A Killer's Dozen
Original Airdate: March 26, 1984

[Meeting room]

(the duo comes in. The detectives are already being addressed by the union rep, Al Graham)
GRAHAM: There are twenty thousand Uniforms in this city. That's eighty percent of the force. ...If they walk, your contract binds you to cover for them until such time as they go back to work.
ISBECKI: You mean we've gotta go back on the beat?
GRAHAM: In uniform and in blue-and-white patrol cars. (looking at the contract conditions document) Failure to do so can result in the loss of your gold shield and a proportion of accrued benefits.
MARY BETH: Mr. Graham, How are five thousand detectives and supervisory personnel gonna cover the city?
GRAHAM: Badly. Well, at least there'll be a police presence. That's why they want you in uniform.
LA GUARDIA: Al, if you remember, when the Patrolman's Brotherhood went out in Seventy, a lot of the detectives called in sick.
GRAHAM: Right. That's why they put a due-cause clause in this contract. (Petrie is looking uneasy) 'Call in sick without due cause is tantamount to dereliction of duty and punishable by loss of rank and benefits'.

[Samuel's office]

MARY BETH: Can we talk about the meeting, sir?
SAMUELS: I don't wanna hear about that.
MARY BETH: But the strike call is tonight at midnight, sir.
SAMUELS: Either they're gonna walk or they're not gonna walk. There's nothing that you and I can do about that. Now, tell me about this 'Don Juan' thing. Where are you?
MARY BETH: Well, sir, we're er, questioning florists, then following up all the leads.
SAMUELS: In other words, you're nowhere!
MARY BETH: Sir, we've been working on this case three months...
SAMUELS: That's exactly the point! Eleven murdered women and this guy is still out on the loose. It's all over the papers. City Hall is getting pressured to act. So they're putting together a special homicide task force to coordinate this investigation.
CHRISTINE: What exactly does that mean, Lieutenant?
SAMUELS: It means that a group of detectives is gonna work exclusively on this case. They're gonna have their own headquarters, their own budget, their own personnel.
CHRISTINE: But we caught the first homicide. Eight of the eleven victims were found in our precinct. It should be our case.
SAMUELS: Well, it has been, Cagney, like you said. 'For three months'.
MARY BETH: Does it mean that Chris and I are off it?
SAMUELS: Listen, these guys got nothing else to do but to solve this case. They got access to the latest computers and they've got enough manpower to follow up every single lead. They're Pros!
CHRISTINE: So what are we? Chopped liver!
SAMUELS: That is not what I meant, Cagney, ...and you know it. Now you go down there and you talk to them. You give 'em what you can. They're gonna want a copy of your case file and then I don't see any reason why the two of you can't help out on this case in your spare time.
CHRISTINE: What spare time?
SAMUELS: Well, you get an hour for lunch.
(Chris walks out)
MARY BETH: Yes sir.

[Police Headquarters staircase]

CHRISTINE: Defeated.
MARY BETH: Not our fault.
CHRISTINE: So, why are they calling in the Marines?
MARY BETH: Because he's still out there.
CHRISTINE: What, they think they can catch him with a computer? Come on. We've followed up every lead. We've returned every phone call. We've talked to every geek and fruitcake. What more do they want?
MARY BETH: Don't take it personally.
CHRISTINE: If we had two more days a week, we could have nailed this guy.

[Homicide Task Force room]

CHRISTINE: Excuse me, where can we find Detective Crespi?
(a detective points)
MARY BETH: Thank you.
CHRISTINE: Detective Crespi?
CRESPI: Yeah, that's me. What do you want?
CHRISTINE: I'm Detective Cagney. Detective Lacey. We're from the Fourteenth. We caught the first homicide.
CRESPI: (looking at the large file Mary Beth is carrying) Is that it?
MARY BETH: Yes sir.
CRESPI: (opening the file) Hey, this is a photocopy.
MARY BETH: Oh, we keep the original for our files, sir.
CRESPI: Is it all here?
MARY BETH: Yeah, you got detailed reports on all the victims, witnesses interviewed, next-of kin, forensics, leads followed up. The works.
CRESPI: Very good. Thank you. ...OK. I'll be in touch if I need any clarification. Excuse me.
(he forces his way between them)
CHRISTINE: Oh look... Hey, look we've put a lot of time and labour into this and we'd like to keep our hand in it.
CRESPI: Listen Detective er...
MARY BETH: Cagney.
CRESPI: ...Cagney, listen I've got six full-time detectives. And I've got three secretaries. I've got ten phone lines. I've got twenty-four hour coverage. And I've got direct access to computer time. Now, that should be enough manpower, don't you think?
MARY BETH: Well, could you call us, at least, if you get a break? I'm mean, we've done a lot of groundwork here.
CRESPI: Yeah, will do.
(he walks away)
CHRISTINE: What a charming man.

[Lacey's kitchen]

(they are doing the washing up)
MARY BETH: Honey, they've been working without a contract since January thirty-first.
HARVEY: I don't care. Cops are special. It goes with the territory.
MARY BETH: They're only trying to keep up with inflation. They've got the same as we do. Rates, debts, the kids' shoes.
HARVEY: Mary Beth, how are you gonna protect society? It's an essential service. I mean, you think doctors should be able to go on strike?
MARY BETH: Doctors are different!
HARVEY: Yeah? Well, all I know is if those guys walk, this city is gonna be a war zone. Every low life is gonna think he's out on the town. ...I mean, you wouldn't walk, would ya?
MARY BETH: I was just saying...
HARVEY: Saying what?
MARY BETH: ... if this city was law-free and how bad I was hurting.
HARVEY: You hurt. I'll give your back a rub.
(Harvey massages her shoulders)
MARY BETH: Ah! Magic touch.
HARVEY: Come on, let's get into bed early tonight.
MARY BETH: No, I'm gonna stay up and listen to the news.
HARVEY: Why? So you lose a night's sleep? You'll find out soon enough in the morning. Come on, there's some mint chocolate and ice cream in the freezer. We'll have an oyster.
MARY BETH: What kind of a girl do you think I am?

[Laceys' bedroom]

(the following morning. Evidence of their little feast is apparent. The phone goes)
MARY BETH: (into phone) Hello. ...Christine. ...Oh. Oh no. ...Yeah. ...All right. ...Tell him I'll be there in an hour.
HARVEY: What happened?
MARY BETH: Uniforms are going out.

[Ladies' room]

(Mary Beth is already there. Chris comes in. They are both in uniform)
CHRISTINE: Oh.
MARY BETH: (doing up her tunic) If I don't breathe today I shall be all right,
CHRISTINE: I swore I would never wear this thing again. Not even on Halloween.
CHRISTINE: Damn! I cannot do this lousy tie. Can you help? Can you give me a hand here?
MARY BETH: I keep in practice with Harvey.
CHRISTINE: I've never seen Harvey wear a tie!
MARY BETH: Yeah. Christmas Eve. Easter Sunday. Weddings and funerals and the drag.
CHRISTINE: The drag?!
MARY BETH: Masonic Lodge.
CHRISTINE: I can't believe we're going out, huh?
MARY BETH: Well, they're setting up a picket line outside right now.
CHRISTINE: Terrific! That's all we need. Police harassment.
MARY BETH: Christine, I hate to cross the picket line.
CHRISTINE: It's not your union.
MARY BETH: It used to be!
CHRISTINE: Well, it's not anymore.
MARY BETH: You know that shop assistants thing? I used to walk six blocks to go to a supermarket to do my shopping.
CHRISTINE: Well, get ready. You heard that union rep say you could lose your gold shield.
MARY BETH: Yeah, and the people out there could lose their rent money.
CHRISTINE: You signed a contract, Mary Beth, agreeing not to strike.
MARY BETH: So did your father. And he went out.
CHRISTINE: What's my father got to do with this?
MARY BETH: A lot. A lot. Because he went out, you went on to get better pay, better medical and pension benefits, better hours...
CHRISTINE: You've paid your dues, Mary Beth, for the years you wore the uniform! Come on.
MARY BETH: What if it was us that were going out?
CHRISTINE: I don't expect anyone to fight my battles for me.
(the duo is now properly dressed, caps and all, standing in front of the mirror)
CHRISTINE: Well, it'll be an interesting roll call. ...Let's go! ...Come on!
(Mary Beth looks into the mirror and gives her teeth a final wipe)

[Detectives' Squad room]

(the others are all in uniform. La Guardia has an old-style, high-neck tunic. He is twirling his baton)
ISBECKI: Hey, you're pretty cute with that thing.
LA GUARDIA: My first beat was Dyckman Street, Washington Heights. Tough neighbourhood back then. You had to be pretty good with this baby.
ISBECKI: Yeah, but your uniform looks like it's from the Civil War.
LA GUARDIA: Actually it was the Korean War.
(Isbecki laughs. The duo comes in. He follows them to their desks)
ISBECKI: Not bad. Not bad at all! A little bush, maybe.
SAMUELS: All right, everyone. Come here. Now listen good. You could be out for a while and until such time as they're back, this is the way it's gonna run. You're all going on A and B shifts, twelve hours on and twelve hours off. I've set up a temporary dormitory upstairs for those who live in Jersey or out of the Island. You can stay over. Now, even though you retain your rank as Detective you will stay in uniform, because the keyword is visibility. We want you on the streets as much as possible, so we will take only priority calls. Deputy Inspector Knelman and myself will be here in the precinct. One of us will be here at all times. All right, any questions.
CHRISTINE: Yeah, what about our active case loads?
SAMUELS: Well, you stay with them if you can, but your first priority is to be on the streets and I don't want you hanging around here if you can help it. Anybody else.
MARY BETH: No sir.
SAMUELS: All right. Get yourselves blue-and-whites, two to a car, and er, Paul, get yourself fitted for a new uniform.
LA GUARDIA: They don't make 'em like this anymore, Bert. (indicating his old tunic) No synthetic fabric.
SAMUELS: I don't care. You look like the Keystone Cops.
(Isbecki and La Guardia begin to chat quietly. Samuels turns back)
SAMUELS: Hey, wait a sec. Wait a sec. Where is Petrie?
ISBECKI: He er, called in sick, Lieutenant.
SAMUELS: What's wrong with him?
ISBECKI: He's got a hundred and three fever.

[Precinct House hallway]

(the duo gets to the outside door. The picket line can be seen and heard)
CHRISTINE: (to Mary Beth) Come on! Do you wanna stay in uniform forever?
MARY BETH: No.
CHRISTINE: We're bound by our contract. Just keep on walking.

[Precinct House yard]

(they come out to a chorus of booing)
MALLORY: Scabs!
CHRISTINE: (as she gets in the car) Stow it, Mallory!

[Patrol car]

(as they drive out, Mallory runs alongside and shouts through the window)
MALLORY: You get in trouble someday, Cagney, don't bother radioing in for a backup.

[Lobby of Leticia McConnelly's apartment building]

(a woman's body is laying face down on the floor. Crespi puts evidence into bags including a red rose. The duo arrives)
CHRISTINE: We got it over the radio. What time did this go down?
CRESPI: Last night.
MARY BETH: Time?
CRESPI: I don't know that yet.
CHRISTINE: Any ID on her?
CRESPI: Listen I'm very busy. Why don't you check with Detective Chang, all right?
(Mary Beth goes off but Chris follows Crespi)
CHRISTINE: Does it look like number twelve to you?
(he waves the rose in the bag in front of her. She slaps it away)
CHRISTINE: Don't give me an attitude, Crespi. You're a detective, just like I am.
CRESPI: You're starting to look real good in that uniform there, Canfield.
CHRISTINE: Cagney.
CRESPI: Cagney.
CHRISTINE: So, how is it you men are not in uniform.
CRESPI: Well, we just don't look as pretty in them as you do.

[Patrol car]

MARY BETH: (looking at her notebook) ...Leticia McConnelly, thirty-two, five-four-seven East Sixty-fourth. Found in the lobby. We've got the victim profile. Blonde, young, attractive. We've got the location, the red rose, the strangulation with the piano wire...
CHRISTINE: Who the hell does he think he is?
MARY BETH: Huh?
CHRISTINE: Crespi. He's a Detective, Second-grade. He can't pull rank on us like that.
MARY BETH: Forget it, will ya?
CHRISTINE: Well, I don't like his attitude.
MARY BETH: Just listen to me. The key to thing is figuring out how he knows where they live. All the victims were from this two-block area...
CHRISTINE: He thinks he's the only detective in the whole damn State!
MARY BETH: Will you give it a rest? ...Oh, look, Pull over here. She's on fire.

[Manhattan street]

(the patrol car pulls up. A woman runs up to them as they get out)
MARY BETH: Are you on fire?
WOMAN: No! No! He just ran right in front of me. It was his fault.
CABBIE: My fault? Lady, you didn't signal. No signal lights, no brake lights, no nothing. She just stopped!
WOMAN: Look what you did to my car!
CABBIE: Lady, you could eat off that car!
WOMAN: Don't be impertinent.
CABBIE: You know what you can do with 'Impertinent'!
MARY BETH: (to the cab driver) You know what you can do with your lips?! Lock 'em up. Ma'am, licence and registration and insurance.

[Detectives' Squad room]

(the duo comes into the empty room)
CHRISTINE: It's worth a shot.
MARY BETH: We've gotta go through Crespi.
CHRISTINE: Why?!
MARY BETH: Because he's got all the telephones. He's got all the people to make the calls. (picking up the file) Here. It's not even our case anymore. We're not supposed to be here. ...Do you want me to do it?
CHRISTINE: No.
(she takes the file from Mary Beth)
CHRISTINE: (into phone) Detective Crespi, please. ...Detective Cagney, Fourteenth. Probably forgotten my name. ...Yeah. Crespi? This is Cagney. ...Cagney! ...Look we have a theory we thought maybe you'd like to follow up. ...We figure the killer had access to the victims' addresses through a bank. ...Like a bank teller or loan officer or somebody. ...Nine out of the twelve women worked and they all probably had bank accounts and (realising Crespi is not really taking any interest in what sh's saying) ...so we thought, ...if you wouldn't mind, ...calling the next-of-kin or their employers, ...you could find out where they banked ...and if it's all the same bank it'd be... ...You're welcome.
(she slams the phone down)
MARY BETH: What did he say?
CHRISTINE: Thank you. That's what he said, 'Thank you'. He won't do it. I'm telling you, he won't do it! ...Tomorrow we gotta get back out there.
MARY BETH: Wait a second, I'm calling Marcus to see how he's feeling.

[Petrie's dining room]

(Petrie is feeding baby Lauren. The phone goes)
CLAUDIA: I'll get it. (into phone) Hello. ...Oh!. Hi. Mary Beth. ...He's in bed with the flu. ...Yeah. ...OK. ...Yeah. ...Thank you. ..Bye bye.
(Petrie gets a beer out of the fridge)
CLAUDIA: I hate lying.
PETRIE: Then don't! ...They're gonna find out sooner or later anyway. ...Unless you know a doctor we can bribe.
CLAUDIA: Marcus, what if they take your gold shield away?
PETRIE: Then I'll resign and you won't be married to a cop anymore. ...And you won't have to complain about the hours...
CLAUDIA: Don't turn this on me!
PETRIE: Well, get off my case, Claudia!
(Lauren begins to cry and Claudia goes to her)

[Florists]

CHRISTINE: Excuse me, do you work here?
FLORIST: Yes.
CHRISTINE: Cagney, Lacey, Fourteenth.
FLORIST: So how come you're not on strike?
CHRISTINE: The wrong union.
FLORIST: If you ask me, it's criminal, cops going out on strike.
MARY BETH: Excuse me, sir, but we're interested in any one who's been purchasing red long-stem roses frequently over the past three months.
FLORIST: The 'Don Juan' killer, right? I knew it.
CHRISTINE: You knew what?
FLORIST: Mr. Taliafaro. I never liked his face. He's your man.
MARY BETH: Do you happen to have an address on him?
FLORIST: Mannix Field Convalescent Home. He orders flowers all the time. He gives 'em to the nurses. He's a lad, even in a wheelchair.
MARY BETH: He's in a wheelchair?!
FLORIST: Lady, he maybe half-blind, but he's the type. Believe me. Little beady eyes. If you wanna stake out my store, it's OK with me.
CHRISTINE: Aha. Well, thank you.

[Detectives' Squad room]

MARY BETH: (into phone) Half an hour, forty minutes. ...Michael in bed? ...Did you give him his allergy medicine? ...You're the best. ...Yes, in a while. ...Good-bye. (she rings off) Christine, quitting time.
CHRISTINE: Crespi never called back.
MARY BETH: Forget Crespi. Go home. Go to sleep.
CHRISTINE: Nine fifteen. Happy days.
MARY BETH: Well, so much for this new man who's been working on it, huh?
ISBECKI: (coming part way down the stairs from the temporary dormitory) Anybody for a friendly game of poker?
CHRISTINE: (calling out) How friendly?
ISBECKI: Bring your pay check.
MARY BETH: Since when did you play poker?
(Isbecki goes back upstairs)
CHRISTINE: I used to play. It's like riding a bike, you don't forget it. Maybe I'll hang around a while.
MARY BETH: Yes. OK. Good night.
CHRISTINE: Good night, Mary Beth. (yelling out) Isbecki! ...Deal me in!

[Temporary dormitory]

ISBECKI: All right, the name of the game is "Seven Card Stud". Two down, four up, one down. Ante up. (they bet) ...Here we go. Right. (he deals)
CHRISTINE: OK, wait. Does three of a kind beat two pair? Right?
ISBECKI: Every day of the week.
CHRISTINE: Right.
LA GUARDIA: You're sure you know how to pay poker, Chris?
CHRISTINE: Yeah, of course, I used to play Barnard. Come on.
ISBECKI: Barnard! I'll bet you had some wild games with Barnard!
CHRISTINE: Do you just wanna deal, Isbecki!
ISBECKI: (giggles) Trade your calls! Carl boy? Fernandes? (La Guardia wants a card) A duck to the Keystone Cops. A lady for the lady.
CHRISTINE: Can you look at your down cards?
(Isbecki nods. Later Carl picks up the last slice of pizza)
FERNANDES: I raise.
LA GUARDIA: Oh, that's too risky for me.
(Chris picks up all her remaining counters and slowly and casually drops them all onto the pot in the middle of the table)
ISBECKI: Are you sure you wanna call?
CHRISTINE: What you got, Isbecki?
ISBECKI: All blue. Blue to the moon.
CHRISTINE: I win. Ace, King, Queen, Jack, Ten. A straight. (scooping the pot) Thank you very much!
ISBECKI: Whoa. A flush beats a straight.
CHRISTINE: Since when?
ISBECKI: Since the beginning of time. Right, La Guardia?
(La Guardia nods)
CHRISTINE: (pushing the pot back) Thank you, gentlemen. It has been a pleasure.
ISBECKI: Any time. ...Hey, be careful out there! There's no cops on the street. It's dangerous for a lady to be all alone out there.
(Isbecki laughs as he gathers the pot)
LA GUARDIA: Victor, we shouldn't take her money. She doesn't know what she's doing.
ISBECKI: Now look, she can learn. ...Are you in, Carl?

[Detectives' Squad room]

(the Deputy Inspector is addressing the assembled detectives, all in uniform. La Guardia is twirling his baton)
KNELMAN: In view of the reports of scattered looting, you've gotta keep visible. Take the bus to work. Eat lunch some place with lots of people around, preferably an outdoor hotdog or pizza stand. Stay on the streets. We've gotta keep this situation under control. The Mayor is considering sending in the National Guard which is just what the strikers want. All right, questions? ...La Guardia, you've gotta do something about that uniform.
LA GUARDIA: (as Isbecki laughs) I was measured for a new one yesterday, Inspector. They promised I'd have it today.
KNELMAN: All right, let's get out there and remember ...visible!
SAMUELS: All right, that's it, let's go!

[Samuels' office]

KNELMAN: Where's that black detective? What's his name?
SAMUELS: Petrie?
KNELMAN: Yeah, I didn't see him here yesterday either.
SAMUELS: Oh, he's got bad case of the flu.
KNELMAN: What colour flu, Bert?
SAMUELS: Oh no, Inspector, it's kosher. He's running a very high temperature.
KNELMAN: Did he send in medical certificate?
SAMUELS: Yeah, it's on my desk somewhere.

[Hotdog stand]

MARY BETH: Do you want some of this?
CHRISTINE: No, I hate those.
MARY BETH: More for me.
CHRISTINE: It's too sweet. (as Mary Beth ladles on the mustard) Whatever you do with the mustard, it'll repeat.
MARY BETH: Today?!
CHRISTINE: (taking the mustard) I'm trying it. He hasn't checked it out.
MARY BETH: What was there to check it out?
CHRISTINE: The theory. He said it wasn't his idea.
MARY BETH: Well, there's nothing we can do about it, so there's no point in giving ourselves indigestion.
CHRISTINE: We could make the calls ourself.
MARY BETH: Chris?
CHRISTINE: Why not?! We've got the employers' numbers and the case file's right there in the car.
MARY BETH: Well, that's gonna take a lot of time, Christine. Making all those calls, getting the right department, explaining what we want...
CHRISTINE: Well?
MARY BETH: So, they're not gonna have the information at their fingertips and they're gonna have to call us back.
CHRISTINE: So what?
MARY BETH: So, we don't have an office.
CHRISTINE: We do, right there.
MARY BETH: Perfect. ...All those phone calls from a booth on Ninth Avenue.
CHRISTINE: Knelman said he wanted visibility so we'll give it to him. (to the hotdog seller) You got twenty dimes?...Great!
MARY BETH: Whatever you say.

[Petries' house]

(Petrie opens the front door holding Lauren. Samuels is there)
SAMUELS: Lauren, can I have a talk with your daddy?

[Petries' lounge]

(Petrie brings Samuels a cup of coffee)
SAMUELS: You're putting an awful lot on the line with this, Petrie.
PETRIE: I realise that, Lieutenant.
SAMUELS: I didn't know you felt this strongly.
PETRIE: It kinda runs in the family. My father, he worked in the steel mill in Pennsylvania for twenty-two years. He organised the first walkout that mill had ever had. He stayed out for eighty-five days until they signed a union contract.
SAMUELS: Your father still alive? (Petrie shakes his head) Well, times change, Petrie. This is not a steel mill in Pennsylvania, and you've got union representation. This isn't even your union.
PETRIE: That's ...not ...the point.
SAMUELS: Well, then have this for the point. You've got a kid to feed now!
PETRIE: My father had four of us!
SAMUELS: That gold shield you've got. ...You worked pretty hard for that, Petrie, and it would be a shame to for you to lose that. ...Petrie, I can't cover for you much longer.
PETRIE: You don't have to.
SAMUELS: Now, what are you gonna do if they bust you down?!
PETRIE: I'll quit!! ...Go back to school. Law, computers, something. I don't know. I can always boost cars. I know how it's done now.
SAMUELS: Well, may be they'll settle this thing.
PETRIE: (as Samuels gets up to leave) May be. ...Lieutenant, ...I appreciate you coming up here.
SAMUELS: Well, you're a good cop. ...You're a damn good cop, Petrie. ...Also you're the only one on the Squad who understands Isbecki.

[Phone booth on Ninth Avenue]

(the phone goes. Chris rushes to it from the patrol car)
CHRISTINE: (into phone) Cagney, Fourteenth. ...Yes, that's right. ...Yeah, can you repeat that again? ...OK. ...All right. Thank you very much.
(she rings off)
CHRISTINE: Jenny Carver, number five, Madison Fidelity Savings and Loan Bank. 24th Street branch.
MARY BETH: Oh well, that's five different banks already.
CHRISTINE: Terrific.
MARY BETH: Hey, we gave it a try.
CHRISTINE: I wonder what Crespi is doing? Probably playing with his computer.
MARY BETH: Ha! Come on we'll patrol Tenth Avenue.

[Temporary dormitory]

(the poker game is in progress again. Chris receives a card)
ISBECKI: Six of hearts. Flushing.
LA GUARDIA: Flushing's a nice town. I spent a week there one time.
ISBECKI: What are you gonna do, Cagney?
CHRISTINE: Raise.
LA GUARDIA: (raising her) I think she's running us up a flagpole.
ISBECKI: And no one's saluting. Call ...and raise.
CHRISTINE: Call.
LA GUARDIA: Sayonara.
ISBECKI: Full boat. Sevens over Johnnys.
CHRISTINE: Does that beat a flush?
LA GUARDIA: Even to Barnard.
CHRISTINE: (throwing her cards in the air) I'm going downstairs for a while.
ISBECKI: (raking in the pot) I think this is criminal.
LA GUARDIA: It's like taking candy from a baby.
ISBECKI: La Guardia, did you see anybody twist her arm to play?
LA GUARDIA: Were stopping her whole week's pay check.
ISBECKI: Oh, it'll teach her a lesson. You see, she's trying to compete and prove herself in a man's world. Poker's a man's game. It takes a certain testeronal fortitude.
LA GUARDIA: What do testerones have to do with it?!
ISBECKI: It makes you compete. Let's deal.
LA GUARDIA: Your deal.

[Detectives' Squad room]

(Chris is shying paper balls into a hat. She then moves around, thinking, and then suddenly sits down and picks up some case papers, looks through them and then picks up the phone)

[Laceys' bedroom/Detectives' Squad room]

(Laceys' phone goes)
MARY BETH: Yes.
CHRISTINE: Mary Beth, come down here soon.
MARY BETH: What time is it? ...Christine it's one twenty-one in the morning. Where are you?
CHRISTINE: Precinct. Listen, do you wanna hear the link? The doctors.
MARY BETH: Chris, what are you talking about?
CHRISTINE: I'm talking about the fact that four of the women were carrying birth control pills. Have you read this psychic profile on the killer? 'Jack the Ripper syndrome. Sexually repressed. A high sense of morality'.
MARY BETH: Chris, what are you talking about?
CHRISTINE: I'm saying he resented women who were sexually liberated! Women who use birth control pills. Only three of these women were married! ...Get it? ..Do you see that, Mary Beth?
MARY BETH: Chris, listen to me. It's late, you're over-tired...
CHRISTINE: But it makes sense!! What if they all went to the same doctor?!
MARY BETH: Will you listen to me?! I want you to get in a cab and go home and get some sleep!
CHRISTINE: OK. OK, I will. ...Just tell me what you think.
MARY BETH: Terrific! We'll talk about it in the morning.
(she rings off)
HARVEY: What's going on?
MARY BETH: Nothing. It was Chris.
HARVEY: She OK?
MARY BETH: Oh, certainly. One o'clock in the morning and she's still working. ...She's terrific. ...Terrific. ...I'm sorry, honey.
HARVEY: How sorry are you?
MARY BETH: Oh, Harvey. ...Harvey!

[Detectives' Squad room]

(Mary Beth comes in, not in uniform. Chris is slumped asleep over her typewriter)
MARY BETH: Hey, Chris. Hey.
CHRISTINE: What time is it?
MARY BETH: Fourteen minutes off nine in the morning. I got here early to beat the picket line. You've slept here?
CHRISTINE: I left a coffee here.
MARY BETH: How come you didn't go home?
CHRISTINE: What time do the doctors' offices open?
MARY BETH: Doctors' offices?
CHRISTINE: Yeah. Come with me.

[Ladies' room]

MARY BETH: I think that you should go home and get some rest.
CHRISTINE: You know the nurses, they should be in by now. We can call them. They could look in the files for us.
(Chris starts to clean her teeth)
MARY BETH: Christine, what if this cretin's like a random killer.
CHRISTINE: Now that's great. Where does that leave us?
MARY BETH: I don't know.
CHRISTINE: Mary Beth, I could be way off base here, but I'd rather be off base than nowhere, OK?
MARY BETH: OK. So you really think it's birth control pills?
CHRISTINE: Well, it fits the psychic profile and it explains how he has access to their addresses. The thing is they'd all have to go to the same clinic and it's twelve women and one man.
MARY BETH: Oh, it's a long shot like the bank theory.
CHRISTINE: Yeah.
MARY BETH: Why do they all have to go to the same doctor?
CHRISTINE: The addresses!
MARY BETH: Yeah, but say it was different doctors and they all wrote prescriptions. And the prescriptions were filled out...
(Chris suddenly jumps up from her tooth cleaning and whoops)
CHRISTINE: The pharmacist.
MARY BETH: That's what I was gonna say.
CHRISTINE: I know that. Mary Beth, we're brilliant. (she kisses her) So why don't you change? Come on! Let's go!
MARY BETH: (shouting after Chris) Still, we have to go through the doctors.

[Phone booth on Ninth Avenue]

CHRISTINE: (into phone) Oh, come on Crespi, you've got three secretaries, and the Mayor's Office behind you. You can get answers we can't get. ...I know it's a shot in the dark. ...What, the banks? ...Oh, you finally followed up on it, huh? ...Yeah, well maybe you didn't. ...OK, What I need from you is the names and the telephone numbers of the gynaecologists. ...All twelve of them and we'll take it from there. ...And I promise you on my gold shield I will never bother you again. ...No, never, not one word, not one phone call, not for the rest of my entire natural life. ...(looking at the booth telephone number) Five-five-five, two-three-six-eight. ...OK.
MARY BETH: Do you think he'll do it?
CHRISTINE: I don't know. I made him a pretty good offer.
MARY BETH: He really doesn't like you, does he?
CHRISTINE: That's what I'm counting on.
MARY BETH: Well, there's not gonna be any crime on this street corner today.

[Detectives' Squad room]

(Knelman comes out of Samuels' office which he is using)
KNELMAN: Your partner in this morning Detective?
ISBECKI: No sir, he's still sick.
KNELMAN: Well, it sounds a pretty nasty case of the flu.
ISBECKI: Yeah, he's sick as a dog.
KNELMAN: How long you two been together as a team?
ISBECKI: About a year and a half.
KNELMAN: Do you get along?
ISBECKI: Sure.
KNELMAN: You know, you get used to working together with a partner. ...It's like a marriage.
ISBECKI: Yeah.
KNELMAN: You get somebody new, you've gotta make the adjustment all over again. (tapping Isbecki on the shoulder. It just doesn't feel right. You know what a guy likes to eat. How he handles a perp. Whether he's behind you when you go through a door. ...Do you know what I mean?
ISBECKI: Sure.
KNELMAN: So, if I were you, I'd help him get better real fast. ...Real fast. ...Like tomorrow.

[Bar]

(Isbecki operates the juke box)
ISBECKI: I've played your favourite song, Marcus. 'You're Driving a Number Nine Nail Right Through the Centre of My Heart'.
{they laugh)
NB This sounds like Billie Holiday but I can't trace the lyrics
PETRIE: Do you want a beer?
ISBECKI: Naw, drinking on duty's bad enough, but in uniform, they'll have me on traffic detail for the rest of my life.
PETRIE: Sorry, I forgot. Must be tough being back in uniform.
ISBECKI: Naw, it's not that bad. This thing fits me pretty good. ...And you should see the looks I get from the broads.
PETRIE: Women, Victor, women!
ISBECKI: You've been around Cagney and Lacey.
PETRIE: So, how's everything down at the station?
ISBECKI: Great! It's great.
PETRIE: Look, Victor, I hope you understand what I'm doing.
ISBECKI: Sure. Sure, we talked about it before. I understand.
PETRIE: I mean, I don't feel very good about walking out on you.
ISBECKI: Hey, you're getting worried about me, huh?
PETRIE: So, who have they got you working with?
ISBECKI: Cohen.
PETRIE: He's a nice guy.
ISBECKI: Yup. We went to lunch, down to that place we go. You know the greasy spoon on Mercer near West Broadway. The one with the waitress in the see-through uniform.
PETRIE: (laughing) Gladys.
ISBECKI: Yes, but I told her you were undercover. ...Marcus, ...er, ...I'm gonna say this right now. I want you to know it's from the heart and I don't want you to think that I'm trying to influence you. ...You're the best partner I've ever had. If they take away your shield, they're gonna have to take away mine. ...They're gonna hear from Victor Isbecki loud and clear.
(Petrie puts his arm around Isbecki's shoulders)

[Samuels' office]

CHRISTINE: (to Knelman. Samuels is listening away) We reached ten of the doctors and every single one of them had written a prescription for either birth control pills or devices within the last three months.
MARY BETH: The dates of the prescriptions correspond with a day or two of the murders. Seven of them were the same night.
SAMUELS: OK. ...But how do we know which drug store they got them all through then?
MARY BETH: Three of our doctors phoned the prescription to the same drug store. Forty-fourth and Park.
CHRISTINE: Which happens to be within walking distance of either their offices or their apartments. Every one of them.
KNELMAN: All circumstantial. Even if you link all twelve prescriptions to the same drug store.
CHRISTINE: We know that Inspector, so we have a plan. We'll have one of the doctors phone in a prescription. Then I'll go in, out of uniform of course, and I'll have it filled.
MARY BETH: Then we lay a trap and we wait for him.
KNELMAN: How do you know he'll strike tonight?
CHRISTINE: We don't. But seven out of twelve aren't bad odds. Then if it's not tonight we'll go back tomorrow night, and if it's not tomorrow night, we'll go back the next night.
SAMUELS: I think it's worth a shot.
KNELMAN: Did you run this by Crespi?
CHRISTINE: No sir. ...We're not exactly on speaking terms with Detective Crespi.
(Samuels and Knelman exchange smiles)

[Pharmacy on Forty-fourth and Park]

(the phone goes. The pharmacist's assistant answers it. Chris comes in wearing a distinctive white floppy hat and light beige coat)
CHRISTINE: Excuse me!
PHARMACIST: Hi.
CHRISTINE: Hi.
PHARMACIST: Can I help you?
CHRISTINE: Yeah. My doctor called you with a prescription this afternoon.
PHARMACIST: What's your name?
CHRISTINE: Cagney.
PHARMACIST: Right. Christine Cagney. ...Dr. Lewis. I'll need an address on this.
CHRISTINE: Yeah. Er, seven-four-three Broome Street. That's with an E.
PHARMACIST: That's way down town. Do you work around here?
CHRISTINE: Yeah, over on 48th Street. I just started yesterday.
PHARMACIST: That's why I haven't seen you before. I never forget a pretty face.
CHRISTINE: Well, thank you. How much do I owe you?
PHARMACIST: Fourteen forty-nine, (indicating the checkout desk) but you pay up the front. (he packs the prescription and gives it to her) Have a nice day.
CHRISTINE: Thank you.

[Detectives' Squad room]

(Samuels has a street plan around Chris's loft drawn on a blackboard)
SAMUELS: Not only will you be out of uniform, you'll be out of sight. If he sees anybody he may not make a move. OK? Paul, you'll be down the street in a doorway, here, like a wino on the nod. You're gonna be our eyes. Isbecki you're gonna be around the corner, up here, out of sight. Cagney and Lacey'll be in this car around this corner. ...All right? You'll all be in walkie-talkie contact. Cagney'll have a wire on her.
CHRISTINE: Why do I need a wire? If he makes a move we'll bring him down.
SAMUELS: Cagney, you've got backup so can the John Wayne number. What I want you to do is lead him down this street, here, right into the alley. Dark. Narrow. Probably be deserted. That's where he'll probably make his move. OK? Everybody got it straight?
MARY BETH: Yes sir.
SAMUELS: OK, let's get going.
(they break up. Petrie comes in)
ISBECKI: Marcus!
SAMUELS: How would you like to spend the evening in an alley on Broome Street? ...Unless you've got something better to do.
PETRIE: I don't have anything better to do.
SAMUELS: Good. Isbecki'll fill you in. We're rolling in five minutes.
ISBECKI: (to Petrie quietly) Hey, it's great to see you, partner.
CHRISTINE: Hey, Petrie, welcome back.
PETRIE: I'm not back.
MARY BETH: You're here.
PETRIE: Victor told me what was going down tonight. I'm here. Tonight, just tonight.
CHRISTINE: I appreciate it.

[Squad car]

MARY BETH: Are you all right?
CHRISTINE: Yeah.
MARY BETH: Gay as a peach, right?
CHRISTINE: It's no big deal.
MARY BETH: You know they say that patients who, like, pretend they're scared before surgery actually come out worse...
CHRISTINE: I'm scared! All right?! Are you happy now?
MARY BETH: They say it's easier if you talk about it.
CHRISTINE: It's easier for me if I don't.

[Broome Street]

(a car comes into the street)
LA GUARDIA: (into walkie-talkie) Lacey.

[Squad car]

MARY BETH: (into walkie-talkie) Reading you, Paul.
LA GUARDIA: (on walkie-talkie) Car just pulled up across the street. Outside of four-fifty-two.
MARY BETH: (into walkie-talkie) Is he getting out?
LA GUARDIA: (on walkie-talkie) He's just sitting there.
MARY BETH: (into walkie-talkie) Let's give him a minute. Isbecki? Ready to move?
ISBECKI: (on walkie-talkie) Yo.
MARY BETH: (into walkie-talkie) Petrie, you ready?
PETRIE: (on walkie-talkie) Right.
MARY BETH: You ready?
CHRISTINE: Yes.
LA GUARDIA: (on walkie-talkie) He's staying put.
(Chris gives Mary Beth the thumbs up and gets out of the car)
MARY BETH: (into walkie-talkie) Let's do it.
(Mary Beth gets out the car and checks her gun. Chris, wearing the same clothes as she wore to the pharmacists, comes round the corner into Broome Street. The pharmacist spots her and gets out of his car and walks across the road and walks towards the approaching Chris. He walks on past her then turns and follows her. They both pass La Guardia and turn into the alley. La Guardia, joined by Isbecki, follow them)

[Alley]

(Chris turns to face the pharmacist)
PHARMACIST: Good evening.
(in his black-gloved hands he is holding a garrotting wire)
CHRISTINE: (drawing her gun) Don't move! We're the police. You're surrounded. Get your hands up. ...Up!!!
(Petrie cuffs him. Cagney searches him and finds a red rose)
CHRISTINE: (yelling out) Who's got the evidence bag?!

[Temporary dormitory]

(they are playing poker. Chris scoops the pot)
CHRISTINE: When you didn't re-raise your trips, Isbecki, I knew you were bluffing.
LA GUARDIA: Victor, I think we've been had. We should have guessed when she suggested tripling the stakes.
CHRISTINE: Pail Newman and George C. Scott in "The Hustler" Great movie. Did you ever see it, Isbecki?
ISBECKI: I thought you learnt to play poker with Barnard.
CHRISTINE: I learnt to play bridge with Barnard. I learnt to play poker round my old man's kitchen table. ...Every Friday night. He was a cop, remember?
ISBECKI: You played?
CHRISTINE: Sure. When I was little, they just gave me a stash of chips. Then they let me sit in, and by sixteen, I was a regular.
ISBECKI: You know you can busted for hustling poker, Cagney.
CHRISTINE: It's a lousy counter.
(just then a tailor carrying a new uniform comes in. La Guardia jumps up)
MR. DZIDZIACOMO: I'm sorry to disturb you but they tell me I can find you here.
LA GUARDIA: Mr. Dzidziacomo, buona sera.
MR. DZIDZIACOMO: Buona sera, signore.
(they exchange pleasantries in Italian)
MR. DZIDZIACOMO: (holding up the uniform) You like it?
LA GUARDIA: It's very nice. Polyester?
MR. DZIDZIACOMO: Polyester. Wash and wear. Hang up. Dry in the kitchen.
LA GUARDIA: (holding up the uniform) Well, what do you think?
CHRISTINE: Good!
ISBECKI: Hey, what, we playing poker here or is this some kind of fashion show?
(the phone goes)
CHRISTINE: (into phone) Fourteenth. Detectives in uniform. ...Oh, yeah. ...Oh, that's wonderful. Thank you.
(she rings off)
CHRISTINE: Hey, guys! The Uniforms just approved their new contracts. They go back out on the next shift. All right!
(they clap and whoop)
LA GUARDIA: I just got mine. Four hundred and fifty bucks. Molto grazie, Mr. Dzidziacomo. I'm sure I'll find some use for it.
MR. DZIDZIACOMO: Grazie. Arivaderchi.
LA GUARDIA: Arivaderchi. (Mr. Dzidziacomo leaves. La Guardia holds up the uniform again) Anybody know a forty-two short?
ISBECKI: Come on, we playing? It's Cagney's deal.
CHRISTINE: Do you wanna quit while you're ahead, Isbecki?
ISBECKI: Shut up and deal, will ya.
CHRISTINE: OK. The name of the game is "Jacks or Blacks". ...Ante, gentlemen.

<Back to the episode listing

Cagney & Lacey and related marks are trademarks of Metro Goldwyn Meyer. Copyright 1981, Present. The Cagney & Lacey web pages on this site are for educational and entertainment purposes only. All other copyrights property of their respective holders.