine.
CHRISTINE: Nobody cares! It's over.
MARY BETH: Fair play. Somebody still has to explain all this to his widow.
CHRISTINE: (looking around the street) Definitely should have brought the butterfly net.
MARY BETH: The joint she works at is ten blocks from here.
CHRISTINE: (having looked at her watch and then Mary Beth's) Fine. Most grandmother's are home in bed by now anyway.
MARY BETH: (as Chris walks off) This way.

[Basement joint]

(the duo are coming down the stairs)
LOUISE POE: All right, girls. It's almost two. The action's over. We'll be closing.
MARY BETH: Oh, come on, be a friend. I'm so cold, I'm freezing my toenail polish off. Are you Louise Poe.
LOUISE POE: Who are you?
(the duo gets out their shields discretely)
MARY BETH: Mrs. Poe, I'm Detective Lacey. This is Sergeant Cagney.
LOUISE POE: Yeah. And I'm Lady Diana.
MARY BETH: Is there some place we could talk for a minute?
LOUISE POE: What for?
CHRISTINE: It's about your husband.
LOUISE POE: Mal!
CHRISTINE: Are you Mrs. Lenny Poe?
LOUISE POE: I used to be. What about him?
MARY BETH: Ma'am, we've uncovered some new information regarding your husband. The Lenny Poe case.
LOUISE POE: What's the point? Forget it. Lenny's dead.
CHRISTINE: Yes, we're aware of that.
MARY BETH: Ma'am, we have reason to believe that he might have been innocent.
LOUISE POE: Huh! Not guilty, maybe. Innocent? Never!
CHRISTINE: Look, your ex-husband testified that at the time of the robbery he was in a crap game.
LOUISE POE: Yeah, he might have been there. Although ...he might have been holding up a liquor store. Or even mugging old ladies in Central Park. You see, Lenny, he had a lot of activities. Taking care of his family wasn't one of them.
MARY BETH: Do you remember anybody who might corroborate his movements on that day?
LOUISE POE: Look, I didn't care then, I don't care now. Just leave ma alone, will ya?
MARY BETH: Ma'am, please understand, we're trying to clear his name.
LOUISE POE: His name!! Who gives a damn about his name?! ...I sure don't. He can rot in hell for all I care.
(Chris walks out)
MARY BETH: Good night.

[Locker room]

CHRISTINE: So you know better than anybody, huh? Better than the DA, better than...
MARY BETH: It's not just knocking off collars, right and left.
CHRISTINE: It's called showing results. Perfection is an illusion. Charlie was right. It was a grounder.
MARY BETH: Three cheers for taking a chance!. This is not a baseball game and your father's not the umpire.
CHRISTINE: You started on the beat listening to his stories.
MARY BETH: Yeah, he knew the business. He gave good advice.
CHRISTINE: I didn't see you dragging your feet!
MARY BETH: Are you gonna walk away from this like nothing ever happened?
CHRISTINE: Do you want the lawsuit, Mary Beth?!
MARY BETH: Come on, you heard the wife. She's not gonna press any charges.
CHRISTINE: Do you wanna count your money? Distant cousins come crawling out of the woodwork! Come on, we did the best that any cop would do! What, do we put on our sweetest smile and then scurry on in our peachy pink kit?
MARY BETH: You start a job, you see it through. We owe ourselves that much, Sergeant.
CHRISTINE: Fine, Suit yourself. All right? Tomorrow morning I'm sleeping in. (Mary Beth goes home) What the hell. There are other fish in the ocean.

[Lacey's lounge]

(Mary Beth, still in her hooker gear but with her topcoat on is dosing in an easy chair. Harvey switches off an electric control to it. Mary Beth stirs)
HARVEY: Does that send you a message or what?
MARY BETH: I read you loud and clear, babe. Especially tonight. I bought this chair for you.
HARVEY: I love you for it. But its three AM and right now you need the magic hand more than I do. (Mary Beth coos as Harvey removes one of her stockings) Relax.
MARY BETH: You ought to be in bed. (he massages the foot) Oh, Harvey. (as she exercises the other leg) Oh! Everything hurts. We're not gonna catch this man marching up and down Lexington Avenue saying 'No' to wandering tourists.
HARVEY: The shift is over, honey. Let it go.
MARY BETH: I feel like I'm lost in space, Harve. Dead cases come back to life. You do the right thing, ...and you find out it was the wrong thing.
HARVEY: You're home now. Bigger fish to fry. Like Alice and her carrot juice.
MARY BETH: I close my eyes and see Lenny Poe getting scared to death in a prison fight, 'cos that's what it meant.
HARVEY: Oh, babe.
MARY BETH: Christine said he probably would have wound up there anyhow.
HARVEY: That's not the point.
MARY BETH: No. I know. He was a lowlife and a thief, but he didn't do that shooting, Harvey. He was innocent and I feel as guilty as hell.
HARVEY: That's not it either, Mary Beth. I was there. You were a good cop.
MARY BETH: I did stupid stuff.
HARVEY: Hey, hear me out. You just didn't pop out fully made, You made a mistake. But that's all it was. ...Let it be, babe.
(he kisses her bare knee)
MARY BETH: A man who knows his characters.
HARVEY: What's the matter? He runs through her like a freight train, that's what.
(they giggle. He goes and sits on the arm of the chair and puts his arm round her)
MARY BETH: Could be nerves. (as he begins to get fresh with her in the hooker gear) Well, stop right now. When I go back on days I'll try it on again.
HARVEY: You know, there's a kid in Alice's day-care. He's only a month older than her. And he's potty-trained already.
MARY BETH: Oh, honey, she's not yet two. Do you remember trying to bribe Harve Jr. with candy when he was eighteen months old?
HARVEY: And when we were both working ...I had to help my mother.
MARY BETH: What did we know about life, sugar.
HARVEY: Some of Harvey's problems are important. (Mary Beth looks at him) So be it.
MARY BETH: You were so young.
HARVEY: Don't be disappointed. ...He'll be OK. With Alice we know she'll bounce.
(he kisses her)
MARY BETH: Harve.
HARVEY: Mm.
(he kisses her again)
MARY BETH: Are you trying to tell me Harvey's dropped out? (he giggles) Eh?
(he kisses her and kisses her)

[AA meeting]

CHRISTINE: I'm not quitting. I'm having problems with my sleeping. I was up all night. OK, er, ( along pause) I miss my father. ...And there are still a lot of pictures that I can't get out of my head. But I am mad at myself. All my life he kept telling me, you know, the most important thing is to be a good... Just to do a good job. You know, no matter what it took. And so I used to think 'Gee, I'm so lucky to have a guy like that in my corner'. I mean, I wouldn't be what I am today, you know, if it hadn't been for Charlie. (there is a ripple of knowing laughter) Oh! You know what I mean. You know what I mean. ...But I keep blaming him. And um, I just don't like the way it feels. ...That's all, I guess.

[Cafe]

(Chris and David Keeler come in to the cafeteria counter. As they go along, Chris puts things on the tray David is carrying)
CHRISTINE: Assault, robbery, petty theft. Who knows how many other things. It was the only one he ever got popped for.
DAVID KEELER: Ah ha.
CHRISTINE: Did I tell you what his wife said?
DAVID KEELER: His wife said?
CHRISTINE: She said he could rot in hell for all she cared.
DAVID KEELER: Sick.
CHRISTINE: Damn it, David, I know you're trying to tell me to do this thing.
DAVID KEELER: Are you telling me I'm full of crap?
CASHIER: Twelve dollars.
DAVID KEELER: (giving a bill to the cashier) Keep it. (joining Chris at a table) What can I say? Ex-lovers get lousy absolution. Of course that changes with renewed passion.
CHRISTINE: Oh, David. I've got to get a couple of hours. ...I really miss Charlie.
DAVID KEELER: Chris, I can't make this right for you, tell you how to play it.
CHRISTINE: When I used to work nights and the shift was over, I'd go over to Charlie's and we'd have a couple of pops, you know. We'd talk. 'You're doing a good job'. I didn't lose any sleep.
DAVID KEELER: But you are.
CHRISTINE: I have to admit it.
DAVID KEELER: I got a new one.
CHRISTINE: Wouldn't help.
DAVID KEELER: Try it.
CHRISTINE: David, you make me feel uncomfortable.
DAVID KEELER: I miss being with you.
CHRISTINE: I can't give you what you need right now.
DAVID KEELER: Too bad for both of us. It's not only the sex. I miss the closeness.
CHRISTINE: (getting tearful) It's not you, you know. I couldn't be with anybody right now. If I'm having an argument, I'm keeping it to myself. Everything's different, David. I just think in terms of I'm wondering whoever I am, I think.
DAVID KEELER: Whoever you are, I like it.
(Chris says nothing and half-smiles)

[Detectives' Squad room]

MARY BETH: (as she arrives, to Verna Dee) Hi, Jordan.
VERNA DEE: Hi.
MARY BETH: (seeing Chris at her desk) What are you doing here so early? Is that the Poe file?
CHRISTINE: Mm.
MARY BETH: I meant to put that away. I haven't done it yet.
CHRISTINE: Maybe not. You better sit down for this one.
MARY BETH: (sitting beside Chris) What?
CHRISTINE: Lenny Poe's crap game alibi?
MARY BETH: Yes. He claimed he lost big and he had to leave his marker. The game was in a garage on Greene and it was run by a guy named, some... It was an H. ...Henry.
CHRISTINE: Herman. That's very good.
MARY BETH: We, went to the garage, we investigated and we came up sixes.
CHRISTINE: Investigated? Let me refresh your memory. This is from our memo book. 'We entered the garage' flashed our badges and yelled, quote, Anyone named Herman running a crap game here?, end quote.
MARY BETH: Nobody volunteered, huh? (Chris shakes her head) We couldn't of.
CHRISTINE: We could and we did.
KNELMAN: (coming up) Good afternoon, Detectives.
MARY BETH: (getting up) Inspector?
KNELMAN: I'm glad I caught you before work. You do still work for this Department?
CHRISTINE: Something on your mind, Inspector?
KNELMAN: Because that question occurred to me when I received a phone call from ADA Feldberg regarding your interest in a seven-year old conviction.
MARY BETH: Are we referring to the Poe case here, sir?
CHRISTINE: (getting up) Could we speak privately, please?
KNELMAN: (shouting) And deprive your fellow officers of the benefit of learning from your mistake! May I remind you bleeding hearts that the Department does not relish the idea of a major lawsuit.
CHRISTINE: But you see some further information...
KNELMAN: But not only am I fielding phone calls from irate DAs, but now I learn that you can't even handle a simple stake out!
MARY BETH: We have been patrolling the target area, sir.
(Samuels comes out of his office)
KNELMAN: Oh? Well, perhaps then you can explain why another one of your hookers ended up in a hospital last night! (handing Chris a file) Here! You can share that with your powder room partner.
(Mary Beth looks offended)
CHRISTINE: 27th and Lexington. One-forty AM.
KNELMAN: The victim you were supposed to be protecting, is now a patient at East Side General. Now the doctors tell me she's well enough for an interview this afternoon. Be there!
MARY BETH: We will, sir.
KNELMAN: In my book a shift till two o'clock means you're on patrol until two o'clock! Now I don't care if you were powdering your noses or fixing your girdles (Samuels comes up) or doing whatever it is you ladies have to do, I expect you to at least pretend to be detectives.
SAMUELS: What's going on here, Inspector?
KNELMAN: Bert, we appoint your detectives on a priority.
SAMUELS: Let me assure you, sir, that they are giving the case a hundred percent.
KNELMAN: They better, because I'd hate like hell to have to come down here again.
(Knelman leaves)
CHRISTINE: Thank you, Lieutenant. If you'll excuse us.
SAMUELS: Hold it right there, will ya? I think I've got a picture what the two of yous were doing last night and I don't like it.
MARY BETH: Sir, we did leave...
SAMUELS: If you wanna throw your careers into the dump over Lenny Poe, fine! I'll make the arrangements!! Otherwise I want you on the case full time!!! Do you hear?! Or you're back working Times Square, two dollar vice. Permanent!!
(Samuels goes. The whole room is watching in silence)
MARY BETH: I guess it's time to leave go on Lenny, huh?
CHRISTINE: It seems to be the majority opinion.
MARY BETH: Anyway, who wants to spend their time down a pub with Strego looking up an old crap game.
CHRISTINE: Especially when we hadn't had any sleep the night before.
MARY BETH: Right. So you wanna skip lunch and go over there?
CHRISTINE: Right.

[Detective Strego's office]

STREGO: (tucking into a takeaway with chopsticks) Champagne's on its way up. Steam cooking. You wouldn't think you were eating an eel. (Mary Beth watches, open mouthed) Sure you won't have a bite?
CHRISTINE: Strego, if you can tear yourself away from the creatures of the deep, what we need is an arrest reference.
STREGO: Come on! One little bite. What harm could it do?
(Chris shakes her head. Strego waves a piece in Mary Beth's direction)
MARY BETH: I'm on a gluten-free diet. ...Normally. But seeing as it's you recommending it, Detective Strego.
(Chris smiles. Strego puts the piece in Mary Beth's mouth)
STREGO: Mm?
MARY BETH: They tell me eel is an aphr... (swallowing with difficulty) ...is an aphrodisiac. (Mary Beth winks and smiles. Strego smiles. Mary Beth forces a smile back) We're looking for any collar on a floating crap game run by a guy named Herman.
STREGO: Last name?
MARY BETH: Ah. Er,.. That we don't have.
CHRISTINE: All we know is that he was running games at parking garages Alphabet City.
STREGO: How far back are we talking?
MARY BETH: Well, (winking) nothing you can't handle, Lou. (wiggling her shoulders) Anything... Anything between July and September, nineteen eighty.
STREGO: Eighty! (he burps) You've gotta be pulling my chain. Right?
CHRISTINE: Not if I were wearing gloves, Strego.
STREGO: The computer only goes back to eighty-two. You're asking me to dig through stacks and stacks of musty old files. Aquitania.
(Chris turns and looks at Mary Beth)
MARY BETH: But you would... (reaching for a piece of eel) ...would give us a hand? ...On this. ...Would ya?
(she eats the eel)
STREGO: (laughing) What the heck! Help ...is what I'm here for. Day ...or night.
MARY BETH: Oh, that's comforting, Lou.

[Church hall]

(a Bingo game is in progress. The come in and go and sit either side of the caller)
HERMAN FLAX: B, 7. Anybody have B7?
(he repeats the numbers in another language)
CHRISTINE: Bit different from your high-rolling days, eh, Herman?
HERMAN FLAX: Ah, at my age this is closest I can get to keeping a hand in. N, 34. (to Mary Beth) I tell ya if the police would only listen to me I could turn over another twenty percent. No problem!
MARY BETH: (taking out a photo) I've got a face from the past for ya, Mr. Flax. Do you recognise this man?
HERMAN FLAX: I can't say I do 'cos I don't. B, 14.
CHRISTINE: His names Lenny Poe. He was big in your crap games back in Eighty.
HERMAN FLAX: Lady, please, I ran games three nights a week, twelve years straight.
MARY BETH: (handing him the photo again) Think hard, Herman. You were taken for a ride, Memorial Day weekend.
HERMAN FLAX: I, 23.
MARY BETH: It was a scorcher that day. Soles were sticking to the sidewalk.
(he repeats I23)
CHRISTINE: (putting a dollar bill in front of him) Maybe this'll help your hindsight.
HERMAN FLAX: (putting on his glasses and picking up the bill) Only in one eye.
CHRISTINE: Come on, Herman, the slush fund's low. That's all we've got.
HERMAN FLAX: C, 52. (giving the photo back to Mary Beth) No.
MARY BETH: Herman, does the priest here know your background?
HERMAN FLAX: Er...
CHRISTINE: Twenty or nothing, Herman.
HERMAN FLAX: Er, sure I remember the guy. Ha, ha. Burnt me on a three hundred buck marker. I never forget a deadbeat.
(he repeats C52)
PLAYER: Bingo!

[Outside the church]

MARY BETH: (looking at her watch) Maybe we could catch Feldberg before he leaves.
CHRISTINE: We have to change first before we leave and do the updating from last night before we hit the streets.
MARY BETH: Right. ...Do you think Bingo was a word before it was a game? Or the other way round.
CHRISTINE: Too deep for me.

[Feldberg's office]

(Feldberg is in front a mirror doing his tie. There is a knock at the door and the duo comes in their hooker gear)
MARY BETH: Mr. Feldberg, sir.
FELDBERG: (seeing them in the mirror) Well, what do we have here? A new approach?
CHRISTINE: Feldberg,...
FELDBERG: Look, ladies. a little free advice. Don't give up your day job.
CHRISTINE: Thank you. Now that you've got that out of your system, we have something that we'd like to give you.
FELDBERG: Er, given the public health hazard, I think I'll pass.
MARY BETH: Sir, we have new information regarding the Lenny Poe case.
FELDBERG: (putting on his jacket) Look, the man is dead. Why won't the case die?
CHRISTINE: We have an eyewitness who swears that Lenny Poe was playing in a crap game.
MARY BETH: We also have Marci Bruckman's statement (showing him it in the file) that Chuckie Lawrenson did the job.
CHRISTINE: She's witnessed his dying confession.
FELDBERG: (putting on his topcoat) Look, that is all fine and good, but it's a little late don't you think?
MARY BETH: No sir, (looking at Chris) we don't.
FELDBERG: Look, I understand. You're trying to right a wrong. But just remember, to err is human, to forgive depends on how much Poe's family will settle for.
CHRISTINE: A posthumous exoneration, Feldberg.
FELDBERG: Look, ladies,...
MARY BETH: Of course if you're too busy I could run this over to "The Times".
CHRISTINE: Right.
(the duo turns to leave)
FELDBERG: Hey, er, ladies, you'll never make it in those heels. Let me have the file.

[East Side General Hospital corridor]

(Adele is on a gurney)
ADELE: He grabbed my purse from behind, I turned around and all I saw was his kid.
MARY BETH: Yeah, but you did see him run uptown, right? So you must have noticed something.
CHRISTINE: His height, his build maybe.
ADELE: (to Mary Beth) You wanna go a little easy on the mascara. You'll get a mark on your collar. (Mary Beth feels her collar) Maybe a little Midnight Blue.
CHRISTINE: We need a better description, Adele.
ADELE: You cops are a real treat. Where the hell were you last night when I needed ya?
MARY BETH: Believe me, Adele, I want this scum.
ADELE: Do you? The Pope sends me a card every Easter. Whose gonna pick up my tab here? What, do you think I'll get worker's discount? Sorry girls, got a date with an X-ray machine.
MARY BETH: Bye then. (the porter takes Adele into the X-ray department. The duo begins to walk out) Four different times this geezer hits between one and one-fifteen. Now this last time all of a sudden he hits at one-forty. What did he sleep in?
CHRISTINE: Who cares? We'll get our butts kicked anyway.
MARY BETH: Did Inspector Knelman really say 'girdles'?
CHRISTINE: For a long time that man's been wanting to see us take off the clothes!
(they giggle)
MARY BETH: (suddenly stopping) There has to be a clue somewhere, Chris.
CHRISTINE: Mary Beth, there's no description! It's a man who happens to love violence and run a lot. That's it.
MARY BETH: He has to be young. Even in normal shoes I can hardly run to the subway.
CHRISTINE: Why does he do it Lexington?
MARY BETH: What does Lexington Avenue have that that Third does not?
CHRISTINE: The magic of Bloomingdale's.
MARY BETH: Sergeant! The subway. It's the only stop in that neighbourhood.
CHRISTINE: So what?
MARY BETH: The Monday before last he hit on 53rd and ran...
CHRISTINE: ...downtown.
MARY BETH: And last night after he hit Adele on 47th he ran...
CHRISTINE: ...uptown.
MARY BETH: To use the entrance to the subway.
(they give each other high-fives)

[Lexington Avenue]

(Isbecki is swaggering along, leather jacket, fedora with a feather and dragging on a cigarette. Verna Dee, long black hair and a leopard skin coat, comes up with two coffees)
VERNA DEE: Victor, you look tasty, but I'm the one that's the prey here.
(the duo are on a different part of Lexington)
MARY BETH: It's all water under the bridge, over the damn and out into the ocean. (Chris looks bemused) Whatever. I'm a totally different parent now. A little wiser ...maybe.
CHRISTINE: You've got two kids left.
MARY BETH: If I made a mistake with Harvey Jr., hey, you live, you learn.
CHRISTINE: But even in a bomber jacket he's a rookie, you know.
MARY BETH: Maybe I don't understand it but I love the kid, Christine. I was the best parent I could be then.
CHRISTINE: We were the best cops we could be then, not that it matters to anybody else.
MARY BETH: Yeah. But only better now.
ISBECKI: The girls on the street'll know what I'm doing. That's where I shine.
VERNA DEE: And it shows. Do you think maybe you could tone it down a little bit.
(there is a scream. A man hits a girl to the ground)
ISBECKI: (drawing his gun) Police! Hold it!
VERNA DEE: (into walkie-talkie) Going down.
CHRISTINE: (hearing it on her wire) She's going down. Hit the high road.
ISBECKI: Hold it!
(the man kicks the girl on the ground and runs. Isbecki checks the girl. Verna Dee comes up. Isbecki gives chase)
VERNA DEE: (into walkie-talkie) We need an ambulance. Now!
(the man runs into the subway entrance at 51st and Lexington. Chris appears at the bottom of the stairs, gun drawn)
CHRISTINE: Hold it! Police!
MARY BETH: (at the top of the stairs, gun drawn) Hold it right where you are! Hands on the wall.
(the man drops the girl's purse and puts his hands on the wall)
ISBECKI: (coming up) You heard her!!!
MARY BETH: (handing him her gin) Got it, Victor?
ISBECKI: Got it.
(Isbecki laughs)
MARY BETH: (going to the man halfway down the stairs) Don't laugh at me, Victor. You try it in these shoes.

[Locker room]

(Mary Beth drops her hooker's high heels into a bin full of burning paper. Chris stands by with a fire extinguisher)
CHRISTINE: We are better cops now, Mary Beth.
MARY BETH: And smarter.

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