MARY BETH: Look at this. (spotting a young girl) Sonia Maltese! Pull over.
CHRISTINE: Is she our concern?
MARY BETH: Don't argue with me! Pull over.
CHRISTINE: I'm pulling over. Right?
(as the car stops, a young girl runs off)
MARY BETH: Police! Stop! Stop! Damn it!
(Mary Beth eventually tackles the girl to the ground in an alleyway and then, very aggressively, gets her up against the wall to handcuff her. Chris catches them up)
CHRISTINE: You wanna lighten up a little. She's not exactly public enemy number one.
MARY BETH: You tell that to the people that she ripped off.
SONIA MALTESE: I want to warn you guys. I know important people.
MARY BETH: Not where you're going. You can call them off.
SONIA MALTESE: (almost crying) You can't take me in!
MARY BETH: I know your guys. You should call them off.
SONIA MALTESE: A curse on you and a curse on your children!
MARY BETH: (as she completes the cuffing) All right.
SONIA MALTESE: May your firstborn regret his very name!
[Detectives' Squad room]
MARY BETH: (into phone) Right away. I am so sorry to keep you on hold like that. It's kind of frantic around here. ...Yeah. ...Ma'am, can you simply discuss this with me on the phone and then I will talk to Harvey Jr.
CHRISTINE: You got trouble with Harve Jr.? We are late.
MARY BETH: Just a moment, ma'am.
(La Guardia, carrying a bag, comes in with a man)
MAN: I've been going there for twenty years! Never a day in jail! No arrests. What kind of a precinct is this?
MARY BETH: (into phone against the commotion) No, I'm trying to explain to you that I cannot get down to school today. My partner and I have a witness to interview.
CHRISTINE: She will not be there if we do not hurry up.
MAN: First you confiscate all my cash! Now you tell me you won't accept plastic!
MARY BETH: (into phone) I understand that it's important if my son is in trouble, of course I wanna talk with you about it!
MAN: Where's my dime? I wanna call my lawyer.
LA GUARDIA: You won't need a dime.
MAN: (as La Guardia leads him to the phone they pass somebody else being escorted in) Manny, they got you too!
CHRISTINE: I'll take care of the witness. All right? You type up the report on Sonia.
MARY BETH: Wait a minute, Christine! (into phone) Mrs. Montana, may I call you back?
CHRISTINE: It's not a problem. It'd really be easier if I did it myself.
MARY BETH: Wait. Wait. (into phone) Yes, ma'am, I'm still here.
(Chris goes off)
(Mary Beth is still on the phone)
MAN: (to Manny) I can't believe they call bookmaking a crime. (shout out) I'm calling Social Service! Who'd look at those games if they didn't have a little bet going! What would the guys do on the weekends? Drink, beat up their wives, whack up their kids...
[Detectives' Squad room]
MARY BETH: (shouts) Would you shut up over there!! (into phone) Er, no. ...Er, I am sorry. We all of us have policies. ...No, I am not asking you to bend the rules. ...Tomorrow afternoon is... No, I can't. Tomorrow is Friday. I'm going on vacation Friday.
...I know my son is more important than a vacation. ...I will be there this afternoon. ...As soon as I can. ...Good-bye.
PETRIE: (as he passes he puts a file on her desk) A case, from Samuels.
MARY BETH: Oh, great. That's exactly what I need. Where is Christine?
PETRIE: She's left.
MARY BETH: Damn it! Damn! I told her to wait!!!
PETRIE: Please don't get mad at me, I just work here.
MARY BETH: Marcus, I'm sorry. I'm crazy. I'm crazy today. I'm sorry. It's nothing that a week away from this place won't cure. OK?
PETRIE: Tomorrow night, right?
MARY BETH: Er, yeah. It's exactly twenty-six hours and thirteen minutes, but who's counting?
(she picks up her coat and goes out)
MAN: (to Petrie) Hey, Psst. Come here. Lend me bail money and I'll give you the next at Saratoga.
(the boys are watching TV)
HARVEY: (from the kitchen) Hey, Harvey, do you wanna turn it down, please?
MICHAEL: I'm hungry. Where's Mum?
MARY BETH: I don't know. She's going to get something from the pizza place. There's some popcorn in the refrigerator.
HARVEY: (hearing her the door) Here's your mother.
MICHAEL: (leaping up on a chair and throwing his arms round her shoulders) Mum, I want to tell you something.
MARY BETH: (as he almost falls off) Don't hang on me, Michael!
HARVEY: Where's the pizza?
MARY BETH: Pizza?
HARVEY: You forgot the pizza?
MARY BETH: Not now, Michael! (to Harvey Jr.) Turn that thing off!
MARY BETH: How could you forget the pizza? Where've you been?
HARVEY: Turn it off!
(the room goes silent)
MARY BETH: I got a call today from Harvey Jr.'s teacher, Mrs. Montana.
HARVEY JR.: I didn't do anything.
MARY BETH: (pointing at him) You're already in trouble young man! Now I would tread softly if I were you.
HARVEY: What's the problem?
MARY BETH: I had the great privilege of being called away from my job to be told that my son is slugging it out with his friends in the hallway.
HARVEY JR.: He wasn't my friend.
MARY BETH: Don't you point at me! You did the one thing, didn't ya, that would get me...
HARVEY: Mary Beth!
HARVEY JR.: Congratulations. You did very well. You embarrassed me in front of everybody I work with, and your teacher made me feel like an unfit mother!
HARVEY: (to Mary Beth) Do you wanna stop talking until you cool down. I'm sure he didn't hit somebody to make you look bad.
HARVEY JR.: They were trying to break into my locker, Mom! Hitting him is hardly a crime. It's just like a felony, right?
HARVEY: Harvey, that's the kind of question you need time to think about before you answer. We're all hungry. What d'ya say we all get something to eat and then we'll talk? Mike, get your jacket on. Harvey, cool it, yeah? Come on!
MARY BETH: (quietly) Sorry about this.
HARVEY: Well, come on! (as Mary Beth walks into the kitchen) It's not the end of the world. Are we going for Chinese?
HARVEY JR.: Chicken, please.
HARVEY: All right, we'll get some fried chicken.
MICHAEL: I hate fried chicken!
MARY BETH: (in a bit of a daze as they all go out) I forgot the pizza.
(later Harvey is rubbing Mary Beth's back)
MARY BETH: Mm hm.
HARVEY: Old magic fingers is here. ...This oughta get you relaxed. What has got you so wound up lately?
MARY BETH: I don't know, Harve. I can't even talk to my own kids any more. And you're just good with him, and I've forgot the knack.
HARVEY: I think you're doing just fine. ...Come on, relax!
MARY BETH: I've forgot how.
HARVEY: Come on. ...Atta girl.
MARY BETH: (jumping up) Oh, Michael!
HARVEY: What now!
MARY BETH: No, he wanted to tell me something when I came in.
HARVEY: It can wait till morning!
MARY BETH: I doubted him too, honey.
HARVEY: Oh, come on Mary Beth, he's not gonna turn into a axe-murderer just because you yell at him once or twice.
MARY BETH: (as she climbs into bed) Thanks. Thanks.
MARY BETH: We're going on vacation, and we need a vacation, I can't think about anything else. ...When we get back from vacation I'm gonna be a different person. I'm gonna be relaxed ...and loving ...and sexy.
HARVEY: Do we have to wait until we back?
MARY BETH: Yeah. OK?
(Harvey kisses her and then tries to kiss her some more)
MARY BETH: No, OK? OK, baby? OK.
MARY BETH: (as she puts the bedside light out) Eighteen hours and ten minutes.
[Precinct building yard]
(Chris is waiting outside in the car drumming her fingers on the steering wheel. Mary Beth comes running out carrying a long tube)
MARY BETH: I'm sorry I'm late. Michael waited until this morning to tell me he needed a cake for school. Lucky I had a cake mix, huh.
(Chris roars off with squealing tyres)
MARY BETH: You been waiting long?
CHRISTINE: (holding up a hand with fingers extended) Ten nails. I've been waiting for them to dry.
MARY BETH: Oh, Chris, I'm sorry. Listen I know we're in a kinda of a hurry but we have to make a stop.
CHRISTINE: Mary Beth! Why?
MARY BETH: Look, Chris, I wouldn't ask you if it wasn't important. Harve called as I'm on my way out of the door and says he forgot (indicating the tube) his tools and he cannot start unless I drop them off.
CHRISTINE: Where is he?
MARY BETH: The bank building, over near The Village.
CHRISTINE: The Village! No! We'll be late for court and we can't do it!
MARY BETH: Chris, no, I've thought about that. Now when was Judge Carson ever on time?
CHRISTINE: I don't remember.
MARY BETH: OK. So, I think we can drop this stuff off at Harve and we'll be in court long before the good judge. ...Would you trust me on this? We'll be sitting outside the courtroom on our third cup of coffee before he ever shows up.
JUDGE CARSON: I find you in contempt of court which carries with it a fifty-dollar fine. Each! See the court clerk and make arrangements.
MARY BETH: Your Honour, I would like to say...
JUDGE CARSON: You were late, Detective! There's nothing more to talk about. (as the duo leaves) Cops these days!
[Corridor in court building]
MARY BETH: Wonderful! I am four from four. I have disappointed everybody in my life. (rummaging in her handbag) Wait a minute. Come here.
MARY BETH: (turning Chris's back towards her) Stay there.
CHRISTINE: What are you doing?!
MARY BETH: I am writing you a cheque.
CHRISTINE: Forget it! I don't want your cheque.
MARY BETH: Chris! No! It was my fault and I've gotta pay for it. (as she writes the cheque) I haven't figured out yet how to be in four places at once.
CHRISTINE: I do not want your money, Mary...
MARY BETH: It'll make me feel better.
CHRISTINE: You're making too big a deal out of this! All you need is a vacation.
MARY BETH: All right.
CHRISTINE: We'll get through this one day, then you get a whole week off. Then I know you can hang in for anything for eight hours.
MARY BETH: You're not looking forward to my vacation as much as I am.
(as Mary Beth tears off the cheque. She has accidentally torn off a second blank cheque which drops to the floor. She stops dead and puts her hand to her head)
MARY BETH: Oh! (Chris goes backs to her) Oh.
CHRISTINE: Eight hours. (picking up the blank cheque) I'll get this. ...Eight hours. Come on.
MARY BETH: Actually it's six hours and twenty-six minutes.
[Detectives' Squad room]
(the duo returns. Samuels comes out of his office)
SAMUELS: Cagney! Lacey!
MARY BETH: Sir, if it's about our testimony this morning, I want you to know it was entirely my fault.
SAMUELS: Marquette's latest brainstorm. Our illustrious Deputy Inspector wants two undercover nuns at St. Joseph's Hospital to break up the drug dealing operation.
MARY BETH: (looking at Chris) Two nuns!
SAMUELS: Sister Lacey. Sister Cagney.
MARY BETH: I'm starting my vacation tonight!
CHRISTINE: Why two! They don't travel in pairs anymore.
SAMUELS: Oh, that's good. Marquette only just finished busting my chops and now I get a hard time from you two.
MARY BETH: Sir! Please. ...Can someone else do it.
SAMUELS: Do you see anyone else in this room who could pass for a nun?
MARY BETH: Well, why does it have to be nuns, sir? Couldn't you put one the guys undercover as a patient or something?
SAMUELS: Because it has to be!
MARY BETH: Sir, I need this time off!
CHRISTINE: She really does, Lieutenant. I can do this by myself.
SAMUELS: Well, there is nothing I can do. Marquette is on the Board of Governors at St. Jo's, he knows the place! He says 'Two nuns', I gotta give him two nuns! It's his plan and we gotta do it his way! Put off you're vacation a week or two. I'll see if I can get you an extra day.
(Samuels goes back to his office)
CHRISTINE: Sorry, Mary Beth.
SAMUELS: (to Chris as she follows him) Take a look at the other nurses...
(Mary Beth stands there in a daze with recent events and words going through her mind. She then goes over to her desk, wipes her coffee mug clean and puts it in the middle of her desk. She turns and walks slowly out)
SAMUELS: (Chris is taking notes) Class one, two controlled substances. Morphine, demerol, beractant, secanol. About a hundred thousand dollars worth at street value.
CHRISTINE: Who has access?
SAMUELS: The charge nurses. They're the only ones with the keys. ...Where the hell is Lacey? It doesn't make sense, going through this thing twice! ...Well, get her!!
CHRISTINE: Mary Beth?
[Detectives' Squad room]
CHRISTINE: You guys seen Lacey?
ISBECKI: No. I thought she was with you?
(Chris goes to Mary Beth's desk and sees her mug and her daily calendar which says 'ZERO HOUR. 6PM'.
SAMUELS [OC]: Cagney! Lacey!
(later. Chris is dressed in white nun's habit)
CHRISTINE: (into phone) No, she steamed out. Wants to walk it off. She's nowhere here in the building. ...Yeah, I'll have her call you. ...Oh, Harvey, I'm really sorry about your vacation. ...Yes. ...Right, right.
SAMUELS: She coming?
CHRISTINE: She wasn't home. He hasn't heard from her.
SAMUELS: She's gonna hear from me when she walks back through that door! All right, I can't wait for her to quit howling and show her face. I need somebody else to with ya.
LA GUARDIA: You don't think anything's happened to her, do you?
SAMUELS: No. She's a grown woman. She's a cop. She just got just got miffed that her vacation got put off. ...Isbecki! I want you to go with Cagney over to St. Joseph's.
CHRISTINE: (to Samuels) Isbecki!
ISBECKI: Do you want me to be a nun?!
LA GUARDIA: Oh, don't even think that. That's unthink... Isbecki?
SAMUELS: So what do you think?
ISBECKI: How about a doctor? I'd make a pretty good doctor. Dr. Isbecki.
CHRISTINE: (to Samuels) Orderly.
SAMUELS: An orderly. All right, I want everybody to report back here tonight before you go home. I want to know everything you've got.
CHRISTINE: (as Cagney goes to leave) Hey, La Guardia, if Mary Beth calls, can you get her to call Harvey?
LA GUARDIA: You got it.
SAMUELS: Cagney! ...Nail polish!
CHRISTINE: Oh, yes. Too much, do you think? Come on, Isbecki.
ISBECKI: (to Samuels) Orderly.
[St. Joseph's Hospital corridor]
(Isbecki is pushing a patient in a wheelchair. Another orderly, Dortmunder, joins him)
DORTMUNDER: Hey, you new?
DORTMUNDER: Well, you give it a year and you'll like it.
ISBECKI: Ha, ha.
DORTMUNDER: Hey, dude, where do they get their orderlies? A chain gang. You gonna take a break? I'll take him.
DORTMUNDER: No problem.
[St. Joseph's Hospital pharmacy]
(Chris wanders up to a counter where a Sister is issuing drugs to a nurse)
CHARGE NURSE SISTER: That's five milligrams morphine, right? ...There you are.
(the nurse goes off. Chris spots a key laying on the counter)
CHARGE NURSE SISTER: Yes. (seeing Chris holding the key) Oh, I'm sorry, Sister , I didn't realise you needed help. What can I do for you?
CHRISTINE: I think you left this on the counter.
CHARGE NURSE SISTER: Oh, well it wouldn't do for me to lose that, now would it?
CHRISTINE: Especially with all the drugs that have been stolen.
CHARGE NURSE SISTER: Oh, good heavens! No, that isn't the key to the drug cabinet. (showing Chris keys on her wrist) No, no, these are the keys to the controlled substances. That's the key to my motor scooter. Thank you, Sister.
[Empty hospital room/Laceys' kitchen]
(Chris makes a phone call)
CHRISTINE: Harvey, it's Chris.
HARVEY: Hi ya, Chris. I was hoping it was Mary Beth.
CHRISTINE: Haven't you heard from her?
HARVEY: No, no. Not a thing, not yet.
CHRISTINE: Where is she?
HARVEY: Well, you know, Mary Beth, she likes to go to movies to sort things out. Er. maybe she found herself a good double feature.
CHRISTINE: Well, maybe. How are the boys?
HARVEY: They're asleep. I didn't see any reason to say anything to them yet. I just said their mother was working late. I've been living by the phone.
CHRISTINE: Harvey... (there are a couple of screams outside the room Chris is in) Harvey, I gotta go. I'll talk to you later. Everything will be OK.
WALLY: Oh, no!
(Chris rushes into the room where the moans are coming from. A doctor, Dan O'Connell, is with a patient, Wally)
O'CONNELL: You're a hard men, Wally, but I never welch on a bet. Forty-seven fifty.
WALLY: I like a gambling man! Thank you. (seeing Chris) Oh, a new one. Very pretty.
O'CONNELL: Can I help you, Sister.
CHRISTINE: I just heard screaming and I wondered what had happened.
O'CONNELL: My own cardiac arrest. Mine! Brought on by the Boston Celtics scoring fourteen unanswered points. You better get some rest, Wally and don't spend all your winnings on one bet.
WALLY: Hey, no one knows better than Wally! Anytime you wanna bet on those bums again.
O'CONNELL: Aw, give it rest.
WALLY: Any time you like, I'll take your money!
O'CONNELL: He's a sweet old guy. Cheers him up bet on the games.
CHRISTINE: Of course. It's very kind of you to take the time.
O'CONNELL: Just part of the old total healing concept. Actually it's just a cheap trick to improve my recoveries percentage. (Chris laughs) I haven't seen you around here, have I?
CHRISTINE: I'm Sister Laurette. They transferred me from St. John's.
(his beeper goes)
O'CONNELL: Got to get back to Emergency. You know, Wally was right, you are pretty.
CHRISTINE: I beg your pardon.
O'CONNELL: I'll see you around, Sister.
[Detectives' Squad room]
HARVEY: Hey, I've called everyone I can think of. Where the hell is she?
SAMUELS: She's not back yet?
HARVEY: What are you doing to find her?
SAMUELS: I thought she would be back by now. Come on, I'll put a man on it.
HARVEY: One man, huh? Don't you think you owe her more than that?
(Harvey follows Samuels into his office)
SAMUELS: Listen, let me take care of this. This is what we do. Wanna drink?
HARVEY: I want my wife! Fourteen years of marriage, she's never gone off like this. What did you do to her?
HARVEY: Yeah, you. You wouldn't let up on her. You pushed her and pushed her. You couldn't let her have a lousy seven days out of this place.
SAMUELS: Hey, look, Lacey, I don't push your wife any harder than I push anybody else. She's a police officer. A cop! I don't pamper her just because she's a woman.
HARVEY: No, no, no. She's gotta a family. She's got a life outside of this lousy Squad room.
SAMUELS: Well, I understand that.
HARVEY: No, you don't! Because you were such a good cop you let your marriage go right into the toilet.
SAMUELS: Hey, hey, hey. Cheap shot.
HARVEY: You know I'm not gonna let you do that to me and Mary Beth.
SAMUELS: Do you know where I think your wife is? I think she went off just to get away from you, that's what I think. Because every time I step out in that Squad room she's on that phone to you talking about the damn laundry! Or the garbage ..or the groceries ...or the kids ...or the schools!
SAMUELS: Yeah, you!!
HARVEY: I'm the one who cooks meals so she can do overtime. I'm the one who sits home with the kids so she...
SAMUELS: Do you know what you sound like!! You sound just like my ex-wife. You don't understand the first thing about being a cop.
(his phone goes)
SAMUELS: (into phone) Yeah? ...Yeah, what?! (to Harvey) Cagney. ...Yeah. ..What? ...When? ...Yeah, well, what the hell were you two doing?! ...Well, all right, all right. But I want the both of yous to check in here in the morning before you start. ...Yes.
(he slams down the phone)
SAMUELS: A batch of drugs disappeared from that hospital overnight and that's the case your wife is supposed to be working on!
HARVEY: (as he goes to leave) I'm sorry for busting in on ya tonight. I just feel so damned helpless, I wanted somebody to tell me everything was gonna be OK.
SAMUELS: All right, Lacey, I'll get somebody looking. Sure you don't want that drink?
HARVEY: Maybe next time.
SAMUELS: (into phone) Johnny, where's Stevens? Well, tell him to get his butt in here. I've got a job for him, right now!
[Laceys' kitchen/Phone booth]
(Harvey is sleeping by the phone. It rings)
MARY BETH: Harve, I want you to know I'm all right.
HARVEY: Mary Beth...
MARY BETH: No, no don't say anything, Harve, please. If you say one word I'm gonna have to hang up. OK? ..I'm sorry I worried you. That's not fair. Listen, I don't know where I am exactly. I was coming home. I was. And then I couldn't get off the train. Ha, ha, ha. I'm OK, but I need to be alone for a little while, OK, Harve. I need to stay away and so be a friend and don't worry about me. All right?
HARVEY: I love you, Mary Beth.
MARY BETH: What?! Damn you, Harvey, I told you! What did you have to say that for?
(she rings off)
(Mary Beth is sitting on the beach. A woman, Maggie, strides up)
MAGGIE: Really comforting! (Mary Beth jumps) You know, I used to think that it was the size of the ocean puts everything into perspective. I mean you can't come face to face with the Atlantic Ocean and still think you're the centre of the universe, right?
MARY BETH: I'm sorry but I... Look, I don't mean to be rude but I would like to be alone.
MAGGIE: No, I know what you mean. I come to the beach for that too but it's more than being alone. It's the negative ionisation. It puts you inwards, into yourself. Very calming. Believe, me, I have been to beaches all over the world. Barbados, Cancún, Marseilles. They are all different.
MARY BETH: I'm sure they are.
MAGGIE: But they all give you the same feeling. Inner calm, negative ionisation.
MARY BETH: Listen, Miss.
MAGGIE: No, call me Maggie.
MARY BETH: Maggie? Maggie, I don't know anything about those beaches 'cos I've never been all over the world. As a matter of fact this is the only beach that I know, and now, I would like very much to sit here, on this beach, just quietly, and sort a few things out for myself. ...If that's all right with you.
MAGGIE: Oh, please don't let me bother you.
(with that Maggie takes out small cassette player, turns on some loud classical music and takes out a sketchpad. Mary Beth gets up and walks about fifteen yards towards the sea and sits down again. Maggie proceeds to sketch her)
CHRISTINE: Well, I should have been here when he called. What did he say? Do you know where she is?
SAMUELS: Cagney, she told Harvey she was fine. She wanted to be alone and she hung up.
CHRISTINE: Well, you gotta take me off St. Jo's because I'm gonna go and find her.
CHRISTINE: What? I am as worried about her as you are. There could be charges and specifications against her for being AWOL. Now look, I've got people looking for her. You are on a case. I want you working on it!
[Detectives' Squad room]
(Chris comes out of the office and dials the Laceys' number)
HARVEY: (answer-phone outgoing message) You OK, babe? Please don't hang up. I'm crazy-worried about you. I'm leaving this message so you'll know where I am. Please call me. Five-five-five, six-three-five-one. Please. I love you.
(Harvey is working with some plans)
CHRISTINE: Looks like you're little lady's got a case of withdrawal.
HARVEY: Oh, hello Christine. What about this place, huh? Owners think they could do better with a restaurant than a bank. I guess they figure that people gotta eat.
CHRISTINE: Yeah. ...Listen, Harvey. ...It's my fault I'm afraid. I'm very sorry. ...She's my partner and er, I really push her a little hard sometimes. ...I just keep feeling ambitious and I er, don't care there are other people tugging at her, and I just expect her to be therefore me, ...whenever I need her.
HARVEY: No, you didn't drive her away, Chris, ...any more than I did.
CHRISTINE: Well, I gotta do something to try and find her. Do you know anybody she goes see, who she'd wanna talk to, like friends or relatives.
HARVEY: I've called everyone I can think of.
CHRISTINE: Well. give me your credit card numbers, huh. I'll call 'em in.
CHRISTINE: When this place becomes a restaurant, we'll have dinner here. The three of us, huh? ...On me.
HARVEY: Sounds good.
CHRISTINE: Thanks Harvey.
(Mary Beth is sitting on a grassy knoll just up from the sea. There is classical music in the background. Maggie approaches, holding her sketchbook)
MAGGIE: You look so peaceful, sitting here by yourself. I hope you don't mind but I took the liberty of making a quick sketch of you. Thought you might like a souvenir of your stay at the beach.
MARY BETH: (after some thought) How dare you. (she gets up) How... How dare you ...watch me like that! ...I wanna be alone here! I'm trying to have a nervous breakdown, for God's sake, and you're sitting around putting me on paper!
MAGGIE: Yeah, I know it's not that good but...
MARY BETH: Don't (pointing her finger) ...talk to me! ...Out of my way! (a couple of yards away she turns back) That's just as bad as stealing! (she turns back and grabs the sketch, screws it up and throws it away) That's the same as stealing my time and myself! ...Please ...leave me alone.
[Detectives' Squad room]
LA GUARDIA: (into phone) All right! ...That could be our guy. Thank you. ...Isbecki.
LA GUARDIA: Bert, just got a call from our contact at the FBI. Computer's kicked back just one name so far.
LA GUARDIA: Dortmunder, Lionel A., aged twenty-eight.
ISBECKI: He's an orderly at St. Jo's.
LA GUARDIA: His personnel card says 'High school education' The Feds have him down, same name, same middle initial, same age with a PhD in nuclear physics and a government clearance as a research scientist.
ISBECKI: Well, what the hell is he doing at St. Jo's?
SAMUELS: Find out. Take Petrie with you.
SAMUELS: (to La Guardia) Let me know if something turns up.
LA GUARDIA: You got it.
(Isbecki comes up to Dortmunder. Petrie is in the background)
ISBECKI: Your name Dortmunder?
ISBECKI: You know I thought you looked familiar when we met yesterday, but I wasn't quite sure because I couldn't place you.
DORTMUNDER: Mm hm.
ISBECKI: Then it finally came to me. Buddy of mine, Eddy Dortmunder, went to Syracuse. Are you related?
DORTMUNDER: No, not me pal. It's the wrong Dortmunder.
ISBECKI: (putting his hand on Dortmunder's shoulder) That's funny, because you look just like him.
(Dortmunder notices Petrie and makes a run for it. He throws things in Isbecki and Petrie's way including a gurney. They come out of a back entrance, hear a car door slam and have to jump out the way as Dortmunder drives out at speed. Another car is passing which Dortmunder hits. Isbecki gets him out of the car and cuffs him)
DORTMUNDER: I thought you guys were working for my wife. She is driving me nuts! ...You know, I couldn't take the pressure. Right! Just to support the fancy lifestyle I hated, if you wanna live like that, you've gotta get a job.
PETRIE: Why did you lie on your application?
DORTMUNDER: Do you think they'd given me the job if they knew I had a PhD?
(Maggie is just finishing a meal when Mary Beth comes in and sits at a table behind her)
MARY BETH: (to a waitress) Er, coffee, please.
(Maggie, holding a credit card, has been routing around in her handbag. Hearing Mary Beth she turns round)
MAGGIE: Hi. I'm sorry to bother you, but I er, don't really know anybody else here.
MARY BETH: Lady, you don't really know me.
MAGGIE: I wonder if I could ask you a favour? It's very embarrassing. I'm short. I need seventy cents to pay my bill. ...I just assumed they'd take carte blanche.
(Mary Beth counts out seventy cents from her purse)
MAGGIE: And a tip.
(Mary Beth looks at her in amazement and starts to laugh. So does Maggie)
MARY BETH: What do you need?
MAGGIE: Fifty-five cents.
MARY BETH: Here. (she casts her purse, dollar bills and all, in front of Maggie) That's all I've got. take it
(they continue to laugh. Later Mary Beth is posing for Maggie to sketch her)
MARY BETH: Did you study art and drawing?
MAGGIE: Yeah, I went to The City College of Arts.
MARY BETH: Oh yeah!
MAGGIE: Actually I majored in rabble rousing rather instead of studying, but, er, I had one semester to go I turned out and went third in my class. (banging the table and shouting) Third!
MARY BETH: Third is good.
MAGGIE: Not enough. Either I graduate first in my class, Livermored or not at all. I dropped out.
MARY BETH: Oh, so why would you do that?
MAGGIE: Well, you see, it gave my father another chance to define me as a failure. You see, with him either you're the best in the world ...or nothing! No in-betweens. So I can be nothing, real good.
(Mary Beth and Maggie are walking along, talking. Maggie's cassette player has classical music on)
MAGGIE: Those were good times, were the Sixties. All that energy. You know, somehow we all felt connected. You know, working together, towards something. We were always scuffling with police. Were you into that?
MARY BETH: Let's say I was there.
MAGGIE: What, trying to change the world?
MARY BETH: In my way. Yes, yes. I wanted to make a difference.
(Maggie runs to the top of a knoll and turns round and shouts)
MAGGIE: We're taking over the streets! This is the people's space!
MARY BETH: (shouting back using one of her shoes as a loud hailer) The cavalry's coming over the hill! We've got you surrounded!
MAGGIE: Hell or no, we will go! Hell or no, we will go!
MARY BETH: You come along peaceably! Now I'm gonna call in the er, police porpoises.
MAGGIE: Police porpoises.
(they start to laugh and Maggie runs down to Mary Beth)
MARY BETH: We'll be ending up with the men in the white coats. ...What are we doing? What are we doing here?
MAGGIE: Oh God, you and me, both. (they sit on the sand) I miss it though. I miss having people coming in at all hours of the day and night. Sitting pup late planning how you're gonna to change the world, knowing there was always someone there to talk to. Do you miss it?
MARY BETH: No. I don't miss that at all. You see, I've always got lots of people around me. And they always want something from me, here and now. I shouldn't be here talking to you. I've got at least two other places I'm supposed to be. Do you know, the only time I have for myself is in between places. ...Ten minutes here, five minutes there. On the train. ...What is that on the tape?
MAGGIE: Hayden's Seventy-third in D. Do you like it?
MARY BETH: Hayden's Seventy-third in D. (she gets up) That's... That's what I'm talking about. When was the last time I noticed music? I mean, there are things that I wanna know about that I don't know about. Art, history or er, or econom... (shouting out to the world) Economics!!! I've been thinking about learning about economics for years, and the closest I came was saving green stamps ...for a calculator. Do you remember them? There's stuff I don't wanna miss, and I'm afraid I'm gonna, because I already promised too much of myself to too many people.
MAGGIE: Do wanna a promise?
MARY BETH: Wanna promise. What is that?
MAGGIE: Walk away.
MARY BETH: Oh.
MAGGIE: Look (using a bubble blower she has taken out of her bag) at this. Look at that. Isn't it beautiful? Just floats away and disappears. ..You could do that. (standing up) I'm expecting some money from my father tomorrow. It's a birthday-guilt present. I'm gonna take off for Copacabana. Wanna come?
MARY BETH: Ha.
MAGGIE: Just think about it. I am gonna go and ply my wares. You may not believe it but there are people who would like a souvenir portrait.
MARY BETH: I.. I'm sure there are.
MAGGIE: It may be too late to change the world but it's never too late to see it. (giving Mary Beth the bubble blower and pointing to it) Think about it.
(Mary Beth sits back down and blows bubbles)
CHRISTINE: I couldn't get anything out of any of the charge nurses.
ISBECKI: Whoever had the key to the drug cabinet was on a break.
CHRISTINE: I checked on all the assistants too. Nothing.
ISBECKI: Well, maybe one of the doctors is palming the stuff. Or maybe there's a duplicate key. ...Anyway they leave that night drugs' cabinet unattended an awful lot. ...Cagney. Cagney, are you listening?
CHRISTINE: I'm sorry.
ISBECKI: She'll show up. She knows how to take care of herself.
O'CONNELL: Sister Laurette. I've been looking for you.
O'CONNELL: I was wondering if you were free about nine o'clock I could buy you dinner in the cafeteria? Cleaned up on the Islanders last night. Must have cleared about forty-five bucks.
CHRISTINE: No, not tonight, Doctor, but thank you.
O'CONNELL: How about tomorrow night?
CHRISTINE: Maybe. We'll see.
O'CONNELL: Great. Oh, by the way, if the Rangers lose, Dutch treat.
ISBECKI: I don't believe it! That guy's making a pass at you.
CHRISTINE: Don't be ridiculous.
ISBECKI: Even though you're a nun, he's making a pass at you!
CHRISTINE: Would you knock it off, Isbecki, he's just being nice.
ISBECKI: (as Chris walks away) It isn't what you call it when I do it.
(Maggie is showing a sketch to a couple)
MAGGIE: See how serene you both are? That's negative ionisation.
MAN: It's what?
(just then Mary Beth appears in the distance still playing with the bubble blower)
MARY BETH: Hey!
MAN: I don't think so. ..Thank you.
(the couple walks off)
MARY BETH: Hey, Maggie! I'm taking over this beach. It was yours. How about a hot dog on you. Listen, Maggie, do you remember that time we were talking about, when we were... When we... I did. I wanted to change the world, and I still do. So, I got married ... and I had babies and I... started a job that I thought was important. And that's how I thought I would change things. You know?
MAGGIE: Yeah, I know.
MARY BETH: No, I don't think you do. See. those things were right ...for me. So I figured that the way that I'd change the world is stick to what I believe in. ...Like you. ...You get it?
MAGGIE: I get it. You're not going to Copacabana.
MARY BETH: I can't go to a place I can't pronounce. How am I gonna tell Harve where I am. Listen er, (giving her some money) have the hot dog on me and er, (giving her some more money) have breakfast too. And er, have a wonderful trip. Will you do that?
MAGGIE: All right.
MARY BETH: Thank you.
MAGGIE: Wait! Do you know that tape? The Hayden. It's a favourite of mine too. (she gives Mary Beth the tape) Maybe you'll play it from time to time. huh?
(Mary Beth cradles the tape in two hands, turns and waves as she walks away)
[Detectives' Squad room]
LA GUARDIA: (looking through a receipt book) Since when did bookies start giving away Christmas presents?
MURRAY: There's a lot of competition out there, a lot.
LA GUARDIA: You gave this guy, Roy Zbenko, a stereo tape deck.
MURRAY: Roy, he lost eighty-five grand. I didn't want to leave a bad taste in his mouth. It's not as expensive as it sounds. I get 'em wholesale. Hey, maybe you'd like a stereo tape deck. What's your first name? (no reply) ...Do ...you ...want ...a stereo ...tape ...deck? I wanna get outta here. You know time's...
LA GUARDIA: Would you excuse me just a moment? (he gathers up the receipt book and other papers) I'll be right back. ...Don't go away.
LA GUARDIA: Bert.
LA GUARDIA: Murray Feldmayer, the bookmaker we picked up the other day,...
SAMUELS: Mm hm.
LA GUARDIA: ...his collection book. Dan O'Connell, credit line, fifty thousand dollars. Last year he exceeded that by another fifty thousand dollars. Total one hundred thousand dollars credit line. Feldmayer's Christmas list. Dan O'Connell MD. Nineteen inch colour television set, serial number card.
SAMUELS: Yeah, so what?
LA GUARDIA: Well, that name seemed a little familiar to me. So, Roster of Personnel, St. Joseph's Hospital.
SAMUELS: Dan O'Connell. And he would only make about...
LA GUARDIA: ...eighty thousand dollars a year.
SAMUELS: Go for it!
[Hospital locker room]
(a couple of senior hospital staff are also there. Isbecki is prising open O'Connell's locker)
LA GURDIA: It wouldn't be too difficult for him to siphon off five or ten thousand dollars worth of class two drugs.
CHRISTINE: It's not him.
(the locker door springs open. The top shelf is stacked with drug containers)
ISBECKI: Not, huh? Morphine, ...demerol, ...percodan.
(Chris is looking deflated)
ISBECKI: Let's get him.
CHRISTINE: I know where to find him.
O'CONNELL: Oh, no!
WALLY: (rubbing his hands together and then holding one out for his winnings) Put it there!
O'CONNELL: Oh, Wally, please, you're breaking me, man.
(there is a knock at the door and Chris comes in)
CHRISTINE: Excuse me. Wally, how you feeling?
WALLY: Oh, I'm on a roll. Another winner.
CHRISTINE: Doctor, may I talk to you outside for a moment?
O'CONNELL: Oh, sure you can. I'll be back, Wally.
O'CONNELL: Have you changed your mind about dinner?
(Isbecki is standing nearby)
CHRISTINE: I wish I could, (holding up her badge) but I'm afraid you're too busy.
(as Isbecki moves towards him, O'Connell pushes Chris back into him and makes a break for it. They follow him up the stairs onto the hospital roof. Chris has to hitch up her habit to keep up)
(O'Connell looks down into the well in the middle of the building. Isbecki sand Chris have their guns trained on him)
CHRISTINE: Come on, you're not gonna jump!
O'CONNELL: You wanna lay me odds? ...Sister! (looking down) Oh, well, only suckers bet on long shots.
[Detectives' Squad room]
(Chris, Isbecki and La Guardia return from the hospital)
ISBECKI: I'll start the paperwork on Dr. Dan.
(Chris goes straight into Samuels)
SAMUELS: In the Ladies' room.
SAMUELS: In the Ladies' room.
MARY BETH: Christine, I want you to notice something here. I did not clean up the bathroom.
MARY BETH: In fact I wanted to. I started to. But I made myself stop and wait and think about it.
CHRISTINE: What the hell are you talking about?! Where have you been?! Do you know how many people have been worried sick about you?!
MARY BETH: I'm sorry for that. I never meant to worry you.
CHRISTINE: You're sorry?!
MARY BETH: Yes.
CHRISTINE: Are you all right?
MARY BETH: Chris, I wanna try and tell you what happened, because you don't walk out on a partner, right? There are days, I wake up and the kids are fighting and Harve is complaining because I can't buy two socks that match and the case we've been working upon is falling apart and I think to myself 'I can't do it' That's too much. Then there are days that I wake up and I think 'God I love this life' ...You know?
(she sits beside Mary Beth on the hand basins. She is beginning to smile)
MARY BETH: I called Harve. He's home late and I'm gonna go there and tell him what I just told you. I'm gonna go on vacation for a week and then I'll be back. ...All right?
CHRISTINE: Yeah. Just don't expect me to clean the bathroom while you're gone.
(Mary Beth goes out leaving Chris sitting there)
(Harvey hears Mary Beth come in and rushes to the door)
MARY BETH: I remembered the pizza.
MARY BETH: Harve, do you wanna talk?
HARVEY: (almost crying) After you. I only need to know you're home.
[Detectives' Squad room]
(Mary Beth breezes in, smiling broadly)
MARY BETH: Good morning, good morning all. Good morning Christine.
(there is a general round of applause)
CHRISTINE: (shouts out) How was your week off?
MARY BETH: I recommend it. I recommend it highly. (quietly) Christine we had the best time...
(Chris lets out a knowing laugh)
MARY BETH: Is that my desk? I never saw my desk so clean.
CHRISTINE: (handing over a case file) Here, take this. You know Sonia Maltese?
MARY BETH: Yeah. She's out on bail.
MARY BETH: Oh, that figures.
CHRISTINE: A note for you.
MARY BETH: (reading the note) 'May you never find a moment's rest or peace of mind'
(Samuels dumps a pile of case files on Mary Beth's desk)
MARY BETH: Could be wrong just once.
CHRISTINE: You've got no time for shooting the breeze. I wanna see some work around here!
MARY BETH: Nice to see you too, sir.
(Samuels raises a casual hand in acknowledgement as he walks away)
CHRISTINE: (to Mary Beth) Welcome back.