The Gang's All Here
Original Airdate: March 28, 1983

[Detectives' Squad room]

(Isbecki, La Guardia and other detectives are examining a batch of fur coats)
ISBECKI: Look at this, my friends, one hundred and fifteen thousand, ...retail. Gleasons got 'em marked down to thirty-five. That's what tipped me off.
LA GUARDIA: Thirty-five thousand dollars, eh? It's a steal.
ISBECKI: Exactly. This is part of that New Jersey hi-jacking last Winter. A super-fence gets his hands on it. It lands up in a leading department store.
LA GUARDIA: Good work, Isbecki, you got those furs out of there just in time.
ISBECKI: Why?
LA GUARDIA: My daughter has a charge account at Gleasons.
SAMUELS: (coming out of his office with the duo) A kid disappears in the middle of the day in a crowded neighbourhood like that and nobody sees anything.
MARY BETH: We got nothing, sir.
SAMUELS: What about the relations?
CHRISTINE: He has grandparents in Union City. How does a five-year old kid get to Union City by himself?
MARY BETH: Apparently they've been in Arizona for the past week.
SAMUELS: Well, where is he? Three days is a long time.
CHRISTINE: No ransom notes, no witnesses, nothing in the hospitals.
MARY BETH: No nothing.
SAMUELS: Well, go over it again. There's gotta be something.
(Petrie, holding a ring in a box, joins Isbecki and La Guardia)
LA GUARDIA: So who is this super-fence anyway?
PETRIE: (to Isbecki) If you don't mind me butting in, I need an opinion.
ISBECKI: Yeah.
PETRIE: What do you think?
ISBECKI: It's a very pretty piece. But it doesn't match your tie.
PETRIE: It's for Claudia. An engagement ring.
LA GUARDIA: Marcus, what a shocking admission. An engagement ring for the mother of your child.
PETRIE: I couldn't afford one when we were first married, but now, with promotion, it feels like I'm gonna have a few extra bucks.
ISBECKI: Petrie, you're only moving up one grade. It's a very expensive ring.
PETRIE: Twenty percent down, two years to pay. I had it engraved. Do you think she'll like it?
LA GUARDIA: Did you know that the Romans dedicated the emerald to the goddess Venus? They felt that the constancy of love would be revealed...
ISBECKI: Petrie, Petrie,...
LA GUARDIA: ...and the diamond...
ISBECKI: ...she'll like it. ...Trust me.
LA GUARDIA: You're going so hard after this super-fence wouldn't have got anything to do with Petrie's promotion, would it?
ISBECKI: Lot's of people deserve promotion.
(the duo is back at their desks)
CHRISTINE: We just go back and ask some more questions.
MARY BETH: So what do we say to Mrs. Leighton? Hi, Mrs. Leighton, we don't know what we're doing and we don't know where to start.
PETRIE: (coming over and handing them the ring) Chris, Mary Beth. You're women.
MARY BETH: That man must be a detective.
PETRIE: The ring. What do you honestly think? Will Claudia really like it?
(the phone goes. Mary Beth picks it up)
CHRISTINE: You asked me that this morning, Petrie.
MARY BETH: (into phone) Detective Lacey, Fourteenth Squad.
PETRIE: Mary Beth?
MARY BETH: (into phone) Yes, Mrs. Leighton. ...What was that? ...You keep him there and we'll be right over. ...Yes ma'am.
CHRISTINE: Did they find him?
MARY BETH: She found a witness on her own. One of Mikey's friends saw him get into a car or something.
CHRISTINE: (giving Petrie the ring back) Solid police work pays off again.
PETRIE: Mary Beth?
MARY BETH: (to Petrie as she follows Chris out) She'll love it.

[Judy Leighton's apartment]

(Chris, Judy Leighton, Mikey's mother, and Joe's mother are looking on)
MARY BETH: Now, Joe, you said it was a green car.
JOE: Maybe it was blue too.
MARY BETH: Blue too? Joe, do you know what kind of a car it was?
JOE: It was a big car. ...All cars are big.
MARY BETH: Was it new or was it , like, beat up?
JOHN: It was big.

[Detectives' Squad room]

(the duo returns)
MARY BETH: Hi.
LA GUARDIA: Anything?
MARY BETH: No, no luck.
CHRISTINE: Hey, Petrie, you and Claudia going out to celebrate tonight?
PETRIE: No, we wanted to but she has a night school. I'll just have to give her the ring afterwards.
MARY BETH: Oh, that's a shame.
CHRISTINE: That's no good. Well, we'll just have to have a celebration of our own.
PETRIE: No.
CHRISTINE: Huh, Mary Beth?
MARY BETH: Yes.
CHRISTINE: Just possibly one drink. What with Petrie's promotion and all.
PETRIE: I don't really...
MARY BETH: We should, Petrie.
CHRISTINE: Absolutely.
LA GUARDIA: Absolutely!
CHRISTINE: That's it. We need a little spirit here in the old Fourteenth! I'm hereby announcing a new tradition. From now on anyone who receives a commendation or a promotion buys the rest of us a round.
(general cheering and applause)
CHRISTINE: That's it, then! Tonight we'll do it.
MARY BETH: Tonight?!
CHRISTINE: Tonight.
(Petrie checks his wallet)
CHRISTINE: Are you in, La Guardia?
LA GUARDIA: I wouldn't miss it.
MARY BETH: Chris, I... I...
CHRISTINE: Where's Isbecki? Is he gonna play?
LA GUARDIA: I doubt it. He's going after that super-fence like there's no tomorrow.
CHRISTINE: Oh, how come?
LA GUARDIA: (pointing to Petrie) A little jealousy, I expect.
MARY BETH: Christine. Chris!
CHRISTINE: Lieutenant. Lieutenant! A minute. Come here! Petrie is throwing a party for himself tonight. Would you like to come?
SAMUELS: Party? Oh, you don't want me. I'll be getting in the way.
CHRISTINE: No!
LA GUARDIA: Come on, Bert.
SAMUELS: All right. OK. And I know just the place too. Over in the Seventh Precinct. It used to be a regular hangout when I was still in uniform.
CHRISTINE: That's great! OK, we're on.
MARY BETH: Christine!
CHRISTINE: What?
MARY BETH: (quietly) I cannot go tonight. Harve's making mustard beef.
CHRISTINE: Oh, Mary Beth, come on! We're working our tails off on this Leighton case. I wanna play!
MARY BETH: Harve gets very tetchy...
CHRISTINE: So would Marcus Petrie if you didn't come.
MARY BETH: One beer.
CHRISTINE: Got it!

[Torchy's]

(Samuels is at the head of a table with Chris and Mary Beth on one side and La Guardia and Petrie on the other. Everybody is very jolly. They have obviously been there some time)
SAMUELS: I never thought I'd miss the beat as much as I do.
LA GUARDIA: I'll bet the music wasn't as loud then.
SAMUELS: (proposing a toast) Cops belong to the street, not behind a desk.
CHRISTINE: Yeah, yeah! I'll drink to that!
LA GUARDIA: (tapping on the table to the beat of the music) Do you hear that.
CHRISTINE: It's kinda hard to miss!
LA GUARDIA: (unintelligible)
CHRISTINE: What?!
LA GUARDIA: Black music is loud anyway. It reduces the body's reaction time. Causes all your muscles to go weak. Then it leads to switching in the cerebral hemispheres.
CHRISTINE: I'll risk it!
(Mary Beth and Petrie join in the laughing)
LA GUARDIA: No, I can't allow that. My health is too important to me. I'm gonna see if I can't get some real music on that machine.
CHRISTINE: Oh, boy!
LA GUARDIA: Yeah.
CHRISTINE: (to Mary Beth) Fifty-odd years and counting!
(Mary Beth and Petrie laugh with Chris again)
MARY BETH: (looking at her watch) Excuse me, look at that. It's almost eleven o'clock.
CHRISTINE: Are you relaxing or are you worrying?
MARY BETH: Both.
CHRISTINE: You can't do both.
MARY BETH: I was relaxing before and now I'm worrying. (to a waitress) You got a phone?
WAITRESS: It's in the Ladies' room.
PETRIE: (gets the ring out) Claudia had no idea about this ring. This was going to be a big surprise.
LA GUARDIA: (shouting across from the juke box) Christine, nothing more than three months old on it.
CHRISTINE: Oh, it makes me wanna dance with you, La Guardia.
(a gangster, Malcolm Kingsley, comes in and shouts. A woman screams)
KINGSLEY: Nobody move!
(a shotgun is pointed across the Fourteenth's table by a second gangster)
KINGSLEY: (bringing La Guardia back to the table with a gun pointed at his head) We're coming round each table now. Nobody tries any heroics or I'll blast this old twit.

[Ladies' room]

MARY BETH: (into phone) Harvey, it's not like I do this every day. ...I'm sorry, it got later than I thought.

[Torchy's]

GANGSTER #2: (with the shotgun) In the bag.
(they start putting their valuables in the bag)
KINGSLEY: (holding up La Guradia's gun) Hey, the old dude's packed. Everybody freeze. (finding La Guardia's badge) He's a cop! (Chris says something to Samuels) This is not a bloody seminar, my girl, keep it shut! Well, tell me old man, have you got any cop friends in here, have you? ...If you have,...
(Chris and Petrie look at one another realising the gangster is English with a cockney accent)
KINGSLEY: ...if no one confesses ...I'll blow your head off!
SAMUELS: (getting up) Yeah, we're police officers.
KINGSLEY: Stay down! All right, everybody on the floor! Move it! Come on!
(he finds Samuels badge)
KINGSLEY: (pushing Samuels) Get down!
CHRISTINE: Damn it!
KINGSLEY: (grabbing Chris by the jaw) Lady cop. How did a cop... It's not often I get an opportunity like this, is it?
CHRISTINE: Don't push it.
KINGSLEY: Oh. 'Don't push it' ...Don't push it or what? You wanna draw down on me, luv, is that it? ...Well, it's you're job, isn't it? ...Maybe I won't shoot! ..If you've got a gun in your purse, it's only a few inches away. I'll give you five, luv. Two, one. Down on the floor!
GANGSTER #2: Oh, oh. Ah! Look at the pretty ring. Get a load of this. We're cleaning up tonight.

[Ladies' room]

MARY BETH: (into phone) Harve, if we hadn't spent this whole time standing around arguing, I'd have been home by now. I am hanging up right now. ..Oh. Oh, Harvey, you don't mean that. ...And you better land up saving some of that meal!

[Torchy's]

(Mary Beth comes out of the Ladies' room)
GANGSTER #2: Ah, ah. Not tonight, sugar.
(he takes her bag)
GANGSTER #2: Get down. ...Get down! ,,,Now! Good girl.
KINGSLEY: Well, thank you very much, it's been a pleasure doing business with you.

[Manhattan street]

(the two gangsters come out of Torchy's and jump into a car with a third member of the gang in the driving seat. It screams off round the first turning on the right to the sound of screeching tyres and blaring horns. By the time Samuels and the others rush out, the car is out of sight)
SAMUELS: Somebody call the police.

[Torchy's]

STOCKWOOD: You should have let us known you were coming over this way, Lieutenant. We could have provided you with a police escort for your security.
SAMUELS: One of them, the leader, he had er, an accent, A British accent.
CHRISTINE: It was cockney.
STOCKWOOD: You certainly do have a unique approach to crime fighting, I'll say that for you. Total immersion.
CHRISTINE: Why don't you just write down 'Cockney'?
STOCKWOOD: You see over at our place we still do things the old fashioned way. I mean, we go out and arrest the robbers.
CHRISTINE: Really? Then what do you do? Torture them to death with your sense of humour.
SAMUELS: All right, Cagney. Is there anything else you need, Detective Stockwood?
STOCKWOOD: Well, let's see, they got your money, your ID, your shields, your handcuffs and your weapons. You guys still got your underwear?
SAMUELS: All right, you got our story, now go on out and arrest somebody.
STOCKWOOD: Oh I will. Which reminds me, my Lieutenant wanted me to pass along a message. This case belongs to the Seventh Precinct. Don't you guys do anything without consulting us.
SAMUELS: Yeah. Sure.
(Stockwood goes)
CHRISTINE: Are you just gonna leave it there?
SAMUELS: You mustn't a let a schmendrick like this Stockwood get to ya.
CHRISTINE: Stockwood! Forget him. I want that cockney with his big gun. I want him in a room, alone, for five minutes. That's all I'm asking you. Are we leaving it to this comedian or what?
SAMUELS: No. No we're not!
CHRISTINE: (to the bartender) Can I have a scotch, please?
MARY BETH: I'm sorry you lost the ring, Marcus.
PETRIE: I didn't have it insured. ...Very stupid. I'll be paying years for a ring that I don't have.

[Laceys' lounge]

(Harvey is snoozing on the settee. There is knock at the door. He looks through the spy hole)
HARVEY: Yeah, yeah.
(he opens the door)
HARVEY: Mary Beth, it's two o'clock.
MARY BETH: Are they asleep. I have to take off my shoes.
HARVEY: You said you were coming right home. I am worried out of my mind! ...Where the hell have you been?
MARY BETH: If you promise you won't get upset, I was robbed.
HARVEY: What?
MARY BETH: We were all robbed, ...with shotguns in the bar.
HARVEY: Are you OK?
MARY BETH: Yes. Sure, and thank God they didn't hurt anybody.
HARVEY: Do you want to tell me about it?
MARY BETH: Well, I really didn't see much. It started going down when I was on the phone with you and I came out of the Ladies' room...
HARVEY: You came back into the middle of it? You could have been killed.
MARY BETH: I'm OK.
HARVEY: And we were arguing ...'cos I felt neglected. I am such a jerk.
MARY BETH: Oh, honey, it's not a big deal.
HARVEY: It is a big deal! I'm on the phone whining that you don't ever come home. What if you'd been shot? What if those were the last words I'd ever said to you?
MARY BETH: Harve, come here. Words don't count, OK? You may have noticed I'm an officer of the law. Things like this are gonna happen.
HARVEY: But this is different, you know it was.
MARY BETH: Yeah, well tonight we were the victims. We could have been slaughtered.
HARVEY: Mary Beth. I promise you I am never, ever gonna talk to you that way again.
MARY BETH: Oh, come on Harvey, people fight.
HARVEY: No, not us, not anymore!
MARY BETH: Well, that's the dumbest thing I ever heard in my life.
HARVEY: Just listen to me. I am telling you 'Not anymore!'.
MARY BETH: You wanna fight about this here!
HARVEY: (kissing her) I love you, baby.
MARY BEYH: I love you too.

[Detectives' Squad room]

MARY BETH: Hey.
CHRISTINE: Hey, where ya been?
MARY BETH: Nowhere. Knocking on doors. Trying to find any witnesses of that car that picked Mikey up.
CHRISTINE: Any luck?
MARY BETH: A couple of people wouldn't even talk to me. They said my temporary ID did not look real.
CHRISTINE: I've been doing some maths here. It's gonna cost us two hundred and twenty-three dollars each to replace everything that was stolen.
MARY BETH: How much.
CHRISTINE: Two hundred and twenty-three bucks.
MARY BETH: Oh, Lord.
CHRISTINE: That includes eighteen cents for a new shield pin. They give you the shield, you understand. It's the only thing they do give you. And then they stick on another eighteen lousy cents for a pin!
MARY BETH: Plus they stole my new purse. Thirty-eight dollars in a sale at Macy's. Seventeen dollars... Where is everybody?
CHRISTINE: Petrie and La Guardia went and had their pictures taken for their new permanent ID's. That's seven dollars and fifty cents.
MARY BETH: For lousy pictures! You get four for a buck on the subway.
CHRISTINE: Samuels is in his office with Marquette.

[Samuels' office]

SAMUELS: Look I know you're gonna have to bring charges against us for losing our guns and shields.
MARQUETTE: I don't have any choice. It's regulations, Bert. Sorry.
SAMUELS: Thanks for the concern.
MARQUETTE: It's bad enough that every cop in this town is laughing at this precinct but have you read the papers? We're the laughing stock of the entire city.
SAMUELS: Well, would you prefer that we blew away a dozen or so innocent people?
MARQUETTE: I'm not interested in a philosophical discussion. The fact is ...you let those goons walk all over you and when this town laughs at my officers it laughs at me and I'm not gonna stand for that. Now you see to it that your Squad redeems itself, Bert. And quickly or you'll find yourself back in uniform so fast it'll make your head spin.

[Detectives' Squad room]

(Isbecki comes in carrying bundles of computer print out)
ISBECKI: Hey, it's terrible. I'm really sorry I wasn't there with you guys.
CHRISTINE: So are we.
ISBECKI: I know, together, we could have taken 'em. But I was out on a job. This kind of thing reflects on the whole Squad so, you know, I wanna help with whatever I can do.
MARY BETH: Thank you.
ISBECKI: Listen, as soon as I've finished nailing super-fence...
MARY BETH: Victor. ...Go away from us now. OK?
ISBECKI: Yeah, sure.
(Marquette leaves and Samuels comes out)
SAMUELS: Listen, I'm gonna bottom line it. We can expect a speed trial for the twenty-first.
CHRISTINE: Right. Kangaroo court.
SAMUELS: Probable penalties. Five days loss of pay for every gun. Another five days for the shield. I think that totals about twelve hundred dollars, up to sixteen hundred dollars, depending on the grade. And that is over and above the cost replacements.
MARY BETH: There goes my new freezer.
PETRIE: There goes my life.
SAMUELS: Now I know that you've got other cases to work on. There used to a thing around here called free time. You can forget it. I want every spare moment dedicated to catching the scum that robbed us. Anybody got any complaints about that?!
CHRISTINE: Not from me.
SAMUELS: Petrie?
PETRIE: I just wanna get my hands on them.
SAMUELS: La Guardia?
LA GUARDIA: (deep in thought) Yeah.
SAMUELS: Lacey?
MARY BETH: Yes sir.
ISBECKI: (passing through) You count on me too, Lieutenant.
(Samuels returns to his office)
CHRISTINE: Drop everything else. Let's clear this thing up.
MARY BETH: Well, we can't do that, Chris. We got this Leighton case. We got that co-op burglary thing.
CHRISTINE: Have you forgotten what that man did to us?
MARY BETH: No, but let's not get carried away here. This is not a John Wayne movie.
CHRISTINE: Mary Beth, he humiliated me.
MARY BETH: What is this? Cops or vigilantes?
CHRISTINE: Personal.
(La Guardia has been listening and thinking. He goes into Samuels' office and closes the door)

[Samuels' office]

LA GUARDIA: Bert.
SAMUELS: You know I'm looking forward to getting out and pounding the pavement again.
LA GUARDIA: Bert, I want to resign.
SAMUELS: I know how you feel, Paul.
LA GUARDIA: No, you don't. He took me easy. Maybe he's right. Maybe I am too old to be a cop.
SAMUELS: He took us all easy, but we let him. We had to, otherwise it would have endangered innocent lives.
LA GUARDIA: He pushed me around that bar like an old mop! I'm quitting!
SAMUELS: Wait, wait, wait 'til you cool down.
LA GUARDIA: My mind's made up, Bert. There's no room in the force for a worn out old man.
SAMUELS: Hey, come on, will ya stop talking like that! You're not that much older than I am!
LA GUARDIA: You can still cut it!
SAMUELS: Paul, we know each other too well for me to lie to you. The truth is, you're a good cop and I need you here.
LA GUARDIA: What happens the next time some punk draws down on me? And I let him. And somebody gets killed.
SAMUELS: No. I know you too well for that.
LA GUARDIA: I want to resign.
SAMUELS: Can't hear ya.
LA GUARDIA: Damn it, Bert, I tell you I'm quitting!
SAMUELS: And I tell you I'm not listening! Now, you get outta here, La Guardia, we've both got work to do!

[Judy Leighton's apartment]

JUDY LEIGHTON: After Ted died I tried to spend more time with Mikey, but I work, I need the overtime.
MARY BETH: Mrs. Leighton, It's four days he's been gone now, and there's no ransom notice and nothing in any of the hospitals. (Mrs. Leighton begins to cry) No ma'am, that's good. That's a reason for hope.
JUDY LEIGHTON: Then where is he!
CHRISTINE: Would he have any reason to have run away?
JUDY LEIGHTON: You must have been talking to Ted's parents.
MARY BETH: No ma'am, our information is they're in Arizona.
JUDY LEIGHTON: They were shopping for a house to retire to. But they're back.
CHRISTINE: You don't get along?
JUDY LEIGHTON: They never forgave me for starting to date again. ...I loved him. Oh God, I loved him! But I felt so alone.
MARY BETH: Could Mikey have run away to them?
JUDY LEIGHTON: He didn't run away. He loves me! (starting to cry again) He loves me.

[Squad car]

(Mary Beth is looking through a pile of files)
CHRISTINE: Anything?
MARY BETH: Nothing. A lot of guys who like to knock off bars and restaurants, but none that matches our three. I can't concentrate.
CHRISTINE: Why not?
MARY BETH: There's been a little kid missing four days. That's what we should be on.
CHRISTINE: We're on our way to Union City, for God's sake, to see his grandparents.
MARY BETH: This is not our case. Whatever they did to us...
CHRISTINE: It is.
MARY BETH: You're wrong, Christine, we're after them for revenge. Not because they broke the law, but because they humiliated us. And I don't like it.
CHRISTINE: Look, we are cops. It is our job to catch criminals. That is all we are doing here.
MARY BETH: That's not all and you know it.
CHRISTINE: All I know is that I cannot drive and look through files at the same time.
(Mary Beth resumes looking through the files)
MARY BETH: Hey. Hey. Hey!
CHRISTINE: What, I missed the exit?
MARY BETH: Kingsley. Malcolm Kingsley. aka Mel Kingston. Also known as Danny Zieber. Two arrests in this country for bar hold ups, armed robbery.
CHRISTINE: In this country?
MARY BETH: Yes, in his native land he likes to hit the pubs.
CHRISTINE: He's English. He's English!
MARY BETH: London, born and bred. Take a look.
(in the excitement the car deviates towards the opposite lane. Horns blare before Chris regains control)

[Grandparents Leighton's house]

CHRISTINE: (into phone) The suspect fits the MO and physical description, right down to the accent. ...Great. ...If you find anything, call us. ...OK, we'll be right back as soon as soon as we're through here. Thanks, La Guardia. (to grandfather Leighton) Thank you, sir.
(while Chris in on the phone grandfather Leighton notices he has left a small document laying by the phone. He grabs it and sticks it in his back pocket)
JOHN LEIGHTON: (indicating the next room) We're right in here.
BLANCHE LEIGHTON: An awful thing, Mikey's disappearing. Terrible. Not unexpected.
(grandmother Leighton is putting the lids on two jars that are on the laid-up table while she talks)
MARY BETH: How do you mean, Mrs. Leighton?
BLANCHE LEIGHTON: She left him alone at all hours. Going out with strange men.
CHRISTINE: Well, your daughter-in-law's been alone for over a year.
BLANCHE LEIGHTON: What Ted saw in her in the first place I'll never understand.
JOHN LEIGHTON: Come on, ma. She seemed nice.
BLANCHE LEIGHTON: Ted was a computer engineer. She's a waste.
(grandmother Leighton picks up the two jars and a half-drunk glass and takes them away)
MARY BETH: Mr. Leighton, there's a possibility that Mikey was not kidnapped. He may have run away.
JOHN LEIGHTON: Well, he never did before.
BLANCHE LEIGHTON: And that's no fit place for Mikey! She was no fit mother! (she starts to cough) Who would try to raise ...a child in a place like that.
JOHN LEIGHTON: Blanche, you mustn't upset yourself. I'm sorry, my wife isn't well. We're planning a move to Arizona.
BLANCHE LEIGHTON: We can't go now. We can't go until we find our little boy.
MARY BETH: Sir, could Mikey have found his way here by himself?
(grandfather Leighton shakes his head)
BLANCHE LEIGHTON: When our Ted was alive he used to bring him. John saved all his stories for Mikey.
JOHN LEIGHTON: He only brought him here once in the last year. Look, Officer, we're not bad people. We tried to welcome Judy here. Opened our hearts to her. For Ted's sake ...and for the boy's.
BLANCHE LEIGHTON: John offered to help her financially, ...and she refused. She wanted to raise him in her own way, she said.
JOHN LEIGHTON: I'm sorry. Is there anything else.
CHRISTINE: Don't leave town without letting us know, will you?
BLANCHE LEIGHTON: We're not going! We're not going, John.
JOHN LEIGHTON: No. No, I promise you we won't go anywhere without talking to you first.
MARY BETH: Thank you.
JOHN LEIGHTON: (to grandmother Leighton) I'll be right back.
(grandfather Leighton follows them to the door)
JOHN LEIGHTON: Officers, my wife has emphysema. You can see how hard it is for her to breathe. Our doctors promise us no hope unless we can find a place with better air. I love my grandson but I can't sit here and watch my wife die.
MARY BETH: We're very sorry, Mr. Leighton.
JOHN LEIGHTON: Please, will you tell me the truth? Do you think you'll find him?
MARY BETH: We're doing the best we can, sir.
CHRISTINE: We'll let you know if anything comes up.
JOHN LEIGHTON: Thank you.

[Squad car]

MARY BETH: Did he run away or what?
CHRISTINE: I don't know. We've got them investigating excavations, deserted buildings along the river. Anything within walking distance.
MARY BETH: He could have gone down the subway, Christine. Then he could be anywhere. ...Do you wanna a carrot stick?
CHRISTINE: No thank you. ...Do you know what's bothering me?
MARY BETH: What?
CHRISTINE: Those grandparents. Hey, Mary Beth, they were kinda hating it. The grandfather got so nervous when I saw his plane ticket.
MARY BETH: Well, they're under a lot of strain. She's sick, their grandchild is missing. These are supposed to be their golden years.
CHRISTINE: Yeah.
MARY BETH: Oh, would you look at that?! I packed the wrong sandwich. Peanut butter and jelly.
CHRISTINE: They had a blue car. I saw it on their driveway.
MARY BETH: I'm gonna go berserk if I don't catch up with some food tonight.
CHRISTINE: Oh boy, I hated living when I was a kid. I love it now.
MARY BETH: (looking back) Chris, turn around! Turn around.
CHRISTINE: What do you mean, 'Turn around'?
MARY BETH: We're going back. Try and find somewhere to turn around the car. (into radio) This is detective car twelve. Would Central verify with Atlantic Airlines...
CHRISTINE: International Airlines.
MARY BETH: (into radio) Atlantic ...International Airlines. I want reservations for Mr. and Mrs. John Leighton. L, E, I, G, H, T, O, N. I wanna know the date of departure and number in the party.
POLICE RADIO: Ten-four.
(Chris has turned the car around)
MARY BETH: Cagney, I will bet you er, a fancy lunch and wine, the reservation is for three.
CHRISTINE: Why?
MARY BETH: Mrs. Leighton had peanut butter. Peanut butter and jelly.
CHRISTINE: It's easy to get peanut butter and jelly!
MARY BETH: When we were in the breakfast room they were putting it away.
CHRISTINE: So?
MARY BETH: P B and J and a glass of milk. Does that sound like a snack for an elderly lady?
CHRISTINE: Well, it could. I like it!
MARY BETH: No, no, no. Trust me here. Mother of two talking. The boy is in that house. We're in the restaurant.
CHRISTINE: It ain't a bet. We never shook on it.
MARY BETH: Welcher!
(they draw up outside the Leighton's house. There is no car on the driveway)
POLICE RADIO: ...Reservations are for two adults and one child.
MARY BETH: (into radio) Thank you.
(Mary Beth looks hard at Chris)
CHRISTINE: Technically we should notify the FBI.
MARY BETH: Technically.

[Outside the Leighton's house]

(they go up to the front door and ring the bell. Grandmother Leighton opens the door}
BLANCHE LEIGHTON: Yes.
CHRISTINE: Mrs. Leighton, we've come for Mikey. We know he's here.
MARY BETH: Let's make this easy on everybody, OK?
(they go in)

[Samuels' office]

(the duo returns)
SAMUELS: Come in.
CHRISTINE: Lieutenant, you want to see us?
SAMUELS: Yeah, I think it's terrific about finding the kid.
MARY BETH: Thank you, sir.
CHRISTINE: You have a lead on the fur-fence robbery then. That's good for Isbecki.
SAMUELS: Oh yeah. Paul told me about that and er, I've got some other news for ya. Lacey's gun has turned up.
MARY BETH: Oh, great. that means I'm not gonna have to buy another one. ...Why aren't we all happy about that?
SAMUELS: Well, your gun was used in another robbery. They killed a bartender with it. Left it behind.

[Laceys' lounge]

(Mary Beth is sitting in the dark. Harvey comes in from the kitchen and turns the light on)
HARVEY: What you watching, babes?
MARY BETH: Nothing much.
HARVEY: Michael's fine in bed. (sitting in font of the TV) We can talk now.
MARY BETH: Hey, Harve, would ya... I'm watching that.
HARVEY: No you're not. Come on, babe, talk to me ...about the gun. Now, just take a deep breath and let it all come out.
MARY BETH: It doesn't come out, Harve. Let's not make it a big deal. I simply want to watch TV here in peace, OK?
HARVEY: No. (turning off the TV) I am not gonna let you hide out like this. I want you to talk to me and tell me what you are feeling.
MARY BETH: You're getting me mad here, Harve.
HARVEY: Good. You should be.
MARY BETH: Don't you go telling me what...
HARVEY: I am not telling, I am voting! I gotta vote here too and I vote we talk!
MARY BETH: Hey, aren't you the one who said we're not gonna fight anymore, so what are you doing here!
HARVEY: This isn't a fight, damn it, and even if it is, this is worth fighting about!
MARY BETH: Back off, OK?
HARVEY: No, you listen to me, I'm just being selfish here, 'cos if you don't get this out the right way, it's gonna come out sideways, and that is never a lot of fun for me.
MARY BETH: And I am telling you I got nothing to talk about. I am not responsible for what they did with my gun after they took it from me.
HARVEY: I know.
MARY BETH: (getting up) They stole it from me! I'm a victim here! It's not my fault!
HARVEY: It isn't!
MARY BETH: Thirteen years, I've been talking to victims. 'Don't take matters in your own hands' I tell them. 'Leave that up to the police. That's what the police are for'. So a couple of hold up guys kill some body with my gun and... Look at me, Harve. I want them! ...I want them. Damn.
HARVEY: You're a cop. You want them off the streets.
MARY BETH: No. Wrong. Not true. I want them. I want revenge.
HARVEY: So would I.
MARY BETH: Well, Harvey!!! Damn. I'm taking it personal...
HARVEY: Anybody... Anybody! What do you do! Do you think it's hurting your feelings when you pick up your shield...
MARY BETH: Yes! Yes. We have to, otherwise we're in a lot of trouble here!
HARVEY: Oh, that's good. You rant and rave tonight. You get it out tonight and tomorrow you go in and do your job the way you want it to be done, without vengeance.
MARY BETH: Damn them. Damn them. ...Damn them. ...Damn them. ...Damn them.
(Mary Beth turns the TV back on. Harve goes back to the kitchen turning off the lounge light)
MARY BETH: Damn them.

[Police Headquarters computer department]

COMPUTER OPERATOR: You should have come to us first. I've got any information you want right here at my fingertips.
MARY BETH: Known associates of Malcolm Kingsley.
COMPUTER OPERATOR: No problem. What's his comop number?
CHRISTINE: His what?
COMPUTER OPERATOR: In the upper left-hand corner of your file on the first page.
MARY BETH: There's no number.
COMPUTER OPERATOR: That's impossible.
CHRISTINE: Well, do you see a number?
COMPUTER OPERATOR: All files were supposed to be coded months ago.
MARY BETH: Well, we have this name, we have this whole record here. Isn't that enough?
COMPUTER OPERATOR: You want me to run a whole database search?
MARY BETH: I wanna list of Malcolm Kingsley's associates. Isn't that all right? Isn't that definitive...
CHRISTINE: (taking her aside) Mary Beth.
MARY BETH: What?
CHRISTINE: Give her a break?
MARY BETH: Well, what is the point of all this fancy equipment? We used to be able to look in a drawer.
CHRISTINE: Mary Beth.
MARY BETH: I am fine.
CHRISTINE: Be objective.
MARY BETH: Hey! Aren't you the one that was so hot to punch Kingsley's ticket? Well, I'm with you now.
CHRISTINE: I was kinda counting on for ballast!
MARY BETH: Oh, I get it. You can go charging all over the city and I'm supposed to be the one that keeps you from kicking in the wrong door.
CHRISTINE: What are partners for? Ha, ha, ha.
COMPUTER OPERATOR: You two wanna continue this encounter some...
MARY BETH: Hey, can you get us what we need or not?!
COMPUTER OPERATOR: Without a comop number it'll take some time.
CHRISTINE: Where are your old files?
COMPUTER OPERATOR: In the basement?
CHRISTINE: Fine, that's where we're going.
COMPUTER OPERATOR: You're supposed to come here.
CHRISTINE: Mark Beldon still in charge here? (the computer operator nods) Thanks for the information.

[Detectives' Squad room]

(Claudia Petrie comes in. Marcus is putting in some eye drops)
PETRIE: Oh, Claudia! Hi, honey. What are you doing here?
CLAUDIA: I need to talk to you.
PETRIE: Oh, Claudia this really isn't...
CLAUDIA: (holding up a bank deposit book) It's important.

[Interview room]

CLAUDIA: An engagement ring?
PETRIE: You wanna know where I've been every night?
CLAUDIA: Oh, yes I do!
PETRIE: Working in security for Anthony.
CLAUDIA: Your brother!
PETRIE: No, Mark Anthony! I'm, sorry. I'm sorry. I've got eight hundred dollars liability. A down payment on nothing. I so much wanted for you to have that ring.
CLAUDIA: Oh, baby, why didn't you tell me? I don't want you killing yourself over some ring. I don't care anything about some engagement ring.
PETRIE: Mm. Ha. Well, that's very good Claudia. Yeah, that's very good ...because you're not getting it. In the bar,...
CLAUDIA: Yeah.
PETRIE: ...they took that from me too.
CLAUDIA: (affectionately understanding) Oh, no.
PETRIE: If I hadn't been so stupid I wouldn't have had it with me that night. If I hadn't been so stupid I would have had it insured!
CLAUDIA: No, Marcus, please don't do this to me.
PETRIE: If I hadn't been so stupid I would have told you about it so you wouldn't have had to come up with any crazy ideas. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.
CLAUDIA: Where are you going?
PETRIE: I've got to work! (he turns back and takes Claudia in his arms)

[Squad car]

(at night the car draws up in a Manhattan street)
MARY BETH: Here it is. Seven thirty-two.
CHRISTINE: This better pan out. Beldon has been asking me for a date for one year.
MARY BETH: Oh, come on, with the difference in pay it won't be too bad.
CHRISTINE: The pay! (Mary Beth chuckles) He's like a dead squirrel.
MARY BETH: One date is worth the risk.
CHRISTINE: Mary Beth, the man is five inches shorter than I am. Did you see his teeth? They're longer than his nose.
MARY BETH: Yeah, but he has no personality.
(Mary Beth chuckles again)
CHRISTINE: Let's go and see if the guys want a piece of this.
(Mary Beth continues to chuckle. Chris gets out the car and goes into a phone booth)

[Detectives' Squad room]

(La Guardia is typing. His the phone goes)
LA GUARDIA: (into phone) La Guardia, Fourteenth Squad.
CHRISTINE: (on phone) La Guardia. Hi, it's Cagney. Listen now, we got a really hot lead on those three robbers. Do you wanna a part of it?
LA GUARDIA: (into phone) No, no, no. Oh, that's OK.
CHRISTINE: (on phone) You sure?
LA GUARDIA: (into phone) Yeah, I'm sure.
CHRISTINE: (on phone) Is anyone else there? Is Petrie? Is the Lieutenant?
LA GUARDIA: (into phone) The Lieutenant went out to dinner a while ago, and Petrie was sleeping and er, Petrie was sleeping at his desk.

[Phone booth]

LA GUARDIA: (on phone) I think he's gone home. Do you want any backup?
CHRISTINE: (into phone) No! We're in the Seventh Precinct. I'm not gonna share this collar with those bozos. I'll talk to you later. (to Mary Beth who has got out of the car) It's you and me kid.

[Detectives' Squad room]

(La Guardia goes back to his typing. It's his resignation letter, 'immediate effect')

[Seven-three-two]

(the duo approaches the door, guns drawn. Chris knocks. When there is no reply she carefully tries to turn the doorknob. This sets off a security hooter and flashing light)
CHRISTINE: Oh great.
MARY BETH: Wanna make a run for it?

[Samuels' office]

SAMUELS: (into phone) Let me finish, OK? I mean, you've had your say, I'll have mine. ...Well, in the period of time that you have been on this case a man has been killed! And my detectives, working beyond the call of duty, have managed to track down the hideout of one of these robbers. ...And with the aid of your officers, and a search warrant, they found another one of the stolen weapons. ..Yeah, the gun (he picks up (La Guardia's letter) belonging to Detective La Guardia. ...So as far as I can see, Lieutenant, continued cooperation, not inter-departmental rivalry, is the key to cracking this case. ...I'm sorry to hear that you feel that way. ...Because we are gonna pursue these men as aggressively as we can! Somebody has to!
(he rings off)

[Detectives' Squad room]

MARY BETH: Next.
CHRISTINE: Tony de Huyt.
MARY BETH: In jail. Twenty years armed robbery.
CHRISTINE: That counts out Tony de Huyt. ...Amos Lejeure.
MARY BETH: I know Amos Lejeure.
SAMUELS: (coming out of his office) Where the hell is Petrie?
CHRISTINE: I don't know, Lieutenant. He was here.
SAMUELS: He's never here! And when he's here, he's asleep at his desk!
MARY BETH: Oh, Amos Lejeure is OD. What a shame.
SAMUELS: You know, you two tripped over a lot of toes last night. I've been on the phone all morning with the Seventh Precinct.
MARY BETH: Sorry sir.
SAMUELS: Sorry sir. I don't want problems! I want arrests!
(Samuels goes back into his office)
CHRISTINE: A cheery 'Good afternoon' to you too sir. ...Danny Boone.
MARY BETH: Danny Boone? Just paroled.

[Squad car]

(the car pulls into an alleyway)
MARY BETH: Get backup, will ya.
CHRISTINE: Why don't you just say 'Back up'?
MARY BETH: Sorry, Christine, it's a very possible...
CHRISTINE: You sound just like my father. Everyone in my life tells me it's possible.

[Alleyway]

(the duo gets out the car just as a man with an Alsatian jogs past)
CHRISTINE: Excuse me. Hey!
MARY BETH: Hey!
(they stop him against the car)
BOONE: (to the dog) Here, Spike. Out of my way, cops.
MARY BETH: Cops! Where did you get cops?
BOONE: Think you're undercover? You make me laugh.
CHRISTINE: Hey, back off, will ya? You won't be able to laugh.
MARY BETH: Oh, no. No now, Christine, I think that Mr. Boone is very perceptive here.
BOONE: Oh, I get it. You a good cop, (looking at Chris) bad cop. I didn't know lady cops did that one. (looking at Mary Beth) What are you gonna tell me you like about me?
MARY BETH: (grabbing him and throwing across the bonnet of the car) I don't like anything...
CHRISTINE: No! Hey! hey. We're not here to hassle you. What we wanna find out is the whereabouts of a business associate of yours.
BOONE: See this dog?
(the dog has its paws on the bonnet of the car)
CHRISTINE: Yeah.
BOONE: He's a killer. He's trained to eat cops. Attack, Spike!
(the dog whimpers)
MARY BETH: Would you can the comedy? We wanna know about that creep named Malcolm Kingsley.
BOONE: Kingsley! That limey. I'd like to catch up with him for about five minutes. That's all. That'd teach him to disappear with his business associate's money.
CHRISTINE: Maybe you could tell us where we could find him then.
BOONE: If I knew where to find him I'd be in Florida right now. Me and Spike, playing the ponies.
MARY BETH: I'm beginning to lose patience here, Boone.
BOONE: Hey, if I knew where to put hands on him, I'd take care of him myself! If you happen to find him, tell him 'Danny Boone's looking for him'.
CHRISTINE: Sure. We'll warn him about Spike.
BOONE: Hey, you don't have to be so hostile.
MARY BETH: Get off the car. Get off the car!

[Main street warehouse shop]

(Isbecki is there talking to two young uniformed officers. There is silverware in the foreground, electrical goods on racks etc.)
ISBECKI: Persistence. That's the key. Some cops would have backed out after the first check.
UNIFORMED OFFICER: Not Victor Isbecki.
ISBECKI: That's why they call me a maverick cop. A cop that goes his own way.
LARRY: Isbecki, you won't believe this stuff, but there's a fourth truckload downstairs in the basement.
(as Larry pulls away a pallet truck loaded with stolen goods, Isbecki picks up a labelled ring from it)
ISBECKI: Well now, this will probably mean a promotion. Some of us were born to be ingenious, the rest ... just engineers.

[Detectives' Squad room]

DETECTIVE: Great work, Isbecki. Nice collar.
(Isbecki sits on Petrie's desk)
PETRIE: Congratulations, Victor. Good work.
ISBECKI: Better than you think.
(Isbecki has put the ring on a pencil and holds it up)
PETRIE: My ring! (as Isbecki pulls it away) My ring...
ISBECKI: I've gotta keep it for evidence but after we've done with it, it's yours.
PETRIE: Victor, I think I'm in love with you. I'm calling Claudia right now.
(the duo comes up)
CHRISTINE: Where did you get that!
ISBECKI: The super-fence. Oh, as for the guys that stole it, I have an address. It appears your bowl is full.
(Chris grabs the piece of paper and looks at it)
CHRISTINE: You just happened to stumble across this?
MARY BETH: (grabbing the paper from Chris) While we've been breaking our arches on it. Lieutenant!
(Isbecki holds the ring up to Chris)
CHRISTINE: I thought Poirot was Belgian. Correction.
ISBECKI: (as Chris walks away) Oh listen, the thing about me is I'm a maverick. If it's meant to happen for me, it does.

[Warehouse yard]

(a car driven by La Guardia comes in. Mary Beth and Samuels, with a rifle, are hiding behind some skips. Chris )
MARY BETH: La Guardia, sir?
(Chris and Petrie, gun drawn, are also there. La Guardia gets out of the car)
LA GUARDIA: (abruptly) You wanted to see me?
SAMUELS: It could be all three of our robbers are in there.
LA GUARDIA: I resigned!
SAMUELS: I didn't accept you resignation. Right now you're still under my command. Are you armed?
LA GUARDIA: It's in the car.
SAMUELS: Yeah, well, get it! You and Cagney'll cover the far end!
LA GUARDIA: Bert...
SAMUELS: That is an order, Detective La Guardia. Petrie, you and Lacey, around me. I want everybody to remember, these guy's are killers.
(they all take up their positions around the building)

[Warehouse]

(inside the building they silently move past packing cases and into a corridor. Voices can be heard. Petrie uses a sledgehammer to smash open a door. Two robbers are immediately restrained and made to lie down. Kingsley makes a break)
PETRIE [OC]: Where's your friend?!

[Warehouse yard]

(La Guardia sees Kingsley running away)
LA GUARDIA: Halt! ...Stop! Police!
(Kingsley jumps in a van and drives it towards La Guardia who fires all six shots into the van. The van turns on it's side and skids to a halt. Chris runs up and opens the van's back door. Kingsley is wounded and struggling to get to his feet)
CHRISTINE: Wanna draw on me, Mr. Kingsley?
(there is blood on Kingsley's forehead and coming from his mouth)
CHRISTINE: Maybe I won't shoot. ...The gun's right there. Only a few inches away. ...Why don't you try me, louse.
(Kingsley sinks back)

[Torchy's]

ISBECKI: I should have had a promotion. After all, I can't understand why they only gave me a commendation. (to Claudia) Actually, I guess, it's because I'm known as a maverick cop.
CLAUDIA: Victor, is this the one about the engineer and the computer...
PETRIE: I think we've heard this one before.
ISBECKI: Er, remember I'm the one who found the ring.
PETRIE: Of course, she can never hear this story too many times.
ISBECKI: (to the waitress as she sits on his lap) Well, the thing is, how much call is there for a maverick cop?
LA GUARDIA: I'm glad we came back to Torchy's. It's the old getting-back-on-the-horse-after-you've-been-thrown syndrome.
SAMUELS: You know you were really something out there on the street today, Paul.
LA GUARDIA: Bert, about that letter.
SAMUELS: You know, my office is in such a mess, I must have lost it.
LA GUARDIA: (as they chink glasses) Thanks.
(Chris is looking very thoughtful)
MARY BETH: We did good, huh? Like cops, not vigilantes. Look at us. Proud of us?
CHRISTINE: Mary Beth, ...at the van, I dared Kingsley to go for his gun. I could have killed him. He could have killed me. It was stupid. Are you still proud of me?
MARY BETH: I'm proud you're thinking about it.
CHRISTINE: I don't think I'll do that again.
MARY BETH: Chris, we got three bad guys in jail.
CHRISTINE: We found the key.
MARY BETH: Yes. So we did good.
CHRISTINE: Yes, we did. Guys! Here's to the Fourteenth!
(they all raise their glasses)
SAMUELS: You said it. To the Fourteenth.
LA GUARDIA: Another day, another collar.
MARY BETH: Here's my date.
(Harvey comes in and gives a bottle of champagne to La Guardia. There is also one for Mary Beth and Chris)

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