On the Street
Original Airdate: September 30, 1985

[Coleman's dining room]

(Coleman is sitting at the table. He has a painted sign for the Squad room which reads 'Lacey Baby Quinella'. He has a calculator, hand-drawn charts and many bits of screwed up paper. He makes one final adjustment to a large sheet of paper which has sections for 'Day', 'Weight', 'Boy/Girl' etc.)
COLEMAN: (reviewing the sheet with some satisfaction) Huh. ...Huh!

[Detectives' squad room]

(Petrie, Isbecki and another detective are standing round the large sheet spread out on a desk)
ISBECKI: Coleman, this is ridiculous. It's more complicated than the national debt.
COLEMAN: Look, the beauty of this, Isbecki, somebody is gonna clean up here.
DETECTIVE: Mostly you.
COLEMAN: Odds making is a very demanding and specialised skill. Like boxers and lawyers.
DETECTIVE: (to the duo coming in) I thought you guys had a court appearance.
CHRISTINE: We did. We've finished and we've got our conviction.
MARY BETH: (spotting the sheet) Oh, Coleman, I wish you would not do that. I'm not having this baby for your amusement or profit, thank you very much. I've got work to do.
COLEMAN: Pregnant ladies get very irritable.
(Chris looks at the sheet, makes a comment and then follows Mary Beth to their desks)
MARY BETH: It's about time to get over and see those people on the Stravas case.
CHRISTINE: You must be exhausted. Don't you just wanna call it a day and we'll do that tomorrow.
MARY BETH: Christine, you have been mothering me since I became pregnant. I said I didn't want any special consideration and I meant it.
CHRISTINE: No. I just know how you hate to testify. I didn't know you were gonna be tired just like that!
MARY BETH: You wanna go home early. Right?
CHRISTINE: I'm going to the theatre and I would like to go with clean face.
MARY BETH: David Keeler again. Right?
CHRISTINE: (looking in a compact mirror and checking her face and her hair and smiling) David Keeler. He likes my little hair highlights.
MARY BETH: Mm hm. So what does this David do?
CHRISTINE: Where do you start? Where ...do ...you ...start?!
MARY BETH: Christine!
CHRISTINE: Well, ...he's a dentist.
MARY BETH: Oh. Dentist. That's nice.
CHRISTINE: Come on, Mary Beth, I know what you're thinking. How could you possibly go out with a man who has his hands in everybody's mouths all day? (as Mary Beth goes to say something) He was born to it, Mary Beth. He was destined for dentistry.
MARY BETH: Well, dentists are solid.
CHRISTINE: I don't know about 'solid'? He's got the most gorgeously sexy teeth right across his mouth. ...He has a nice smile.
SAMUELS: (putting a case sheet on Mary Beth's desk) Lexington Hospital. We've got a beating.
CHRISTINE: Now?!
MARY BETH: (looking at the sheet) We're on our way, sir.
CHRISTINE: All right. It'll take us fifteen minutes to get there. An hour tops for the interview. (feeling her hair as they walk out) Mary Beth, come here, I must have a bath.
MARY BETH: Oh.

[Lexington Hospital reception]

(the duo comes in with a female uniformed officer)
UNIFORMED OFFICER #1: No idea, but from the way she was dressed, it's my guess some guy beat her up and dumped her in the alley.
CHRISTINE: Who found her?
UNIFORMED OFFICER #1: We did. She was right in plain view. No telling how many people walked by. My partner's out on the street looking for witnesses.
MARY BETH: How badly is she hurt?
UNIFORMED OFFICER #1: She'll live. The guy did a pretty good job on her though.
MARY BETH: Thank you, Officer.

[Hospital room]

(the victim is Stephanie Brandon)
MARY BETH: Oh Lord, look at her. She's only a child.
CHRISTINE: They go on the streets young. You know that.
MARY BETH: Yeah. It doesn't mean I can get used to it.
CHRISTINE: Do you think we should wake her up?
MARY BETH: No, let her sleep. We can come back. (holding up a bag containing the victim's possessions) Maybe we can get an ID off of this stuff.
CHRISTINE: Yeah.

[Lexington Hospital reception]

MARY BETH: What kind of a psychopath uses a child like that and then beats her up.
CHRISTINE: Likely to have been a John or a pimp. (Mary Beth is looking at the bag) What's the matter?
MARY BETH: Nothing. (holding up a chain with a three small gold items on it) Would you believe this? Cheerleaders have stuff like that.

[Detectives' Squad room]

(the bag of possessions is on the duo's desk. Samuels is looking at a printout. Petrie and another detective are there)
SAMUELS: Hooker, huh? Norma Jean Baker. Isn't that...
MARY BETH: (on phone) Marilyn Monroe. Yes sir. (into phone) No ma'am, I'm not talking to you.
CHRISTINE: The file says she's twenty-three years old. She's a teenager and not even close.
SAMUELS: Probably had a forged ID.
CHRISTINE: She had an arrest for prostitution three weeks ago.
MARY BETH: (handing Samuels the chain) She also had this. (into phone) Yes, I'm still here.
CHRISTINE: She was in the Drama Club at Exeter High School in Englewood. (pointing to Mary Beth) We're checking now with Jersey police for a runaway. We're also running a check on the guy who bailed her out when she was picked up. His name is Dominic Lucero.
DOLAN: Lucero?
CHRISTINE: Yeah. What? Do you know him?
SAMUELS: He's a pimp. Right.
(Dolan nods)
MARY BETH: (into phone) OK. ...What? ...Thank you. ...Yeah. (she rings off) She says she can't back to us until tomorrow.
PETRIE: Didn't we just have Lucero in here on something?
SAMUELS: His name came up in connection with a murder over on the 22nd. They wanted to talk to him, so Officer Dolan picked him up for them. Right?
(the other detective nods in acknowledgement to Samuels)
PETRIE: What was the name of the victim? That was... Amy...
SAMUELS: Turkinson. Amy Turkinson.
CHRISTINE: Where were we when all this was going on?
SAMUELS: I don't know where you were when this was going on.
DOLAN: The cat was a real slippery one. It would take an army to keep tracks on him.
SAMUELS: So let's get out there and see what he's doing today.
MARY BETH: Yes sir.
SAMUELS: Let me know what you find out.
CHRISTINE: Oh, excuse me, Lieutenant, if it's all right with you I won't be coming back this afternoon. I have this appointment with the dentist.
SAMUELS: Oh!
CHRISTINE: Thank you.
(Chris feels her cheek and exchanges a knowing glance with Mary Beth)

[Graffitied tenement corridor]

CHRISTINE: Do you want to leave the arrest to me?
MARY BETH: No thank you, Christine.
CHRISTINE: You sure?
MARY BETH: All I am is pregnant. I walked the beat for six months when I was carrying Michael. This is a rest compared to that. Three B, right?
CHRISTINE: Yes.
MARY BETH: (knocking the door of 3B) Mr. Lucero!
(a woman opens the door on the chain)
MARY BETH: Is Dominic Lucero here?
ADRIEN WICKART: No. I don't know where he is.
MARY BETH: You do know him. Right? This apartment is rented in his name.
ADRIEN WICKART: I know, but he's not here.
CHRISTINE: (showing her shield) We're police officers. Can we ask you some questions?
ADRIEN WICKART: Yeah, OK. But I've gotta leave pretty soon because I have an appointment.

[Dominic Lucero's apartment]

CHRISTINE: What's your name?
ADRIEN WICKART: Adrien Wickart.
CHRISTINE: How old are you?
ADRIEN WICKART: Eighteen.
(Mary Beth looks into the bedroom)
CHRISTINE: Right.
ADRIEN WICKART: I've really gotta leave in a few minutes. I gotta get there.
MARY BETH: How do you know Dominic Lucero?
ADRIEN WICKART: I don't know him.
MARY BETH: You said you did.
ADRIEN WICKART: Ah, well, I thought you said something else.
CHRISTINE: Ever hear of a girl named Amy Turkinson? (Adrienne shakes her head) How about a girl who calls herself Norma Jean Baker. Have you ever heard of her?
ADRIEN WICKART: No.
CHRISTINE: About your age. Blonde, has green eyes, about five five, weighs a hundred and ten pounds.
MARY BETH: Think hard, Adrien. Because she's just been beaten half to death. Did you know that?
ADRIEN WICKART: No. I don't know her.
CHRISTINE: Somebody tried to kill her. If you hang out with the same people, you could be in trouble yourself.
ADRIEN WICKART: I can't help you. I'm sorry. I gotta go.

[Graffitied tenement corridor]

CHRISTINE: That was a waste of time.
MARY BETH: We should call the morgue right now and reserve a table for that one.
CHRISTINE: (looking at her watch) Mary Beth, (handing her the car keys) sign me out will ya? I can still grab a fast cab and I'll still have time to wash my hair.

[Theatre foyer]

DAVID KEELER: That is exactly the kind of thinking that is ruining the American theatre.
CHRISTINE: What is wrong with Neal Simon?
DAVID KEELER: He is slick and commercial and continues to avoid the substance.
CHRISTINE: Oh, excuse me. What do you consider substance? "The Bald Soprano" contemplates their belly button while "Waiting for Godot"?
DAVID KEELER: Are you saying there's nothing wrong with Samuel Beckett?
CHRISTINE: No!
DAVID KEELER: Samuel Beckett is the world's greatest living playwright.
(an elderly woman theatregoer in a fur coat bumps into David)
PICKPOCKET: Oh, I'm terribly sorry! I wasn't looking where I was going.
(Chris grabs the woman's arm)
PICKPOCKET: Ow! Ow! That hurts!
CHRISTINE: Well, let go of it.
DAVID KEELER: Christine, just hang on a second.
CHRISTINE: Hang on?! She just stole your wallet.
PICKPOCKET: It was an accident! I just grabbed on to it to keep from falling.
CHRISTINE: Go on. You're clean and I'm Mother Goose.
DAVID KEELER: It's my wallet. I'll handle it.
CHRISTINE: (taking the woman's handbag) Actually, David, if you don't mind. Let the police do their work.
PICKPOCKET: Police! (Chris takes a bunch of wallets out of the bag) Oh, my God, if things aren't bad enough. Look, I'll give 'em back. I'll do anything.
DAVID KEELER: Be quiet! You're gonna incriminate yourself. You can't use what she just said, you know, Chris . You didn't Mirandize her. On top of that, opening that purse might constitute illegal 'search and seek'.
PICKPOCKET: What? Do you mean that? What she did was illegal.
CHRISTINE: What would you like me to do? Give her back your wallet.
DAVID KEELER: (taking his wallet) Course I don't want you to give her back my wallet.
CHRISTINE: Well, what is it you want me to do?
DAVID KEELER: I want you to just back off a second.
PICKPOCKET: I want a lawyer.
DAVID KEELER: Lady! You've got a lawyer.
CHRISTINE: You're a dentist!
DAVID KEELER: You wouldn't have gone out with me if I'd told you I was a lawyer.
CHRISTINE: What do you mean? A lawyer!!
PICKPOCKET: You two are going together?
CHRISTINE: You stay out of this! (to David) Why don't you try asking me next time?!
PICKPOCKET: (to David) Listen to somebody's that been there. This is never gonna work for you.
DAVID KEELER: Christine, this is my territory. You're never gonna make this stick.
(he takes the handbag off Chris and gives it back to the pickpocket)
PICKPOCKET: I'm telling ya, a cop and a lawyer aren't just gonna cut it.
(Chris takes the handbag, puts it firmly under her arm and gives David a hard stare)

[Lexington Hospital corridor]

CHRISTINE: Oh no, no, not your everyday lawyer. He turned out to be an American Civil Liberties Union lawyer.
MARY BETH: For that to happen to you. That's funny, Christine.
CHRISTINE: Funny? Dr. Lubin was funny. 'We'd all like to thank Sergeant Cagney for a new timesaving procedure in bringing in the perpetrator and the lawyer. Why, it adds a whole new meaning to revolving door judgement.
MARY BETH: And what happened to the pickpocket?
CHRISTINE: She walked.
MARY BETH: Ah ha.
CHRISTINE: She gave David back his wallet.
MARY BETH: You know, I wish I had worked there. I would have liked to have been there.
CHRISTINE: Why don't you put in for overtime next Thursday. You might see an encore.
MARY BETH: You're not going out with him again?!
CHRISTINE: I am going to an ACLU dinner.
MARY BETH: Oh, that should be fun!
CHRISTINE: I think I'll have cards made up to say 'Hi, I'm a cop!' and 'No, I don't care what happened to you at the Chicago convention'.

[Hospital room]

MARY BETH: (touching the victim's hair) Stephanie. Hi ya, Stephanie, how ya feeling? (showing her shield) I'm Detective Lacey. This is Sergeant Cagney. We came to see you yesterday but you were sleeping.
STEPHANIE BRANDON: What make's you think my name's Stephanie?
CHRISTINE: It's all right. You'll be going home. Your parents are having you transferred to a hospital in Englewood.
STEPHANIE BRANDON: Who asked you to call my parents?!!
(she goes to get out of bed)
MARY BETH: What are you doing? Hey, wait a second. Don't do that!
STEPHANIE BRANDON: Let go of me!
MARY BETH: You're gonna hurt yourself!
CHRISTINE: (as Mary Beth struggles with the girl) Hey, Mary Beth, back up. Call the nurse. I'll hold her.
MARY BETH: Nurse! We need some help in here!
CHRISTINE: (as a nurse arrives) Now stop it! Stop it!

[Detectives' Squad room]

SAMUELS: (coming in with the duo) Any other witnesses?
CHRISTINE: You've gotta believe it, but nobody will talk to us.
SAMUELS: I don't like the way this thing is moving. You've had it a few days and you still haven't got enough to bring Lucero in.
(Isbecki hands Samuels a file)
SAMUELS: (to Isbecki) About time.
CHRISTINE: Lieutenant, we're driving out to Englewood this afternoon to talk to the girl to give us a positive ID.
SAMUELS: I thought you said she was an uncooperative witness.
CHRISTINE: Well, she called us.
SAMUELS: What? Does she want to testify? Why all of a sudden the turnaround?
CHRISTINE: That's what we're going to Englewood to find out, Lieutenant.
MARY BETH: That girl had been beaten up the first time we tried to talk to her. Probably she feels safer at home.
SAMUELS: Yes, probably. All right, but take the whole day.
MARY BETH: Yes sir.
MARY BETH: Christine, do you think we'll be back by six?
CHRISTINE: Maybe seven.
MARY BETH: Remind me to call Harve, would ya, before we leave Jersey. It's the baby. Harvey's getting maternal.
ISBECKI: (watching the duo leave) Lacey's looking real good. Don't you think so, Marcus.
PETRIE: Yeah. I guess. ...She looks just the same to me.
ISBECKI: No. Different. No, she seems... She seems like she ...glows.
PETRIE: Glows?
ISBECKI: Yeah. She looks more like a mother now.
PETRIE: Oh that. I'd noticed.
ISBECKI: Nice and ...safe.
PETRIE: Safe?
ISBECKI: You see, Marcus, I have this theory about women.
PETRIE: Ah ha.
ISBECKI: There are your dangerous females. The kind that a guy would die for. You know the type.
PETRIE: Yes, I can imagine.
ISBECKI: Then there are your safe females. You can't imagine dying for them. Mothers. Pregnant ladies.
PETRIE: Madonna?
ISBECKI: No. no. She's definitely in the dangerous category. What I'm talking about is er... Oh, take Claudia for instance. A real pretty lady. She's nice ...and safe. Right?
PETRIE: Actually she's nice and ...dangerous. (Isbecki stays quiet) Eat your heart out, Victor.

[Brandons' lounge]

MRS. BRANDON: Stephanie will be down in a moment. My husband wanted to be here but he just couldn't get away from the office. I was just having an afternoon sherry. Could I offer you one?
CHRISTINE: Er. we're on duty. But, thank you.
MRS. BRANDON: Of course. How about a cup of coffee?
MARY BETH: No thanks, not for me.
MRS. BRANDON: Oh, that's right. Caffeine. I forgot. It's all changed since I had the girls.
MARY BETH: Yes ma'am. It's been hard keeping up with all the new theories. Is Stephanie feeling better?
MRS. BRANDON: Yes. Thank you. The doctor said she should be able to go back to school in a couple of weeks.
MARY BETH: Oh, that's good.
MRS. BRANDON: Yes.
(there is an awkward silence)
MARY BETH: (pointing to a photo) Is that Stephanie?
MRS. BRANDON: Oh no. That's her older sister, Sally. She's up at Princeton.
MARY BETH: Princeton?
MRS. BRANDON: Yes. My Ivy League daughter. I never even finished college and I have a daughter at Princeton. ...I was hoping to have two.
(Stephanie, in a school skirt and long white socks, comes down)
STEPHANIE BRANDON: (to her mother) Cute enough for you.
MRS. BRANDON: You look very nice, dear. (to Mary Beth) You know how hard it is. Anything I like, she hates.
MARY BETH: Ah ha.
CHRISTINE: So Stephanie, you wanted to talk to us?
STEPHANIE BRANDON: Yeah. You guys wanna know who beat me up?
CHRISTINE: Yes.
MRS. BRANDON: Her father and I were wondering if it would be possible for Stephanie to testify on video camera, without actually being in the courtroom.
MARY BETH: I'm sorry, ma'am, but she's gonna have to face the defendant.
MRS. BRANDON: Oh. We were hoping she could avoid that. But if that's what's necessary for keeping that animal from attacking other children...
STEPHANIE BRANDON: And kidnapping them, and drugging them, and selling them into white slavery!
(there is a long silence)
CHRISTINE: Mrs. Brandon, may I have that coffee that you mentioned? If you don't mind, do you?
MRS. BRANDON: Oh, ...no. It's a pleasure.
CHRISTINE: Thank you.
MRS. BRANDON: (picking up her sherry glass) I'll be just a minute.
MARY BETH: Is that how it happened, Stephanie? You were kidnapped.
STEPHANIE BRANDON: Don't be dense.
CHRISTINE: But that's what you told your mother?
STEPHANIE BRANDON: No. That's what she told me. (speaking loudly) You see, according to her I was so drugged up that I didn't know it was happening! It was as if she was there and I wasn't.
MARY BETH: Maybe your mother's having a tough time coping with all of this.
STEPHANIE BRANDON: My mother is having a tough time coping. Period! Like remembering which one of her daughters is going to Princeton! (shouting very loudly now) And which one got thrown out of drama because she couldn't keep up a C average!!!
(another silence)
CHRISTINE: You said you wanted to help us. Do you know who beat you up?
STEPHANIE BRANDON: No. I had my eyes closed.
CHRISTINE: Listen kid. You wanna smart mouth your mother? I don't care. It's none of my business. But I didn't come out here to take garbage off a fifteen year-old punk. You don't wanna talk to us. Fine.
STEPHANIE BRANDON: (as the duo prepares to leave) It was my pimp. A guy named Dom Lucero. He found out I was setting up as an independent and hr didn't like it.
CHRISTINE: Do you know a girl named Amy Turkinson?
STEPHANIE BRANDON: Sure. Dom killed her. ...Just the same as he was trying to do to me, in case you were interested.
CHRISTINE: Did you see him kill her?
STEPHANIE BRANDON: Yeah.
CHRISTINE: Excuse me?
STEPHANIE BRANDON: Yeah, I saw him kill her.
CHRISTINE: Would you be willing to testify in court?
STEPHANIE BRANDON: Why not? It might be kind of fun to see my mother's face when she has to sit and listen for a change.

[Squad car]

MARY BETH: If one of our boys pulled that smart-mouth talk, I'd have him hanging out of the window by his heels. Teenage rebellion. I don't care. You don't talk to your mother like she did. You don't talk to anybody like that. (Chris keeps silent) Did I tell you what Harve brought home Sunday? Go ahead, guess. ...A new refrigerator. Nice, huh? ...It's nice. ...It's white. ...Eighteen point five cubic feet. It's got a lot of freezer space and a huge meat tray. ...Harve got a deal from a buddy in the appliance business. ...To tell you the truth, I kind of wanted California avocado, you know? ...Pretty yellow-green, you know? ...but white, it goes with everything. (an even longer silence) I should say somebody better get that little girl some help pretty fast. She's hard already. Imagine what she's gonna be like in a couple of years. She sees a man take a human life, and all she can talk about is how she's gonna use it is to push her mother's face in the dirt.
CHRISTINE: Maybe it's the only way she can get her attention.
MARY BETH: Christine,... (thinks better of it) Right. ...Right.

[Laceys' kitchen]

(Mary Beth comes in putting her coat on. Harvey in his nightclothes is pouring coffee)
MARY BETH: Oh honey. Let me have one whiff. OK? Maybe smelling it will wake me up.
HARVEY: I don't care what you say. Five AM stakeout is above and beyond the call of duty.
MARY BETH: You're up by six every morning.
HARVEY: That's different.
MARY BETH: Yeah? Why, because I'm a cop and you're a contractor.
HAC No. You're pregnant. I'm not.
MARY BETH: Oh Harve, don't start again.
HARVEY: I'm serious, Mary Beth. I mean, where does Samuels get off laying these kind of hours on ya? Police work is dangerous enough for somebody in your condition.
MARY BETH: First of all, (she gives him a peck), we're doing this on our own. The Lieutenant didn't order me. And secondly, (she gives him another peck) I had the same condition and the same job a couple of years ago, you might recall. And Michael and I came through with flying colours.
(she gives him yet another peck)
HARVEY: You were in your twenties. You're pushing forty now.
MARY BETH: Thirty-eight. Middle thirties. Late middle.
HARVEY: Mary Beth, it's different having a baby at your age. There are more risks.
MARY BETH: Harvey, I'm gonna have risks on or off the job. I could fall down the stairs carrying laundry as easy as I could chasing a thief. Besides, I can't take maternity leave this early and we need the money.
HARVEY: That's it?!
MARY BETH: Yes.
HARVEY: End of discussion.
MARY BETH: Yes.
HARVEY: Tell me something, Mary Beth, is the one in there gonna be as stubborn as you are?!
MARY BETH: Stubborner. Look who its father is.
(she gives him a final peck)
MARY BETH: Goodbye.
HARVEY: You be careful. Do you hear?!
MARY BETH: Always.
HARVEY: Hey!
(she comes back and he gives her a final kiss)

[Alleyway opposite a café across in a Manhattan street]

(Mary Beth is in the car. Chris arrives in a cab and gets into the car)

[Squad car]

MARY BETH: (handing her a coffee) How did your dinner go?
CHRISTINE: It wasn't just an ACLU dinner. It was an ACLU 'Police Brutality' dinner. I'd have been more popular if I'd had herpes.
MARY BETH: Oh.
CHRISTINE: Do you know what those people have?
MARY BETH: Law degrees.
CHRISTINE: That's good. They've got this information system set-up. Any arrest that occurs involving assault on a police officer. Boom! Suddenly an ACLU lawyer shows up to determine who did what to whom first.
MARY BETH: Yeah, I think I heard something about that.
CHRISTINE: Don't you love it? Somebody always looking over your shoulder when you're just trying to do your job.
MARY BETH: Now don't tell me they don't have a reason, Christine. Not all of the police officers are on the side of the angels.
CHRISTINE: Mary Beth, please don't get rational on me when my feet are freezing.
MARY BETH: Do you remember what's-his-name? The one I could always tell he'd had a fight with his wife. He'd go out and collar some pusher and beat him to jellow, and then he'd say the other guy hit him first. Remember?
CHRISTINE: That was Glendenning.
MARY BETH: Ah ha.
CHRISTINE: Ah ha. And he was kicked off the force.
MARY BETH: And who kicked him off? It wasn't us. Everybody knew what was going on but nobody did anything about it until that one creepo got himself a lawyer. Made a stink. Am I right?
CHRISTINE: You're right. I am wrong. Where's my waffle?
MARY BETH: No blueberry.
CHRISTINE: Oh.
MARY BETH: Sorry your dinner didn't go right.
CHRISTINE: The dessert was good.
MARY BETH: (pointing to a man in the café) That's Lucero! How did he get in?
CHRISTINE: Must have come in the back entrance.
(in the café Lucero gets out a cigarette and sits down. Adrien Wickart comes up to him. Lucero gets up. She takes a bunch of dollars from her the top of her dress and gives them to him. He looks at how much it amounts to and lashes out at her face and sits her down)
MARY BETH: Let's go.
CHRISTINE: Yes. You take the front. I'll take the back.
(the duo gets out of the car)

[Café]

LUCERO: You know, I never even mean to hurt you. (he takes her hand) Right?
ADRIEN WICKART: (seeing Mary Beth) It's the cop!
(Lucero runs to the back)
MARY BETH: Police! Halt! ...Police, Lucero!
(Lucero knocks kitchen staff aside to be confronted by Chris with her gun drawn. Lucero stops. Mary Beth follows up, gun drawn)
MARY BETH: Don't! (breathlessly) Freeze.

[Detectives' Squad room]

LUCERO: (being manhandled in by Chris) Just tell me how I was supposed to know you were cops?
CHRISTINE: Do you mind exercising your right to remain silent?
LUCERO: All I saw was some crazy broad running after me. This is New York. We've got lots of maniacs here.
CHRISTINE: Sure do. Like the guy that beat up Stephanie Brandon.
MARY BETH: You can make a phone call.
LUCERO: Just let me tell you. I don't know anybody named Stephanie Brandon. (pushing him in the holding cell) Get in there. I guess you didn't know Amy Turkinson either.
LUCERO: Name rings no bells.
CHRISTINE: Mm hm. Probably never even heard of the word 'pandering'. North West Passage.
LUCERO: Pandering? North West Passage? Mm. Doesn't that have something to do with bears.
CHRISTINE: Very funny. I hope you laugh like that when you're booked for homicide.
MARY BETH: (into phone) Would you hold for a minute, (shouting across) Christine! (into phone) Yes, ma'am, what time was this when it happened? ...I see. Would you hold this line? ...Thank you.
MARY BETH: (to Chris) Stephanie has gone. She had a fight with her parents last night. This morning they can't find her, and her mother's purse is missing.
(later)
MARY BETH: (coming off the phone) I called all eight of Mrs. Brandon's card numbers and I sent out Stephanie's description.
CHRISTINE: Mary Beth, (looking at her watch) Lucero's gonna be arraigned in one hour. That means he'll be out on bail in, oh, about one hour and two minutes. He's already beaten her up once.
MARY BETH: So we'll find her first.
CHRISTINE: Well, he knows where to look. We don't.
MARY BETH: All right, then when Lucero makes bail, we will follow Lucero.
CHRISTINE: (looking at her watch again) Yeah, for how long?
MARY BETH: As long as it takes.
CHRISTINE: (seeing Samuels just come into his office) Samuels is never gonna approve a twenty-four hour tail.
(Chris looks at her watch again)
MARY BETH: Well, have you got a better idea? (as Chris picks up the phone) What are you doing?
CHRISTINE: Seven forty-five. Do you think there's anybody at the DMV?
MARY BETH: Parking tickets?
CHRISTINE: You go with what you can get.

[Underground garage]

(Lucero and Aileen, who has a thick lip, get into a flashy car. Just as he begins to back out Chris arrives in the Squad car and stops across the back of it)
CHRISTINE: Mr. Lucero. Sergeant Cagney. Detective Lacey. These are our badges. We are police officers. I'll repeat that. Police ...officers.
LUCERO: Police officers? Real nice to see you girls again.
CHRISTINE: Is this your vehicle?
LUCERO: Let me guess. You wanna see my registration?
MARY BETH: Is this your vehicle, sir.
LUCERO: Yes, this is my vehicle.
MARY BETH: Well sir, our searches show that there are forty-three unpaid traffic tickets against this vehicle. Will you please step out.
(he reaches for his inside pocket)
CHRISTINE: Don't do that!
(the duo reaches for their guns)
LUCERO: Hey, I was just going to show you the receipt for all of those parking tickets.
CHRISTINE: Fine. Two fingers. Very slowly.
LUCERO: Two fingers?
CHRISTINE: Right. ...Very slowly.
LUCERO: You are cute.
CHRISTINE: (taking the receipt, looking at it and handing it to Mary Beth) Paid today.
LUCERO: I thought it would be a nice idea if I took care of everything all at once, you know. Gee, I'm sorry but I guess you girls should be patrolling somewhere else. Why don't you go across the street and catch yourself a couple of jaywalkers?
CHRISTINE: Adrien, how's your lip? Didn't you bring in enough money last night?
ADRIEN WICKART: I slipped.
CHRISTINE: Yes. I'm sure. Did he let you keep anything? Or did it all go in his wallet?
ADRIEN WICKART: No...
LUCERO: (to Adrien) Aw, shut up, idiot! (to the duo) You're just trying to get me. Now, if you ladies will excuse us and just move your car.
CHRISTINE: Just one minute. As long as we're all here together, you don't mind if I just check out the rest of your vehicle? (as she moves to the back of the car) Just checking. (there is a breaking sound) Do you know anything about a broken taillight?!
LUCERO: (jumping out of the car) What?!!
CHRISTINE: You may not be aware of it, but that's a violation.
LUCERO: Look at it. You kicked in my taillight. There's glass all over the place.
CHRISTINE: According to the vehicle...
LUCERO: (grabbing Chris by the lapels and pushing her against his car) According to the vehicle, what?!
(Chris knocks his arms up and off her and gives him a left)
MARY BETH: (pointing her gun) That's it! That's all! You turn around and put your hands on the car. (Lucero is holding his face) You put your hands on that car, idiot.
CHRISTINE: (cuffing him) A terrible thing, Lucero, assaulting a police officer. Detective Lacey, would you call for a backup.
MARY BETH: Yes Sergeant.

[Chris's loft]

(Chris and David are preparing a meal)
CHRISTINE: No, no, wait! Don't add the onions before the mushrooms.
DAVID KEELER: I just don't just think that you understand what you've done.
CHRISTINE: I understand perfectly!
DAVID KEELER: First, you break the guy's taillight. And then you beat him up.
CHRISTINE: Oh, co... I did not beat him up, for God's sake. The swelling went down in ten minutes.
DAVID KEELER: That's what I mean when I say 'You don't understand'. Severity of injury is not the point. The point is, you do all that, and then you cover your tracks by saying he assaulted you.
CHRISTINE: He did assault me! He grabbed me by...
DAVID KEELER: Were you injured in any way?
CHRISTINE: Severity of injury is not the point. Besides, he could have knocked down my partner, who happens to be pregnant.
DAVID KEELER: We're not talking about what might have happened. Christine, people have rights! Those rights are guaranteed to them by law. As a law officer you have a legal and an ethical obligation to uphold those rights.
CHRISTINE: And what about the right of that fifteen year-old girl not to be murdered, which she will be, if that scut is let out on the streets? Now, as I recall 'life' is the first inalienable right of the Constitution.
DAVID KEELER: That's The Declaration of Independence'. Anyway you're changing the subject.
CHRISTINE: I am not!
DAVID KEELER: Yes you are. That girl, whatever her name was, is not under discussion.
CHRISTINE: Oh, ...I get it. That girl, Stephanie is her name, is not important. it's only the murderers you're interested in!
DAVID KEELER: I am interested, as you put it, in anyone whose rights have been denied them. And, yeah, that includes suspected murderers.
CHRISTINE: Well, it shouldn't! A person who wants human rights should act like a human being! Let me put it more simply for you. A person ...who kills other people ...is a bad person. And a bad person should not have the same rights as a good person.
DAVID KEELER: You don't believe that.
CHRISTINE: I believe every word of it.
DAVID KEELER: My God, do you know what you're saying?
CHRISTINE: Yes!
DAVID KEELER: That's the argument the Nazis used to send the Jews to the death camps.
CHRISTINE: Oh, come on, it is not anywhere near close!
DAVID KEELER: It is precisely the same. Some people inherently do not have the same kind of rights as others? That is exactly the same kind of thing that got us Auschwitz!
CHRISTINE: How come I argue about the Holocaust with every Jewish lawyer I date!
DAVID KEELER: Because, in the first place, it shouldn't be forgotten. In the second place, it is exactly what we're talking about. (going over to Chris) And in the third place, I'm not Jewish. I'm Catholic. Lithuanian. And I got you there, didn't I? Hey, come on. I think that's ready for the chicken.
CHRISTINE: This is a nice little intellectual exercise for you, isn't it? Huh? Lucky you! You get to sit around on your rear end all day judging people. It's all abstract! Well, my job is not abstract. I do not have the luxury of always playing by the rules, because I deal with criminals. And criminals do not play by the rules.
DAVID KEELER: What do you think I do all day?
CHRISTINE: I think you sit around all day on a big over-stuffed couch in an ivory tower. And I'm out there putting my arse on the line. And people like you make my job harder and much more dangerous...Where are you going?!
DAVID KEELER: The bathroom! Unless you've got an objection.
CHRISTINE: I'm not through yet!
DAVID KEELER: Objection overruled. Cagney, face it, you lost. It's a defeat! And then you can pay up.
CHRISTINE: (shouting through the bathroom door) Well, at least I don't have to lie about my job to get a date! Dr. Keeler!
(there is the sound of the toilet flushing)

[Manhattan street]

MARY BETH: So that's the café where Stephanie left her card.
CHRISTINE: Thirty-six hours ago.
MARY BETH: It's a high rent area, but do you think he's working it?
CHRISTINE: Well...
MARY BETH: Well, don't look at me like it's a dumb idea, Christine. She said she was going in business for herself.
CHRISTINE: Mary Beth, she can't be so stupid as to stick around the same area.
MARY BETH: She's fifteen years old. She may be very old for her age, bur she's only one year older than Harvey Jr.. She's not thinking about getting caught.
CHRISTINE: Maybe. (they walk on) Nice day.
MARY BETH: Is it all over with David?
CHRISTINE: I don't particularly like being called a Nazi! The man cannot help remembering it's more important to save a person's life than it is to play Mother Superior, and I don't want anything to do with it. (after a long pause) I'm being quiet now. That means you can you can seriously talk.
MARY BETH: I was trying to figure what to say. I know you want me to tell you that were right, but I can't do that.
CHRISTINE: OK! We should have let Lucero go. Now we can put him back on the street and we can hunt him down until he does something wrong. Who does he think we are?! He'll agree with anything to get what he wants!
MARY BETH: I'm not saying that.
CHRISTINE: Well, he's garbage, Mary Beth! He doesn't care who he hurts. Nobody wops women, kids, ...pregnant women.
MARY BETH: I wish you wouldn't quote the pregnant women stuff. I'm straying across the line with the taillight thing. I think we took him dirty and I think we both know it.
CHRISTINE: Well, what would you have done?
MARY BETH: I'd have got him for loitering. (Mary Beth stops walking and Chris follows suit) I'd have got him for littering or spitting in the street. Too bad his teeth don't look bad!
CHRISTINE: He'd have been out in twenty minutes!
MARY BETH: I'd have thought of something else.
CHRISTINE: While you're out there thinking of something else, he's out there looking for Stephanie, and you can be real virtuous at her funeral.
MARY BETH: (as Chris walks on) Oh, don't do that to me. (Chris stops and comes back) What you did was wrong.
CHRISTINE: And when you're the boss, you can call the shots!
MARY BETH: Well, yes, Sergeant!
(they walk on)
MARY BETH: (pointing) Oh, I wish I'd bet money.
CHRISTINE: What?
MARY BETH: (pointing again) Get a load of that.
(a young girl in white high heels and pink booby socks is being restrained by a uniformed officer with a middle aged businessman standing by)
STEPHANIE BRANDON: He's lying.
BUSINESSMAN: You propositioned me. Hold her downtown.
(the duo comes up showing their shields)
CHRISTINE: (to the uniformed officer) Sergeant Cagney. This is Detective Lacey. What's going on?
UNIFORMED OFFICER #2: This gentleman over here.
BUSINESSMAN: I was solicited. That's what's going on. Right in front of my own office.
UNIFORMED OFFICER #2: He made a citizen's arrest.
BUSINESSMAN: I have my clients walk right past here. So I pay a lot of money for rent. What kind of impression is this supposed to make? Streetwalkers right in front of the building.
MARY BETH: Do you wish to press charges, sir?
BUSINESSMAN: You bet your life I wanna to press charges.
MARY BETH: Will you just step over here and I'll take your statement.
BUSINESSMAN: (shouts at the girl) Trash!!!
CHRISTINE: (as the officer goes to put the girl in his patrol car) Er, excuse me Officer, look, I don't want to beat you out of a collar, but this young lady is our witness in a murder case.
UNIFORMED OFFICER #2: You want it Serge, you've got it. It'd take me longer to drive her in than it would for her to bail out.
STEPHANIE BRANDON: Stay out of this!
CHRISTINE: Stephanie, do me a favour here. You wanna keep your mouth shut.
STEPHANIE BRANDON: I'm not asking you favours!
CHRISTINE: I said button it up, kid.
STEPHANIE BRANDON: Yeah?! I'm sure you did, big cop! Why don't you try sticking your nose where someone else wants it?!
CHRISTINE: Fine kid. Have it your way. Officer, you got her!
STEPHANIE BRANDON: (to the uniformed officer) Look, I've got some money in my purse. Why don't you just me bail out now. It will save us a trip.
CHRISTINE: Oh, I'm sorry Officer, this girl is a minor and must go to Juvenile Hall where she will not find it so easy to make bail.
STEPHANIE BRANDON: Why are you doing this to me?! Why don't you just leave me alone.
CHRISTINE: Listen kid. We're gonna need ya. Get in the car.
STEPHANIE BRANDON: Go to hell! You think I'm some stupid little kid...
CHRISTINE: That's right! I do! You are stupid. Just look what you're doing to yourself! Do you wanna get back at your mother?
STEPHANIE BRANDON: What do you know?! I make a lot of money and men want me!
CHRISTINE: Men want you?
STEPHANIE BRANDON: Yeah.
CHRISTINE: Tough it out by yourself then. ...You take my advice, kid. That armour that you're carrying around. It gets real heavy later on. ...Get her out of here.

[Interview room]

MARY BETH: (coming in with Chris) Mrs. Brandon. Good morning.
MRS. BRANDON: Detective Lacey, Sergeant Cagney, this is my husband.
MARY BETH: Pleased to meet you.
CHRISTINE: Hello.
MARY BETH: I'm afraid there's been a mix up. Stephanie's not here. She's in juvenile detention. We can give you directions how to get there.
MRS. BRANDON: We know where she is. But first...
MARY BETH: Why don't you sit down? ...Please.
MR. BRANDON: Er, We were wondering if there is er, some sort of procedure that would make it possible for Stephanie to remain in police custody for a few more days.
MARY BETH: I don't understand.
MR. BRANDON: Well... See... We have decided to have Stephanie committed to a mental institution for treatment and the paperwork will take a little time.
CHRISTINE: A mental institution?
MRS. BRANDON: Our doctor recommended it.
MARY BETH: That's very drastic.
MR. BRANDON: Yes. Well, I'd say this is a pretty drastic situation. Wouldn't you, Detective. Our doctor's report speaks for itself.
CHRISTINE: Has anybody talked to Stephanie about this?
MR. BRANDON: Yes. I spoke to her last night on the phone. (putting the report down which his wife has handed him from her handbag) She says she wants to stay in New York and be a prostitute. She says she enjoys it. That's how disturbed she is.
CHRISTINE: Mr. Brandon, there's no denying that Stephanie needs help, but there must be some other way besides locking her up. Have you considered family therapy?
MRS. BRANDON: We tried that a year ago. Stephanie just sat there. She wouldn't say anything. So we finally gave up.
MARY BETH: Mrs. Brandon, there are halfway houses where Stephanie could receive counselling.
MR. BRANDON: Where Stephanie could live with prostitutes and drug addicts.
CHRISTINE: Former prostitutes and former drug addicts. They've had a lot of success, these places.
MRS. BRANDON: Alan?
MR. BRANDON: Look, we know what we have to do and we assume that you'll assist us with the additional days in custody.
CHRISTINE: Mrs. Brandon, if you're not completely convinced about this, you can reconsider.
MR. BRANDON: (shouting) This doesn't concern you!
CHRISTINE: (getting up) It definitely concerns me, Mr. Brandon. My hope is that it concerns you also. Certainly enough that you would consider some other option besides putting her away because she's too much trouble.
MR. BRANDON: You're out of line here, Detective!
MRS. BRANDON: We have tried! You don't know how hard we've tried! Alan's family endowed a faculty chair at Princeton. He could have got her in if only she'd listened!
MR. BRANDON: This is all we've thought about for the last two years is what would be best for Stephanie. My wife used to be a happy, outgoing woman before Stephanie began to tear her apart, (standing up) and I will not have her put through any more of this! (standing behind his wife) We have made the only choice we could. Stephanie needs to live in a controlled environment. (Chris goes out and slams the door) You see, my... our daughter needs to be put away for her own protection.
MARY BETH: Mr. Brandon, please sit down.

[Detectives' Squad room]

(Chris is frantically searching through a filing cabinet. She slams a couple of files down on her desk and gets a bunch more out of the drawer. Mary Beth comes in)
MARY BETH: Are you OK?
CHRISTINE: Perfect!!! Couldn't be better! (she slams the bunch down) Without a witness we lose Lucero. The prostitutes are back out on the streets and Stephanie's been shipped of to a funny farm. God!!! The things that happen to make sure all is right with the world. Princeton, my butt!!
(Mary Beth starts to take her long cardigan off and then looks down at her maternity dress and decides against it)
MARY BETH: Would you like to start on the Lefcourt witnesses?
CHRISTINE: I couldn't care less about the Lefcourt witnesses.
MARY BETH: OK, Christine, let's go.
CHRISTINE: Where are you going?
MARY BETH: We're going for a walk.
CHRISTINE: Mary Beth, we have eleven more cases.
MARY BETH: (getting Chris's handbag out) Call it early lunch.
CHRISTINE: I'm not hungry.
MARY BETH: (dropping Chris's handbag in her lap) Call it therapy.
(Chris stalks out. Mary Beth follows slowly

[Manhattan street]

MARY BETH: Christine, the Brandons are very sad people. I feel sorry for the parents. I feel sorry for Stephanie. But consider for one minute that this could be the best thing for her. Maybe if she goes to that hospital she'll get the help she needs.
CHRISTINE: You're right, Mary Beth. I'm being silly, of course. Hey, you've got a fifteen year-old you can't handle. Well, let's just accuse her of being insane and lock her up in a mental institution. Now we're all gonna sit back and see what happens. What a good idea!
MARY BETH: Sometimes it is not my favourite thing you do, Christine.
CHRISTINE: Well, today I'm not your favourite person, Mary Beth.
MARY BETH: Would you mind telling me what's going on with you?

[Ladies room]

CHRISTINE: Why does something always have to be going on?
MARY BETH: Christine, before we leave this room will you say one thing about what you feel about it?
CHRISTINE: How I feel about what?
MARY BETH: You and Stephanie.
CHRISTINE: Me and Steph... Stephanie is out of the picture. You heard her parents. Lucero walks. That's it! End of story.
MARY BETH: I see. Pax. I'm gonna get one of your patterns that you don't wanna talk about. It finishes.
CHRISTINE: Mary Beth, why don't you just get a couch in here?
MARY BETH: Christine, for me. Say one thing. 'I try... I care about what happens to Stephanie' Go ahead. Try it.
CHRISTINE: I care about what happens to Stephanie.
MARY BETH: And...
CHRISTINE: Another loser, Mary Beth.
MARY BETH: Do you believe that?
CHRISTINE: Look, I'm not gonna nominate her for Miss. Teen American. No, I know what she is. She's got a black belt in mouth karate and she's arrogant as hell. But there's more there.
MARY BETH: What else have we seen?
CHRISTINE: Well, her brains aren't fried, Mary Beth. She's got a good mind. And she's got fight! And even with a pimp like Lucero and he's tried to push drugs on her, but she's not going for it. If you check her medical report, she's clean. And I sense something about her character.
MARY BETH: Not much. I'm sorry.
CHRISTINE: No. OK. Fine. But she took up hooking ...and it's bad news. She doesn't want to settle for being a zombie. I think she'd like to have control over her life. You know, if we could cut through the crap, I really think that there's a kid there that's er, reachable. I believe that.
MARY BETH: And you believe you're the one to do it?
CHRISTINE: There was a moment yesterday there out on the street where she almost cracked. And if I just said something to her, even held out my hand, I think it could have happened. But I didn't do that. Because I was angry! You saw that report. That comes from a GP. He's not even a psychiatrist! Well, I'm gonna fight!
MARY BETH: She's a minor, Chris.
CHRISTINE: So what! She has rights! We could get ourself an attorney to help us.
MARY BETH: Do you know a good attorney?
CHRISTINE: Hm.
MARY BETH: OK. Do you know a good dentist?
(Chris picks her bag and goes out. Mary Beth smiles and follows)

[Staircase in Juvenile Hall]

(the duo is coming down)
MARY BETH: So what did you say?
CHRISTINE: I said 'Hello David, this is Christine Cagney'.
MARY BETH: Good opening.
CHRISTINE: He thinks we stand a chance, given that Stephanie's an emancipated minor and her parents can't commit her.
MARY BETH: But only if she agrees to go to a halfway house, right?
CHRISTINE: That's part of the deal. And if she testifies against Lucero. Now all I have to do is convince her.
MARY BETH: I have faith, Christine. You're on a mission.
CHRISTINE: Mission, hell? If she doesn't cooperate I'll waste the little creep myself.
MARY BETH: Christine, the ACLU lawyer's gonna be there. You're gonna have to get through to her some other way.
CHRISTINE: I'll get through.
MARY BETH: I'm a believer.
CHRISTINE: Well, believe this. Nobody's as tough as that kid thinks she is.
MARY BETH: Except for you, my partner,

[Juvenile Hall interview room]

(Chris comes in. Stephanie is sitting there)
CHRISTINE: My name is Christine.

<Back to the episode listing

Cagney & Lacey ® and related marks are trademarks of Metro Goldwyn Meyer. Copyright © 1981, Present. The Cagney & Lacey web pages on this site are for educational and entertainment purposes only. All other copyrights property of their respective holders.