Lost and Found
Original Airdate: February 25, 1985

[Cafe]

(the duo is collecting their meals onto their trays at the cafeteria service)
CHRISTINE: ...Mary Beth, I knew you weren't inviting me anything extravagant. I just wish you'd splurge a little.
MARY BETH: It's always looked quite good to me.
CHRISTINE: So, what did the doctor say?
MARY BETH: First, I'm finished with radiation therapy. Second, my implant is doing very nicely. There's no sign of infection. And third, he doesn't want to see me until next month.
CHRISTINE: Oh, that's great!
MARY BETH: Yeah.
CHRISTINE: Good. Come back to work!
MARY BETH: Well, I was thinking that maybe that I might take a little more time off, Christine.
CHRISTINE: You can't! I'm doing desk duty for five weeks. I'm going crazy.
MALE CUSTOMER: (following them as they delay the queue as it shuffles along the counter) Hey, you're not the only one, lady. Will you get going, for crying out loud?
MARY BETH: If you wanna go past, go past.
MALE CUSTOMER: Hey, I want an omelette.
CHRISTINE: Look at these omelettes. They look great!
MARY BETH: Yeah, but I'll stick with the special. The special is always very good here. (pointing for Chris) Over there. (to the male customer) Stick with the special.
MALE CUSTOMER: Nah.
MARY BETH: Maybe you could get Samuels to put you with a stand-in, someone from another squad.
CHRISTINE: Yeah, he mentioned it, but I told him you'd be back before he processed the paperwork.
COOK: (at the special counter) One of these, doll?
CHRISTINE: Broiled chicken.
COOK: Chicken's Monday. Today we've got meatloaf. Nice and juicy, just for you.
CHRISTINE: OK, I'll have meatloaf.
MARY BETH: Make it two.
CHRISTINE: Hey, it's the Sergeant's Exam on Friday.
MARY BETH: Yes. it is Christine, but to tell you the truth I'm thinking about putting in for an extended leave-of-absence.
CHRISTINE: What!!
MARY BETH: Well, there's a lot of things to consider here, Christine.
COOK: Here's your meatloaf. Anything else, doll.
CHRISTINE: No. ...Yeah. A partner. I'd like to have her.
COOK: And how are you today, pretty lady?
MARY BETH: Also unavailable. But thank you.
CHRISTINE: (as they carry their trays to a table) It's Harvey, isn't it. He's still worried about you?
MARY BETH: Harvey, he's the best. ...Seat there. (as they sit down) And those two young men, Christine. I telI ya, I think I underestimated the three of them. When I was in the hospital, and afterwards when I was so weak. I had to lie down every six minutes. They were wonderful. But I had a lot of time to think, and I started thinking that er, that there was all these things that we didn't do together ...yet. You know, places we didn't go. Harve and I, every Summer we'd talk about going out West to see the Grand Canyon, and maybe come back through the Yellowstone Park.
CHRISTINE: So next Summer you take three weeks off in July.
MARY BETH: No, there are things I wanna do for the boys, Christine. Harve Jr., I wanna sign him up to free concerts on Tuesday nights and we can hear all that music together. And Michael, I wanna take him to the Science Fair and the Car Show, and there's that hot-air balloon display at the Armory next month. We're working eight, ten hours a day. When do I have the time? Now I do. I can't put it off until tomorrow, Christine. What do I do if tomorrow never comes?
CHRISTINE: Are you gonna crash your whole career? Just like that.
MARY BETH: Don't be mad. What are you getting mad for? I mean, it's never gonna be the way it was anyway.
CHRISTINE: Why do you say that?
MARY BETH: All I'm gonna be is the oldest Detective, Third-grade in Manhattan. You, you're gonna be sergeant.
CHRISTINE: Yeah, and that's never made a difference with us.
MARY BETH: Everything is different, Christine. I thought I was gonna die, and I got a second chance. I wanna do right by it. I wanna figure out what's right for my family. And don't you go trying to change my mind on this. I have my priorities, Christine. I need you to respect them. ...Now eat it. It's the special.

[Locker room]

(Isbecki is wearing a three-piece suit)
ISBECKI: What do you think?
PETRIE: A little more authority. ...I'd use a Windsor knot.
ISBECKI: Hm?
PETRIE: Your tie. (sorting out the tie) More leadership quality.
PETRIE: Oh. Leadership?
ISBECKI: Yeah, it's important. (Coleman comes in) You know what really counts on camera? ...Charisma.
PETRIE: (still sorting out the tie) Mm hm.
ISBECKI: That's how I'm gonna rack up all my points. I heard there were always a couple of lady judges.
PETRIE: Nobody knows who the judges are, Victor.
ISBECKI: Yeah. There's gotta be some women in there. Right? You know, equal opportunity and all that garbage. ...What do you think about my hair?
COLEMAN: I remember the old days when mastery of many situations proved the detective's worth. When judgement with grace under pressure made the difference. (looking in the mirror and adjusting his tie) You know, it took more than a pretty face to make Sergeant. But ...that was before the Brass decided that the written exam wasn't enough to judge a sergeant candidate. Now they've gotta make 'em TV stars as well.
ISBECKI: Give me a break, Coleman. It wasn't our idea to do the interview on tape.
COLEMAN: Don't forget to powder your nose, Victor, your nose is shining.
ISBECKI: Get out of here, Coleman!
COLEMAN: Break a leg, Victor.
ISBECKI: Hey, thank you, buddy.

[Samuels' office]

SAMUELS: (coming in followed by Chris) ..., that's all. I've seen it before. Cop gets tired, a little burn out. First thing you know, he wants to chuck it all. You remember that time before when she took off.
CHRISTINE: Yeah, but this isn't a burn out weekend. She's just been operated on for cancer.
SAMUELS: Course she's worn out. Going through something like that, it's gotta take its toll. Wait, you'll see. As soon as she's felling a little active again.
CHRISTINE: No, she feels great! I've gotta tell you, she's never looked better. She's beat this thing and she's still ready to kick off her entire career. I don't know if she's going through a mid-life crisis.
SAMUELS: (smiling) I thought that was only for guys.
CHRISTINE: No, I don't think so. Anyway, please, Lieutenant, you've gotta talk some sense into her.
SAMUELS: Cagney, I've told you already, if a cop thinks he's ready to throw in the towel, the first thing he does is take some time off, just like she's doing. Starts hanging around the house with the wife and kids trying to figure out what to do with the rest of his life and then ...the cat's going stir-crazy. Believe me. She'll be back.
CHRISTINE: (having thought to pursue it further) Thank you, Lieutenant.

[Detectives' Squad room]

COLEMAN: (into phone) Yes, she just came in. Hang on a minute. Cagney, Line one. It's your parking garage.
CHRISTINE: Great. My transmission's probably leaking again.
COLEMAN: (to Petrie) Do you know when I took the test, I scored in the upper ten percentile of the top one hundred guys.
CHRISTINE: (into phone) Cagney.
PETRIE: Coleman, come on, when you took the test there were only one hundred guys competing.
CHRISTINE: (into phone and leaping up) What?!!!

[Parking garage]

CHRISTINE: (to them all lined up) Three attendants, on duty. And some punk walks in here and steals my car from under their noses!
GARAGE OWNER: My men don't have eyes in the back of their heads.
CHRISTINE: How about in front?!!!
GARAGE OWNER: Look, lady, if your not happy with our service...
CHRISTINE: Happy!!! You rip me off three hundred and fifty dollars a month for this junk parking space and this lousy security, and you ask me to be happy!! I'm a good mind to shut you down for public fraud, mister.
UNIFORMED OFFICER #1: (female officer coming up from a patrol car which has just come in) We have a report of a stolen vehicle.
CHRISTINE: No kidding!! This is what you're looking for. Canary yellow, sixty-eight Corvette, white interior, six-shift. Licence number eight-one-oh, F, E, M. Vehicle identification number R, T, two-three-seven-seven-two-eight-nine.
UNIFORMED OFFICER #2: (male officer taking the details) Did you say it was yellow?
CHRISTINE: I said canary yellow!!! Do I have to start at the top with you guys?!
UNIFORMED OFFICER #1: No, ma'am.
CHRISTINE: Good deal. I want this alarm put out on the telefax and on the air within an hour. (as the uniformed officers leave, Chris notices some graffiti on the wall) Wait a minute! This wasn't here when I parked my car last weekend. I want a photographer down here taking pictures. I think the thief left his signature.

[Police Headquarters Sergeant's Exam]

(the panel is all male)
CHIEF EXAMINER: Sergeant's candidate Isbecki, we'd like you to simulate the appropriate handling of the following incident. There is a disturbance at the Toulouse Lautrec Restaurant. A drunk and disorderly customer who claims to be a member of the international diplomatic community refuses to leave the premises. Officer O'Herlihy here to my right will simulate the role of the alleged diplomat. ...The tape is running.
ISBECKI: (getting out his shield) Sergeant Isbecki from the Fourteenth, Mr. O'Herlihy. I have been called to escort you from the premises.
O'HERLIHY: (getting up) I don't care who you are. I have diplomatic immunity. See this passport here. (handing the passport to Isbecki) I'm staying right here until I get the drink I ordered.
ISBECKI: I'll need to confirm this information with my Duty Captain, sir, to ascertain its correctness. In the meantime I'll have to ask you to refrain from consuming any more alcohol.
O'HERLIHY: You can ask anything you want, boy. I'm staying right here until I get the drink I ordered.
ISBECKI: Wait a second. Wait a second. Look, you can't do that, sir. I mean, you would never call me 'boy'. No way. Not with my build, you know.
CHIEF EXAMINER: The tape is still running.
ISBECKI: Er...

[Samuels' office]

SAMUELS: You're looking very nice, Lacey. You look well, like you're all better.
MARY BETH: Well, I'm feeling better, sir.
SAMUELS: You, know, Lacey, if you er, submit this request for leave-of-absence, you're gonna be officially off the payroll.
MARY BETH: But I have the option of returning as long as I do it within twelve months. Is that correct, sir?
SAMUELS: Yeah, that's true but, don't forget that if, at that time, you make up your mind, that's it. You're officially terminated. You don't get a second chance.
MARY BETH: I wouldn't ask for one.
SAMUELS: You know you're gonna lose your seniority and all the medical insurance benefits while you're off? You know how much insurance costs you these days, don't you? I think you've got more people to consider here besides yourself, Lacey. How steady has Harvey's work been lately?
MARY BETH: With due respect, sir, that's none of your business.
SAMUELS: What if one of the kids gets sick?
MARY BETH: Gee, Lieutenant, you're not making this very easy.
SAMUELS: Well, it shouldn't be easy. It should be damned hard. I don't want you to make a decision you're gonna regret one day. We're talking here a fourteen-year investment, Lacey. What do you think about that? ...You're a fine officer, Lacey, ...with a good record. I think, therefore, that maybe a couple more weeks on the City's expense account is OK. Take them.
MARY BETH: I'm not sick anymore. That wouldn't be right. Thanks anyway, Lieutenant.
(he gives her the request form and they shake hands)

[Detectives' Squad room]

(as Mary Beth comes out of Samuels' office Chris comes in)
CHRISTINE: Mary Beth!
MARY BETH: Oh, oh, hi ya, Chris.
CHRISTINE: You didn't say you were coming in.
MARY BETH: I've gotta hurry. I'm meeting the boys after school.
(Mary Beth walks out past Chris)
CHRISTINE: Please. ...Mary Beth.
MARY BETH: (turning back) I'm late. ...Chris, I'm sorry.

[Laceys' lounge]

(Mary Beth is clearing up in the kitchen while Harvey is stretched out on his easy chair)
MARY BETH: Would you believe those boys? They didn't even touch their zucchini.
HARVEY: It's OK, babe. With all the cooking you've been doing, I'm eating enough for both of them.
MARY BETH: Hey, shove over.
HARVEY: (as she snuggles up on his lap) Whoa, whoa, hold it.
MARY BETH: How you doing on that Columbus Avenue bid, Harve?
HARVEY: Good. Real good, I think. I can't believe the big boys are gonna bid any lower. I mean, what's my overhead. ...Nothing. I think we've made the deal. A real nice piece of change, Mary Beth.
MARY BETH: So we're doing all right, huh? Pretty much caught up. Right?
HARVEY: Hey, relax your head. I've told you. With your insurance we've got the hospital thing covered.
MARY BETH: Harve, I went by the precinct today. I picked up the request for leave-of-absence. What do you think? Do you think we could make it on one salary? I mean, just for a while. 'til Harve Jr. graduates high school. 'til Michael's a little older.
HARVEY: I always said I didn't want you to work.
MARY BETH: I wanted to work, Harve.
HARVEY: If it hadn't been for that bum streak of luck with my inner ear problem you'd have stopped a long time ago.
MARY BETH: I like to work. I like my job. Things are different, that's all.
HARVEY: You fought it off, babe. Rough times are over. I'm on my feet again. I can take care of my family just fine.
MARY BETH: It was too close, Harve. I mean ...I had to think about ...what it would be like if I'd have had ...only a couple more years. A couple more months with you and them. I want no regrets. I want never to ...wish that things had been different.
HARVEY: You wanna quit?
MARY BETH: Could we afford it?
HARVEY: What ever you want, Mary Beth, we can afford. (he gives a peck) Whatever you want, my sweetheart.

[Detectives' Squad room/Laceys' kitchen]

(Chris is on the phone to Mary Beth)
CHRISTINE: Well, I can tell you right those Uniforms are gonna foul up the sixty-one. You should have seen them. They were a couple of kiddie-cops.
(Harvey is sitting working. Mary Beth has the phone on the long lead to her ear while preparing a dish with a recipe book propped up in front of her)
MARY BETH: Maybe they'll come up with something, Christine.
CHRISTINE: I can't wait that long. Mary Beth, I thought you might come up with an idea and we could bounce it around.
MARY BETH: You do alright in the ideas department, Christine.
CHRISTINE: Mary Beth,...
PETRIE: Chris, call for you.
(she waves him away)
CHRISTINE: ...you get angles that no one else ever thought of.
MARY BETH: Chris, I'm in the middle of a kind of tricky haut cuisine sauce. Can I call you back this afternoon?
CHRISTINE: I'll tell you what. I'm gonna be downtown to see the car-theft detective boys anyway. Why don't I swing by afterwards?
MARY BETH: Oh, no, that would not be good.
CHRISTINE: Why not?
MARY BETH: I'm taking Michael to the orthodontist.
CHRISTINE: How about tomorrow?
MARY BETH: No. Tomorrow we're going to Bronxville.
CHRISTINE: Well, when are you and the boys going to be home?
MARY BETH: Oh, don't know. Maybe at six.
CHRISTINE: Oh, that'll be perfect. I'll see you then.
(Chris rings off. Mary Beth gets up and puts the phone back on it's hook on the wall)

[Lacey's kitchen]

MARY BETH: That woman is something else. Steamrollers have nothing on her.
HARVEY: You and Chris got problems?
MARY BETH: No not me. It's not my problem. I'm not on company time anymore, but she's got a problem. Somebody stole her car. I mean it's lousy, but she's treating it like it's life and death or something. I've gotta drop everything and come and help her.
HARVEY: Maybe it's not the car she's so worked up about.
MARY BETH: Ah?
HARVEY: How does she feel about you not working?
MARY BETH: You know Chris? Any time she doesn't get her way, she gets very grumpy.
HARVEY: I don't think you're being fair here, Mary Beth. I mean, staying home might be great for you right now. Chris, she's losing her partner.
MARY BETH: I have a right to lead my life the way I want to without checking with Christine Cagney. ...No matter what she says.
(she carries on working on preparing the dish at the stove)
MARY BETH: Oh, why don't you fix this pilot light here? That side works, this never does.

[Police Headquarters]

(Chris is watching a slide show of different graffiti signatures with Frank Boyle)
BOYLE: 'Ghetto art' the papers call it. Every gang has it's own special signature. (he has Sherlock Holmes pipe permanently on in his mouth) The Fifth Street Boys specialise in black-and-white death masks. Here is the Avenue B Apaches calling card. You see the red crosses dripping with blood. You notice how the letters are practically hieroglyphics. It's just like they have their own special code. This one you can make out. This is a C and an S. It stands for Con Safos. A lot of these guys' fathers were in the same gang before them.
CHRISTINE: (with the smoke from his pipe blowing across her face) Look, I don't need a lesson in street gangs, Detective. I need to find the whereabouts of the thieves who ripped off my car.
BOYLE: You wanna develop a little appreciation for art, Detective Cagney. With all the stress of contemporary society, I find it soothing to the soul. Now this is the Shadow Warriors signature. You notice the three-dimensional block letters in orange and blue similar to the El Vengador signature on your parking space.
CHRISTINE: Sure is. So, where do we find the Shadow Warriors?

[Squad car]

BOYLE: As soon as we cross over Bedford Avenue we'll be on Shadow Warriors territory. El Vengador is the busiest boy with the spray gun. He's probably trying to earn his stripes with the gang's senior members. Spraying his name in the most outrageous places, including when stealing your car.
CHRISTINE: So, how long before we can run down an address?
BOYLE: Could be a matter of hours. On the other hand it could take a few days.
CHRISTINE: In a few days my car's gonna be stripped to the floorboards! ...Wait a minute. Slow down.
BOYLE: What?
CHRISTINE: (seeing a red Corvette parked) Look at that!
BOYLE: He could have sprayed it.
CHRISTINE: I'm gonna check out the serial number.

[Brooklyn street]

(Chris gets out of the Squad car and putting her hands on the car to stoop down to check the number, she sets off the alarm. The detective joins her. Suddenly a door opposite the Corvette on the pavement bursts open and a Latino dentist, Dr. Acuinto, brandishing a gun, comes out followed by nurses and others. He shouts in Spanish. Chris and the detective raise their hands)
CHRISTINE: We are police officers. We are investigating an auto theft. I am gonna reach into my left pocket and get my badge.
DR. ACUINTO: (coming closer still pointing the gun) No! No!
CHRISTINE: (to Boyle) Do you have any ideas?
BOYLE: How's your Spanish?
CHRISTINE: Comme ci, comme ça.
(the detective addresses Dr. Acuinto in fluent Spanish)
DR. ACUINTO: (waving the gun) No, no, no, Senor. (further Spanish)
BOYLE: He's called the cops.
(a patrol car, siren blaring, is heard pulling up)

[Detectives' Squad room]

(as Chris stalks back in)
COLEMAN: (coming through) Grand larceny auto and you make bail already!
CHRISTINE: Di Marti, weren't Petrie and Isbecki on a hot-car ring about two months ago?
DI MARTI: Yeah, until they hit a dead end. It's buried in Petrie's files.
CHRISTINE: How dead is it?
DI MARTI: Very green.
COLEMAN: (coming back) 'Tomorrow's another day', kiddie.
CHRISTINE: (to Coleman) It was easy for Scarlett. But it lost her the plantation.
(she goes to the files in Petrie's bottom desk drawer. Petrie and Isbecki come in unseen. Isbecki leans against the wall where she can see him. Continuing to look through the files she realises Petrie is also there)
PETRIE: Can I help you?
CHRISTINE: Hi ya, Marcus. I thought you'd left.
PETRIE: You were wrong.
CHRISTINE: Oh, well, I didn't wanna bother you at home, what with Claudia and Lauren and all that. I was just looking for an old file here from those car thefts you were investigating.
PETRIE: You could have asked for it.
CHRISTINE: Well, actually, I was trying to do you a favour.
PETRIE: And how's that?
CHRISTINE: Well, I thought if I could get a lead, you see, on my missing car, it maybe would help you solve your dead case.
PETRIE: You know, I hate to tell you this Chris, this is no small-time operation. They fill orders for big-spenders in a prime European market, and if they had an order for a canary yellow sports car, your baby could be on its way to Marseilles by right now!
(he has pulled out the file and flings it down)
CHRISTINE: Thanks for the encouragement.
PETRIE: (going off) You're welcome!
ISBECKI: You can get in my drawers anytime you want, Cagney.
CHRISTINE: (under her breath as Isbecki goes off) Be still my heart.

[Laceys' kitchen]

MARY BETH: If we get to the Planetarium right after school, we can see the laser show. Then we can hear the whole story of the stars and the planets and the Big Bang and the beginning of the Universe.
HARVEY JR.: Will it take long? I've gotta meet a friend from my class at five to work on my history project.
MARY BETH: Oh, all right, why don't you just bring him along and then you can come back here and study?
HARVEY JR.: Oh, we've already made plans to study at her house.
MARY BETH: Her house? (calling out) Harvey! Pancakes are getting cold. (to Michael) Oh well, I guess it's just you and me, huh, kiddo.
MICHAEL: Sorry Mum.
MARY BETH: What do you mean 'Sorry Mum'? I made special plans for you guys.
HARVEY: Morning.
MARY BETH: Not so far, it isn't. What's your excuse then, man?
MICHAEL: Eustace Chambers and I have got a chance for basketball first-team try out.
MARY BETH: Oh! Since when are you playing basketball already?
MICHAEL: I've been doing it all term, Mum.
MARY BETH: That explains it.
HARVEY JR.: (jumping up) I've gotta go. See you later, Mum.
MARY BETH: What are you doing? You haven't touched your breakfast. Are you feeling all right?
HARVEY JR.: I'm fine. Bye Dad.
HARVEY: Bye babe.
MICHAEL: I think he's in love with Stephanie.
MARY BETH: Stephanie who?
MICHAEL: Stephanie Aldie. She's stacked. Bye Mum. Bye Dad. (as he goes out) Maybe we'll go to the Planetarium next week.
MARY BETH: Stacked?
HARVEY: Stacked. I've gotta run.
MARY BETH: Why does he say that? What about your breakfast?
HARVEY: I'm running behind.
MARY BETH: (grabbing his hand) You're not going anywhere. See, I made this breakfast here. Fresh-made pancakes and special blueberry syrup. There's no point in eating by yourself.
HARVEY: (woofing down a few mouthfuls of pancake while still standing) Why don't you do something special today? Why don't you buy yourself a new dress?
MARY BETH: I bought myself a new dress yesterday.
HARVEY: Why don't you go the beauty parlour?
MARY BETH: What's the matter? Don't you like the way I'm doing my hair?
HARVEY: Are we having fun yet?
MARY BETH: Go on. Get out of here! Go!
HARVEY: You've got a great face. Do you know that?
MARY BETH: Go. Get out of here.
(he gives her a final kiss)
MARY BETH: (shouting after him) Harvey!
HARVEY: What?
MARY BETH: Have you got any cash?
HARVEY: Yes.
(he comes back and peels her off some dollar bills)
MARY BETH: Thank you. Bye.
(she looks round at the unfinished breakfasts and then checks her hair)

[Detective' Squad room]

(Chris is looking out a file)
COLEMAN: Cagney! Do you know the purpose of the mailbox?
CHRISTINE: I'm busy Coleman. OK?
COLEMAN: The purpose of the mailbox is for the detectives to look inside once in a while to see if there's a message for them.
CHRISTINE: Coleman!
COLEMAN: From your friend Boyle. Name and address of a suspect in Brooklyn. (Chris grabs her coat and rushes out) You're welcome.

[Police Headquarters Sergeant's Exam]

(Petrie's video exam is interspersed with scenes of her following up the lead on the suspect)
CHIEF EXAMINER: Sergeant's candidate Petrie. We'd like to hear the step-by-step procedure and explain the proper way to interrogate a suspect. Are you ready?
PETRIE: Yes I am. ...The object of any interrogation is to take control of the situation and place the suspect at total disadvantage. First... (Chris is in a graffitied apartment block corridor) ...separate the suspect from any familiar environment and conduct the interrogation in alien surroundings, preferably Precinct Headquarters. (Chris knocks at an apartment door) In order to maximise the intimidation of the suspect, the physical location should offer no distractions of any kind that might deter the suspect's focus from the officers in charge. (Chris knocks again) Always remain and in full control of the situation. (Chris kicks the door and walks away) Once the procedure commences the officer-in-charge should never leave the site without having achieved some forward movement in the interrogation. (Chris, back in the street, walks off fed up) Assuming full authority, the interrogating officer must remain calm, controlled, alert and constantly vigilant, not allowing their attention to wander from the situation under surveillance. (Chris is back in the Squad car outside the address, laying back with her eyes shut) To further intimidate the suspect, official folders with the suspect's name attached should be prominently displayed within visual range. (Chris is alerted by somebody shouting in Spanish) This will indicate to the suspect that the most exacting standards of professional police procedure have been utilised... (in the car mirror Chris sees a car draw up behind the Squad car) ...to ensure positive identification and a high degree of information and intelligence bearing upon the matter in question. (Chris gets out and goes up to the man from the car behind who is taking a bundle of bridal dress items from the boot) The first questions asked are designed to be answered in the affirmative in order to measure response.

[Brooklyn street]

CHRISTINE: El Vengador?
EL VENGADOR: Oh baby, what can I do for you?
(when she shows him her badge he makes a run for it carrying the bundle)

[Police Headquarters Sergeant's Exam]

PETRIE: If at first the suspect is uncooperative, the questioner will continue to exhibit full mastery of the situation. (El Vengador is running down the street still carrying the bundle) The officer-in-charge will introduce another simple question... (Chris tackles El Vengador to the pavement) ...continuing the strain until the desired affirmative answer has been elicited. The purpose is to build slowly to the more incriminating questions.

[Brooklyn street]

CHRISTINE: (to El Vengador) Do you wanna chili dog?

[Police Headquarters Sergeant's Exam]

CHIEF EXAMINER: Very good.
(Petrie smiles)

[Hotdog counter]

CHRISTINE: I said 'Have a chili dog'. (pointing to the counter) Now get in here! There! (to the vendor) Two please. Sit down. Now, this is the big picture, Mr. Esteves.
EL VENGADOR: You can call me Hector.
CHRISTINE: Fine, Hector. This could be your last chili dog in the free world. Right now I can book you on grand larceny and resisting arrest. Or I can give a poor kid a break, if I get my car back.
EL VENGADOR: I don't know what you're talking about, lady.
CHRISTINE: Yeah, well, you can call me Detective Cagney.
EL VENGADOR: All right, Detective Cagney. See now, this puts me in a kind of bad spot, you know. I mean, I've got nobody to give me no real advice or nothing, being as I've never been in this kind of trouble before. But if I had some fancy lawyer, if I had a serious problem like this, if I was in a situation where some nice lady cop worked me over, if you'll excuse the expression, I'd hardly be likely to do anything to incriminate myself.
CHRISTINE: Quit the smoke, Hector. I saw the evidence you left when you stole my car. El Vengador.
EL VENGADOR: Now, that's a very popular name in my neighbourhood. Maybe you've got me confused with somebody else.
CHRISTINE: Do you know more than one car thief called El Vengador?
EL VENGADOR: I told you I sell bridal gowns. Look now, this is classy stuff I've got here. I've got satin skirts, rhinestone baby veils. And I can do a real cool price for two.
CHRISTINE: I hate to think where you ripped those off.
EL VENGADOR: You're hurting my feelings.
CHRISTINE: (taking out her handcuffs) And I'd really hate to lock somebody up on our first meeting.
EL VENGADOR: Look, miss, I was thinking, maybe some of my friends might have seen your car. Right? Maybe if I just ask around.
CHRISTINE: Maybe they already mentioned it to you. Maybe you could even take me there.
EL VENGADOR: Well if I knew, I wouldn't get the hombre in trouble?
CHRISTINE: Decent citizen. The person disclosing the whereabouts of a stolen vehicle wouldn't be implicated in the theft.
EL VENGADOR: Cagney, ...we can talk.

[Beauty salon]

(another housewife is alongside Mary Beth. They both have their hair in rollers)
HOUSEWIFE: You got any snaps?
(Mary Beth is waiting for her fingernails to dry)
MARY BETH: Oh, oh, I have a few in my purse.
HOUSEWIFE: Do you want me to go in?
MARY BETH: In my wallet, right there.
HOUSEWIFE: Oh, I just love pictures. No matter how old you get, you look just so young in them.
MARY BETH: That's Harvey Jr. That's his picture from eighth grade. But the school portraits never do them justice.
HOUSEWIFE: Oh, yes, he's so handsome. He's got your eyes. Big and brown just like Bambi's.
MARY BETH: Yeah.
HOUSEWIFE: Who's this?
MARY BETH: That's Michael. That's his first day at school.
HOUSEWIFE: Well, he's so tall already. Is he six now?
MARY BETH: No, he's ten, going on eleven. No baby!
HOUSEWIFE: Oh, who's this?
MARY BETH: That's my husband, Harve Sr. and me. That's an old one.
HOUSEWIFE: Are you dressed up for some costume party or something?
MARY BETH: Actually that's my graduation picture from the Police Academy.
HOUSEWIFE: You're a policewoman?! Like Angie Dickinson?
MARY BETH: Oh, no, I wish. I'm a detective.
HOUSEWIFE: Like Kojak.
MARY BETH: Yes, sort of.
HOUSEWIFE: No kidding. You run around with one of those red lights on top of your car?
MARY BETH: Sometimes.
HOUSEWIFE: Oh, your family must be so proud.

[Outside a garage lot]

(it is dark. Chris and El Vengador are peering through the closed gates)
CHRISTINE: Are you sure?
EL VENGADOR: On the grave of my mother. An hombre I know delivered it himself.
CHRISTINE: (looking at her watch) Well, we've missed him.
EL VENGADOR: That's OK. We can break in.
CHRISTINE: Er, Hector, no thanks. I'd be much more comfortable with a search warrant in the morning.
EL VENGADOR: It's up to you. (Chris gets in the Squad car) You know, you're not a bad looking lady. Especially when you smile, you know. I bet some hombres are after you, maybe even begging to shack up with you. Huh?
CHRISTINE: (giving him a smile) Hector, I'm not I'm not on the market for rhinestone baby bridal veils.
EL VENGADOR: Oh, not now. Not now. Later, ...Cagney. Who can say? Look, you and me. We like the same cars.
CHRISTINE: We will. You owe me.
EL VENGADOR: How? Owe you?
CHRISTINE: That's what I said. Solid, reliable, straight information whenever I want it.
EL VENGADOR: You mean a snitch?
CHRISTINE: We call them confidential informers.
(she drives off. El Vengador tries to stop her)
EL VENGADOR: Cagney! Hey, Cagney!
(she stops at the corner)
EL VENGADOR: I levelled with you!
CHRISTINE: Hey, Hector, I'm levelling with you. Look at it this way. Another cop could still set you up for grand larceny auto. ...It's up to you.
(she drives off)

[Laceys' kitchen]

(Mary Beth is sitting at the table cleaning off her fingernails. There is a knock at the door)
MARY BETH: Yeah? (she looks through the peephole) Oh! Hey. (opens the door) Hi ya, Chris. (Chris stares at Mary Beth's hair) I've been at the beauty parlour all day. They've got me fixed up like a poodle. What do you think? (Chris is speechless) Harvey hates it too. I hate it and I'm gonna wash it out. Take your coat off. I spent two hours under the drier. I was thinking about your car.
CHRISTINE: Oh, I found it.
MARY BETH: Forty-eight hours. You found it. Great.
CHRISTINE: Oh, I think I found it. I found the thief. Right little con man, I'll tell you. He'd have a great political career available. Anyway, he took me to where he laid it off, and I'm gonna go by tomorrow with a search warrant.
MARY BETH: Great. So you didn't need me for any ideas after all, huh? Do you wanna a drink?
CHRISTINE: No.
(Mary Beth opens a bottle of wine)
MARY BETH: Harve just went out for pizza. Do you wanna stay for dinner? I told him you might come by.
CHRISTINE: I see you've fixed up the apartment. New slip covers and everything.
MARY BETH: Yeah, and pillows. Yeah, I finally figured it out about needlepoint. It looks easy, but it's hard on the eyes, believe me. Those little tiny stitches. And you see the kitchen cabinets here? Harve's been promising for years to paint these, and I told him I'd paint them myself. Put new shelf paper. (pointing to under the work surface) New curtains. Cleaned out all the closets. A lot of things. (she takes a swig from a glass of wine) I keep busy.
CHRISTINE: Still keeping busy?
MARY BETH: Oh yeah. I've been reading cookbooks, cover to cover, and there's this new biography that's interesting.
CHRISTINE: I wish you could hear yourself.
MARY BETH: Mm?
CHRISTINE: Cleaning out closets and you're papering shelves and reading biographies. You're filling your time, Mary Beth. You're making up stuff to stay home.
MARY BETH: I'm doing what I wanna do.
CHRISTINE: Listen, Mary Beth, I know what's going on in your mind. You're afraid if you come back to work, everybody around you is going to be walking on eggshells because you had cancer.
MARY BETH: Hell, even the word is scary.
CHRISTINE: But you beat it!
MARY BETH: Yeah, I beat it, for now. But er, they're all be waiting around, to see if I have a relapse any minute. Do you think they're gonna give me a chance?
CHRISTINE: So get your tail up and prove they're wrong. Maybe you'll lose a couple of years. You're smart.
MARY BETH: A couple of years? How would you feel if you had to wait until, well, you're forty before you get another chance at the Sergeant's Exam?
CHRISTINE: So, you're gonna quit? ...For what? Do more needlepoint?
MARY BETH: What's it to you anyway? It's not gonna harm your precious career any. You don't need me.
CHRISTINE: Let me tell you something, Mary Beth. When they first told me I was gonna be partnered with a woman, I was not too thrilled. Frankly I told my father I didn't think you could cut it. After he met you, do you know what he said? He said 'There's a woman who knows people. Christine. You can't go out on the streets without having a partner who knows people.'. Next to me, I think you're the best cop in action I've ever seen. ...Sometimes maybe better. ...'Cos you keep your head. You've got it screwed on straight. I think you're damn selfish to throw everything we've got going for us.
(after a long pause when they look at one another Chris puts on her coat to leave)
HARVEY [OC]: Man with a hot Pizza! Man with a hot pizza coming through!
(the door opens and Harvey comes in carrying three pizzas)
HARVEY: Hey, Luigi's personal delivery. The best pizzas by post. Oh, hi ya, Chris.
CHRISTINE: Hi ya, Harvey.
HARVEY: Hi ya, sweetheart.
MARY BETH: (quietly) Hi.
HARVEY: All right, all right. You've got pepperoni for me and the boys. Sausage with onions for the blonde. And anchovies for the lady doll. Is that true love or what?!
CHRISTINE: Harvey, I'm sorry, I've gotta get home and start boning up for my Sergeant's Exam.
HARVEY: Hey, come on Chris, we've got enough. Stay for dinner. (to Mary Beth) Right, honey.
CHRISTINE: No, I'm sorry, I can't. Thank you. Sorry, Mary Beth.
(Chris leaves)
HARVEY: Something the matter here?
MARY BETH: No, I think she's got her mind on the Sergeant's interview, that's all.
HARVEY: How about you, babe? Are you bad about missing it?
MARY BETH: Are you kidding. Who needs that pressure, huh? (pointing to the pizzas) Why don't you tell the boys that er... Tell 'em they'll love it. Mum didn't cook tonight.
HARVEY: OK. Mum didn't cook tonight. Mikey! Harvey! Pizza! Dinner's on guys.

[Detectives' Squad room]

CHRISTINE: (into phone) It's been three hours since I called for the search warrant. ...What is it coming by way of Kentucky or what?! ...Well find out before the judge tees off. Track him down!!!
ISBECKI: Cagney, you know I'm getting worried about you. ...Getting all upset over a car. This might be a good time to take a hard look at your priorities, you know what I mean. Bon Bon and I, we were discussing this the other day. Friendship, ...health, ...a nice body to keep you warm at night. ...These are the important things in life.
CHRISTINE: Thank you, Victor, for that piece of inspiration.
ISBECKI: You're welcome.
CHRISTINE: In the meantime my car is on a slow boat to China!
ISBECKI: I disagree. I think Marcus is right. Probably Marseilles.
PETRIE: Maybe Genoa.
SAMUELS [OC]: Cagney!

[Samuels' office]

SAMUELS: You know, I've been bending the rules, er, keeping you on desk duty this long.
CHRISTINE: I don't understand.
SAMUELS: It's time that you started thinking about a new partner. Normally I give the option of picking from four available detectives and I've got a list of their names here. I want you to look 'em over and let me know. I will need to know by next week.
CHRISTINE: It's not a lot of time.
SAMUELS: Cagney, it's gotta be next week or I'm gonna have to make the assignment without your input.
CHRISTINE: Yes. Lieutenant.
SAMUELS: (she goes to leave) You know, I had ten partners over the years. Some were better than others. Some were just er... One way or another, you make it work with all of them. (she goes to leave again) Hey, not even marriages last forever. You know.
(Chris smiles)

[Laceys' lounge]

(Harvey Jr. is still in his bedclothes. Mary Beth is taking his temperature)
MARY BETH: Ninety-nine.
HARVEY JR.: It's only four tenths of a degree above normal.
MARY BETH: A fever's a fever, Harvey. Here. Drink some more juice.
HARVEY JR.: I'm gonna drown.
MARY BETH: Don't smart-mouth me, Harve.
HARVEY JR.: You were never like this before.
MARY BETH: Like what?
HARVEY JR.: We had to be half-dead before you'd let us miss school. ...Mom, can I go to school, please, I feel fine. Honest.
MARY BETH: Oh, honey, it's after eleven o'clock.
HARVEY JR.: I could still make gym class. (he gets up to go and dress) You won't need to be waiting on me, Mom.
(Mary Beth drinks the juice)

[Police Headquarters Sergeant's Exam]

CHIEF EXAMINER: Sergeant's candidate Cagney, you have a case of grand larceny. Let's get started on the investigation procedure.
CHRISTINE: What is the object stolen, sir.
CHIEF EXAMINER: Grand larceny auto.
(Chris gives a wry smile)

[Detectives' Squad room]

SAMUELS: Coleman, is Cagney back yet?
COLEMAN: Not yet, Lieutenant. Look who's here showing us pictures of her kids.
MARY BETH: I just came by to pick up some more of those insurance forms.
SAMUELS: We could have mailed them to you. It would have saved you a trip.
MARY BETH: Oh, that's all right. I was downtown anyway.
COLEMAN: You're living the life of Reilly while the rest of us slave away. Right, Lacey?
MARY BETH: Oh come on, Coleman.
CHRISTINE: Hi, Mary Beth.
MARY BETH: Hi. Anything new on your car?
CHRISTINE: There should be. I'm just waiting to hear about the search warrant.
SAMUELS: Well, you've just missed it. I've just sent Isbecki and Petrie out with it.
CHRISTINE: Isbecki and Petrie?!!
SAMUELS: Well, they said you wanted to move fast.
CHRISTINE: You can't give them my collar.
SAMUELS: I can't what?!
MARY BETH: What she meant, sir, is maybe they'll need a backup, sir.
SAMUELS: And how do you figure that?
CHRISTINE: Come on, Lieutenant, it's my car. They don't even know...
MARY BETH: ...the neighbourhood. They don't know the neighbourhood, sir. And (pointing to Chris) she sussed it out last night. Right?
CHRISTINE: That's it. That's what I did. I went and checked out the whole area. It's a very bad place, Lieutenant. There's a lot of gang warfare and it's a dangerous collar and I just think they should have...
MARY BETH: ...every advantage, sir. Every advantage.
CHRISTINE: I wanna be there for my brothers in blue.
MARY BETH: Yes sir, it's like you always say, sir, it's a fine line between us and them, sir.
SAMUELS: Team spirit, huh? I like it. Get out of here the both of yous.
CHRISTINE: (rushing off) Thank you, Lieutenant. (turning to Mary Beth) ...Are you coming?
MARY BETH: Do you want me to?
CHRISTINE: Do you want to?!
MARY BETH: Yeah, I want to.
CHRISTINE: Come on!!

[Squad car]

MARY BETH: What's the matter, Christine, Your accelerator broken. They've got ten minutes on you.
CHRISTINE: Have you looked at the traffic? They're like a lot of old women driving out here today.
MARY BETH: Well, if I was you, Christine, I'd get on the horn and tell 'em I was on my way.
CHRISTINE: I can't do that, Mary Beth.

[Squad car 2]

ISBECKI: (into walkie-talkie) Hey, Cagney, we're trying to save your baby before the bad guys get it on the black market.

[Squad car]

CHRISTINE: (into walkie-talkie) I will save my own baby, thank you very much. It's my car, my lead and my collar, have you got that?

[Squad car 2]

ISBECKI: (into walkie-talkie) You've no time, Cagney. At this moment some very nasty men could be boarding it up on a big old ocean liner to take it far, far away.

[Squad car]

CHRISTINE: (into walkie-talkie) Shove of, Isbecki. Petrie!

[Squad car 2]

PETRIE: Don't you worry, Chris, we're heading them off at the pass. We can't let you go into that den of thieves alone. Over.

[Squad car]

MARY BETH: (into walkie-talkie) Hey, she's not alone, you smart mouth.

[Squad car 2]

ISBECKI: First come, first served, girls. Oh. listen, don't worry, Cagney, we'll hold the bad guys for your personal interrogation. Over.

[Squad car]

CHRISTINE: Can you believe those clowns?
MARY BETH: Floor it!
(Mary Beth puts the red light on the roof and the siren starts)

[Outside the garage lot]

(Petrie and Isbecki are parked watching a mechanic working on a car. The duo is shouting at the traffic. A bus pulls across their path. The mechanic looks suspiciously at Petrie and Isbecki. The mechanic walks off down the alley away from the garage as the duo's car screams to a halt across the entrance to the alley. Petrie and Isbecki get out of their car and the mechanic, caught between the two, runs off down a sideway)
ISBECKI: (shooting to the duo) Let's go!
(Chris reverses their car. The Petrie/Isbecki car chases the mechanic up the sideway. The mechanic jumps over a wall down into another alley. The duo's car pulls up in front of him)
MARY BETH: Hold it right there, you creep.
MECHANIC: Don't shoot, lady, please. I said 'Don't shoot'!
Petrie and Isbecki, guns drawn, look over the wall above)
MARY BETH: You have the right to remain silent. If you give up the right to remain silent, anything you say...
CHRISTINE: Forget his rights.
(Chris grabs the mechanic by the lapels and slams him against a wall)
CHRISTINE: Where's my car?!!!
MECHANIC: What car?
CHRISTINE: My sixty-eight, canary yellow 'Vette!!
MECHANIC: That's a piece of junk!
CHRISTINE: Junk!!! It is a classic!!
MECHANIC: Hey, let me tell ya about that car. The night it came in, that lousy transmission was busted! It's been up in that loft for three days.
It's a bum.
CHRISTINE: Now you can read him his rights.
(Chris hands her gun to Mary Beth)
MARY BETH: Thank you. You, put your hands on the wall and turn around. You have the right to remain silent...
(later Chris looking round her Corvette)
MARY BETH: Some car, Chris. Are you glad to get it back?
CHRISTINE: Yeah. Can you believe that? The transmission. I just paid eight hundred bucks for the transmission! ...An oil leak too. Nobody can figure out where it comes from. I've had six different mechanics and none of them can figure it out. Do you know what? With the maintenance, the parking and the insurance. Do you know how much the insurance costs where I live?
MARY BETH: What?
CHRISTINE: Do you wanna know something, Mary Beth?
MARY BETH: What?
CHRISTINE: I never really liked that car.
MARY BETH: You never really liked the car?
CHRISTINE: The colour, I loved the colour. The car's been nothing but a problem.
MARY BETH: And you just risked our lives to get it back?
CHRISTINE: Yeah.
MARY BETH: Yeah.
CHRISTINE: Thanks for your help.
MARY BETH: Sure. It wasn't even a collar.
CHRISTINE: Yeah.
(Mary Beth hands Chris back her gun and they go to get in their car)
CHRISTINE: Listen. Do you wanna have lunch one day next week?
MARY BETH: Every day. ...Unless of course you've got other plans.
CHRISTINE: Every day?
MARY BETH: Yeah, they still give us an hour for lunch. Right?
CHRISTINE: An occasional drink at Muldoon's?
MARY BETH: Occasional.
CHRISTINE: Like today?
MARY BETH: You're still on the job today, Christine. You've got a lot of paperwork.
CHRISTINE: Me?
MARY BETH: Yeah, I'm not checking in until Monday.
CHRISTINE: Petrie and Isbecki have got a lot of paperwork. I'm having a drink with my partner.
(they smile at each other across the roof of the car and get in)

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