[Detectives' Squad room]
(Chris comes in smiling broadly)
CHRISTINE: (breezily to a suspect being escorted in a she gets past) Excuse me. Good morning, Mary Beth, how was your weekend?
MARY BETH: Terrific.
MARY BETH: I had no idea what it costs to heat a house. A hundred and fifty-three dollars on oil bills alone this last month. What with storm windows and weather stripping.
CHRISTINE: The pride of ownership, Mary Beth? A small price to pay. Yeah?
MARY BETH: We've just finished repairing the gutters and now it's the roof.
CHRISTINE: Well, Mary Beth, we pass this way but once in our life.
(Mary Beth's phone rings)
MARY BETH: (into phone) Detective Lacey, Fourteenth. ...Yes sir. ...Say again, please. ...Thank you, sir. We're on our way. (she rings off) Burglary. Brownstone on Forsyth St.
CHRISTINE: Great! Gives us an opportunity to talk on the way. Ha, ha!
MARY BETH: That's one way to look at it.
CHRISTINE: Well, listen, by the time we get there, with any luck, it might be a homicide! Just kidding.
MARY BETH: You're in some mood today.
ESPOSITO: (to Chris) How's our resident ski bum, today?
CHRISTINE: Wonderful. It's very cool this time of year.
ESPOSITO: If you like snow.
COLEMAN: Listen up, everybody. (reading from a postcard) 'Howdee, partners. The desert's dry and dusty, but my shooting iron is rusty. And with Ginger not here, I'm feeling lusty'. Now, before you get to see this, the only two words spelt correctly are 'Victor' and 'Isbecki'.
CHRISTINE: Ah, I think that's nice.
MARY BETH: It must have been quite a weekend.
(the walls are covered in dripping graffiti. One prominent word is 'MURDER')
MARY BETH: Some man must have thought it was the subway.
CHRISTINE: It's a lot worse than the IRT in August.
SOLOMON: Christine!!! (carrying an evidence bag with the same black liquid in it that has been used for the graffiti) Don't breathe too deep until we find out what this stuff is.
(Mary Beth pinches her nose)
CHRISTINE: Always dangerous to breathe the air around you, Detective.
SOLOMON: (pinching his nose) On second thoughts, you incredible creature, you just throw back your shoulders. You breathe as deep as you want to.
CHRISTINE: Oh, stop it, Solomon.
SOLOMON: When you talk that way, it like touches a spot deep down inside of me...
MARY BETH: Pardon me, there is a reason that we are all here today, Detective Solomon.
SOLOMON: Right, right. A new form of vandalism. I never saw paint like this before. I'm gonna be running some tests on this stuff.
CHRISTINE: Anything taken?
SOLOMON: Just left. Left. This is a vandal you've got here. Not a thief. He uses the fire escape and a brick to get in the place. You've got fingerprints all over the place.
MARY BETH: Where are the Wittingtons, Solomon?
SOLOMON: Down the hall. In the den. In the den. Listen, they're pretty shook up right now. You go down to the left and then you'll find... (as Mary Beth goes to the den, he throws his arm around Chris as she tries to get past) Pollution, huh?! An ugly fact of life, Christine. But one you could escape from it all with a weekend of Florida sun and sea breezes.
CHRISTINE: With you?
SOLOMON: And the Tannenbaums.
SOLOMON: The Tannenbaums. The other award-winning couple in the Staten Island, Clothing Optional, Fun-in-the-Sun Sweepstake.
CHRISTINE: Are you a nudist, Solomon?
SOLOMON: (laughing) Yeah, well, I'm all man, Christine. There's no tan line on me. (putting his arm back round her) So! What about Florida, Christine? Do you er, think you're woman enough?
CHRISTINE: It's just the vic... Er. Actually, I'm kind of self-conscious about my tattoos.
SOLOMON: (as Chris goes to join Mary Beth) Don't be self-conscious.
[Billy Wittington's den]
BILLY WITTINGTON: How could anyone call me a murderer? I donate to all the major charities. I sponsor a children's bowling team.
(Chris comes in)
MARY BETH: Have you had any disagreements or arguments with anyone in the past few weeks?
BILLY WITTINGTON: No. I wouldn't associate with anyone who would act this way.
CHRISTINE: What do you do, Mr. Wittington?
BILLY WITTINGTON: I'm a toy manufacturer. Billy Boy Toys? I'm Billy.
MARY BETH: No kidding!
BILLY WITTINGTON: (pointing to a large toy) Mr. Banana Man. my biggest seller. (Mary Beth nods approvingly) I've always had it in for this little guy.
CHRISTINE: Maybe it's some kind of debt.
MARY BETH: It's hard to believe. 'Billy Boy Toys. The Kids' Best Friend'.
CHRISTINE: Any man who calls himself Billy must be in a crap business to me.
MARY BETH: Oh no, his toys are very well made, Christine. Michael still has his model airplane set. So probably he'll be able to give it to his little boy one day.
CHRISTINE: That's too far ahead to think about.
MARY BETH: Yeah. I forgot to mention it. I'm taking some personal time this afternoon. ...A couple of hours, that's all.
CHRISTINE: What are you up to? Doing something for Harvey?
MARY BETH: That's why they call it personal time.
SAMUELS: (putting a dish in the microwave) Well, if it wasn't peat, then what was it?
CHRISTINE: Some sort of industrial by-product according to Forensics.
CHRISTINE: Sub-standard chemicals.
SAMUELS: I joined up from college in order to keep the streets safe. Now we can't solve a crime without the guys in the lab coats. Any idea on the prints?
CHRISTINE: No, nothing. I checked with Billy Boy Toys but they haven't fired anybody in the last six months and the only lawsuits they have pending is all nuisance stuff.
SAMUELS: Hey, that's what keeps the lawyers in business nowadays.
CHRISTINE: That's the price of crime, Lieutenant. I'm going to get back to my sixty-ones if you don't need anything.
SAMUELS: (taking the dish out of the microwave) Frozen food. The best thing I can say about this is it's manufactured.
CHRISTINE: (leaving) Go to a restaurant.
SAMUELS: (to himself) I forgot that.
[Doctor's waiting room]
(there are leaflets "What You Should Know About Breast Biopsy" and "Mastectomy")
NURSE: Mrs. Lacey. The doctor will see you now.
[Detectives' Squad room]
CORASSA: I wouldn't need mine after the snow.
ESPOSITO: But you would if you lost one.
PETRIE: (coming up) Nothing personal, Esposito. The jumper you sold me for Lauren. The straps fell off the first time we launched it.
ESPOSITO: No!!! No, my stuff is guaranteed a hundred percent. You send it back.
PETRIE: To Malaysia?
ESPOSITO: I'm sure they've got a post office there. Now look. Look here, I want you to check this out. All right? Check it out.
PETRIE: A disposable cigarette lighter?
ESPOSITO: To the untrained eye. This is in fact an automatic lobster catcher.
COLEMAN: (as Chris comes in) Cagney.
(he hands her a document)
COLEMAN: This has just come in from Billy Boy Toys company. I believe it's your case.
CHRISTINE: It is.
COLEMAN: Yeah. Some guy's vandalising the place. The uniforms are on the scene. They're holding the perp until you arrive.
CHRISTINE: OK, as soon as Lacey gets here. Thank you, Coleman.
(her phone rings)
CHRISTINE: (into phone) Yeah. Cagney, Fourteenth. ...No. Sorry. No, she's not in yet. Can I take a message? ...Yeah. Hold on. (she gets a pen and paper) OK. Go. ...Sure. ...All right, I'll make sure she gets it. Thank you.
MARY BETH: (rushing in) Christine. I'm sorry I'm late. I was studying. We're doing "Rome and Juliet" now, and I forgot to set my alarm. And I overslept.
CHRISTINE: It's OK.
MARY BETH: It's exactly like "West Side Story". The Jets and the Sharks? The Montagues and the Capulets.
CHRISTINE: Ah ha. Mary Beth, do not get too comfortable. Billy Boy's factory has been vandalised and they think they have a suspect.
MARY BETH: The same as at the apartment?
CHRISTINE: Yeah. And Dr. Larwin's office called.
MARY BETH: (taking the message) Oh. Um. I need a minute, Chris.
CHRISTINE: OK. I'll wait outside.
(Mary Beth dials)
MARY BETH: (into phone) Good morning.
CHRISTINE: Do you mind telling me what's going on, Mary Beth?
MARY BETH: I said I was sorry. Next time, I promise, I'll set my alarm before I study.
CHRISTINE: That isn't what I'm talking about and you know it. First you take yesterday afternoon off and now your surgeon's calling you. Well, I think it would be nice if you would keep your partner apprised of anything ...unusual in your life.
MARY BETH: I went in yesterday for some tests. It's two years since I had that lump removed.
MARY BETH: And I'm sorry to do this again, but I need some time off tomorrow for another test.
CHRISTINE: Mary Beth,...
MARY BETH: I not gonna make you crazy here, Christine. Dr. Larwin always does follow-up tests.
CHRISTINE: Just routine?
MARY BETH: Everything'll be fine.
[Billy Boy Toys factory]
(there are dirty stains everywhere. Chris is holding her nose)
SOLOMON: Christine! Christine! it's beginning to prey on your mind, right?
SOLOMON: Come on! Swaying palms. Sun. Kissing you in secret places.
CHRISTINE: Oh. Is this the suspect?
SOLOMON: Yeah. Er, Dinah Roswell. The officer says she walks in here with two buckets filled with this ...garbage. Throws it all over the toys and starts yelling 'Murderers!', 'Criminals!'. Not a pretty sight, huh?
CHRISTINE: It stinks. Yeah.
SOLOMON: Christine! Christine! Look around you. I could take you away from all this.
CHRISTINE: Gee. It makes such a tough choice, but I think ...I'll stick with noxious fumes. (Solomon laughs. The duo approaches the suspect. To the uniformed officers) We'll take it from here.
MARY BETH: Dinah Roswell?
DINAH ROSWELL: Correct. I'll be ready to go in a minute. As soon as the media gets here.
CHRISTINE: Are you responsible for this mess?
DINAH ROSWELL: Absolutely. Actually this mess is just a small dose of Mr. Wittington's pollution and I've returned it.
MARY BETH: Let's go. You're under arrest.
DINAH ROSWELL: Wait a minute. Try to understand. This stuff just doesn't smell bad, it kills.
CHRISTINE: Good. We'll take your statement at the station.
DINAH ROSWELL: (as the duo takes her by the elbows) No! This is my statement!! This is not vandalism!
CHRISTINE: Fine. Let's move it.
(they hustle her out as she continues to protest)
CHRISTINE: What exactly was that stuff?
DINAH ROSWELL: Mostly acetone and benzene. Wittington's industrial waste. He's been dumping that stuff illegally for years.
MARY BETH: Do you know that for a fact?
DINAH ROSWELL: I saw it myself. Untreated, cancer-causing chemicals being poured down landfills, down sewers. Sometimes right into the Hudson River.
CHRISTINE: And you just happened to be following his trucks around?
DINAH ROSWELL: Oh no. Last Summer I was a field intern for the Environmental Resource Board.
MARY BETH: Doing what, Miss. Roswell?
DINAH ROSWELL: I was bagging soil samples. That's when I saw this truck just cruise by. And they emptied these monster drums of chemicals right into this housing site landfill. So I tailed them. Right back to Billy Boy Toys.
MARY BETH: Why didn't you report this at the time?
DINAH ROSWELL: I did. The ERB threw me a line about priorities, and did zip. So that's why I went to Wittington.
MARY BETH: You talked to Mr. Wittington?
DINAH ROSWELL: Well, he talked. I got a wimp handshake and 'Oh, we'll look into that'. You see. It's all part of a cover up.
CHRISTINE: We'll look into your conspiracy theory, Miss Roswell. You've already admitted to trespassing and criminal mischief. It hardly makes you a credible source, does it?
DINAH ROSWELL: You've got to do something. This stuff causes cancer.
(Mary Beth looks on grimly)
[Detectives' Squad room]
(as the duo comes in from the interview room)
MARY BETH: I'm saying it wouldn't hurt.
CHRISTINE: All talk, Mary Beth.
LYNNE SUTTER: Good afternoon, ladies.
MARY BETH: Hi, Lynne. Working the streets?
CHRISTINE: Let me guess. You're here to do a story on the finest of New York's Finest.
LYNNE SUTTER: Not bad, Cagney. But I've got a hotter piece on the burner. The Dinah Roswell case.
CHRISTINE: Oh yes, well every lawbreaker deserves their fifteen seconds of fame.
(Chris goes to her desk. Lynne Sutter stops Mary Beth)
LYNNE SUTTER: Listen. Did Roswell tell you about the dumping of toxic waste by Wittington.
MARY BETH: Yes, she mentioned it.
LYNNE SUTTER: And how did you respond?
MARY BETH: Lynne.
(Mary Beth goes to her desk. Lynne Sutter goes and sits by their desks)
CHRISTINE: Slow news day, Sutter.
LYNNE SUTTER: I wrote a story about Roswell during her internship, if that's what you're asking.
CHRISTINE: Good! Now you know how it ends.
LYNNE SUTTER: Don't play tough with me, Sergeant. I've got something that could make your job much easier.
CHRISTINE: A male secretary.
(Chris opens a box of takeaway and starts to eat)
LYNNE SUTTER: Better. (she opens a file) Copies of the reports Roswell filed with the ERB. Dates. Times. Places. This could save you a lot of legwork.
(Chris ignores her and carries on eating)
MARY BETH: I'd like to see that.
LYNNE SUTTER: If we agree. You get a collar. I get first shot at the detail.
CHRISTINE: (to Mary Beth) Do you love it? We're trying to do our job and she's playing Mardi Hall.
LYNNE SUTTER: Toy company. Toxic waste. Cancer. That kind of story sells papers.
(Chris nods. Lynne Sutter hands the file to Mary Beth. Chris offers Lynne something from her takeaway)
MARY BETH: Begging your pardon, Lieutenant, the unlawful disposal of toxic waste is a felony.
SAMUELS: We don't have jurisdiction in it, Lacey. If anyone's going to take any action on it, it's gotta be the ERB.
MARY BETH: With due respect, sir, I remember seeing it right here when Federal Agent Hornby pulled us off the plutonium case because he didn't want any bad publicity.
SAMUELS: Agent Hornby played it by the book. He told us the Feds would follow up the investigation...
MARY BETH: Do you know they did that, sir? We never heard anything. For all we know they swept that plutonium under a carpet with Lord knows how many other things.
SAMUELS: Oh, Lacey,...
MARY BETH: Because nobody knows, it doesn't matter. Right?
SAMUELS: ... don't you pin that bureaucracy crap on me, Detective! ...Without Federal cooperation, what can you do? ..What?! ...Unless you catch somebody right in the act, you've got no solid evidence.
MARY BETH: With your permission, sir, I think we can do that.
CHRISTINE: We could at least talk to the ERB. It's worth a try.
SAMUELS: OK. All right. But if they've got other priorities, I don't wanna hear that the two of yous been harassing them. Understood?!
MARY BETH: Thank you, sir.
(Mary Beth leaves)
SAMUELS: Cagney, hold it a second, will ya. I've been altering the schedules.
(he hands her a copy)
[Detectives' Squad room]
COLEMAN: (bringing in a visitor) Is Sergeant Cagney around?
MARY BETH: She'll be out in a minute. (to the visitor) May I help you?
COLEMAN: No, I don't think so. Not this time.
LARS ANDERS: Pleased to meet you. I am Lars Anders. A friend of Chris's.
MARY BETH: Oh! A friend of Chris's? (shaking his extended hand) Oh, I'm very pleased to meet you. I'm Mary Beth Lacey, I'm her partner.
COLEMAN: Well Lars here's her partner too. He's her skiing partner.
MARY BETH: Oh, that's nice!
CHRISTINE: (coming out of the office) Lars?
LARS ANDERS: (rushing towards her) Chrissie!!!
(he lifts her off the ground and swings her around. She laughs)
CHRISTINE: What are you doing here?
LARS ANDERS: I've come to surprise you.
CHRISTINE: (as he puts her down) And you did it. Now you can go back to Vermont.
LARS ANDERS: (stroking her cheeks) You always play with me, Chrissie. Kissing and baseball. The other night you said...
(Chris clamps her hand over his mouth)
CHRISTINE: (to the assembled crowd) Would you excuse us just for a moment? Lars. (nodding to him and leading him to one side) What are you doing in New York? I thought that you'd be taking ski lessons through April.
LARS ANDERS: You said to come visit you any time I am in town. (shouting it loudly) So (lowering his voice) I come for two thousand years.
CHRISTINE: Well, er... To see me?
LARS ANDERS: Of course.
CHRISTINE: Just me?
LARS ANDERS: I miss you in the mornings when I wake up. (Chris looks round anxiously wondering what Coleman, Esposito and co. can hear) Here. Take your present. (a small gift-wrapped box) It's skin lotion with vitamin E to make you soft and healthy.
(Mary Beth is seeing what she can hear)
CHRISTINE: Thank you.
LARS ANDERS: You remember Saturday night?
(Chris lets out an involuntary yelp)
CHRISTINE: Why don't I ...see you back to your hotel?
LARS ANDERS: Hotel?
CHRISTINE: Mm hm.
LARS ANDERS: No. I am staying with you.
ESPOSITO: (who has a Polaroid camera) Lars. Pick her up one more time and ...smile.
(Chris struggles and stops him from getting her up. Esposito takes the photo)
CHRISTINE: (struggling for words as well) Don't you have anyone to stay with? Friends?
LARS ANDERS: You! You are my best friend.
PETRIE: (coming up) Cup of coffee, Lars?
LARS ANDERS: Nay.
COLEMAN: Er, how about lunch? We're just about to order. You look like a pastrami man to me.
LARS ANDERS: No.
CHRISTINE: (surreptitiously) Here are the keys to my loft. And I'll give you the address. And you ask the cabbie to drop you off there. OK?
LARS ANDERS: Yes. Thank you, Chrissie.
CHRISTINE: Oh, not at all. We'll talk later. (he tries to kiss her) Later.
LARS ANDERS: Of course.
CHRISTINE: Of course.
LARS ANDERS: Soon, I hope.
CHRISTINE: Very soon. Yes.
(Mary Beth beams across at Christine)
ESPOSITO: (handing him the photo) Good-bye, Lars. Thank you so much for coming by.
LARS ANDERS: Yeah. (he shakes hands with Coleman) Yeah.
PETRIE: (raising his coffee mug) Skol.
LARS ANDERS: (turning back to Chris) I was hoping to see you very uniform.
CHRISTINE: (grimacing) We'll see.
PETRIE: (as Lars goes out) Seems like a decent fella. ...And er, ...big.
(Chris glares at Petrie)
[Lorca's office at the Environmental Resource Board]
LORCA: In a three-month internship, Roswell would have more complaints than the entire ERB staff, with a copy to me and a copy to the Press. She even had a file on the NYPD. (he beckons to his secretary who gives him a document) Improper disposal of motor oil from the car pool. (as he signs the document) Needless to say we should both let it slide on that one.
CHRISTINE: Did you also let Billy Boy Toys slide?
LORCA: Miss. Roswell was very vehement on that case, but frankly I don't think there's too much to it.
MARY BETH: How dangerous is an acetone-benzene compound, Mr. Lorca?
LORCA: (searching for a file) Where is that thing? Needless to say there were violations by a small company, worth about two or three million dollars a year.
MARY BETH: (handing Lorca Lynne Sutter's file) Miss. Roswell claims that she has witnessed these people dumping large quantities of an acetone-benzene compound into the ground. Now... Now what kind of effect would that have?
LORCA: Well, if it's true, I suppose the chemicals could eventually intrude on the ground water in that area.
MARY BETH: So it would get in the water supply?
CHRISTINE: What if it did?! My lab says that kind of mixture could be highly poisonous if it isn't treated properly.
LORCA: Well, ...in large enough quantities, yes, but it all depends.
MARY BETH: On what?! What if it's your kids living in the neighbourhood?
LORCA: What do want from me? Hey, Washington is cutting our funding. I don't have immediate manpower. (the phone buzzes. Into phone) Yes. ...Tell him anything he wants will have to wait. (he rings off) Millions of tons of toxic waste were disposed of last year. Enough to fill fifteen hundred Astrodomes. Most of it illegally. We just can't go after every fish in the sea.
MARY BETH: If you would go after the polluters, sir, the fish would take care of themselves.
(Mary Beth is cleaning a pot. Harvey Jr. comes in, gets a glass out and goes to the tap)
MARY BETH: Hey, don't drink that. (she goes to the fridge and gets a large container of water) Here.
HARVEY JR.: Since when?
MARY BETH: Since I bought it today. Your father's gonna put a filter on that faucet too. You don't know what's floating around in the water. (looking up at him) I think you grew an inch this last week.
HARVEY JR.: Two inches in two months. I measured myself against the wall.
MARY BETH: You were twenty-three inches when you were born. I always knew you were gonna be tall.
HARVEY JR.: Yeah, I never knew that.
MARY BETH: First time the doctor brought you to me, I could barely see ya, my eyes were so full of tears.
HARVEY JR.: Yeah. So ugly, huh?
MARY BETH: Never! You had a pointed head, but you were beautiful.
HARVEY JR.: Ma.
MARY BETH: I feel bad I told them to put me out. I wish I'd been there to greet you.
HARVEY JR.: It's OK, Mum.
MARY BETH: You're growing up so fast, I feel that I don't know where six-years old went, or seven ...or ten.
HARVEY JR.: Yeah, ten was Mr. Chief of the fifth-grade. One of the teachers there.
MARY BETH: You were such a handsome young man. I remember you had a tuxedo on at that dance party. It was like peeking into the future. Next thing you're gonna be driving. And then I hope you'll go to college. Wonderful to learn things. And then you will get a job and ...then you will get married. Alice Christine'll be a flower girl.
HARVEY JR.: Ma!
MARY BETH: (picking up a can of pot cleaning fluid and looking at the contents) Benzene!
[Baby Boy Toys warehouse yard]
(the duo is on stake out. A truck is being loaded)
CHRISTINE: It's incredible, Mary Beth. The man ...never ...sleeps.
MARY BETH: Sounds very romantic.
CHRISTINE: Romantic, hell. It's like being with a puppy on heat.
MARY BETH: And so mature. These days, Christine. Older woman, younger man. Very chic. Mary Tyler Moore married that young doctor.
CHRISTINE: Oh yeah. He and Lars have a lot in common. I was in police college the year that he was born.
MARY BETH: (watching the truck) He's getting ready to go.
(later the Squad car is following the truck)
CHRISTINE: Any idea where this stuff will end up.
MARY BETH: Your guess is as good as mine.
(the truck pulls into another warehouse yard)
CHRISTINE: He's pulling over. (as she puts the flashing red light on the car roof) Let's take him.
(the siren wails. The Squad car pulls in behind the truck)
[Another warehouse yard]
TRUCKER #1: (getting out) Hey, I couldn't have been speeding!
CHRISTINE: (showing her shield) Sergeant Cagney, NYPD. Do you have any identification?
MARY BETH: I'm Detective Lacey. Do you wanna open up the back of this truck, sir. We'd like to see what's inside. (he pushes up the shutter) Did you pick this stuff at Billy Boy Toys?
TRUCKER #1: Yeah. Look at my manifest. I've got a couple of stops and then I'm going to the dumpsite.
MARY BETH: Can I see those papers, please sir?
TRUCKER #1: Ladies, pardon me, if I don't get going pretty soon, the traffic on that bridge...
CHRISTINE: Take it easy, mister. (checking the manifest) He's going to an approved dumpsite.
TRUCKER #1: It's all legal.
MARY BETH: That's what it says.
[Detectives' Squad room]
DINAH ROSWELL: That load maybe, but that's not all of it.
CHRISTINE: Roswell, why didn't you go on at school and become a lawyer like other people your age?
MARY BETH: (coming in) Miss. Roswell.
DINAH ROSWELL: Oh, Detective, you see, they're only allowed to hold onto that waste for ninety days at a time, so they ditch a dozen barrels legally to look good. Sort of their contribution to a cleaner America, but then, over the next few days, they dump the rest in small loads.
MARY BETH: (to Chris) How does she know this?
DINAH ROSWELL: I've been watching them every time they operate. It's their MO!
CHRISTINE: I'll tell you what, Roswell, we'll think about it. Right? Now, if you'll just go away, because we have other business here to attend to. That's our MO.
DINAH ROSWELL: Oh, you're so close to this thing. Please, just give it that extra effort.
CHRISTINE: I said we'd think about it.
MARY BETH: Thank you, Miss. Roswell. ...Thank you, Miss. Roswell.
(Dinah Roswell leaves reluctantly)
MARY BETH: You have to hand it to her. She's persistent.
CHRISTINE: So's Nixon. ...How did this last test go?
MARY BETH: OK.
CHRISTINE: OK?! That's good. So how come you had to have the second test?
MARY BETH: Er... There was a little something on the first X-ray. They didn't know what it was. So they had to give me a different kind. The doctor said that I shouldn't worry about it.
CHRISTINE: Well, it's easy for him to say. How do you feel?
MARY BETH: He's a good doctor. Now this Roswell. Let's have one thing right, Christine. Even if we come up badly, we should be certain to make our best effort.
CHRISTINE: We made our best effort at five-thirty this morning, remember?
MARY BETH: That was laying groundwork. If this kid knows what she's talking about...
CHRISTINE: Mary Beth, it doesn't make any difference, because Samuels wants us to drop the case. I've already called Sutter.
MARY BETH: Oh, come on, Christine. Aren't you willing to lose a little more sleep for a collar like this one?
CHRISTINE: Sleep? What is sleep?
MARY BETH: Oh, I forgot! You have a visitor.
(Mary Beth smiles broadly)
CHRISTINE: Yeah. ...Maybe we can try it again tomorrow. At least it'll get me out of the loft before Lars' hormones wake up.
MARY BETH: (patting Chris on the back) That's a very unselfish decision.
(Mary Beth is ironing. Harvey is working at a drawing board)
MARY BETH: What was the name of that building before you started working on it?
MARY BETH: Cute. What else, Harve? Sometimes companies dump toxic chemicals into landfills, you know?
HARVEY: I always check out a parcel of land before I work on it, Mary Beth.
MARY BETH: Sometimes those chemicals seep below the surface. You can't find them so easily.
HARVEY: You can only worry the things you have some control over. The 'what ifs' and the 'maybes', you can't think about it.
MARY BETH: Yeah?! What's more important than your health? It was bad enough you worked with that asbestos all those years before the government found out it gives you cancer.
HARVEY: That's in the past, Mary Beth.
MARY BETH: You think it's over. You think you're safe. Then you find out about something else.
HARVEY: Dr. Larwin said you have nothing to worry about. He's just playing it safe with this follow-up test.
MARY BETH: A lot of my abdomen is not routine on my MRI scan.
HARVEY: The doctor did not say there was a lump, Mary Beth. He said a shadow on the X-ray. Your tests have been clear for two years now. You're gonna be fine. Will you stop ironing? You've got a stake out in the morning. Go to bed. I've gotta finish up my work here.
MARY BETH: (after a long pause) Harvey.
HARVEY: Yes, sweetheart. Beddies tomorrow?
(Harvey smiles and nods)
(the alarm goes. She struggles to wake up and switch it off. There is a pumping sound. Lars, in long johns, is doing press ups)
LARS ANDERS: Chrissie!!
CHRISTINE: (through her teeth) Morning.
LARS ANDERS: I've been waiting for you.
CHRISTINE: (as she drags her self out of bed) Yes, I know.
LARS ANDERS: I do something special for you. (he rushes and picks up a blender jug) It's a brandy and egg, bee pollen breakfast. You can take it to your stake up.
CHRISTINE: Out. Stake out, Lars.
LARS ANDERS: It will make you feel good. ...And strong like I do.
CHRISTINE: Ho ho! Golly!
(they are watching the Billy Boy Toys warehouse yard. Chris takes the top off the blender jar and smells it)
MARY BETH: The first shift'll be here in half an hour.
CHRISTINE: Well, there's nothing for us here. I'm thinking of throwing in the towel.
MARY BETH: I guess.
CHRISTINE: (pouring out some of the liquid) Brandy and egg shake with bee pollen. Want a sip?
MARY BETH: Oh, no thank you.
CHRISTINE: Go ahead. It's great stuff.
MARY BETH: Very nice. It tastes so ...healthy.
CHRISTINE: Mm. You keep it. ...Did you hear from your doctors yet?
MARY BETH: It'll wait.
CHRISTINE: It's been two days!
MARY BETH: These things take time.
CHRISTINE: I can't believe we have to go through this whole thing all over again. Well, you go to those damn doctors and tell them come up with a verdict. (there is a long silence) What the... Have your present.
MARY BETH: (taking a watch out of a gift-wrapped box) Oh. Oh, this is beautiful. Thank you, Christine.
CHRISTINE: Yeah, well, you'll be on time now.
MARY BETH: A nice inscription too. Oh, it's too nice to wear. ...So ...how are things going with you and Lars?
CHRISTINE: I don't know, Mary Beth. Some relationships were made to last only a weekend. You know what I mean?
MARY BETH: Huh?
CHRISTINE: Well, trust me, ...I wanted a playmate. I got a roommate.
MARY BETH: Did you make your intentions clear?
CHRISTINE: What intentions? I never had any intentions.
MARY BETH: Does Lars know that?
CHRISTINE: He's just ...a kid! You know, I don't wanna hurt his feelings.
MARY BETH: Christine, you can't just shut your eyes and hope he goes away.
CHRISTINE: I know. I tried it.
MARY BETH: (after a chuckle) You made your pass and now you're gonna have to deal with it, one way or the other.
CHRISTINE: I hate it when you're sensible.
MARY BETH: Look at this (a truck draws up) It's a different trucking company.
CHRISTINE: Mm hm.
MARY BETH: (as the truck is loaded) Do you see any markings on those barrels?
(Chris throws he rest of the blend out of the car window. The truck drives off. The Squad car follows the truck to another warehouse)
(liquid from the truck is being pumped down a drain through a hose. Mary Beth comes up behind an operative)
MARY BETH: NYPD. Put down that hose. Switch it off!
(the operative switches of the pump)
OPERATIVE: What's the problem, lady?
MARY BETH: Do you wanna open up the back off the truck?
OPERATIVE: You got a warrant.
MARY BETH: (showing her shield) This is my warrant!
(there are carcasses of meat hanging in the truck with the barrels from Billy Boy Toys)
MARY BETH: Sergeant Cagney!
CHRISTINE: Yeah! (Chris escorts the trucker round) Oh, crap!
SELWAY: Yeah, well give me a break, ladies. I've got a fleet of trucks to run here.
MARY BETH: Mr. Selway, you and your fleet are gonna be in dry-dock unless you start to cooperate.
SELWAY: OK, Officers, you win. How about I just pay you here and save us all a lot of grief. So, what's the damage, huh? A couple of hundred bucks?
CHRISTINE: You just said the magic words.
MARY BETH: That stuff is gonna wind up in the ocean. We're all gonna be swimming in that junk. Food and poison in the same truck. And you don't give a damn? What if that food lands up in some school lunch. (flicking Selway's hair) Did you ever think about that?!
SELWAY: I can't always be responsible for everything those guys put in that truck.
CHRISTINE: Those guys are willing to testify that they were only following you orders.
SELWAY: Well, it's their word against mine, isn't it?
MARY BETH: (slapping him) I'm getting tired of your smart mouth, buster. Our laboratory people say that they found traces of toxic compound in everyone single one of your vehicles.
CHRISTINE: Along with the bribery charge that could give you a nice long vacation. I'd say all of about fourteen years.
SELWAY: Look ladies, my business is moving things from one place to another. I ain't looking to hurt anybody. I've gotta make a living. Do you know what I pay in taxes, gas and insurance?
CHRISTINE: You're breaking my heart.
MARY BETH: And you are poisoning children all over New York.
SELWAY: Yeah, well, if my guys don't transport that stuff, you see, lady, there's ten other guys waiting in line to do it.
CHRISTINE: Yeah, but we got you.
SELWAY: So, what do you want from me?
MARY BETH: Billy Wittington.
CHRISTINE: (rushing in) It's all set. Samuels is gonna give us Petrie and Esposito. We'll put a wire on 'em and they can ride with the truckers.
MARY BETH: (quickly covering Chris's new watch with her coat cuff) Good.
CHRISTINE: Good? I thought you wanted to nail Wittington.
MARY BETH: Good. How many more Wittingtons do you think there are?
CHRISTINE: Did you hear anything about your test yet?
MARY BETH: Nope.
CHRISTINE: You saw the doctor today?
MARY BETH: You know how busy doctors are.
CHRISTINE: You can't fool around with something like this, Mary Beth.
MARY BETH: Why are you so concerned about me for all of a sudden?
CHRISTINE: You're my partner. I care about you.
MARY BETH: Well, why didn't you ever ask me how I was feeling when Alice had the colic and we was stuck for all night for nine weeks straight? Or how I was doing Thanksgiving? When Muriel got so sick and Harvey was all concerned and I was cooking up the stores and we were all trying to remember to be thankful.
CHRISTINE: How the hell was I supposed to know about that?!
MARY BETH: You could have asked!!! Like I always ask!! How's Charlie doing?! Or how's your brother Brian, or David, or who the man is this week. But no. You wanna know how am I doing when you think I've got cancer! Tell the truth, Christine. Would you want the details if all I had was a broken leg!
CHRISTINE: You can't die from a broken leg, Mary Beth.
(Mary Beth turns and leaves)
(Mary Beth is sitting on the bed with a cardboard box and a lot of stuff)
HARVEY: (coming in his pyjamas) I am so sure she is dreaming, Mary Beth. She has all this stuff going on inside her head. She scrunches up her eyebrows. She puckers up her mouth. I would give anything to know what she is thinking. What are you doing here?
MARY BETH: I'm putting together some stuff.
HARVEY: What stuff?
MARY BETH: Old stuff. Organising drawers.
MARY BETH: Yeah.
HARVEY: It's pretty late.
MARY BETH: It's never too late.
MARY BETH: Your mother. She always said that.
HARVEY: Yeah? (picking up an earring) I gave you these on our fourth anniversary.
MARY BETH: Seventh.
HARVEY: Just checking.
MARY BETH: (taking the earring from him and picking up the other one) Alice is gonna love these. They're gonna have sentimental value because her father gave them to her mother. (he picks up a bundle of letters bound with a pink ribbon) Harvey!
HARVEY: These mine?
MARY BETH: Who else's?
HARVEY: I don't know.
MARY BETH: Come on, give 'em here.
HARVEY: Where did these come from?
(he lies back and grabs her and pulls her on top of him)
MARY BETH: Harvey! You know I'm a neat person and (as they wrestle) I like to be on top of things. My mother always told me I should wear clean underwear, so in case I was hit by a bus and I was laying in the street, I could have clean underwear.
(she throws her body on his arm as he tries to read the letters)
MARY BETH: In case I ever get hit by a bus, I'd like to have neat dresser drawers.
HARVEY: Oh yeah. Well how about doing mine?
MARY BETH: I won't be able to reply to these letters.
HARVEY: Ah ha.
MARY BETH: (giving him a peck) And I want to put all those photos in albums.
HARVEY: Ah ha. It's gonna get so neat around here, I won't be able to find anything.
MARY BETH: Another thing, Harve Lacey, no way your cousin Marie is getting my amethyst pin. You gave me this for my thirty-fifth birthday. Promise me you won't let Marie get her mitts on my pin.
MARY BETH: Do you remember when you got me that?
HARVEY: Mm hm.
MARY BETH: The snow. The boys were only young. We woke up in the morning. We were all snowed in.
HARVEY: Mm hm.
MARY BETH: And the drifts were a mile high.
HARVEY: I'm gonna get you a pair of skates. Next year we are going ice-skating.
(as Mary Beth kisses him, Alice starts screaming)
MARY BETH: I'll take care of her.
MARY BETH: What's wrong with you, huh? (she picks the baby up and cuddles her) You had a bad dream, huh?
(Mary Beth then begins to sob. Harvey comes in and cuddles them both)
(on stake out near the Baby Boy Toys warehouse yard]
CHRISTINE: So there we were, Lars and I, looking into each other's eyes over strawberry honey nectar. Suicide food.
MARY BETH: You should lose such a talented young man.
CHRISTINE: Yes, well, just like his many talents... I knew you were right, Mary Beth.
MARY BETH: I like it when you agree with me. What was I right about?
CHRISTINE: Well, I told him how amazing, really, that I thought it was that two people could be total strangers one day, and then the next ...day ...still total strangers.
MARY BETH: That's not very diplomatic.
CHRISTINE: Well, he didn't seem to catch my drift. I don't think subtlety's one of his strong points. So I just said What the heck! It's better to be straightforward and honest. Is that right?! (Mary Beth nods) So I handed him a bus ticket to Vermont. One way.
MARY BETH: I guess he got the point then.
CHRISTINE: Yes, he did. He didn't take as well as I had hoped. There he was, this huge Swede, standing in the street sobbing, while I was hailing him a cab. ...He's a sweet man actually. I'll look forward to missing him. (am long silence) Your turn!
MARY BETH: What?
CHRISTINE: I've been banging your ear for one half hour about my life. So, Mary Beth, how's your life?
MARY BETH: The doctor didn't get the results yet.
CHRISTINE: Well, you could have been considerate enough to have said so.
MARY BETH: I wasn't thinking about it.
CHRISTINE: Oh, bull! Why do you have to go round like The Lone Ranger?
MARY BETH: There is no point getting worked about something routine.
CHRISTINE: Right. Routine? Right. You've been going around all week with some stiff upper lip pretending that's there's nothing wrong.
MARY BETH: What are you getting on your high horse for?!
CHRISTINE: Just because I don't ask about Harvey and the boys and Alice Christine every day, it does not mean that I don't care about them.
MARY BETH: Some things are private.
CHRISTINE: Oh, private! Don't be so selfish!!
MARY BETH: Who are you calling 'selfish'! I am always here for you.
CHRISTINE: Then why in hell can't I be here for you!!
PETRIE: (on walkie-talkie) Good morning, ladies. We're around the corner, arriving momentarily.
CHRISTINE: You're not the only one to get scared, Mary Beth.
ESPOSITO: (on walkie-talkie) Buck Rogers to Control Tower. Buck Rogers to Control Tower. Planet Zoom is on the horizon. (just then a truck comes past and backs up to a loading bay) How does this gear work? Are you sure it's safe to handle these drums?
PETRIE: (on walkie-talkie) Just wear the gloves and you've got nothing to worry about.
[Baby Boy Toys warehouse yard]
(the shutter comes up and barrels are loaded onto the truck. Selway, who has been driving the truck, jumps up onto to loading bay where the plant manager is)
PLANT MANAGER: You were supposed to send a trucker in yesterday. What's the story? Huh? Huh?
SELWAY: Well, he freaked out on me too. I guaranteed to get the job finished today, so I had to do it myself.
PLANT MANAGER: You tell your guys to hurry up. We've got lots of goods to check in here today. (Selway pulls back the plant manager) Hey, have you got something for me?
(the plant manager hands Selway a wrapped bundle of money which he checks)
MARY BETH: Got him.
[Billy Boy Toys factory]
WITTINGTON: Good morning, Detective. What can I do for you?
MARY BETH: Sergeant?
MARY BETH: You're to come with us, sir.
WITTINGTON: What for? I've already given you my statement.
MARY BETH: Mr. Wittington, you're under arrest for the unlawful disposal of toxic waste.
WITTINGTON: This is about that cook, Roswell, isn't it?
CHRISTINE: Roswell warned you about your dumping.
WITTINGTON: I told my people to look into it. Ask my plant manager.
MARY BETH: This is your plant, sir.
WITTINGTON: This is ridiculous. I'm gonna call my lawyer.
MARY BETH: Fine sir. From the Precinct. Have you got a coat?
(Chris goes off)
WITTINGTON: I'm the President!! This is not my responsibility. It's not my fault!
(Chris comes back with his coat)
MARY BETH: Mr. Wittington, ...sir, not only is it entirely your responsibility and your fault, it is also your arse.
CHRISTINE: (as she helps him into his coat) You have the right to remain silent, Mr. Wittington. If you give up the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney and have the attorney present during questioning. Now if you so desire...
[Detectives' Squad room]
CHRISTINE: (to Petrie and Esposito) And then he said 'What if you close down Billy Boy Toys, think of all those little children'.
(Petrie and Esposito laugh)
PETRIE: Really humanitarian.
SAMUELS: Agent Lorca of the ERB called. You and Lacey put together a good case.
CHRISTINE: Well, thank you, Lieutenant.
SAMUELS: And your perp, Roswell, called to say thanks for all the help.
(Chris looks across to see Mary Beth putting on her gift watch)
CHRISTINE: We're only here to serve.
SAMUELS: Did you hear that, Lacey? Good work.
MARY BETH: Thank you, sir.
CHRISTINE: (coming up to Mary Beth) Great ...watch.
MARY BETH: Yeah, I like it.
CHRISTINE: You look kind of tired. I think we deserve to take off early today. What do you think?
MARY BETH: I don't know, Chris. I thought I'd finish up the files on Wittington before I go.
CHRISTINE: Mary Beth! A very wise person once said 'Never do today what you can put off 'til tomorrow'.
MARY BETH: Who said that?
CHRISTINE: Me. Come on. I'll buy the first drinks.
MARY BETH: Er, thank you, Chris, maybe I'll ...I'll take a rain check.
(Chris goes and chalks out)
CHRISTINE: See you tomorrow.
MARY BETH: Ah ha.
(Mary Beth's phone goes)
CHRISTINE: (into phone) Cagney, Fourteenth. (to Mary Beth) Dr. Larwin's office. (into phone) Hold on, please.
MARY BETH: (calling her back and holding her hand) Christine. (into phone brightly) This is Mrs. Lacey. ...Hello Dr. Larwin. ...Are you sure? ...Oh, Thank you. ...Oh, yes, thank you. ...Oh yes. ...Thank you.