The Gimp
Original Airdate: January 27, 1986

[Detectives' Squad room]

ISBECKI: (carrying a box) Cagney, I need a woman's opinion.
CHRISTINE: Isbecki, I'm up to my knees in this case. I'll deal with it later.
ISBECKI: Come on. This is my first baby shower. (Chris ignores him) Marcus! Marcus.
(Isbecki takes a red cowboy hat out of the box and puts it on)
ISBECKI: Hey. Hat. Er?
PETRIE: Oh yes.
ISBECKI: Guns.
PETRIE: Ah ha.
ISBECKI: Vest.
PETRIE: Yeah. It's you, Victor.
ISBECKI: (as Petrie walks away) Yeah.
COLEMAN: Ted Peters requests Sergeant Cagney.
CHRISTINE: Again! Will you just tell Peters I'll call him later?
COLEMAN: I have. Every time he's called. Now you can do it personally.
CHRISTINE: What's, he here?!
COLEMAN: In the parking bay. All I know is that he asked McAfee to send Georgia, McAfee asked Coney. Coney asked me.
CHRISTINE: (going out) What? He can't find the front door?
COLEMAN: I don't explain 'em, I just deliver 'em!

[Precinct House yard]

CHRISTINE: (shouting from the entrance) Mr. Peters!!! Where the hell are ya?! And why the...
TED PETERS: (appearing in a wheelchair. He has only one leg) ...hell didn't I come into the building. Well, ask the truck driver why he's blocking this ramp.
CHRISTINE: (deflated) Sorry you are inconvenienced.
TED PETERS: (coming up and offering his hand) Well, I'm sure you are. ...Ted Peters.
CHRISTINE: (shaking his hand) Sergeant Cagney.
TED PETERS: You know, you really should be wearing a coat.
CHRISTINE: I didn't expect it to take long.
TED PETERS: Oh, you've only come just down here to ask me why I've been calling you. Tell me to stop and be back at your desk in thirty seconds.
CHRISTINE: I figure twenty. What is it you want Mr. Peters?
TED PETERS: I wanna know why you haven't gotten anywhere with these wheelchair muggings.
CHRISTINE: You want an update on my case?!
TED PETERS: I have called you five times.
CHRISTINE: Er, look Mr. Peters, when I crack this case and when I have something concrete to tell you, and as it stands now, and I'm very cold, and there is a man out there who is victimising handicapped persons. And the sooner I get back to my desk, the faster we will have him off the streets. So if you'll excuse me.
TED PETERS: (as she turns to go back in) Sergeant Cagney, I would like to help you find him. (giving her his card) I am with the Eisley Foundation. Washington DC. Maybe you have heard of us? We operate centres for people with disabilities. Now we have resources in our New York branch that might be very useful to you.
CHRISTINE: Mr. Peters, I am on this investigation. I am also late for an interview regarding this investigation. But I promise you, should I hit a snag, I will certainly be in touch.
TED PETERS: (as she turns to go back in again) Being in a wheelchair, I know how people in my situation can get into trouble.
CHRISTINE: One of them is telling me how to do my job. Now I do appreciate concerned citizens.
TED PETERS: But no one likes a pain in the neck.
CHRISTINE: Exactly.
TED PETERS: So ...don't be a pain on the neck. Good day, Sergeant.

[Samuels' office]

(Samuels is sitting at his desk)
KNELMAN: I don't like hearing that one of my officers was rude.
CHRISTINE: If anything, Inspector, it was he who was rude to me!
DANIELS: You know, this Department has a policy of being responsive to all citizens.
KNELMAN: Yeah, and that goes double for cripples.
DANIELS: Er, Inspector, I think that the term 'physically challenged' or 'physically inconvenienced' would be more appropriate.
KNELMAN: Yeah, well, whatever. Anyway it was also implied that you're dragging your heels on this case.
CHRISTINE: That is not true! I spent all morning interviewing victims. I've been breaking my tail on this!
KNELMAN: Well, that's not enough, Cagney! It may surprise you but some of us here are concerned with the image of this Department.
DANIELS: Right. Thank God Mr. Peters came to us instead of the Press.
KNELMAN: Yes. Now what I want you to do is to apologise to Peters ...in person! I want you to answer all his questions. And I want you to continually update him until you break the case.
CHRISTINE: Assuming that I do. With the time that's been left over for work.
KNELMAN: Sergeant, I would appreciate less in the way of attitude and more in the way of results. ...Do I make myself clear? (as he goes to leave) Oh, and Bert, for God's sakes, don't let that ramp get blocked again.

[Peters' office]

CHRISTINE: The reason I called. ...I wanted to apologise if I gave you the wrong impression this morning.
TED PETERS: You mean to say you weren't really cold?
CHRISTINE: The Police Department is, of course, most eager to find the wheelchair mugger and we thought you might like to know where we are on the case.
TED PETERS: Yes, that would be nice.
CHRISTINE: Most of the attacks occurred within a few blocks of where the victims lived. I am running computer checks now to find what else the victims have in common. We hope that will help tell us how the mugger finds his victims and then, in turn, lead us to the assailant.
TED PETERS: Oh, what have those wondrous machines come up with?
CHRISTINE: So far ...not much.
TED PETERS: Mm hm.
CHRISTINE: But, please know, that solving this case is a top priority.
TED PETERS: Yeah. How many cases you got, Sergeant? My guess is, too many.
CHRISTINE: Look, Mr. Peters, I know what a ...threat this situation must pose to these ...physically challenged...
TED PETERS: Oh, that's a nice euphemism. (he also only has one arm) I'm partially gimp myself, but you can use whatever term makes you comfortable.
CHRISTINE: Nothing ...makes me feel comfortable about this case. OK?! I just wanna catch the guy and put him behind bars, and if my hunch is correct, the computer will make that connection today and I will find the mugger tomorrow and if that is not fast enough that's (her voice begins to break up) the best that I can do.
TED PETERS: Now, look Sergeant, I know that you were told to come here, use acceptable words and control your temper. You see I understand how your Brass operates.
CHRISTINE: Are you and Knelman buddies or something?
TED PETERS: Sure. We go bowling together.
CHRISTINE: You think you're funny?
TED PETERS: I know I couldn't be a stand-up comic.
CHRISTINE: Well, you also couldn't be a detective, Mr. Peters. So why don't you just back off? ...Or roll off. Or whatever it is you do.
TED PETERS: (as she turns to go) Would you believe, figure-of-eights?
(she leaves)

[Chris's loft]

(Chris is pouring herself a generous shot of Scotch. As she takes her first swig there is a knock at the door. She looks through the peephole)
CHRISTINE: Mary Beth!!! (opening the door) What are you doing here?
MARY BETH: I wanna talk to you.
CHRISTINE: What about your...
MARY BETH: If you say one word to me about my condition, Christine, I swear I'll hit ya. I couldn't stay in that apartment another minute even if I was having ten babies. (they both talk at once and then) I'm grateful, Christine, but I hate the idea of this baby shower.
CHRISTINE: You're not supposed to know about that!!
MARY BETH: Well I do and I want you and Harvey to call it off.
CHRISTINE: Hey! You know I don't like baby showers. I don't go to baby showers and I certainly don't throw them! You're the one who loves baby showers!!
MARY BETH: Other people's baby showers.
CHRISTINE: Do you know how many hours it took me to talk the guys into going to this thing?
MARY BETH: See, that's exactly what I mean! They're gonna be miserable and I'm gonna be miserable. What's the point?
CHRISTINE: The point is they all bought you a present and I spent a long time trying to pull this damn thing together. And I can't get the money back on the room.
MARY BETH: Well, I appreciate the thought, Christine, but it's the wrong one.
CHRISTINE: Oh, please don't do this to me, Mary Beth. All right? I've had a rough day dealing with a concerned citizen and I've had it.
MARY BETH: You've had it? You're not eight months pregnant.
CHRISTINE: That's the good news. At least there's an end in sight for you. I don't know for how long I will have to report to Peters.
MARY BETH: Who is Peters?
CHRISTINE: It's this guy who leaned on Knelman, and now Knelman's leaning on me.
MARY BETH: If you've invited Knelman, I will never forgive you!
CHRISTINE: He likes everything his own way. He manipulates people and he doesn't know how to take 'No' for an answer. (as she pours herself another shot of Scotch) Just like somebody who doesn't want a baby shower.
MARY BETH: I did.
CHRISTINE: He thinks he's charming. I happen to think that he's obnoxious!
MARY BETH: Giving people parties they don't want. That's obnoxious.
CHRISTINE: Covers it by doing the one-liners all the time. Mae West! You know that type! Are you listening to me?
MARY BETH: Yes, I am.
CHRISTINE: I'm telling you, Mary Beth, if he wasn't already in a wheelchair, I'd put him in one!
MARY BETH: He's in a wheelchair?!
CHRISTINE: Yeah, I told you that!
MARY BETH: No, you didn't! You didn't mention that 'til now.
CHRISTINE: Well, he is. That's why I have to be nice to him. ...He's such a jerk!
MARY BETH: First you go round playing at baby showers and then you and talk that way about somebody who's handicapped!
CHRISTINE: Physically inconvenienced! Can you top that!!
MARY BETH: I am that. Can I use your bathroom?
(Chris goes and blocks Mary Beth getting to the bathroom door)
CHRISTINE: Are you coming to the shower?
MARY BETH: Christine?
CHRISTINE: Will you come to the shower, ...please.
MARY BETH: I'll be there. Feeling horrible, ...and I hope it makes you happy.
CHRISTINE: (shouting through the door) You better damn well look surprised!!!

[Detectives' Squad room]

SAMUELS: So what you're telling me is the computer's come up dry.
CHRISTINE: One more run through the MO file is bound to turn up something.
SAMUELS: And meanwhile the mugger is still out there preying on easy targets.
CHRISTINE: I will find him! I just need a little more time. Now what is one more week, Lieutenant?
SAMUELS: Too much. That's what. The Press is having a field day on this, Cagney. If you don't come up with a lead by tomorrow, I assure you that Knelman is gonna turn this over to the Borough Task Force.
CHRISTINE: He can't do that!
SAMUELS: He can, and he will, Cagney.
CHRISTINE: Lieutenant, I have done all the legwork on this thing. If Knelman turns it over to the Task Force....
SAMUELS: ...it won't look very good. If I were you, I would come up with something else.
(Chris stomps back to her desk and gets out Peters' card. She picks up the phone)

[Eisley Foundation main office]

(there are handicapped people amongst the staff)
TED PETERS: Four years ago we were nothing more than a two-office storefront. Today we've got fifty employees. And just as many services. We've got Educational Counselling, Legal Aid, Travel Agencies, a monthly newsletter. Say, sometimes it's hard to keep up.
CHRISTINE: Yes, I can appreciate that.
(a woman comes out of an office)
ANGELA: Ted!
TED PETERS: Angie!
(she gives him a full-on kiss)
ANGELA: You owe me dinner.
TED PETERS: Oh, lobster at the Mandarin's Garden. I hadn't forgotten. I won't forget.
ANGELA: Call me.
TED PETERS: I will. That was Angela Matheson, our Public Relations coordinator.
CHRISTINE: A tight-knit organisation you run here.
TED PETERS: Well, we don't like to discriminate against the able-bodied. (as a woman walks past) Oh, Norma, did you tell Carl.
NORMA: Oh, I left a message with his executive.
TED PETERS: Could you give me the resource file, please?
NORMA: Yeah, coming up.
TED PETERS: Er, what it is, is a list of wheelchair accessible buildings, right? Theatres, restaurants, health clubs, to see if we can come up with a common denominator.
CHRISTINE: You mentioned a newsletter. Who has access to the mailing.
TED PETERS: That's on the computer printout. (Norma puts the resource file on his lap) Everyone who works here.
CHRISTINE: (indicating the resource file) Well, may I look at that and a list of employees?
TED PETERS: Yeah, past and present.

[Squad car]

CHRISTINE: (into radio as it drives into a cab company parking lot) Can you please get me a computer printout on Pierce taxis, Queens. I'll take that when I get back from interviewing the witnesses.
POLICE RADIO: Ten-four.

[Pierce Cab Co. garage]

CHRISTINE: ... Is there anyone else that would have seen him when he arrived?
KURTZ: No, just Mr. Jenkins laying on the sidewalk all beat up.
CHRISTINE: Do you know what he was doing at that address.
KURTZ: Well, he was seeing this girl. You know what I mean?
CHRISTINE: Did he see this girl often?
KURTZ: Now that's nobody's business but his, lady.
CHRISTINE: Sergeant!
KURTZ: Look, I've got a cab to clean up.
CHRISTINE: You have my sympathy, Mr. Kurtz, but I'm running an official investigation here. Now all of the mugging victims have used your cab company on a regular basis.
KURTZ: What's the big deal? The word got around that we don't mind handling the wheelchairs. They're good tippers, so we don't have to mug 'em.
CHRISTINE: I wasn't suggesting that you do. Who takes the calls?
KURTZ: Oh, that would be Jimmy, the dispatcher. Oh, ha, ha. Now, wait a minute, you're not saying that Jimmy is a mugger, huh?
CHRISTINE: I'd like to talk to Jimmy.
KURTZ: Sure Sergeant. Hey, Jimmy, somebody out here wants to see ya!
(an elderly woman comes out of the despatch office)
CHRISTINE: Jimmy?!

[Detectives' Squad room]

(Ted Peters comes in)
TED PETERS: I didn't think you'd still be here, but I bet you work as long and as hard as I do.
CHRISTINE: You've got a real competitive streak, ain't you, Peters.
TED PETERS: I thought I'd bring these by. Resource files for the Tri-Staters. I thought they'd be some help.
CHRISTINE: Mm. Thanks a lot. I appreciate it.
TED PETERS: How's it going?
CHRISTINE: Do you want the PR response or do you want the truth?
TED PETERS: Well, I like a woman who levels.
CHRISTINE: OK. I found out that all the victims used the Pierce taxi company. That's terrific, except that all the people at the Pierce taxi company check out. So I'm back to square one.
TED PETERS: You look tired. I bet you haven't eaten.
CHRISTINE: Yeah. I was hoping to get something on the way home.
TED PETERS: I know a great Italian restaurant downtown, Bochelli's. Did you ever hear of it?
CHRISTINE: No, but I'll try it some time. Thanks.
TED PETERS: No, I was talking about tonight. ...With me.
CHRISTINE: Well, I have to get up early in the morning and... then I have all this work I haven't even done yet. But it was nice of you to ask me.
TED PETERS: No, I'm talking about real fettuccini here , like momma used to make.
CHRISTINE: Yeah.
TED PETERS: My momma never cooked.
CHRISTINE: I can't really. Thanks.
TED PETERS: Your loss. ...Never mind. You know what I wanna do with you and all this. I want to leave it all alone. I want to order the fettuccini and the lasagne. Can I use your phone?
CHRISTINE: Sure.
TED PETERS: (as he dials) It's probably been bugged. (into phone) Yeah. Could you send a cab to the Fourteenth Precinct Station House please. And could you tell the driver that I'm in a wheelchair.
CHRISTINE: Do you always say that?!

[Samuels' office]

CHRISTINE: We know people monitor the police bands, so maybe this guy's been monitoring the calls to the cab drivers!
SAMUELS: Yes, but that's still no reason to put you out as a decoy.
CHRISTINE: What else are we gonna do, Lieutenant. Every lead has dead-ended. I think we've gotta bring the man to us.
SAMUELS: Of all the people in wheelchairs in this city, what do you think the odds are that he's gonna pick the one guy who happens to be a cop?
CHRISTINE: So I'll take lots of cabs. I'll take lots and lots of cabs! And you can give Petrie and Isbecki as back up.
SAMUELS: I can't take three detectives off the chart!
CHRISTINE: Lieutenant, this is a very important case. You told Knelman we would get results. ...I don't know how to do it except go undercover.
SAMUELS: I can't have this guy following you all the way back to your own apartment.
CHRISTINE: Well, maybe the Department will rent me a place!
SAMUELS: Maybe the Department will send me to Europe.
TED PETERS: She could stay at my place. I've got an extra bedroom. And there's the building. It's wheelchair accessible.
SAMUELS: No thank you, Mr. Peters, I'm sorry but we don't like to have civilians involved in these kind of cases.
TED PETERS: Well, I'll sign any release form you want. The apartment's free ...and so are the lessons.
SAMUELS: Lessons?!
TED PETERS: Yeah. She's gonna have to have someone teach her how to manoeuvre on of these things.

[Peters' apartment yard]

(Chris is in a wheelchair)
TED PETERS: Slow. ...Turn!!! (Chris turns one and a half times) Go back up. Are you having fun?
CHRISTINE: Yes. I'm just telling my arms to stop hurting.
TED PETERS: Oh, that depends on what kind of shape you're in to begin with.
CHRISTINE: Good, I thought.
TED PETERS: It looks that way to me. Come this way. ...Oh, oh. Good. Stop!! Brakes! Great invention, brakes, huh?
CHRISTINE: I was thinking about this man who invented the wheel. (she rubs her elbow) I'm beginning to hurt here.
TED PETERS: I'll make it better. (rubbing it for her) You know, if it's any consolation, what you did today took me about a week to learn.
CHRISTINE: Really!!
TED PETERS: Yeah.
CHRISTINE: Good.
TED PETERS: Yeah.
CHRISTINE: ...When did it happen to you?
TED PETERS: Six years ago. Head on collision. The other guy lost weight.
CHRISTINE: I hope they threw the book at the bastard who was responsible.
TED PETERS: Well, they were going to but they figured that, well, I'd been punished enough.
CHRISTINE: I'll remember that.
TED PETERS: I was in advertising at the time. Had my own company. I was doing pretty good. I guess I could have stayed with it but you know, Madison Avenue. Client meetings every day. ...Anyway, what I'm doing now I find much more gratifying.
CHRISTINE: Do you wanna take me to the ice rink on Sunday?
TED PETERS: (flicking her scarf back round her neck) No, I'm teaching a cop to how to do figure-of-eights in a wheelchair.
CHRISTINE: (she smiles) I'll bring my stuff in the morning.
TED PETERS: Oh. You know, I wanna give you the key just in case I'm not there.
CHRISTINE: Thank you.
TED PETERS: Don't worry about this thing. You're gonna be fine.
CHRISTINE: As long as I remember my brakes!
TED PETERS: You'll never pass until you do.

[Baby shower]

CHRISTINE: (looking up the stairs) All right, all right. Here they come!
ALL: Surprise!!!
MARY BETH: Oh, my Lord! (pushing Harvey) It's a baby shower!! Ha, ha, ha, ha.
(the duo points at each other)
CHRISTINE: Here she is!
(Mary Beth comes in and is greeted by everybody)
MARY BETH: (pushing Harvey again) And he tells me we were going out for a pizza!
ISBECKI: You look great, Mary Beth.
PETRIE: She looks tremendous!
HARVEY: (pointing to her stomach) Tremendous!!
(Petrie then looks embarrassed and the general laughter dies down realising Mary Beth isn't that amused)
MARY BETH: You wanna sit down, Mary Beth?
HARVEY: Here. Sitting's good for ya.
CHRISTINE: Great dress!
MARY BETH: What do mean by 'great'?
ISBECKI: Hey, this is fun. I've never been to a baby shower before.
PETRIE: Yes, you have.
ISBECKI: When?
PETRIE: Claudia's.
(silence)
CORASSA: Well, I'm new at this. What do you do at these things anyway? Huh?
(they all look at one another)
CHRISTINE: You guys wanna drink?! ...Milk, Mary Beth?!

[Ted Peters' apartment]

(Chris lets herself in. Ted is exercising his arm with weights)
CHRISTINE: Oh, hi.
TED PETERS: Hey, I didn't think you'd get here so early.
CHRISTINE: I didn't mean to barge in. I thought you'd have be gone by now.
TED PETERS: Well, my breakfast appointment cancelled out on me.
CHRISTINE: I'm sorry. Next time I'll knock.
TED PETERS: Well, listen, unless I can be arrested for what I'm doing here, why don't we both relax? (taking her round) That's the bathroom there. I want you to know that I don't make space in my medicine cabinet for just anyone, you know?
CHRISTINE: Ha. I'll remember that when I write you my thank-you note.
TED PETERS: The 'H' on the tap stands for 'hardly warm'.
CHRISTINE: That makes me feel right at home.
TED PETERS: I've put your wheelchair in the closet here. I've cleared some space out for you. I figured you were a clothes-person.
CHRISTINE: Well, actually I packed very lightly. We only have a week for this. ...Oh, can I use your phone?
TED PETERS: Sure.
(Chris checks the body microphone she is wearing)
TED PETERS: Hey, I wanna thank you for what you're doing. I think it's great.
CHRISTINE: (as he puts the strap of her handbag back on her shoulder which has slipped) Thank you.
TED PETERS: It takes a lot of guts.
CHRISTINE: Nah. It just takes a badge.
TED PETERS: You're brave.
CHRISTINE: A hero on wheels.
TED PETERS: That's what I thought when I first met you.
CHRISTINE: Yeah.
(she dials)
CHRISTINE: (into phone) Yes. Would you please send a driver to six-two-...
TED PETERS: Eight.
CHRISTINE: (into phone) ...eight-two-six, Madison Avenue. And please tell them that I'm in a wheelchair.

[Squad car]

(Petrie and Isbecki are in the van opposite Peters' apartment block)
CHRISTINE: (on radio) Hey guys, here I come. (as she wheels out) Everything working?
(Isbecki gives her the thumbs up. The Pierce Cab Co. taxi arrives. Having picked Chris up it then stops somewhere in Manhattan. The driver gets out the wheelchair and lifts Chris into it)

[Manhattan street]

(later Chris is sitting waiting on a pavement. She sees a little boy looking at her. The boy waves and Chris smiles and waves back)
MOTHER: Jeffrey! (to Chris) I'm terribly sorry. Jeffrey, say 'I'm sorry' for staring at the lady like that.
CHRISTINE: Oh no, that's all right.
MOTHER: Still, no, he has to learn. Jeffrey, say 'I'm sorry'. Jeffrey! Say 'I'm sorry'.
JEFFREY: I'm sorry.
CHRISTINE: Right.
MOTHER: (to Jeffrey) Thank you. Come on.
(later Chris goes to a payphone. She has difficulty putting the coin in. After other cab rides, as it gets dark she arrives back outside Peters' apartment block. A couple of drunks stumble over her. Petrie and Isbecki are still watching)

[Squad car]

CHRISTINE: (on radio) That's it, fellas, I'm gonna call it a day.

[Peters' living room]

(Chris is stretched out on the settee, asleep. Peters pulls blanket up over her, waking her up)
CHRISTINE: Ohhh. ...Hi.
TED PETERS: I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you.
CHRISTINE: I guess I just fell asleep. What time is it.
TED PETERS: A little after nine.
CHRISTINE: Are you just in?
TED PETERS: Oh, a long meeting.
CHRISTINE: Yeah.
TED PETERS: Hey! How did it go?
CHRISTINE: Oh. A long day. I knew it was going to be rough getting around. I know. I expected that. The people in this city are... They don't wanna look at you. You know, (raising her hand above her head) they all look up here. And... And once they do look at you, they're so damn patronising, you just wanna kill them. ...My arms have got real sores. ...So I took a hot bath.
TED PETERS: You OK?
CHRISTINE: Mm. I just got a headache. Am I giving you one?
TED PETERS: No.
CHRISTINE: I'd kill for an aspirin.
(throughout this he has looked straight at her)
TED PETERS: You've probably have a headache because you've been looking up at everybody. Your neck muscles aren't used to it. Here. Come here, I'll give you an exercise. (she sits up opposite him) Take your neck and do like this. (he begins to touch her neck) ...From side ...to side. That's it. Slowly. ...Now the other way. ...Back. That's good. Relieve some of that tension. ...Don't pull! Just stretch.
CHRISTINE: Is this a round about way of telling me you're out of aspirin?
TED PETERS: (as he continues to touch her neck) I don't believe in aspirin.
CHRISTINE: I know a man who thought that way about capital punishment.
TED PETERS: Huh. (as she pushes her head backwards) No, no, no, no. (putting his hand behind her head) Keep your head straight.
CHRISTINE: I've been trying to do that for years.
TED PETERS: Well, what I want you to do is to pretend to touch your ear to your shoulder. Right? ...All the way. (fingering her neck) That's where it gets you. Right there. That's where the tension builds up. ...And now the other way.
(she looks up at him. He gives her a gentle kiss. He continues to fondle her neck and kisses her again, long and hard. He undoes her blouse. She continues to kiss him. He pushes her blouse off her shoulders and it drops away. Her slip shoulder strap has fallen down. She looks down and then they carry on)

[Laceys' kitchen]

(in the middle of the night Harvey is washing up. Mary Beth comes in and picks up a tea towel)
HARVEY: Honey, I'll do the dishes.
MARY BETH: I need the exercise.
HARVEY: Damn it. I could use a little exercise. That's OK.
MARY BETH: What do you mean by that?!
HARVEY: What you said. I mean, sitting around, taking it easy. Maybe you could use the exercise.
MARY BETH: I've got fat! Is that what you mean?
HARVEY: I did not say that, Mary Beth.
MARY BETH: Yeah, but that's what you meant though, isn't it?!
HARVEY: That's it!! I can't win! Anything I say, you nail me to the wall!
MARY BETH: That is not true!!
HARVEY: The hell it isn't!! You know, I'm just glad you weren't this way with the other two!
MARY BETH: Oh yeah! Because if I had, there wouldn't be a third. Is that what you're saying?!
HARVEY: Let me tell you something, Mary Beth. Living with you this past week has been a roaring pain in the butt, and I am damn tired of it!!!
MARY BETH: (carrying on with the wiping up) I'm a little bit irritable.
HARVEY: A little bit irritable? That's like saying you're a little bit pregnant!
MARY BETH: Oh, funny, Harvey! That's very funny. How would you like to carry around thirty-six extra pounds for two months?! How would you like to retain enough water to float a battleship?!! My shoes are too small! My elasticised waistbands are too tight! I sit down and I'm uncomfortable! I stand up, my ankles swell! I lay down, my back hurts! Being pregnant is not easy, Harvey, and if you think it is, try it some time!!
HARVEY: Honey, if I could have this baby for ya, I would.
MARY BETH: Yeah?! Would you have gone to that shower?
(he shakes his head)
MARY BETH: Everybody's saying a pregnant lady's so beautiful. I don't feel beautiful., Harvey, I feel big ..and heavy and clumsy.
HARVEY: Oh, honey, I swear to you you're not heavy and clumsy. ...Just big.
MARY BETH: Ooh. Nice Harve.
HARVEY: It just means there's more of you to love.
(she slaps him across the stomach with the tea towel. He gives her a hug)

[Ted Peters' spare bedroom]

TED PETERS: Good morning.
(Chris is wrapped in a sheet, kneeling and looking under the bed)
CHRISTINE: Hi.
(Ted Peters comes in with a breakfast tray)
TED PETERS: Did you sleep well?
CHRISTINE: Oh, yes. Very well, thanks. Have you seen my shoes?
TED PETERS: Yeah, they're in the living room.
CHRISTINE: Oh.
TED PETERS: I hope I didn't wake you. I get up pretty early.
CHRISTINE: Yeah, I see you do.
TED PETERS: I thought we'd make the best omelette ... in the City.
CHRISTINE: Well, it looks wonderful, but I can't stay.
TED PETERS: It's Saturday all day.
(he gives her a kiss)
CHRISTINE: I know, but I have plans. (she gets to her feet) Excuse me
TED PETERS: Well, Chris, ...stay for breakfast.
CHRISTINE: Oh, I'm sorry Ted, but I er, have to go somewhere else. ...A brunch!!
(she flees through the lounge towards the bathroom picking up her clothes as she goes)
TED PETERS: Do you know what time it is?
CHRISTINE: Oh well, I'll stay for breakfast, maybe, and then I have to go shopping. I'm so worried about being a clothes-person. And then I have to do my laundry. You know, some people are so good at running homes, but I just never got the hang of it. So I will call you later, I promise.
TED PETERS: Chris! ...Chris, the mornings after are always tough. And there are things here that make them tougher. I know that. I don't know about you but I sure had a great time last night.
CHRISTINE: I did too. I just have to go now.

[Corridor outside the Lacey's apartment]

(Chris knocks at the door. Mary Beth opens it)
CHRISTINE: (holding up one of the bags she is carrying) Good morning, Mary Beth. I brought breakfast!
MARY BETH: No one wants to cook on a Saturday!

[Laceys' lounge/kitchen]

CHRISTINE: (coming in and going in to the kitchen) Hi ya. I've brought bagels and cream cheese rolls. Fresh orange juice.
(realising Mary Beth has not followed her, she goes back and sees Mary Beth still standing by the door. Mary Beth slowly closes the door)
CHRISTINE: (quietly) The rest of the family sleeping in this morning?
MARY BETH: (looking at a watch she is holding) Seven thirty-four on a weekend morning. I wouldn't call that sleeping in.
CHRISTINE: (looking at her wrist) Seven thirty? Oh, I lost my watch. Did I wake you up?! I thought breakfast would be a nice idea!!
MARY BETH: To check the hour with a phone call is a nice idea.
CHRISTINE: Excuse me! Next time I'll call and make an appointment!!
MARY BETH: Christine. (Chris has gathered up the bags) It's all right. It's OK. I'm getting used to your surprises lately.
CHRISTINE: The baby shower wasn't that bad, was it?
MARY BETH: Do you wanna know the best part? ...It's over. (she takes the bags) OK. What's the problem? ...What?
CHRISTINE: That Ted Peters. ...I like him, Mary Beth.
MARY BETH: You came over here at this hour to tell me something I knew four days ago.
CHRISTINE: I like him a lot.
MARY BETH: Is that the problem?
CHRISTINE: (after a pause) I slept with him last night.
MARY BETH: That could be a problem!
CHRISTINE: I just... I don't know ...if I wanna get involved.
MARY BETH: Yeah.
CHRISTINE: I mean, I don't wanna string him along. I've gotta make a decision, Mary Beth.
MARY BETH: Now?!!!
CHRISTINE: I don't wanna hurt him.
MARY BETH: I never heard you say that about anybody before.
CHRISTINE: Well, he's not exactly like anybody I've been with before.
MARY BETH: Because he's in a wheelchair?
CHRISTINE: Well, you can't pretend it doesn't exist.
MARY BETH: I wasn't going to.
CHRISTINE: I have a life that I lead. A life that I enjoy. He would be left out. ...I ski. You know I love to ski. I ski all the time! ...Providing we have a nice winter. I mean, a big downhill run and he's stuck there in the lodge, all there by himself.
MARY BETH: Ah ha.
CHRISTINE: Well, it's just not that I ski. ...I jog. ...I go to the theatre. ...I like ball games. ...I'm a very active person!
MARY BETH: And he isn't?
CHRISTINE: I didn't say that. Did you hear me say that once?
MARY BETH: Well, what is it then?
CHRISTINE: I don't know if I can handle this relationship.
MARY BETH: Oh, Chris, you're trying to make a decision about something that you don't know a lot about. Take your time.
CHRISTINE: I don't have any time! What do you mean, take my time. I have to go back and I have to face him. I don't know what to say to him. I really want to be with Ted. I just don't know if I have the guts.
(the duo looks long and hard at one another)

[Samuels' office]

(Chris rushes in, knocking)
SAMUELS: Yeah. What?
CHRISTINE: Lieutenant, may I speak with you?
SAMUELS: I thought you were on decoy duty.
CHRISTINE: That's what I wanted to talk to you about. I need a new base of operations. Peters' place is not working out.
SAMUELS: Wait a minute, Cagney. After I sell the Brass on funding this set up, now you're gonna tell me it's not working out?
CHRISTINE: No! The operation is viable. It's just that the location is wrong.
SAMUELS: This whole idea was yours, Cagney!
CHRISTINE: I know it. But using Peters' apartment was his. And I'm telling you the that area is just too well travelled.
SAMUELS: Well, you should have thought of that before I sold Knelman on it!!
CHRISTINE: It's just too busy for a mugging to take place, Lieutenant!
SAMUELS: I know that you've got some kind of problem with Peters. But I want you to put that aside!! Nailing the perp, that's all that should matter here!
(Chris turns and walks out)

[Peters' living room]

TED PETERS: (into phone) Well I talked to him before I left. Who am I talking to? (seeing Chris coming in dark glasses and a big hat) I gotta go. ...No, tell him I'll get a plane. I told him I'd get in there. ...Bye. (he rings off) Hoping I wouldn't recognise you?
CHRISTINE: Er, ...no. Just hoping the mugger, if he's around, wouldn't. Where's my microphone?
TED PETERS: I put it in the table there. ...Along with your watch. ...What are you doing?
CHRISTINE: Oh. ...I hoped that we could talk.
TED PETERS: I do too. I thought that you were gonna call me. ...After your shopping and laundry, of course. You know, despite my swagger, I'm usually not treated like a one-night stand.
CHRISTINE: Sorry.
TED PETERS: Me too. ...I tried calling.
CHRISTINE: I'm not listed.
TED PETERS: Yeah, I found out. Can you give me clue why you vanished? Only, I thought it went pretty well.
CHRISTINE: It did. I told you that it was great.
TED PETERS: Damn it Chris, I was worried about you.
CHRISTINE: You shouldn't have been. (moving out her wheelchair) Look I've gotta go, please. The guys are waiting on me.
TED PETERS: Let them wait! Talk to me, Chris!
CHRISTINE: I can't! Please understand, when this is over, we will talk.

[Manhattan street]

(Chris as just been dropped off by the Pierce Cab Co. She turns to go down off the kerb. A man helps her by turning her round and taking her down backwards. She thanks him and crosses the street. Petrie and Isbecki watch. As the day progresses nothing seems to be happening)
CHRISTINE: (into microphone) I'm gonna try down this alley.

[Alley]

(a drunk gets up and staggers past her. She puts her hand on her gun inside her coat)
CHRISTINE: (into microphone) OK guys, I've had enough.
(later they watch her go into Peters' apartment building)

[Corridor outside lift on Peters' floor in his apartment building]

(a mugger grabs her from behind)

[Squad car]

CHRISTINE: (on radio) Petrie!!!
(Petrie and Isbecki leap out)

[Corridor outside lift on Peters' floor in his apartment building]

(the mugger with his hand over her mouth is dragging her in the wheelchair towards the stairs)
MUGGER: Come on. We're going for a little ride down the stairs.

[Staircase]

(Chris manages to fight him off as he gets her through the door and he tumbles to a lower landing)
CHRISTINE: (standing up, gun drawn) Freeze!! Police!!!
(Petrie and Isbecki appear at that moment)

[Chris's loft]

(Chris is lighting a candle on the table. He takes her hand)
CHRISTINE: Of course, you know, I don't cook dinner for just anybody.
TED PETERS: Shall I considered myself honoured?
CHRISTINE: Well, I think you better taste it first.
TED PETERS: Oh, I tell you, I wish I could have seen the look on that guy's face when you stood up. Ha, ha, ha.
CHRISTINE: Yeah.
TED PETERS: It could have been the same kind of look that was on your face when you woke up in my bed the other morning.
CHRISTINE: I just better check on dinner. ...Do you like veal?
TED PETERS: Yes.
CHRISTINE: I love to make veal. It's the way you have to pound away at it. It's the easy way to prepare it. ...The old Cordon Bleu veal? ...Veal Parmesan? I was wondering what we'd talk about. Maybe we could save subjects like chicken and beef 'til after dinner.
(she brings the dish to the table and sits down)
TED PETERS: Great. I was wrong expecting you spend the weekend with me. I mean, I had no right to make that assumption. I'm sorry.
CHRISTINE: I wanted to spend the weekend with you, but I just couldn't get my head around it.
TED PETERS: Of course.
(he pours champagne)
CHRISTINE: Why are you so terrific?
TED PETERS: Maybe I have a gift.
CHRISTINE: Ha.
TED PETERS: Well, here's to...
CHRISTINE: Tall ships and a good wind.
TED PETERS: And a job well done.
(they toast and drink)
CHRISTINE: Thank you. (about the champagne) Mmmm. I don't deserve it.
TED PETERS: Well, I figured you deserved the best. ...Well, shall we eat?
CHRISTINE: I wanna tell you what I've been thinking about first.
TED PETERS: Is this gonna spoil my appetite?
CHRISTINE: Oh, I hope not. ..I've given this a lot of thought. ...I was frightened, ...because I didn't think that I could handle this. But now I've gotten to know you...
TED PETERS: Christine, hold it a minute. Give me your hand. ...Let me talk first.

[Laceys' kitchen lounge]

(Chris is on the settee. Mary Beth is in the kitchen)
CHRISTINE: You should hear him talk about his schedule. Hey, Mary Beth, he said he's got it filled up for the next two years. He took off for Washington this morning at seven o'clock. That's where he's based. He's got a Congressional meeting he had to get to.
MARY BETH: Oh, yeah!
CHRISTINE: Yeah. I told him I was the same way. You know when you're a Sergeant, you don't have much time for a social life.
MARY BETH: Sounds like he doesn't have much time either.
CHRISTINE: No, not a lot. ...(to herself) Well, not for me, any way. ...He may be in a wheelchair, Mary Beth, but there's only one thing this man cannot do. Know how to say 'No' to his work.
MARY BETH: There's a lot that way.
CHRISTINE: Yeah, well.... I just hope I don't do something about it until it's too late. ...It's funny, isn't it? Busy worrying about his effect my life. I never even stopped to think what it would do to his. ...This, ...here, is what I've gotta make time for.
(she turns and smiles at Mary Beth)

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